“If there is no struggle,
there is no progress.”
~ Frederick Douglass
CORALINE
I watched him through the mirror as we both prepared for church. Like always, Declan was calm, collected, and deep in thought as he changed into the clothes I picked out for him. He seemed to be on autopilot. Truthfully, I think he had been on autopilot for a long time.
“I love you, Declan.” I smiled at him, causing him to stop and look at me oddly.
He walked over and kissed my cheek. “Me, too.”
On the outside I kept a smile plastered on my face even though I felt like screaming. He didn’t say it back. He used to say, “I love you more.” But that seemed like ages ago. Part of it was my fault—my habit. However, he was to blame as well. He stopped talking to me. He stopped making me part of his life. I just stood on the sidelines now, waiting for whenever he was drunk enough to want to have sex.
I brushed my hair and stared at myself, taking a deep breath before standing up.
“Are you ready?” he asked, trying to tie his tie. Even with my heels, I had to stand on my tiptoes to help him.
“Yeah.” I smiled for him again. I always smiled for him.
Nodding, he took my hand and led me out. With each passing moment, it became clearer and clearer what I needed, and it was Mel’s help.
DECLAN
I was going to hell. The moment I saw Melody step outside, I knew I was going to hell. I was breaking so many sins at once, and on a Sunday no less. One, I lusted after my cousin’s wife. Two, I was jealous of the type of relationship they had. And three, my sweet wife was standing right beside me all the while, unaware.
I cared for Coraline deeply. Looking at her, I couldn’t help feeling like a complete ass. She was so loyal and beautiful. However, she wasn’t the same full-of-life Coraline I remembered. She was so strong when I first met her, she would laugh so hard she would cry. Now . . . now I didn’t know what had fucking happened. Maybe she was scared of me. Maybe she had seen too many bloody shirts. Either way, she stopped being my Coraline a long time ago. Now I looked at Melody, wishing to God I could have one night, and it made me hate myself.
Liam was only now starting to understand how lucky he was. Melody was passionate. She enjoyed the job. She fucking wanted to be more involved in the job. Liam didn’t understand. Every time Neal and I tried to confess to Coraline or Olivia our sins, they would look at us as if we were monsters. We were monsters. We knew that. But our wives shouldn’t think of us that way. Melody was the opposite. During the wedding, she had congratulated Neal for passing her test.
She watched him put a bullet in a motherfucking Russian’s head from a helicopter and came over to say good job, and meant it.
“Declan?”
Smiling, I took Coraline’s hand, walking her to the car door before opening it for her. She looked at me oddly but I kissed her cheek. She smiled back like always as we took our seats. She held my hand as I looked out the window.
I wasn’t going to cheat on Coraline. I would never cheat on Coraline . . . physically. In my mind, I already had. This morning in the shower as I stroked myself, I already had. All I thought about was Melody’s wet—
“Declan!” Coraline giggled, looking down at my erection in my pants.
“Fucking shit.” I tried to adjust myself.
She stopped me and began to unzip me, but I grabbed her wrist.
“You don’t—”
“I want to,” she said, pulling me out of my pants. I jerked in her hands.
“Coraline—”
“Shh, baby,” she whispered before taking me in her mouth.
Instinctively, my head went back, and I heard the driver change the music to something louder. I trusted Sal. He wouldn’t dare speak a word.
I shivered when her tongue licked me. In my mind—because I was a fucking bastard—all I could see was Melody. In my mind, it was Melody kissing my cock, and it made me want to fuck her mouth. The moment Coraline . . . Melody took me into her mouth I grabbed her head. She sucked faster and faster as I thrust my dick into her mouth. Her beautiful brown eyes looked up seeing me coated in lust. I fucked the shit out of her mouth, groaning madly until I came deeply at the back of throat.
When Melody released me, I grinned like an idiot, enjoying how she looked as she licked me clean.
“Better?” the voice of Coraline asked, making me see clearly again.
I was going to hell. Damn it.
“Thank you, sweetheart.” I kissed her forehead as I put my dick back in my pants. What the fuck was wrong with me?
Melody was not my wife. Coraline was my wife, and Coraline was great. Fuck me, I was going to hell.
Taking Coraline’s hand, I tried not to think. I tried really hard not to think of her. I was going to figure out something to make Coraline and me better because she deserved better than this. I, as her husband, owed her better than this. I would be better than this.
I took her hand and kissed it.
“Ready?” I asked her. She nodded, stepping out of the car.
I would be better . . . for her.