43. LIPSTICK SMILEY BUTT

Robin cracked a big yawn as he sat at one of the tables by the firepit, struggling to eat a giant breakfast bap filled with fried egg, thick-cut bacon and brown sauce.

He’d sat up until eleven, studying his dad’s Captain Cash security report, visiting his favourite hacker websites and gathering enough info to put together the outline of a robbery plan.

It was almost nine, but the camp was dead apart from little kids, a man cooking breakfasts to order and a couple of bored women who’d come off overnight security detail.

There were empty cans and bottles everywhere. One guy snored noisily in the spot where he’d passed out, and someone had pulled his jeans down and drawn a lipstick smiley face on his hairy butt cheek.

A metal door crashed as Marion emerged from the toilet block.

‘Wow, I feel better for that!’ she announced cheerfully, as she glanced about. ‘Did Flash get his ass out of bed yet?’

Robin nodded. ‘He said good morning and vanished into the bike shed.’

Marion poured coffee from a flask and put a ton of cream and sugar in. After a couple of mouthfuls, Flash rolled out of the shed on a whirring lime-green dirt bike.

‘Eco-Cross Warrior!’ Marion laughed, reading the logo on the bike frame as Flash pulled up in near silence. ‘It suits you.’

Flash looked like he’d had too good a time the night before, with gluey eyes and squashed curls.

‘Bikes should sound like thunder and have flames painted on them,’ Flash explained to Robin. ‘But electric bikes are almost silent, so they’re nifty for moving around the forest without tipping off every outlaw, Ranger and Castle Guard within half a kilometre.’

Flash used a spider strap to secure Robin’s bow and Marion’s backpack over the rear wheel. Since Marion had longer arms, she got to wrap herself around Flash’s waist and Robin became the meat in the sandwich, squashed between the two siblings with his head turned sideways to breathe.

Luckily there was only ten minutes riding a bumpy forest trail before they broke out onto a dirt road.

With two passengers and luggage, Flash drove sensibly, and the only other traffic was a motor-rickshaw straining to pull a trailer piled with illegally cut timber.

The final stretch towards Locksley was steeply uphill. Flash stopped at the edge of a small lookout area with spots for six cars. It had been built for its spectacular vista over the forest, but the picnic tables had rotted, the coin-operated binoculars were smashed and thieves had forced open the cashboxes.

‘Message me if you need a ride back,’ Flash said.

Marion had started checking maps on her phone and shook her head. ‘Thanks for the offer, but we’ll head to the mall after. Will’s upped security and says we’ll be safe.’

Flash nodded. ‘Don’t stick around after your lawyer meeting. There’s gonna be trouble in town tonight.’

Robin looked up curiously. ‘What kind of trouble?’

‘What do you think?’ Flash said, as if Robin was dumb. ‘Gisborne sent an army into Designer Outlets and broke the no-interference pact. And Castle Guards blew Sherwood Women’s Union off the map. They can’t pull stunts like that and expect Forest People to suck it up.’

‘We don’t want to start a war we can’t win,’ Marion said warily.

‘What’s Sherwood Women’s Union?’ Robin asked.

‘Best outlaws ever!’ Marion said fondly. ‘Imagine all-girl Brigands, with better hygiene and strong feminist principles.’

Flash laughed. ‘Pinning up stripy flags and saying you stand for something doesn’t automatically make you a good person. I dated this hot Union chick for a while, and believe me those ladies were ruthless.’