The prayer of a righteous [wife] is powerful and effective.
JAMES 5:16
You’ve probably prayed these words before, Dear Lord, bless my husband. I certainly have said these words year after year at bedtime or whenever James crosses my mind. While this is good, I wonder if there’s a more purposeful and powerful way to pray for my husband. Prayer can be intimidating to many of us. What if we don’t say the right words? Does God really work through our prayers? When are you supposed to fit in the time to pray anyway?
Prayer can seem like a sacred, secret activity reserved for specially gifted intercessors or grandmas with gobs of time on their hands. But that is a terrible misconception. A meaningful prayer life is available to every age group and every wife, so that includes you.
The Positive Side of Desperation
When you are busy (and who isn’t?), you must be purposeful about prayer or it just doesn’t happen. Kathi Lipp has some encouraging words about getting started:
I have to do the kindergarten version of prayer. I need to give myself reminders, so I put Post-it notes around me. When Roger is in crisis, it’s easy to know specifically how to pray for him. It’s when he’s not in crisis that I have to be diligent and say, You know what, he needs my prayers whether I think he needs them or not. He’s a different guy when I’m praying for him. He walks more confidently. He is bolder at work when he needs to be. He’s more patient. It’s not a coincidence. Often he will say, “I know you’re praying for me. I knew you had my back.” It makes me feel like I can be that supportive wife that I really desire to be.21
I have a feeling you want to be that prayerful, supportive wife that makes your husband stand taller and live bolder. When I interviewed John Fuller for 31 Days to a Happy Husband, he talked about the strength he received from knowing his wife, Dena, was praying for him. John and Dena have six kids and their youngest has autism. I asked Dena how she found the time to pray in the midst of a hectic family schedule. She told me the quick answer was “desperation!”
When you’re going through difficult times, you quickly realize you can’t do everything in your own power. Dena sees throughout Scripture that suffering is a part of life. There is something inherent about problems and crises that brings us to our knees. Dena shares,
I sometimes wonder what kind of Christian I would be if hardship and trials did not come into my home. By nature as human beings, we cruise when things go along well. I wish that were not so. I do think that suffering of any kind will help us become more fervent in prayer. A lot of my prayers are just tears before God. I have begged with God, I’ve bargained with God, I’ve pleaded with God, you name it. I don’t think there’s this correct way to pray and that I have to have all the words right. Pouring my heart out before God is a form of prayer. I often ask God to show me how to pray. Could You give me clarity, Lord, so I can pray in line with Your will and not just what I want?
Dena enjoys reading books on prayer to encourage her to grow in this essential area as a wife. Her prayers for John have helped her have a more gracious and warm attitude toward him.
When you begin to pray for someone, you start to see the struggles they are going through and how difficult that must be. And then all of a sudden you feel more compassionate instead of seeing what you wished was changed. I wish he wouldn’t travel so much or I wish he could get home earlier. You start to see things from his point of view.
John just traveled yesterday and he was exhausted. This was not a pleasure trip for him. I think praying for him helps me ask God, What would You have me pray for him? I see some areas where I think he really needs God, but I might be missing the boat. He might have something else entirely different that he needs me to be praying for.
Years ago, when John was offered the position of cohost for the national radio program Focus on the Family, Dena felt fear. A more private person, she had pictured a more anonymous life of service for their family.
We had quite a lot of talks and walks and prayer. In that season together praying for the decision, God gave me an assurance that this was not about John and it wasn’t about me. It was about God’s purposes. The Lord said, You have to put this in My hands. That’s not a life of faith to pull back in fear. That was a time when praying for the decision really melded John and me with each other and with God.22
John’s trusted voice has been heard on the radio around the world because of what was confirmed in Dena’s heart through prayer. When you don’t know what to do at the fork in the road, pray. And don’t forget when all is calm and bright, that’s the ideal time to pray too.
Not Talent But Tenacity
I don’t know much about sports, but I do know that MVP stands for Most Valuable Player. MVPs don’t only have natural talent; they are driven, patient, disciplined, and tenacious. May I give you a new title to wear proudly? You are the MVP—Most Valuable Prayer—in your marriage (so is your husband, but this is a book for us wives). If you want to bring your family team to victory, you will accomplish the greatest gains through prayer.
Stormie Omartian, author of The Power of a Praying Wife, says there’s so much at stake if we don’t pray.
Can you imagine praying for the right side of your body and not the left? If the right side is not sustained and protected and it falls, it’s going to bring down the left side with it. The same is true of you and your husband. If you pray for yourself and not him, you will never find the blessings and fulfillment you want. What happens to him happens to you and you can’t get around it.23
The happy wife prays for her husband and lives in the confidence that God has it all under control. You don’t need talent to pray. You simply need tenacity. Don’t give up. Use the Word of God and like the psalmist cry,
I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
(Psalm 121:1-2)
Pick up the help line often because God is always waiting for your call.
Today’s Picture
Imagine you are receiving a trophy. The audience is clapping loudly for you. Your husband is seated in the front row, cheering like crazy. Engraved on the gold placard, it reads MVP: Most Valuable Prayer. It becomes one of your most prized possessions.
Today’s Prayer
Lord, I don’t want to trust in people or technology to fix my problems. I want to run to You. Like the disciples I cry out, “Lord, teach me to pray.” I want to be a prayer warrior for my husband, seeking Your protection, favor, and blessing in his life. I don’t want to pray only when I need something. I want to praise You daily and pray continually with thanksgiving and faith. Help my unbelief. May my prayers be in line with Your will. Make them powerful and effective in the name of Jesus, amen.