Session Seven Worksheet:
Embracing Your Spiral

Objective:
Unlearn one-and-done indoctrination that breeds instability.

Pivot toward resilience.

Rethink It:
Move from One-and-Done to Resilience

With all the conversation swirling about resilience, there is little talk about the chaotic environment at hand. Instead, we fall for romanticized stories of individuals moving from setbacks to comebacks, without looking at the bigger picture. Stability comes when we harness empathy and community to get to resilience together.

Resilience Check

• Have I ever felt like I’m done after a setback?
• What makes me feel stable? What makes me feel unstable?
• What kind of storm responses (storm chasing, watching, avoiding) do I typically identify with?
• What aspects are helpful, and which do I want to change?
• Are there any areas of life in which I’m hiding in the basement?
• What or who can help me start climbing the stairs toward healing and new mind-sets?
• What key lessons have I learned from challenging experiences?

Action Steps:
Embrace Your Spiral

When reflecting on our lives, we sometimes overlook that everything we experience is part of a system of dynamic instability. Opportunities to learn and grow are always available, but a sense of adventure and perpetual curiosity are needed to harness the forces at hand. To adopt a forever learning approach, we need to embrace our unique spirals and tune into the ways they teach us.

1. Breathe new air. Think about the common ways you’ve thought about your challenges. How have they deepened your empathy and resilience? Write out three main areas you’ve struggled with and try to come up with a corresponding lesson you’ve derived and used to cope with later challenges.

2. Factor in the forces. Consider your age/stage. What moles are popping up for you right now? What developmental challenges (e.g., moving away from home, retirement, or a new relationship) are requiring your attention? Are the emotions you’re facing making you feel as though you are spinning? Find someone in your network whom you think might be going through something similar. Ask that person to meet for a walk or coffee to talk about the ways they cope.

3. Keep your eye on the good life. The good life isn’t without strife. Be sure you are working to cultivate resilience in community. Staying burrowed in the basement won’t promote growth. Ask a friend or someone at work to remind you of your quest to adapt and remain stable in the face of trying times.

4. Embrace your spiral. Select your favorite forever learning mind-set and work at using it as a mantra for one solid week. Pay attention to the kinds of shifts you experience. Try on a few of them and see which ones help you embrace resilience and reduce any one-and-done mind-sets that breed instability.

You may have experienced what seem to be unspeakable atrocities. But healing is always a possibility—one that increases in probability according to its own unique rhyme and reason—and not because someone said so or did so, but because you stayed on the lookout for countless variables that ended up nudging you away from a process of resignation and relegation. Embracing instability has its own way of stabilizing.