CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

D IS FOR DOUBT

Jonny felt tired and rather flat as he plodded into school that morning. The discovery that Pete was not even Pete but Pip, and that Sibling Swap seemed to send along pretty much anyone to be his brother was crushing his mood. What had happened to the massive database of possible matches that the site had banged on about? What about the dedicated team of Swap operatives who worked 24/7 to find the best match for you? Best match? What a joke. So far, all Jonny’s brothers had been disasters in one way or another. Not a keeper among them. Perhaps Pete-Pip was right – the website was miles away from working smoothly!

Towards the end of the day Jonny had a new thought. It went like this:

Oh swear word.

He remembered there would probably be a new brother waiting for him when he got home, and rather than the usual flicker of excitement, he felt weary and a little nervous. He would have to get to know somebody new all over again and try to make being brothers work. This was starting to feel like eating soup with chopsticks – difficult and frustrating. None of the brothers Sibling Swap had sent him had worked out, despite Jonny’s efforts. What if he got sent another non-perfect match? Oh triple swear word with a big fat swear on top.

Then Jonny had another thought. A thought that made him gasp like he’d seen a unicorn on a skateboard or found a duckling in his pocket. The thought was how nice it would be to go home and find … not a new brother, but his original one: Ted. Not because Ted was great, but just because he knew what to expect with him. Ted would be slumped on the sofa, listening to a podcast. He would probably call Jonny a baby and send him out of the room. Jonny would probably blow him a raspberry and go get a biscuit. Simple! Jonny understood this kind of brother stuff. He’d been doing it all his life. It might not be fun or exciting, but it was familiar, comfy and predictable, like your favourite jumper. With these new siblings, though, he was navigating a whole new ocean of brotherly relations, without a map or compass or flask of reassuring hot chocolate.

Doubt was nibbling at his brain like a terrible zombie hamster of awfulness with very sharp teeth. By the time he began his walk home, Jonny had made up his mind. Enough is enough, he thought. I’ve had it. I’m done with sibling swapping for good. I don’t care how fun this new brother seems or what he looks like, he’s going back. This is over!

As he walked up the front path, Jonny noticed the living-room window had been repaired. He stood in front of it. He could see his reflection. Then his reflection waved.

He leaped backwards in shock.

His reflection reappeared at the front door.

‘Hello,’ said Jonny to the reflection.

‘Hi!’ said the reflection.

The two boys stood in stunned silence for a few seconds, before Jonny blurted, ‘Are we actually twins?’

‘We are so similar!’ said the boy.

And they were, right down to the same haircut and dark-brown eyes.

Then they burst out laughing – Jonny extra hard, because just a few seconds ago he was determined to send this brother back and put an end to sibling swapping. But now here he was, standing in front of a boy so similar to him, so exactly like him in every way, that he instantly forgot all that. Surely, finally, Sibling Swap had nailed it. Whoop! This had to be THE ONE!

‘So what do you like?’ Jonny asked as the two boys huddled around the kitchen table, eating Jaffa Cakes. ‘I like biking, computer games –’

‘Doughnuts and swimming!’ said the new brother. ‘I saw it all on the Sibling Swap form. That’s exactly what I like too!’

‘Cats or dogs?’ Jonny asked.

‘Dogs!’ said the new brother.

‘Pasta or potatoes?’

‘Pasta!’

‘Bath or shower?’

‘Neither!’

‘Correct!’ said Jonny. ‘You got all those right! We agree on everything. How about this – if you could have any super powers, what would they be?’

‘First, magic,’ said the new boy. ‘Then, the power to go invisible. Third, the power to –’

‘Melt marshmallows with laser beams that come out of your eyes?’ said Jonny.

‘EXACTLY!’ shouted the boy. ‘That’s totally my third power!’

‘Amazing!’ said Jonny. ‘You’re just like me! We’re so similar! Don’t leave me hanging!’

The new brother high-fived him and the two boys grinned at each other.

‘Oh heck, I don’t even know your name!’ Jonny blurted. ‘Sorry!’

‘Jonny,’ said the boy.

‘Yes?’ said Jonny.

‘No, my name is Jonny,’ said the boy.

‘Really?’ said Jonny. ‘Same as me?’

The other Jonny nodded.

‘How’s that going to work, then?’

‘Brilliantly!’ said the new brother. ‘It means there’s hardly anything to tell us apart. Not even our names! Imagine the adventures we can have if no one can spot the difference between us!’

‘Twice the fun!’ joked Jonny.

‘Or double the trouble!’ said his new brother, winking.

‘Can I give you a nickname, though?’ said Jonny. ‘Just for us to use? How about J2, like Jonny number two?’

The front door opened and closed. Jonny’s mum was home.

‘I can’t wait to introduce you to Mum,’ said Jonny. ‘When she sees how similar we are, it will blow her head off!’