Three Women at the End of the World

Editor’s note: The five scenes published here are much of what survive from an unfinished play Anne was working on in her last years, Three Women at the End of the World. The title was provisional: in a note to herself, she wrote “Perhaps this is the only play – the one woman – perhaps it’s the middle one of three plays. I don’t know yet.” The following scenes were intended to be performed in water – somehow. Anne also noted, “During the whole play distant shelling and bombing can be heard.”

At the suggestion of Tom Bentley (who directed her play Z in 1994 for Twenty Fifth Street Theatre in Saskatoon, and who was working with Anne on this new project) I have chosen not to publish a few other scenes, set in a small house in a bombarded city. She wrote elaborate stage directions to introduce those scenes but the dialogue is, in Bentley’s words, “not far enough along to represent Anne’s skill in a good light.” The scenes in the hut have two main characters, a man named Tek and a woman named Amina. Their relationship to the watery pair of Payly and Mako is uncertain.

The connection between the two adult pairs was probably to be established by other scenes involving Amy, a girl of eleven, and Ronny, her younger brother. They are the children of Tek and Amina, but (like Payly and Mako) they take to the water. One of the scenes printed here is a monologue spoken by Amy in a boat, while Ronny sleeps. The other four scenes are dialogues between Payly and Mako.

One final disclaimer: the scenes appear now in the order Anne left them. This does not necessarily mean they would have been performed in this order.

A stretch of water.

Payly (M) and Mako (F).

It’s dark. Noises of scuffling

Mako – No shoving.

Payly – No pinching. We agreed no pinching.

Mako – No shoving.

Payly – No pinching Mako my dear.

Mako – No endearments. Shove off.

Payly – (bitterly) Darling darling darling. Give me a break.

Mako – I’m broken already.

Payly – You’re broken? What about me. I’m more broken than you are.

Mako – No one is more broken than I am.

Payly – What makes you think you are so special, so specially broken. You always have to be somebody special. More splendid, more brilliant, more broken. Prove it.

Mako – Your death and mine, that’s the proof. I’m more dead than you are.

Payly – My what.

Mako – Your death. The last one.

Payly – There is never a last death. Only a first one.

Mako – First or last, you are not denying that we are dead.

Payly – Most people are dead.

Mako – That’s not true. The latest statistics show that more people are alive today than all the people who have died since the beginning.

Payly – (morally) Statistics are fools. You can torture them just like you can torture people and make them say what you want. And anyway, what beginning.

Mako – The beginning of the Regime. The great Caretaker, whatever you want to call Her.

Payly – Him.

Mako – Her. I think of it as Her.

Payly – Let’s stick with It. Remember how we hated It?

Mako – But we got used to it – It. We got used to torturing people, being tortured.

Payly – Haunting people. Following them to their deaths. What does that mean after all?

Mako – Taking away.

Payly – Giving back.

Mako – Taking away again.

Payly – Nothing new under the moon.

During the foregoing it has gradually become lighter and is now grey.

They take turns jumping up out of the water (or they have found a shell and are using it as an oracle).

Payly – (changes his eye for his mouth, calls out) Who’s there. Yoo hoo. Yoo hoo. (changing his mouth for his ear)

Mako – Hear anything?

Payly – Just a soft rushing sound. Shhhhh ... Could be somebody breathing.

Mako – Breathing? They’ve gone away long ago.

Payly – Long, long ago. Lost, washed up somewhere, stranded.

Payly – As so many are. The State will take care of them of course.

Mako – There are places for them.

Payly – Places? What places?

Mako – Houses. Houses with rooms and tables and chairs and beds and blankets and warps and wefts and bread and cheese and even sometimes pets.

Payly – I had a pet once, a goldfish.

Mako – A goldfish is not a pet. You can’t pet it.

Payly – You can take care of it. Feed it. Change the water.

Mako – You have to be careful with that.

Payly – What do you mean?

Mako – Tapwater can kill a goldfish.

Payly – And a dead goldfish is nothing. It’s not even edible.

Mako – If you were hungry enough. I met a fellow once ate a dead rat. Never mind a goldfish.

Payly – Like the dream I dreamed last night, Mako. I dreamed of you.

Mako – Why would you do that? I’m right here by your side. You don’t have to dream of me. I’m here.

Payly – You’re not. You’re dead. You’ve been dead for some time.

Mako – Like the goldfish. Do goldfish dream, I wonder.

Payly – And if they did, would they dream of us Mako my dear.

Mako – Would they dream of us? They could dream we were goldfish swimming in a bowl being watched by other goldfish swimming in other bowls. Yes that’s what they were dreaming. I’m sure of it. –

Payly – How can anybody be watching us, it’s dark in here.

Mako – Darkness is no protection from prying eyes.

Payly – And ears. Hark, the Caretaker is saying. Hark, I hear the song of the goldfish in his dish.

Mako – Your goldfish lives in a dish.

Payly – On a dish, he’s cooked and served up. Just like a person, just like any of us. Miserable just like you and me.

Mako – We made a mistake.

Payly – We thought it was for the best.

Mako – We were wrong.

Payly – Like with the goldfish, if we had treated him right he’d still be alive

Mako – and swimming

Payly – and swimming around and around and around.

Mako – Spiralling down I saw an eye. A woman’s eye.

Payly – How could you tell it was a woman’s eye. Just from the eye. How could you possibly tell. Fishes have eyes too you know.

Mako – It was blue.

Payly – Haven’t you heard of Mama’s blue-eyed boy?

Mako – It was female. It had that hesitant motherly look that women have when they are afraid.

Payly – So women are afraid?

Mako – Always.

Payly – Always?

Mako – You’ve noticed that. Women are always afraid.

Payly – Crying. Hugging themselves. Complaining that their feet are cold.

Mako – They are.

Payly – What?

Mako – They are cold. My feet are cold.

Payly – Here. I’ll warm them for you.

She takes off her shoe, balances on one foot. Sticks out the other. Payly rubs her foot vigorously. He pulls it up too high. She falls down on her bum.

Payly – Better?

Mako – I fell over.

Payly – So?

Mako – So how can that be better. I hurt myself. You hurt me.

Payly – You didn’t cry.

Mako – Of course not. I’m a woman, not a baby.

Payly – Sorry. Give me the other foot.

She thrusts out her other foot and kicks him in the groin.

Payly – (lets forth a string of oaths)

Mako – Oh oh ... So that hurt, did it. Diddums?

Payly – (crying) It bloody hurts. It bloody hurts.

Mako – You’re crying.

Payly – You hurt me.

Mako – You’re crying like a baby.

Payly – Oh – oh – oh –

Mako – You are a baby. Here. (She sits up and takes him in her arms and cradles him.)

Mako – Better?

Payly – (sniffing) A bit.

Mako – (kisses him) Only a bit? You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?

Payly – Aren’t you?

Mako – Well, I’m a woman.

Payly – What does that mean?

Mako – What do you think?

Payly – That you’re treacherous. That you like hurting people.

Mako – By people I suppose you mean men?

Payly – I mean a particular man. I mean me.

Mako – You hurt me first.

Payly – Is that why you’re crying. (Which she is. He laughs.)

Mako – You know why I’m crying.

Payly – The usual.

Mako – The usual.

Payly – It won’t go away. (He is blotting her tears with his handkerchief.)

Mako – It wasn’t our fault.

Payly – (drawing away from her) Of course it was our fault.

Mako – Your fault. What you did.

Payly – They made me. They made me do it.

Mako – Did they bribe you? Tell me that.

Payly – No.

Mako – Did they trick you? Tell me that.

Payly – (hangdog) Not exactly.

Mako – Then what, what, what?

Payly – You know what.

Mako – I want to hear you say it.

Payly – I never will.

Mako – You have to.

Payly – No.

Mako – Killing goldfish is one thing. Eating goldfish. What about...?

Payly – We were starving. They were starving. When you’re starving you’ll eat anything.

Mako – Anything?

Payly – Almost anything. And you’ll do almost anything to get it.

Mako – Four lousy turnips.

Payly – And three of them had worms in.

Mako – We ate those too.

Payly – Protein.

Mako – Oh God.

Payly – Oh food. Well that was the last of it. The very last. Goodbye to the turnips.

Mako – And that wasn’t all you said goodbye to.

Payly – So now it’s my fault. You ate the turnips too.

Mako – You ate more than I did.

Payly – I’m bigger than you.

Mako – And stupider.

Payly – And stronger.

Mako – You signed.

Payly – So did you.

Mako – Only after ...

Payly – After what?

Mako – You twisted my arm.

Payly – You gave in.

Mako – You hurt me. You hurt me. You hurt me.

~~~

Another bit. Mako and Payly in the water.

Mako – Remember

Payly – What?

Mako – Remember

Payly – What?

Mako – Remember

Payly – O for God’s sake...

Mako – Not that.

Payly – What then?

Mako – What was

Payly – When?

Mako – Before.

Payly – Before?

Mako – The time of the hills

Payly – And the grass

Mako – And the trees

Payly – And the birds

Mako – We still have them – the birds.

Payly – One perched on your head, remember?

Mako – How could I forget. It took me ages to wash my hair.

Payly – One dunk. That can hardly be described as ages.

Mako – You dunked me.

Payly – I had to. You were chicken.

Mako – Chicken. Those were birds too.

Payly – You could eat them. Fried with chips. Remember

Mako – Better to forget.

Payly – What’s gone is gone.

Mako – They’ve gone.

Mako – Long ago.

Payly – How long?

Mako – Ages.

Payly – A year?

Mako – More.

Payly – More than a year.

Mako – We let them go.

Payly – We waved them goodbye.

Mako – You cried.

Payly – You laughed.

Mako – It was funny.

Payly – How could it be funny?

Mako – Anything can be funny if you look at it the right way. Anything.

Payly – Not quite anything. Some things are sad.

Mako – Like you. You’re a sad sad Sally

And I wish you were more pally

Payly – You’re not going to start that again. That rhyming thing. I won’t play. I won’t.

Mako – Yes you will. It’s a good game

All the same

Payly – You’re to blame. It was your idea to let them go. You’re to blame.

Mako – I knew you would I knew you could Join in the game.

Payly – And the green grass grew around around around

Mako – And the green grass grew around

Payly – Long ago

Mako – Not that long.

Payly – Once upon a time

Mako – Aha, now you want me to join in your game.

Payly – My game. What do you mean my game?

Mako – Once upon a time – the story game.

Payly – It’s not a game. Stories embody truth. That’s why they’re called stories.

Mako – You’ve got to be kidding.

Payly – That’s where the story began.

Mako – Forget it. I tell you. Forget it. Forget it. Forget it.

Payly – Forget them, you mean.

Mako – Yes Payly, yes, yes, yes.

Payly – Once upon a time

Mako – No. I’m not listening.

Payly – Yes you are. You can’t help yourself. You want to find out what happened next.

Mako – Nothing happened next.

Payly – Yes it did, we...

Mako – No we didn’t.

Payly – Yes we did. We...

Mako – We did then. What next? What happens next? Get on with it. What happens next? What? Do we stay? Do we leave? You storytellers think you know everything, so tell me. I’m listening ...

Payly – You’re listening. That’s something new. You never did that before.

Mako – I’m listening. Go on with the story. What happens next? How do we...

Payly – We don’t.

Mako – O God. What then. Something must happen. Something must be resolved.

Payly – There’s no resolution.

Mako – There has to be. Stories always resolve themselves.

Payly – Not this one.

~~~

Another scene. Amy sitting in the boat. It’s not obvious that Ronny is in the boat too, asleep in the bottom.

Amy – (Fishes something out of the water with her hand) I don’t care what they say, I’m brave. Because I can save things. (She has saved a fish. It’s dead.) But that could mean I’m careful, not brave. A saving person like my aunt – Aunt What’shername? It’s so long since I saw her I’ve forgotten her name. If I liked her better I’d have remembered. Guess guess – Aunt Judy? Auntie Ramona? Tante Evelina? Perhaps I really never had one and I just made them up, because I believe in what’s right and people should have aunts. They’re supposed to give you presents of things you don’t really want, and then you have to write and thank them – Dear Aunt Whatever, Thank you so much for the bubble bath. I love it, it smells of buttercups – and then they have to say your handwriting has improved a great deal since last year and then they ask you over, and you have to go because it was kind of them to ask you. And they teach you how to crochet lace and you get the tiny hook caught in your finger and they have to take you to the doctor to get the bloody thing out and they tell you don’t say bloody but it is.

That’s what happens when they ask you over. Over what? Evie ivie over. Evie Ivie, Evie Ivie over the sea to… Over the mountains, over the plain… And so there were aunts. And the mountains didn’t interfere with the aunts if the aunts promised not to disapprove of the mountains. If I had to choose between mountains and aunts? Aunt Ramona smelled of peppermints. Aunt Judy rode over the hills on a black stallion. Auntie Evelina – I mean Tante, she got mad if I called her Auntie – Tante Evelina swallowed a stick of macaroni. Swallowed a walking stick with a silver handle. It stuck in her throat for ever. Ever after she couldn’t say anything but “nein Liebchen, nein.” She smelled of…? She smelled of…? If I shut my eyes and sniff ah ah ah she smelled of mothballs and aniseed.

What is aniseed? It’s that one seed you find at the heart of things. If you suck all the sugar away you’ll get to it in the end. Suck suck. Take it out and look. It’s blue. Suck suck. Take it out and look. It’s green. Suck suck. It’s pink, then it’s yellow, then it’s purple. All you have to do is suck and look. And then at last it’s red and you know you’re coming to the end. Then you suck faster and faster and then slowly slowly and take it out after every suck and wait for it to dry, then try again and in the end there it is, the seed and it’s hot and it tastes of ... it only tastes of itself after all. That’s like everything in the whole world, in the end everything ends up as small as a little brown seed. Or was it grey? Or is it black? After all those bright colours you can hardly tell. You can hardly see it. But you can taste it. You can feel it on your tongue. Then you spit it out because in the end you don’t want it. Who wants a seed burning a little hole in your tongue.

You couldn’t care less. All you want is to go home. But you’ve forgotten where that is. How to get there. Look – Look a bird is flying. Three birds are flying. They’re flying away home. And look a cloud is moving across the sky. And you know it’s getting ready to rain on the place it’s going to and it’s probably your house. And it’s probably your garden. And you say one day I’ll go home. But there’s no such place. And if there was? I tell you if you’re sucking choose a colour and stop there. Take it out at green, say, and be happy with that. Take it out before everything goes red and you can’t stop. You can’t stop yourself trying to find that seed. That dead seed at the beginning. They boiled it when they made the candy. Right there in the candy factory they boiled the seed dead as a dead fish.

~~~

Another scene in the water with Payly and Mako.

Payly – (Swims towards Mako) I’ve thought about it.

Mako – What?

Payly – You know. What we talked about.

Mako – When?

Payly – You know.

Mako – No I don’t. When did we?

Payly – What?

Mako – Talk about it.

Payly – What do you mean It.

Mako – What you said. What you meant.

Payly – I didn’t say anything about meaning.

Mako – What you said. What you said you thought about.

Payly – Oh, that.

Mako – Yes.

Payly – I can’t get it out of my mind.

Mako – Do you mean it or do you mean them?

Payly – So now we’re back to meaning.

Mako – Yes.

Payly – Them, of course. Them them them.

Mako – It was to save them.

Payly – From the deep. From the inevitable.

Mako – Nothing is inevitable.

Payly – You believe that?

Mako – Everything can change. From moment to moment everything changes. The tide comes in. The tide goes out. There’s a dead calm then a gale.

Payly – The wind...

Mako – Yes the wind. Haven’t you noticed?

Payly – What do you mean?

Mako – It changes. You can’t trust it.

Payly – If you can’t trust the wind, who can you trust?

Mako – Hold up your finger.

Payly – Like this?

Mako – That’ll do.

Payly – Now what?

Mako – You can feel the wind blow on it. It blows cool and drying.

Payly – I see what you mean.

Mako – Now the other hand. Another finger.

Payly – You’re right. It’s blowing the other way. You can’t trust it. I’ll never trust it again.

Mako – If you can’t trust the wind...

Payly – Who can you trust? Certainly not yourself. Certainly not one another. There’s prevaricating. There’s lying. There’s lying in wait. There’s betrayal. Anybody can be a traitor, even the one you loved. The one you used to trust. The one you used to trust with your life.

Mako – Your husband. Your wife.

Payly – There you go. Making a game of it. Playing your rhyming game.

Mako – All the same

Payly – We’re to blame. We can’t get away from that.

She turns her back and moves away. He, after a pause, does the same.When she is out of sight he turns and pursues her offstage. However she appears at the other side of the stage.She’s swimming on her back like a sea otter, holding something on her belly.

Mako – You little darling. You little wet thing. You tiny wet thing. Well I found you. I rescued you and you are mine and you are a talisman. What’s a talisman? Just a word I rescued from a book, just something I found in the water. The word. The first word the last word. Torn from a book, a mind. What does it matter. The word became (She lifts up the egg she is holding) this. I suppose it could be hatched. But I’m not a bird. I suppose it could be eaten. But I’m not such a fool. If I ate it I wouldn’t have it. It would be gone and bits of its shell scattered on the water. Floating away on the waves and I’d be alone again. I wanted something of my own and this is what I found. I love it and that’s that. There goes Payly looking for drowned cities, lost churches whose bells toll under water at midnight. You believe in that? I don’t. I believe in what I can hold. This I can hold.

~~~

Another time. Another part of the whole.

Payly is mending his fishnets when Mako floats on by still singing to herself. He catches her in his net. She struggles trying to get free.

Payly – Gotcha.

Mako – No you haven’t. You just think you have.

Payly – Admit it. I gotcha. I caught you fair and square. Now you’re mine.

Mako – Let me out of this – this...

Payly – Fish net.

Mako – Mesh of lies and deceit.

Payly – What d’you mean?

Mako – You underhanded mean...

Payly – What could be more honest than a net? Anybody can see through it.

Mako – (still struggling) Get me out.

Payly – It’s a fish net and you’re a fish. A big fish. A beautiful fish.

Mako – No.

Payly – Admit it. You are a fish and I have caught you – in my net.

Mako – NO.

Payly – No what? You are not a fish or I haven’t caught you?

Mako – Oh you’ve caught me alright. But not in this net. This net is just string and ingenuity. There has to be something more than that. To be caught. To be caught up in...

She takes a knife and begins to cut the strings of the net.

Payly – Stop. I’ll let you out. It took me days and days to make that net.

Mako – And all you caught is me. You were after something more...

Payly – Edible. Delectable.

Mako – Desirable? There are more fish in the sea than...is that it?

Payly – Perhaps.

Mako – And there are more things to knives than cutting nets.

Payly – You wouldn’t.

Mako – You want to bet on it?

Payly – Not really.

Mako – Well untangle me then. Or I will be your last catch. Your last...

He untangles her slowly, lingering over her hair, her breasts and so on. Meanwhile they carry on their conversation.

Mako – Hurry up. I’m not going to hang about all day.

Payly – I’ve always loved your hair. So fair. So stringy. So draggly.

Mako – What do you mean?

Payly – So beautiful.

Mako – That’s better. And?

Payly – Wavy, like kelp.

Mako – Like kelp. Seaweed?

Payly – Algae.

Mako – Slimy you mean?

Payly – Silky.

Mako – That’s better. That’s what they all say.

Payly – Who?

Mako – The men.

Payly – What men? I don’t see any men.

Mako – Well if there were any that’s what they would say.

Payly – You women are all alike. Fishing for compliments.

Mako – What compliments? What women for that matter.

Payly – All women. All of you ladies.

Mako – What ladies? I don’t see any.

Payly – There must be a place...

Mako – ...full of handsome young men, with muscular arms and bronzed backs with...

Payly – ...full of beautiful women with...

Mako – …legs like tree-trunks and eyes...

Payly – ... bosoms like boulders and...

Mako – ...like golden agates. And they...

Payly – ...thighs like tree-trunks.

Mako – Hey. That was my line.

Payly – No, mine.

Payly skilfully draws her in on the last strand of the net and kisses her. They fall laughing beneath the water.