CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

DOUBLE TROUBLE

This is not so epic, Jonny thought the next day, as he clung on to the shed in his garden, trying to prevent J2 from jumping off its roof. This is a disaster.

Let’s rewind.

Jonny had gone to school in the morning as usual, his PE kit and bag slung over his shoulder, and J2 promised to stay at home watching telly all day, just as Jonny had the day before. Near the school gates he caught up with his friends, Mya and Alex.

‘Morning!’ Jonny said. ‘Alex, why are you dressed as a fairy?’

‘You told me it was Dress as a Fairy Day today!’ said Alex.

‘I didn’t tell you anything!’ said Jonny.

‘You did, yesterday, at the end of school!’ said Alex. ‘My mum was up till midnight making this costume! Why is no one else wearing a fairy suit?’

‘Oh, by the way,’ said Mya, ‘this is from my dad.’ She passed Jonny a £10 note.

‘He’s really impressed by you raising funds to keep the teaspoon museum open in your gran’s village. Says he’d like to help.’

‘Teaspoon museum?’ Jonny spluttered. ‘I’ve never heard of a teaspoon museum in my gran’s village. My gran lives in a town, anyway …’

‘Really?’ said Mya, a grin bursting across her face. She snatched the £10 back. ‘Great! I’ll be having this, then!’

The bell went just as George ran into the playground. The two friends sat at their table in the classroom and Jonny got his pencil case out of his backpack. Inside, every pencil was chewed and every pen lid was chomped and mangled. Yuck!

‘Think that might have happened yesterday,’ whispered George. ‘You seemed a tiny bit more nervous than usual.’

‘Me? I wasn’t nervous. I wasn’t even …’ Jonny trailed off. He wasn’t even in school, was he? And George seemed to know it. He raised his eyebrows.

‘It’s OK, I get it,’ George whispered, and then winked. ‘You weren’t here, were you, Jonny? It was your new, almost identical brother, wasn’t it? Don’t worry, no one else guessed. No one except me. I knew, of course.’

‘You did?’ Jonny asked. ‘How?’

‘Well, you know, because I’m your best friend,’ said George. ‘It’s my job to know.’

When it was time for PE, Jonny pulled his kit from his bag. Only it wasn’t his kit. It was his panda onesie. The teacher made him wear it for rounders, all the same. His friends laughed and Jonny felt stupid. And also hot. Doing rounders in a panda onesie doesn’t work. As the class got changed, George explained how Jonny’s new lookie- likie brother had tried to climb a tree while wearing the PE kit, but was so hopeless at climbing that he’d got stuck hanging on a branch and had ripped the shorts and T-shirt.

‘He must have panicked and shoved the onesie in as a replacement for the ruined kit,’ said George.

Maybe, thought Jonny. And at the end of the day he raced home to find out. All these tales of fairy days and teaspoon museums, all this pencil-noshing and PE kit mucking-upness was the fault of one person.

‘J2!’ Jonny shouted as soon as he got home. ‘Why have you been telling fibs to my friends and messing about with my PE kit? And …’

J2 appeared at the top of the stairs, smiling.

‘I can explain!’ he said. ‘There were maybe one or two small issues yesterday which I maybe didn’t quite tell you about. The pencil-chewing … well, I was just a bit nervous! And the fairy day was just a joke. I didn’t think Alex would take it seriously.’

‘Well, Alex doesn’t have a great sense of humour,’ said Jonny.

‘What about the onesie?’ Jonny asked. ‘Mrs Flannery made me wear that for PE, and I was roasting!’

‘I ripped your PE kit,’ J2 said. ‘Sorry! I was trying to climb a tree. Showing off, I suppose. I wanted to impress your friends!’

‘But they’re supposed to be your friends already – no need to impress them. You’re supposed to be me, after all.’

‘Sorry,’ said J2. ‘I won’t be so nervous when I go in tomorrow. I can pull off this being you act, I know I can.’

‘I don’t know if you should go in as me tomorrow!’ said Jonny.

J2 looked a bit worried but didn’t say anything.

‘Well, let’s forget about it all for now,’ said Jonny. ‘How about I go to Charlie’s shop to get some sweets?’

‘Or we could just have a biscuit from the cupboard?’ said J2, looking … What was it? Guilty? Nervous? Jonny wasn’t quite sure. He ignored it and shook out his piggy bank and then ran off down the stairs, dreaming of bonbons.