Lucy was on her way to work on Monday. She missed Eddie – the way he made her laugh, the feel of his arms around her – but now, when she walked past his stall, he didn’t even look at her.
She had misjudged him and wanted to apologise, but every time she plucked up the courage it deserted her. She had driven him away, knew it was her fault, but how could she explain her complicated feelings to Eddie?
‘Did you speak to him this time?’ Pearl asked as soon as she walked into the shop.
She shook her head. ‘No, he was busy.’
‘Lucy, it’s been nearly two weeks now and the longer you leave it, the harder it will be.’
‘What if he won’t accept my apology? I … I don’t think I could face it if he’s nasty to me.’
‘Lucy, if you really want him back, it’s a chance you’ll have to take. Go and talk to him.’
‘What about Nora?’
‘Look at her, she’s busy dusting and she’ll be fine for a while.’
Lucy knew she had run out of excuses and biting her lower lip nervously she headed back to Eddie’s stall.
When Eddie saw Lucy walking towards him, he quickly went over to another stall and engaged the costermonger in an inane conversation about the weather. He still loved Lucy, felt he always would, and it tore his guts out that she thought so badly of him. All right, he might enjoy a bit of flirtation, liked to make his customers laugh, but that was as far as it went. As for girlfriends, yes, he’d had quite a few, some that had been willing to indulge in a bit of slap and tickle, and others that hadn’t, but never before had he found one that he wanted to marry.
Lucy had probably passed by now, so bringing the pointless conversation to an end he turned to go back. His stomach lurched. Lucy was still there, standing at the corner of his stall.
‘Eddie, can I talk to you?’
‘What for?’ he asked bluntly.
‘I … I want to apologise. It wasn’t you. It was me.’
‘I don’t get it. What do you mean?’ he asked.
‘I was ashamed of myself for being so … so easy, and because I was I started to think that you only wanted me for … for sex,’ Lucy said, hurriedly glancing around as though to make sure that nobody had overheard before continuing, ‘I wanted to test you, to see if you’d stop seeing me when I started to turn you down.’
Eddie frowned, wondering why women had to be so complicated. It sounded daft to him, but he sort of got it. ‘I think I understand, at least partly, but if it was some sort of test you seemed to be goading me to fail. I had no intention of breaking up with you, but as you made your opinion of me clear, I didn’t have much choice.’
‘I don’t have a low opinion of you, really I don’t. It was me. I … I was afraid of my growing feelings for you, afraid of being hurt, and so I pushed you away.’
Eddie moved closer to her and said softly, ‘What feelings, Lucy?’
She shook her head, refusing to answer, but Eddie didn’t mind. He understood now and pulled her into his arms. ‘Lucy, I’ll never hurt you. I just want to be with you, to take care of you, and Clive too if you’ll let me.’
He felt her stiffen slightly, but said softly, ‘It’s all right, I’m not talking marriage. I know you’re not ready for that yet.’
She looked up at him then, her eyes shining. ‘I might consider a long engagement.’
‘Lucy Sanderson, I love you,’ he said, lifting her to swing her around, laughing when he heard some of the other stallholders whistling in appreciation.
Eddie was happy again. He had Lucy back and this time he wasn’t going to let her go.
Pearl took the telephone call and her stomach lurched as she listened to what Kevin had to tell her.
‘As there are only partial remains,’ Kevin went on, ‘mainly my dad’s torso, which I’m told has been got at by either fish or crabs, identification could take some time. I’d like of course to arrange his funeral, but that won’t be possible until the coroner releases what’s left of his body.’
‘Will you let … let us know when you do arrange it?’ Pearl said. It was as if John’s nightmare had come true, and heaving badly now she quickly ended the call as soon as Kevin agreed. She dashed to the bathroom and was violently sick, afterwards standing at the sink to splash cold water over her face. It was as she grabbed a towel that she heard Nora’s voice.
‘Pearl, what matter?’
‘It’s nothing, just a bit of an upset stomach,’ Pearl lied as Lucy returned.
‘You look awful. Are you all right?’ Lucy asked, eyeing her.
‘I’ve been sick, but I’m fine now.’
‘You must have eaten something that was a bit dodgy.’
‘Yes, probably,’ Pearl agreed. She didn’t want to think about Bernie’s remains again, to be sick again, and so asked, ‘Lucy, how did it go with Eddie?’
‘Thanks to your advice, we’ve made things up.’
Pearl tried to look pleased for her, but the weight of what she had just been told was heavy on her mind. ‘That’s good,’ she managed to say, ‘but I must open the shop now. We’ll have to chat later.’
‘Yes, all right,’ Lucy called as Pearl hurried downstairs, but she didn’t open the shop. Instead she dashed over to Derek’s stall.
‘Blimey, love, what’s wrong?’ he asked.
‘Kevin just rang me. He … he said they’ve found Bernie’s body.’
‘It’s about time. He must have been missing for what, about nine or ten weeks?’
Pearl felt her stomach lurch again, and found herself swallowing bile before she was able to say, ‘They didn’t find all of him. Just his … his torso.’
‘Bloody hell, that’s awful! Pearl, you look a bit green. Are you all right?’
‘I still feel a bit sick. I was hoping they’d find Bernie; that his funeral would help John, but not like this. Kevin said there won’t be a funeral until he’s been identified.’
‘How are they going to identify Bernie if there’s only a torso?’
‘I don’t know, but Derek, how am I going to explain that to John? I can’t tell him the truth, that there’s only a bit of Bernie left. Like me, he’ll be horrified.’
‘Between us we’ll find a way, perhaps say that identification is going to take a bit of time because he’s been in the water so long. John doesn’t need to know the rest.’
‘Yes, we’ll tell him that,’ Pearl said, feeling marginally better now. She could see a customer trying to get into the shop and though she wasn’t looking forward to opening it, at least it would give her less time to think if she kept busy.
The shop had been quiet all day, but Pearl kept herself occupied by rearranging the displays. She waited until after dinner that evening before speaking to John and then said as gently as she could, ‘John, your grandfather’s body has been found.’
He paled, but then said, ‘I … I’m glad – sad, but glad. I hated the thought that they’d never find him. Did Kevin ring you? Is that how you found out?’
‘Yes, he called me … and John,’ she said hesitantly, ‘there’s something else. Your grandfather’s body was in the sea a long time, and I’m afraid it’s caused a bit of a problem. You see, until he’s identified, Kevin can’t arrange the funeral, but hopefully it won’t take too long.’
John lowered his head as he digested this and Pearl hoped he wasn’t imagining what the sea and the creatures within it had done to his grandfather’s body. He finally looked up as Ginger strolled haughtily into the room to rub against his legs. John bent to pick him up, stroking his head and then said, ‘He’s hungry. I’ll feed him and then I … I think I’ll go to my room.’
Pearl could see that John was holding back tears and she wanted to go after him, but Derek laid a hand on her arm. ‘Leave him, love. I reckon he needs a bit of time on his own.’
Though growing up fast, John would always be her baby and Pearl wanted to comfort him, but perhaps Derek was right – maybe he needed a bit of privacy to vent his feelings. But she found that the pull was too strong, and she shook her head as she rose to her feet and dashed from the room.
John took one look at her, fell into her arms, and Pearl found herself crying with him.