Therefore the LORD is waiting to show you mercy,
and is rising up to show you compassion,
for the LORD is a just God.
all who wait patiently for Him are happy.
ISAIAH 30:18 (HCSB)
This morning James put a pot of oatmeal on the stove and set the timer for six minutes. He told Ethan to turn off the stove when the timer beeped. I walked in the kitchen as it was beeping. Obediently, Ethan turned off the heat, but I could see the oatmeal needed some more fire. But I figured, James said to turn it off. We’ll just do that and see what happens. After all, last week I had ruined the oatmeal.
A few minutes later, James walked in the kitchen and said to me, “Why did you turn the oatmeal off? Can’t you see it needs to cook more?”
I overrode my common sense about the oatmeal, figuring I could blame James since he was the one who said to turn it off when the timer beeped. Sometimes there’s a tension between obeying our husband’s leadership and using common sense, isn’t there? And there’s also the hierarchy of listening to God’s voice above all. Cindi McMenamin sheds light on this important balance:
Because I married a pastor and a wonderful man, it was very easy to put him in the place of God and not realize it in my life. Hugh can’t possible meet all my needs. He can’t be the one who can fulfill me and give me my sense of purpose. He can’t meet every one of my emotional needs. I had to go to God first. I had to yield to God and see Him as my spiritual husband. My primary fulfillment and sustenance comes from the Lord. That took a huge weight off Hugh, and it also made me a happy wife. Suddenly I wasn’t putting that burden on my husband and I wasn’t that unfulfilled woman.4
Only God Can Carry You
Even more important than yielding to your husband is yielding to God. Are you able to submit yourself to God’s will even when His plan seems to be colliding with your own? Jesus Himself had to pray in the garden of Gethsemane, “My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine” (Matthew 26:39 NLT). Jesus yielded to His Father’s will even though it brought pain.
If you are a living, breathing human being, you have experienced suffering. It is an inevitable part of life. My darkest time came when I was twenty weeks pregnant with our second child. It was supposed to be a season of joy and anticipation. It was the day before Thanksgiving, and my in-laws had traveled across the country to celebrate with us. We were all crammed in an examination room, anxious to find out from the ultrasound if I was having a boy or a girl. The technician was strangely quiet and informed us at the end of the appointment that we were having a girl. We were ecstatic!
But our joy was short-lived. Later that day the telephone rang, and it was my doctor. “Arlene, I hate to tell you this, but your baby has serious chromosomal defects and she isn’t going to make it. She will probably die in the womb in the next few days. I’d really like you to go to the specialist today for a detailed ultrasound so you don’t have to go through the entire Thanksgiving weekend not knowing.”
Hours later, the specialist confirmed that our baby’s heart would stop beating within days, maybe one to two weeks at most. That Thanksgiving was the hardest one of our lives. I was experiencing a real-life practicum to see if I really could give thanks in all circumstances. I didn’t have to thank God for a sick baby, but I could thank Him that He was walking with me.
No matter what I did physically, I could not change the outcome of my baby’s health. Eating vegetables, getting extra sleep, or going for a walk would not help my baby. I could do nothing to control what was happening in my womb. Don’t we as women long for that control? And when we can’t control our circumstances, we worry. But worry doesn’t help either. It was trust that was going to get me through.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding.
(Proverbs 3:5)
Every week, I drove to the doctor’s office, crying out to God in the car. I prayed that God would heal my baby, take her home to heaven, or give us grace to care for a special-needs child. Week after week, that little baby’s heart kept beating. Week after week, I prayed, Your kingdom come, Your will be done.
I received the bad news the day before Thanksgiving, and on Christmas Day, I was still pregnant. I was thankful our baby was still with us for Christmas, but before the New Year came, that little girl slipped from my womb into eternity. I discovered in those hard days that when you live with your hand open to God instead of balled up in an angry fist, it’s much easier to find healing. I reached out to God in brokenness and asked Him to take my hand and lead me out of that dark valley—and He did.
We named our baby Angel Rose and had a memorial service for her at the beach to say good-bye. On her due date, April 7, I took a pregnancy test and it was positive! One Christmas, we were saying good-bye to Angel Rose. The very next Christmas, we were holding a healthy baby girl in our arms named Noelle Joy.
I couldn’t have engineered that story and happy ending. And I wouldn’t trade the lessons I learned about letting go of control and letting God lead the way.
When I let go of control
Allowing you to take the lead
I find rest for my weary soul
When I let go of control
Yielding to your will and ways
I find peace about my every need
When I let go of control
Putting your word to the test
I finally discover Father does know best
When you become friends with the idea that God is in control and Father really does know best, it allows you to free yourself of worry. My friend Chris Montgomery is a director of children’s ministries at a church. She blogged about being the queen of worry.
The antidote to worry is to pray with thanksgiving (Philippians 4:6-7). Granted, that doesn’t come easy to me. Worry? I’ve had lots of experience and I’m pretty good at it. Yet the illusion of control that it brings is just that, an illusion.
I have this mental picture that I combine with actual physical movement. I cup my hands, and picture them full of all those chaotic, unsettling emotions. Raising them to the Lord as an offering, I turn my hands upside down and consciously release all the stress and worry to Him. Finally, I raise my hands to Him, again cupping them, but this time it is so He can fill them with what He has for me instead.
Sweet tendrils of peace slowly wrap themselves around my anxious spirit. I give up worry and gain trust. I trade my anxiousness for His peace. It pleases God and allows me to sleep at night. Praise God, the queen has been dethroned.5
Let Father God take control of your life. There’s no need for you to worry and work night and day to engineer your life. Let go—God’s got you covered.
Today’s Picture
Cup your hands and picture them full of your worries and unsettling emotions. Raise them up to God as an offering, and then drop all those concerns at His feet. Cup your hands once again and ask God to fill you with His peace and wisdom.
Lord, I give You my anxiety and concerns. Your Word says to cast my cares on You because You care for me. Thank You for loving me and for knowing what I need even before I know myself. I trust in Your ways even when I don’t understand what is happening around me. I choose to place my hope in You. You are never changing and always able to meet every one of my needs and much more. Dear Father, take control of my life.