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The bell tinkled over the door to Bitter Beans and a guy dressed in black from head-to-toe carrying a heavy, black shoulder bag came wandering in. His straight hair was the flat black you get out of an off-the-shelf dye box. He was a little older than me and had the eerie paleness of a person who basks too long in the rays of a computer flicking screen rather than those who step outside when the sun is up.
He sauntered over to the counter and barked, "Do you have WiFi?"
"We do," I replied.
There was a tone to his voice that made everything seem more like an accusation than a question. "And there's only the two ferries, right? One in the morning, one at night?"
"We're in the slow season," I explained, "but on the weekends, we'll have two in the morning, two at night."
That was one of the big wins that Nate had managed to secure with the transportation authority. We had heard one of the things keeping people from visiting our island more was that if they came over at night, they were stuck until the morning. Now, that was fine and dandy if you lived here and commuted to the mainland for work, but it wasn't very helpful if you were trying to build a tourism industry.
He rolled his eyes. "Great. So, I'm stuck here until 6:00 PM. Do I need to like, buy something to hang out here or what?"
I took a deep breath. "You are welcome to stay for as long as you would like," I informed him, trying to keep my hostess-with-the-mostest demeanor. "But we do appreciate a purchase."
"Greeeeat," he said resentfully, pulling some coins out of his front pocket and counting them on his palm. "I'd like just a small drip coffee. And do you do free refills?"
I realized I was going to have to come down hard with some boundaries. "First refill is free, second refill is a dollar."
He shook his head like I was committing highway robbery as he handed over the exact change.
"And what are you here for?" I asked him as I rang him up and grabbed his paper cup. Hopefully, he'd decide to make this to-go.
"Some guy named Johnny in need of some ghost hunters," he replied, casually leaning on the counter, as if to make sure I was in the presence of a celebrity. "I'm here for the interview and to maybe start up some tours."
"Ah!" I replied, trying not to sound surprised.
So, Johnny is a mystery. Just when you think he's a total goof, it turns out he was on top of everything and in the span of 48-hours, had put out the word to start interviews and begin hiring people.
But speaking of the surfer, in Johnny popped, his tousled, sun-bleached locks bouncing as he loped into the room. He walked up to the counter. "My man! You came!"
The ghost hunter was a little thrown as Johnny gave him a handshake and a fist pump half-hug.
"I'm sorry...?" he said, not sure who this stranger assaulting him was.
"I'm Johnny!" Johnny replied, like he was a Christmas gift he was presenting.
"Oh! Right!" said the ghost hunter, now behaving a little more politely, but he was still a prick. "I'm Echo."
"DUDE! Echo! Like the Grand Canyon."
"Like the call sign," the ghost hunter primly informed him.
"Rad," said Johnny. "So, listen, I've got all the local legends and ghost stories up here in my noggin—"
But as Johnny tapped his temples, Echo stopped him, almost insulted. "Sorry. While that is informative, I would prefer to find the REAL ghosts myself."
"There aren't any real ghosts," I said. "You're here to be a tourist attraction."
He gave me a dirty glance. "I'm sorry. I don't think you are aware of what I do. I'm a professional ghost hunter, not like the amateurs who show up to do carnival tricks like SOME hunters. I'm not a charlatan." He folded his arms, as if waiting for an apology.
"Cool!" said Johnny, totally onboard. "Ghosts are real and I don't even have to tell you anything! SCORE! Alright. Since you save me some brain power, I'm buying! Did you order?"
"I got a coffee," he stated sourly. I think he was mad his decision to cheap out turned around and bit him.
"Paige, hook him up with one of your cinnamon rolls. On me! You're going to love them, Echo. Then we can sit down and hash out a plan. Go save us a table!" Johnny added, motioning to the almost empty café. "That bag looks heavy."
The promise of breakfast seemed to make Echo a little happier about life as he headed over to a spot by the window. Maybe he was just hangry. He gave Captain a little scratch behind the ears, which tended to indicate while the dude might be a social dud, he might not be a completely terrible person.
"Did you know cats can see ghosts?" he called out to Johnny.
"DUDE! No way!" Johnny replied. He turned back to me as he took out a wad of cash. "I gotta get me a cat."
I leaned across the counter. "So, what's going on?"
Johnny was so excited. "Okay. So, dude. Paige. Like, I got to thinking about this whole thing and how I could be competitive in a niche market like Seaside."
"Have you been Googling marketing jargon again?" I asked.
"Totally. So, I was analyzing my competition." He stopped, just to make sure I was keeping up. "Madison. She's the competition. So I started thinking, what differentiates our two companies? I mean, we both have blond hair. It's easy to get us confused."
I let it slide. Sometimes it is important to let Johnny keep speaking when he's on a roll.
"And we both have this great plan that good for the season. Both know how to talk to people."
"I think you may have a leg up on that."
"Thank you," he said with an acknowledging nod. "But it wasn't enough. So then I thought, I gotta go with expertise. So, I brought the dude!" He motioned to Echo, who was unloading his bag.
"So... what does this 'dude' bring to the table?" I asked.
"You mean other than what he's putting on the table?"
I looked over. He had pulled out a black box with a big antenna. Echo pressed a button and a bunch of green lights lit up. It seemed like he was checking in with Captain to see where the cat was staring, and then pointed the box in that direction.
"He has this ghost hunting machine," said Johnny, conspiringly. "He doesn't just tell the ghost stories, he can show you on his radio computer thingies when you walked through a ghost or something. I mean... can you even wrap your brain around it?" He made an explosion sound and staggered back, showing me how much everyone's mind was going to be blown.
But the only thing about to be blown was Johnny's great plan because suddenly the bell tinkled again.
"Aw, crap," said Johnny. "The competition."
Madison tottered in, staring at Echo like she had no idea why we were letting riffraff like that onto our shores. All the green lights turned red on Echo's box. Made me wonder if it was more in tune with detecting evil.
She came up to the counter. "Um... excuse me. Who is he? And why is he here instead of Trevor's saloon? Are you stealing our customers?"
Madison has a way of pushing my buttons, but before I could launch into how everyone was welcome at Bitter Beans and Echo was free to park himself and mooch off whatever complimentary offerings I was thinking about providing, Johnny decided to go stick his flip-flop encased foot in his own mouth.
"He's my ghost hunter!" he exclaimed.
Madison's eyes narrowed. "Um... excuse me?"
Johnny leaned his elbows against the counter. "Yeah. I thought you had a really great idea with the ghost tours. Congrats! And Trevor pointed out that he and me have a lot in common and that it might be something I should think about. So, I thought. And decided we needed more ghost hunters and I could do some tours, too! Thanks for being such an inspiration, Madison."
"EXCUSE ME?? You STOLE my idea?" Madison shrieked, her voice escalating with each word.
"Dude! Dude! Calm down!" said Johnny, mystified by her reaction. "There's room enough on this island for two tours. Competition makes for a better consumer experience. Monopolies are illegal and, I dunno about you, I don't want The Man coming and hauling you away for owning the market share." He lowered his voice. "Don't start up a ghost cartel."
"I... I..." Madison was so mad, she couldn't even speak. She clenched her fists at her side and spat. "Well, you want a little competition? I'll SHOW you some competition, Johnny." She pointed a finger at Echo, who was staring at her like she had grown two heads. "You and your little friend are going DOWN. DOWN I SAY!"
And then she spun on her high heels and stormed out of Bitter Beans.
Echo looked down at his box before turning to Johnny and me. All the lights were gone. "I don't know what to say, but that woman's energy is enough to scare away the dead."