WHEN ATHLETES FART
When you watch a sporting match, do you wonder how much the athletes fart? We do. Here’s what we found out.
THUNDEROUS BOLT
Tommy Bolt was an excellent golfer (he won the 1958 U.S. Open), and he had a pretty cool name. But he also had a nickname, “Terrible Tommy,” which he got because of his bad behavior. If a shot didn’t go his way, he’d routinely break out into a temper tantrum or throw a club. At the 1959 Memphis Invitational Open, he approached the tee and made an outburst…from his rear end. Bolt broke wind in full view (and earshot) of other golfers, spectators, and PGA officials. After he finished his round, the PGA fined Bolt $250. (They called it “conduct unbecoming a professional golfer.”)
POOL FARTS
Snooker, a variant of billiards, is technically a sport, combining strategy and physical exertion to get the right balls into the right holes. It’s also one of the most-watched live competitive events on TV in the UK. At the 2013 Snooker World Championship semifinals, featuring Judd Trump against Ronnie O’Sullivan, Trump was setting up for a crucial shot late in the game. Suddenly, the silence in the hall (not to mention Trump’s concentration) was broken by the loud, unmistakable sound of flatulence. The fart came from someone in the spectator gallery, who understandably didn’t take credit for their work, even though Trump laughed. Interruption over, Trump set up for the shot again…and once more the rogue farter let loose. This time Trump was irritated. The disturbance got so in his head that he missed his big shot…and lost the match.
GRAND SLAM OF FARTS
Darts is extremely popular in Europe, and to win the Grand Slam of Darts is the sport’s greatest achievement. Gary Anderson of Scotland has won the whole thing twice, but to get into the 2018 finals he first had to defeat Wesley Harms of the Netherlands. Harms claims that Anderson stooped very low during their face-off to secure the win. Several times when he walked past Anderson, he was bombarded by a “fragrant smell” of “rotten eggs,” Harms told a Dutch TV station. “It’ll take me two nights to lose this smell from my nose.” Anderson agreed that there was a gas leak but claimed that it came from someone in the audience. “If the boy thinks I’ve farted he’s 110 percent wrong,” Anderson told the BBC. “I had a bad stomach once on stage before and admitted it. So I’m not going to lie about farting on stage.” Despite Harms’s protests, Anderson’s win stood. Said Barry Hearn, head of the sport’s overseeing body, the Professional Darts Corporation, “Something doesn’t smell right.”
About 2 percent of all identified bird species have been spotted just once.
A TIP FROM UNCLE JOHN
While flatulence is normal and healthy, there are some steps you can take to cut down on excessive farting. 1. Slow down at meals and eat smaller portions. That helps the body digest food easier, thus reducing gas production. 2. Drink more water. That can aid the body in processing food, which in turn leads to fewer gas leaks.
A CAVALIER ATTITUDE
LeBron James can do it all on the basketball court: dunk, drive, make three-pointers, rebound, block, steal…and fart and get away with it. During a nationally televised game in 2009, James emerged from the locker room and nonchalantly took a seat on the Cleveland Cavaliers’ bench in an open spot next to teammate Anderson Varejao. James kept a perfectly straight face as he let out a stinker…only breaking his stoicism after Varejao started wildly overreacting when he got a whiff of the broken wind.
EXTREMELY TOUGH MOVIE QUOTE QUIZ
Can you guess what films spawned these memorable lines? (Answers on page 527)
1.“Forget it, Jake. It’s Chinatown.”
2.“Welcome…to Jurassic Park!”
3.“Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.”
4.“They tell me you’re a man with true grit.”
5.“The first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club.”
6.“My name’s Forrest, Forrest Gump.”
7.“Goooooood morning, Vietnam!”
8.“We’re sending you back…to the future!”
9.“I wish I was big!”
10.“Dude, where’s my car?”
11.“I’m Batman!”
Real person with most Lego figures made in his image: actor Chris Pratt….