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ALICE ATTACKED THE last of her gardening for the season, hoping to purge all the what ifs regarding Harry and Betty. Seeing them together that morning had shattered her heart, left her questioning everything she believed about her future with Harry and her friendship with Betty.
She gathered the last of the squash and pumpkins and put them in the root cellar. Jack came home with the supplies not long after she arrived. He brought in her goods, glancing briefly over to where she worked, before returning to the barn. He didn’t say a word, but he had to have noticed she’d been crying, so it was a kindness to keep his questions to himself. He knew well enough she would talk when she was ready and not before.
She lifted the lid on the soup kettle. Steam rose to entice her with the aroma of chicken and vegetables. Spooning in dumplings to cook in the broth, she turned down the flame to a slow simmer and went outside to ring the dinner bell. By the time Jack washed up, the table would be set and dinner ready.
“What is the Finley delivery wagon doing here?” She hadn’t heard it come in, and they hadn’t placed an order for pick up or delivery. Yet, there it was, parked next to the barn. Fin must be inside talking to Jack. Perhaps he’d like to have some soup with them. There was plenty.
Alice stopped outside the barn door when she heard Harry’s name. She knew it was wrong to eavesdrop, but she was afraid if she walked in, they’d stop talking. And if she asked, Jack would lie to protect her.
“What did he say about Betty?” It was Jack. Alice’s breath caught. Fin had been talking to Harry about Betty, and Jack knew.
“He didn’t admit there was anything going on, but he didn’t deny it either. He said Betty loves Minneapolis and wouldn’t nurse anyone other than her own family. He said she knew what it meant to be a real wife and mother.”
“Bastard!” Jack threw something against the barn wall. “Then what did you say?”
“I told him he was a fool and needed to talk things out with Alice.”
Neither man saw her standing in the door. “Then it’s true?” Alice sobbed. She held her apron to her face and ran for the house. Jack’s uneven gait sounded in the dirt as he ran to catch up to her. She stumbled on the steps and fell against the door.
“Are you hurt?” He lifted her chin.
“I tore my skirt,” was all she said, holding up the ripped edge. She stood and reached for the door then turned. “How long have you two known what’s going on with Betty?”
Jack and Fin looked at each other.
“How long?” She stomped a foot, glaring at one then the other.
“Lizzie and I have been seeing them together all week.” Fin hung his head.
“I just figured it out today, when I saw them go into Lizzie’s then you leaving.”
“So, it’s true. Harry doesn’t love me anymore. He doesn’t want to marry me. That’s why he didn’t come to church today. There was no reason to talk to Reverend Lamb.” Alice slid down the kitchen door and sat on the step sobbing into her apron.
A few fat raindrops hit the dirt yard with a splat, followed rapidly by a few more until it became a steady rain.
Jack helped Alice to her feet, and Fin held the door open. “Come on, let’s go in before we get soaked and you get sick again.”
Warm smells of dinner cooking filled the kitchen and Alice remembered her manners. “Sit. I’ll get you some soup.” She took a third bowl from the cupboard for Fin and filled them. Her throat closed and stomach rolled. She pushed hers away.
“Bread?” She held up the basket. “Fresh baked this afternoon.”
Fin accepted a slice and dipped it in his soup. “Harry still loves you, Alice. I can tell by the way he talked this afternoon.”
She dumped her soup back into the pot and set her bowl in the sink. “A man doesn’t spend time with one woman when he’s engaged to another.”
But wasn’t that what she was doing with Jack? She pushed the thought away. It wasn’t the same. She wasn’t flirting with Jack the way Harry flirted with Betty. And she’d made it clear to Jack there could never be anything more than friendship between them.
Jack took a slice of bread when she pushed the basket toward him. “Harry’s confused right now. The war messed with his thinking, and he’s trying to find his way back.”
“They call it shell shock,” Fin explained. “I heard the doctors talking about it in the Army hospital. Some guys don’t return home the same person they were when they left.”
Alice had read about shell shock in the newspaper. A man somewhere killed his wife during a nightmare. Thought he was back in the fighting.
Fin refilled his bowl and buttered another slice of bread. “He’s worried no woman can love him now, on account of his face. He’s told me that many times.”
“But I told him I don’t care about his injuries.” Could it be true he didn’t believe her? “And I’ll tell him over and over again until the end of our lives, for as long as it takes.”
“What about Minneapolis?” Jack held a spoonful of soup over his bowl. “And nursing?” He blew on it before putting the spoon in his mouth.
“I decided I’ll go with him to Minneapolis. I was planning to tell him this morning. And I’d already told him I turned down Doc’s offer. I know he gets easily upset lately. Maybe he didn’t truly hear me. I’ll ring him right now and explain.”
“Ummm.” Fin stopped her. “He’s not in any condition to come to the telephone. Not tonight, anyway.”
“I see.” Her excitement clouded over with understanding. “He was drinking again.”
The men stared silently at their soup.
“Of course.” She crossed her arms and leaned back against the counter. There had to be a way she could help Harry.
“You have to understand what we went through over there.”
“I know I can never fully understand what war is like, but I’m a good listener.” A spark of hope returned. “I’ll sit and listen to him all day, if it helps.”
Fin shook his head. “He wants to forget. We spent days, weeks, months, dreaming about what it would be like to be home again only to discover everything’s changed.”
Alice let Fin’s words soak in. Harry came home expecting her to be the same girl he left behind, and she expected Harry to come home the same boy who went to war, but it wasn’t possible. They’d both been through things, different things but no less traumatic. They needed to live in the present, not the past.
Alice nodded, having made up her mind about a plan. “I’ll talk to him tomorrow and everything will be fine.” She stood and wiped her hands on her apron. “Pie, anyone?”
* * *
ANXIOUS TO TELL HARRY she would go to Minneapolis with him and they could sell the farm, Alice rushed through her morning chores. Her love for him was greater than her love for the farm. Their future was more important than her past. At the same time, she didn’t want to go over too early. She remembered what Jack and Fin said about Harry’s drinking the day before.
She took one end of the ladder Jack was trying to set against the side of the barn, laying it on the ground, instead. “You can’t patch the roof alone. You’ll fall and break your neck. Then where would I be? With Dad gone, we’ll have to hire someone to climb up there.”
“There’s no money to hire an extra hand.” Jack attempted to step around her. “I’m perfectly capable of climbing a ladder. How many times have I followed you up that windmill?”
“Not with a bag of heavy roofing shingles slung on your back.” She side-stepped left then right, preventing Jack from reaching around her for the ladder. “If there’s no money to hire someone then I’ll help you. Until then, you can finish mending the fence so I can paint it tomorrow.”
Jack laughed. “You are not climbing onto the roof. It’s one thing to sit on a level windmill platform, and quite another to be crawling up and down a pitched roof in a skirt. Your feet will get tangled, and you’ll be the one falling.”
Alice thought about it for a minute. Jack was right. Climbing on the roof in a skirt wasn’t a good idea. “I’ll wear some of Dad’s old clothes. This way I won’t get my feet tangled, as you so rightly pointed out.”
Jack raised a hand, ready to argue her suggestion of wearing men’s clothing. His mouth hung open, closed then opened again with no words. Alice laughed out loud.
“Don’t worry what other people will think. I’m not. Many farm women have worn trousers for certain chores where a skirt would be a problem.”
Jack’s face turned red.
“Why, Jack Barnes, you do know women have legs, don’t you?”
“Of course, I know women have legs.” He sputtered and stammered some more. “It’s just not proper for women to be seen wearing men’s trousers. And you should care what Harry thinks.”
His last point made Alice stop. Harry would be angry if he heard his future bride was seen on the roof wearing her father’s old clothes and wielding a hammer.
“We won’t tell anyone. We need to patch both roofs before winter and there’s no other way around it.” When Jack sighed and his shoulders dropped, she knew she had his acceptance, if not approval.
“This one time only. But no one better see you, or we’re both in trouble.” He suddenly smiled, the way he always did when there was something up his sleeve she wasn’t going to like. “Heck, if anyone sees us alone out here with you wearing men’s clothes, you might have to marry me to stop all the gossip.”
Her stomach flipped. He was joking, right? She couldn’t help laughing with him. It would be a tale spread around Pine Lake faster than the Minnesota wildfires only a few short weeks before. “I’ll see you when I get back. Promise me you won’t climb up there while I’m gone.” She retrieved her bicycle.
“Where are you going?”
“To see Harry. I was thinking about what you and Fin said yesterday. I have to set things straight with him. I have to ask him myself what his feelings are for Betty, and I have to tell him I’ve decided moving to Minneapolis is the right thing to do. We left things in a bad place the other day. How can I expect him to know these things now, after all I said before?”
“Wait. I’ll hitch the wagon. I can drop you off on my way into town. We have enough paint to touch up the fence, but the old paint brush isn’t in as good a shape as I expected so I’ll need to buy a new one.”
“Buy two.” She returned her bicycle to the barn. “It’ll get done faster if we work together.
* * *
AUNT CAROLINE WAS HANGING wash to dry when Jack reined in the horses. She removed the clothes pin from her mouth. “Hello, you two,” she called out. “Wind’s a little nippy, but the sun’s nice and bright. November’s here and winter can’t be too far off.”
“Is Harry around? He and Alice need to clear up a few things.”
“I’m afraid Harry’s left.”
“Left?” Alice’s heart skipped a beat. “Where to?”
“Minneapolis. He called that Mr. Cavendish last night and formally accepted the position. He was leaving on the first train to Minneapolis this morning.”
A chill washed over her. Alice clutched her woolen shawl tighter around her shoulders. Harry left without a word? Was he coming back?
“If you hurry, you might still be able to catch him.”
Aunt Caroline’s words cut through the despair clouding her thinking, offering a little flame of hope. Alice gripped Jack’s arm.
“Let’s go.” He snapped the reins, and the horses took off at a full run, sending them almost flying into the wagon bed. He didn’t slow down until they approached the station.
The train engine’s furnace roared. Smoke rose above the depot, belching from the stack. Alice jumped from the wagon and pushed her way through the passengers gathered on the platform, each one boarding until only one man was left standing.
“Harry!” She ran toward him. He turned to her as the conductor took his ticket. She stumbled to a stop in front of him and he caught her before she fell beneath the train’s wheels.
“Alice, what are you doing here?”
“Stopping you from leaving, I hope.” She scanned his face for any sign he still loved her. “We need to talk, Harry. Can’t you take the next train?”
“The next train isn’t until tomorrow and they’re expecting to meet with me in the morning.” His voice was flat.
“Ma’am.” The conductor reached for her. “You’re going to have to step away and let him board if he’s to get on this train.”
“I’ll go with you,” she blurted. “We can sell the farm, and I’ll move to Minneapolis with you.”
“You mean it?” His face brightened for the first time.
“Sir, the train’s leaving in thirty seconds, with or without you.”
“I have to go. Listen, I’ll be home next week. We can talk then.” Harry gave her hand a quick squeeze and hopped aboard as the train pulled away from the station.
Alice ran alongside the train, searching for Harry’s face until it appeared in the last window. He slid it open and stuck his head out.
“I’m staying at the Minneapolis Arms on Hennepin Avenue.” He closed the window and waved.
She threw him a kiss. Standing at the far end of the platform, she watched until the train was out of sight.
Jack’s uneven gait thumped across the platform toward her. She didn’t turn around but kept her eyes on the train as if she thought it would stop, back up, and Harry would step off and take her in his arms promising to never leave her again.
“Did you hear?”
“I did.”
Was that a hint of disappointment in his voice? And was that doubt she felt in her heart, as well?