CHAPTER FIVE

ON YOUR BIKE!

Jonny pulled his bike out from the side of the house and wheeled it over to Mervyn, who stood waiting on the pavement.

‘You can have my bike,’ said Jonny. ‘I’ll use Ted’s. I’m the big brother now, after all.’

He went back for Ted’s bike. Now that he was standing next to it, it was obvious the bike was too big for him. But he wasn’t going to be put off.

‘Look and learn, Merv. You sit here, put your feet on the pedals and just push off …’

Jonny hopped on to Ted’s bike, wobbled a bit and began cruising down the pavement. Only then did he realise that his feet could barely reach the pedals.

‘Are you meant to wobble like that?’ Mervyn called. ‘Wow, you’re going very fast, Jonny! I like that shouty noise you’re making! Watch out for that creature in the way! Is it a seal? Mind the big green thing … Oh help, you crashed right into it. Is that fun, or … ? It looks slightly painful. Are you meant to do that? Hang on, you’re stuck …’

The creature Jonny had swerved to avoid was not a seal. It was Stanley. Or Fat Stanley, as Jonny and Ted called him. He was the overweight cat belonging to their neighbour, Mrs Algernon. By avoiding Stanley, Jonny had crashed straight into her hedge.

This was not good. Firstly, because Mrs Algernon took pride in the neatness of her hedge, but also because she was known for being grim and serious, so the chances of her finding Jonny’s crash at all funny were basically zero. Jonny had never seen her smile – ever! It was like she didn’t believe in smiling. By the time Mervyn caught up with him, Mrs Algernon had come out of her house. She looked properly miffed. Of course …

‘You’ve dented my privet,’ she said.

Jonny’s head and shoulders were still trapped in the hedge. Mervyn helped pull him out. Jonny fell backwards on to the pavement and tugged a handful of twigs out of his hair. ‘Sorry!’ he said, when he saw Mrs Algernon glowering.

‘Are you all right?’ Mervyn asked.

‘Think so,’ said Jonny. ‘I meant to do that. Absolutely! All part of the plan, you know?’

Mervyn looked confused.

‘All right, so the falling into the hedge bit wasn’t quite what I meant to do,’ said Jonny. He brushed some leaves off his sleeve.

‘It wasn’t completely my fault! I mean, the bike is way bigger than I realised, and then Stanley was there and I had to swerve to avoid him, and then the hedge was there and I had to …’ Jonny petered out. ‘OK, it was a disaster!’

Mervyn began to laugh. Then Jonny laughed too. Then both boys glanced at Mrs Algernon, whose face looked stern enough to split boulders. And that was it. The two boys collapsed into uncontrollable giggles while Mrs Algernon continued to glare at them, arms folded across her considerable bosom. Finally, Jonny pulled himself together.

‘Lucky your hedge was there,’ he said to Mrs Algernon. Her expression suggested she didn’t agree. ‘I’m teaching him to ride a bike,’ he added, pointing at Mervyn.

Mrs Algernon raised her eyebrows. ‘If you so much as look at my hedge again, let alone touch it, land in it, dent it or damage it in any way whatsoever, you will feel the full force of my fury,’ she said.

‘Sure thing, Mrs A,’ said Jonny, saluting and then wincing.

‘Are you hurt?’ Mervyn asked.

‘I’ll be fine, but thanks for asking. Ted, my old brother, would have really taken the mickey out of me if he’d just seen me fall into a hedge.’

‘Well, I’m not Ted,’ said Mervyn.

‘No,’ said Jonny, smiling. ‘You’re really not!’