Chapter Thirty-Six

ELLIE LIFTED THE squirming toddler onto the yoga ball and kept a tight grip on his waist in case he pitched himself sideways. A knock drummed, more insistent than she might expect when she was in session. Shelley stepped into the room, tentative but concerned. The staff had been tiptoeing around her after the scene with Ben yesterday. She waggled a phone.

“Let’s have three minutes of free time, Aiden.” Ellie set him by a pile of cars and walked to the door. “Is that my cell?”

“I’m sorry, but it kept ringing in your desk drawer. It’s Ben. You take this. I’ll stay here.”

Ellie took the phone and walked toward the offices. “Ben?”

“Mom promised to call at three. At three!” His shrill tone pierced the speaker.

“I don’t understand, buddy.”

“She left me with Grandma and promised to call by three. It’s the day!”

“So you’re in Joliet?”

“No. Grandma is here. Because it’s the day. She said to wait, but you have to help Mom!”

“I will help, but I don’t—”

“The day. The DAY!”

She slapped her hand against the wall. Ben was spinning. “What day? Take a breath. I can’t help if I don’t understand.”

He gulped air on the other end of the line. “The day of the accident!”

The world crashed to a halt. How had she not known? There’d been vague references about summer, but she’d been careful not to press. She ground her palm into her forehead. Too careful.

“Mom went away, but she promised to call by three.”

Ellie made it to her desk and grabbed her keys. “It’s a quarter after, buddy. Maybe—”

“But Mom promised—”

“Okay, okay, I’ll find her. I’m sure she’s fine.”

“She’s not fine!” Ben choked on the words. “She’s so sad about Mommy, and now she’s double-sad about you. I told her, don’t go when she’s double-sad!”

“Maybe it’s her battery. Hang up, and tell Grandma you called. I’ll call Thea Arti, okay?”

“Okay. Okay. It’s the day, Ellie. The day,” he muttered as he hung up.

Heart hammering, she bolted for the front door, dialing Arti as she went. The first call went unanswered, as did the second. She flung herself into her car and started the engine before trying a third time.

“Ellie—”

“We can’t get Olivia on her phone. Have you heard from her?”

“I saw her on Wednesday. Why?”

“Ben called. Today’s the anniversary, isn’t it? Of the accident?”

Arti took a sharp inhale. “Yes.”

“Does Olivia go somewhere special?”

“I don’t know.”

“What do you mean? You have to know!”

“Every year, she goes off by herself, but she’s never said where. The rule is no calls unless Ben’s in the hospital. Oh my God, he’s not, is he?”

“No, but he called me freaking out because Olivia promised to call by three and didn’t.”

“Fuck me.” The quaver in Arti’s voice drove a spike of fear through her.

“Arti! Tell me something. Anything!” Ellie pounded the wheel.

“We need to think. Where would she go?”

“How the hell should I know?” For the hundredth time this week, she cursed herself for not barging back into Olivia’s house Monday night.

“I remember at the one-year mark, she said she needed space to reflect on the accident and what she was going to do now that Sophia was gone.”

Beyond the dashboard, a decorative stone bridge spanned the middle of TTC’s garden. “Where was the accident?”

“West on twenty, out by TTC, but farther. Her mom would know the exact spot.”

“I’ll head that way. Check with Alice, text me the name of the river or anything else that would help. Ben’s right to be freaked out because she didn’t call?”

“Oh, he’s more than right. Olivia wouldn’t say it if she didn’t mean it.”

“Do you think she’d say it as a cue to start searching if she’d…” Ellie dropped her voice as if speaking too loudly would make it true.

“She wouldn’t…Ben…fuck. Call me when you find her.”