Cam should’ve felt guilty ditching Erin and Dane with Ira’s ex and her boyfriend, but they had all seemed perfectly happy, watching a sappy holiday movie and playing Scrabble. Cam was sure Ray was cheating by distracting Rachael from the game board somehow but couldn’t figure out exactly what he was doing. Ray caught Cam watching him and winked mischievously.
The inky black water of the lake glistened under the full moon. The cloud cover was light for this time of year, and the moon seemed very close to the earth. Cam waited where the property met the dock, hunched into his jacket, while Ira finished saying goodbye to Rachael and Ray. They had a reprieve tomorrow but stern instructions to make themselves available Saturday and Sunday.
His thin jacket wasn’t enough to keep the cold at bay. Cam had heard the traditional Thanksgiving-weekend storm was scheduled for Sunday this year. Maybe they’d be forced to stay at the cabin.
He heard the crunch of gravel before strong arms circled his waist from behind. Ira rested his chin on Cam’s shoulder and sighed. Cam smiled and huddled back into his warmth.
“You need a warmer coat,” Ira grumped.
“I like what I’m wearing right now just fine.”
“You know what I mean,” Ira grumbled, his words tickling Cam’s ear. “Let’s go home.”
“Mmm,” Cam said. He wanted to go home, but he also liked where he was, Ira’s strength wrapped around him.
“I do, you know,” Ira turned Cam around to face him; strong, talented fingers grasped his chin. “I love you.”
Ira kissed Cam gently, reverently, before leaning back and looking him in the eye.
“Are you really okay?”
“I am, and I love you too.” As weird as it felt to say the words out loud, Cam knew he did love Ira. It wasn’t a crush or infatuation; what he felt for Ira was love.
His shift didn’t start until six Friday evening. He kept Ira in bed all day, not letting him get up until, if they waited any longer, Cam would be late. They had to work off all the Thanksgiving calories somehow, and there were a lot of ways to do that.
What was traditionally a slow shift, because normal people were spending time with their families and friends, ended up being a reasonably steady stream of customers. Cam was busy enough that he didn’t have a chance to give Marcus the third degree about him and Jacob. Although maybe Cam didn’t want to know what his coworker was getting up to with his lover’s son. He sighed. Skagit was too small for the amount of potential melodrama it held.
At about ten o’clock—Cam had just looked at the time, wanting to know how long it would be before he could be back in bed with Ira—Rod walked in. Cam was surprised to see him; he had a four-day weekend and the last Cam knew had been headed to Walla Walla for the holiday.
Rod claimed his usual spot along the bar, second from the end.
“I thought you were gone until Sunday.” Cam slapped a coaster on the bar. “Whatcha drinking?”
“I was, and I’ll have a double vodka soda, you can go light on the soda. No ice.”
“Oookay.” Cam busied himself making Rod’s drink. “You want to tell me what’s up?”
“In a minute. Lemme me get drunk first.” Rod snatched the glass up and downed half the contents without stopping for air. “Make me another one.”
“Rod, I can’t over-serve.” Cam pointed to the Liquor and Cannabis Board sign behind the bar.
Rod looked at him, and Cam saw the vast pain in his eyes. “Just, look, I’m gonna get drunk. I can do it here, or I can go up the street to the Beaver. Probably be more appropriate. You can cut me off, but I don’t want to be alone and I don’t want to think.”
“Where’s your car?”
“Out front.”
“Give me the keys.” Cam held out his hand.
Rod hitched up on the barstool, digging into the pocket of his jeans and pulling out a key ring with an anime character Cam didn’t recognize dangling from it along with three silver keys. He set it on the bar top, and Cam stuffed it into his pocket.
Rod finished the first drink and watched while Cam made the next one, automatically wiping the bottom of the glass on a towel before setting it down on the bar.
“What happened in Walla Walla?”
Without answering, Rod took a big gulp from his second drink. Cam had only poured a splash of soda in this time. He put the drink down, covering his face with one hand. Cam moved around from behind the bar, going to Rod’s side. He’d never seen Rod like this. Rod was funny and upbeat, even when he was depressed about his love life.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I thought maybe you wanted to talk.”
Rod mumbled something into his hand. Cam leaned closer, but he still couldn’t quite make out the words.
“What?” Cam sat on the stool next to Rod, ignoring the guy waiting at the taps. It was one of the twinks Ira had gone home with at one time or another. Cam disliked him on principle even if Ira was, had been, the one who instigated it.
“He’s getting married.”
Cam stood up, nearly bashing Rod’s head with his own.
“Travis is getting married?”
“Yeah.” Rod whispered.
“Well, that is fucked up.” What the hell was wrong with Travis? Cam had seen the two of them together; they were a matched set.
Rod released a humorless chuckle. “You’re telling me.”
“Hang on.” Cam couldn’t ignore the line any longer. There were now three customers waiting.
As quickly as he could, Cam dispatched the line. Rod sat there staring into space, his drink now seemingly forgotten.
The final order taken care of, Cam stuck his head in the kitchen door to see how busy Marcus was. As Cam suspected, he was tucked between the two counters and the stove reading a cookbook. The Friday after Thanksgiving wasn’t busy for kitchen staff, anyway.
“Hey.” Marcus looked over to where Cam was waiting. “Can you…? I have a customer emergency out here.” Marcus sighed. “Please? I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t worried.”
“Who is it?” Like it depended on the person. Cam rolled his eyes, but Marcus did snap the book shut.
“Rod, firefighter-slash-bus-driver guy.”
“Oh, yeah, the one with a bad case of unrequited love for Mr. Confused.”
“Yeah. Apparently Confused is getting married, and I don’t think it’s to Rod, or he would be a lot happier.”
“Jesus, what is wrong with men these days?” Marcus threw his hands up as he angled past Cam on his way to the bar. “Admit it, though, my amazing drinks are way better than your boring ones.”
“Look, I’ll let you do a whole night of just your drink recipes, okay?”
“Whooee! This is going to be great. I’m going to plan a menu too.”
Cam thought maybe he’d created a monster.
Rod was where Cam had left him, practically catatonic. Cam was tired of the office, so he led him to a two-top where he could keep an eye on the bar and know if Marcus needed help.
“Tell me the whole story. I’ll buy the next drink. Then I’ll call Ira and see if he minds you crashing on the couch. I don’t think I want you to be alone right now.” As far as Cam knew, Rod didn’t have any other friends in Skagit yet, except for the kids who rode his school bus.
The story that unfolded was heartbreaking. Rod had returned to his hometown for Thanksgiving. Travis had even invited him, Rod’s own parents having divorced and moved away several years ago. The only reason Rod had to go there was Travis.
Right in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner, just after the turkey had been carved, Travis tapped his water glass and stood up, proudly announcing that Lisa Harris had accepted his marriage proposal. There’d been no warning, no hint of anything so disastrous. Rod had sat there attempting to act normal, to keep a smile plastered to his face while the families celebrated.
“Her family was there too?” Cam’s voice rose an octave.
“Yeah, he’s known her forever. They all were neighbors—they lived in the same housing development. There were always big holiday things; it wasn’t weird she was there.”
“I thought Travis had a farm or something.”
“They don’t live out at the farm anymore except during harvest.”
Oh. “What happened then? I mean, did you have a chance to talk to him or anything? I mean, have you ever…?”
“Then I pretended to be happy for the rest of the day. I avoided Travis as much as I could, but not before he could ask me to be his best man.”
“The hell, what did you say?”
“We’re best friends, Cam, what could I say? I said I’d think about it. I’m sure he thought I was kidding. As soon as I could, I left. I left town this morning. The pass was shit, and it took over eight hours because a semi jackknifed past Ellensburg, but I couldn’t be there any longer.”
Rod downed a couple more not-as-strong vodkas before Cam and Marcus were able to close the bar.
Ira had of course said it was fine to bring him home. He even knew who Cam was talking about, muttering, “I saw the two of you together and may have gotten jealous.” Which made Cam grin.
“Jealous, huh?” Good.
“Shaddup. He does know the cabin is smaller than most people’s garages, right?”
“I don’t think he cares, and on the plus side, the couch is right next to the bathroom.”
At least Rod didn’t snore, and when he got up to be sick in the night he was very quiet about it.
“Oh my god, I invaded your love nest? This is so embarrassing.”
The next morning Rod sat curled into to a pitiful ball, managing to look small even on the loveseat.
“Cam would do this for anyone he thought of as a friend,” Ira said from upstairs.
“I would have left earlier, but Cam has my keys.”
“Good.” Ira again.
“Everyone is still here in town; we’re all getting together for Chinese take-out tonight,” Cam said. “A new Thanksgiving weekend tradition. You should come.”
“I’ve had enough surprises. I’m not sure I can handle your family.”
“Of course you can’t,” Ira responded. Cam admired his ass as he climbed down the ladder from the sleeping loft. “I can’t handle them.”
Rod departed with a vague promise to get in touch and a thank-you for taking care of him the night before. Cam had a feeling they wouldn’t see Rod for Chinese.
“Now that Rod’s gone, I have something I want to talk to you about before we meet up with Rachael and her posse tonight.” Ira had snuck up behind Cam while he was in the kitchen making more coffee.
“Yeah?” He turned around, resting his butt against the counter, and Ira trapped him there with his hands on either side of Cam’s hips.
“I’ve been trying to find the right way to word this,” Ira paused, “but I have to trust that you will listen, and then I need to let you decide. But I… anyway,” Ira paused again, “look, I have money. Enough money for us to live comfortably for years if we stay in the cabin. Enough to build something bigger if we like, as Rachael said, or buy something somewhere else. It would mean a lot to me if you would let me help you pay for school.”
Cam opened his mouth, but Ira held up a hand, forestalling his response. “I know you want to do it all on your own. It’s a matter of pride for you, and I respect that. If you want to, we can make it a loan you would pay back after you graduate, but I’d like to think this is a journey we could make together. After all, when I’m an old man you’re going to have a lot of work on your hands—if you can stand me for that long.”
“Can I speak now?” Cam asked with amusement, liking the way Ira was leaning into him.
Ira nodded, watching him carefully.
“I do want to do it myself. I want to prove to my parents and everyone else that I can do it, that I don’t need help.”
Ira started to protest. Cam placed a finger against his lips.
“But I also know that failing because I don’t ask for or accept help when it’s offered is allowing myself to lose because I’m following their rules.”
Even after news broke in Skagit about Karl Lang’s arrest and later sentencing, Cam’s parents hadn’t tried to contact him. Cam hadn’t expected them to; they hadn’t communicated in years. But he recognized that a little part of him had held out hope. He supposed it always would.
“Let’s see if I get in first.”
“You’ll get in,” Ira growled.
“But if I don’t…”
“If you don’t, you’re smart enough to come up with another plan. You didn’t make it this far on a wish and a prayer.”
“Can we plan on taking our time with the other stuff? My heart wants me to jump into your arms and say yes, but…”
Ira leaned back from him. “But what?”
“Honestly?”
“Of course. I expect nothing less.”
“I’m scared. I’m scared you’re the one who is going to come to his senses. That you’ll figure out I’m too young, too inexperienced, too shallow… I barely graduated from high school, for Christ’s sake.” He rolled his eyes. “The list is endless. And if you decide, later, that what I have to offer isn’t enough…”
“Cameron, Cameron, stop.” Now Ira cupped Cam’s cheeks between his warm hands, one thumb gently stroking his cheekbone. “Don’t you see? When you boil it down, we’re afraid of the same things, but neither of us are quitters. It’s not what you offer, or bring, or any of those things… it’s who you are that I want. You could work at the bar for the rest of your life. I don’t care. I only want you to be happy, happy with me.”
“Yeah?” Cam knew he had a goofy expression on his face.
“Yeah.”
Cam felt shy suddenly. Maybe it was that his innermost wants were exposed in a way he’d never allowed before. Before answering, he stared back, meeting Ira’s serious gaze. Then he took a big breath. “Okay.”
Apparently hearing Cam say yes made Ira extremely horny. Personally, Cam didn’t think it had been the most romantic exchange, but Ira saw fit to drag Cam over to the couch, and they were nearly late for their dinner date with the families. A word Cam had never thought he would say in regard to himself again.