DESTINY THOUGHT THE DRIVE BACK TO THE HOTEL would never end. As the conversation between her mother and Daniel swirled around her, her thoughts moved from one dire consequence to another. Despite Daniel’s attempts to calm her fears about Kenneth’s threat to seek custody of the kids, she still felt threatened by the possibility. She’d concluded that she needed some legal advice.
Then there was Daniel. When she’d left Atlanta, she’d been so hopeful about where their relationship was going. That her first thought when she was in trouble was to call him showed just how much he’d come to mean to her in a short time. On the surface, his response showed that she’d come to mean a lot to him as well. But below the surface was the fact that she had been a person of interest in an undercover operation he was running. As a result, she couldn’t be sure if his response was out of his feelings for her or his duty to his job. Even more complicated was the idea that it was some convoluted combination of each. She had really screwed up this time. And she wasn’t sure how she was going to fix it.
When Daniel finally pulled the car up to the front of the hotel, Destiny resisted the urge to jump out and run yelling into the night. Her mother’s presence forced her to stay seated and say, “Thanks for the ride, Daniel.”
“Yes, thank you,” her mother added, opening the rear passenger car door so she could get out. “You really came through for Destiny today. I still can’t believe that you flew all of the way out here to support her and get that police mess cleaned up, but I’m glad you did. We needed you today.”
“I’m glad I was able to help,” Daniel said. He reached for her hand. “Destiny is very important to me.”
“I’ll see you upstairs, Destiny,” her mother said, getting fully out of the car.
“Okay, Mom, I’ll be up shortly.”
Alone in the car with Daniel, she looked down at their joined hands and then back up at his face. She searched his eyes for some hint of a change in his feelings toward her but saw none.
“Feeling any better?” he asked.
“I don’t know how I’m feeling,” she said. “The words that come to mind are unsettled, uncertain, and unstable. I feel as though I’ve lost my footing.”
He squeezed her fingers. “It’s natural. You went through a major ordeal today. Things will look a lot better tomorrow.”
She met his eyes. “I wish I could believe that.”
“Believe it,” he said.
But faith without works is dead, she thought. “I think I’d feel better if I could talk to an attorney about Kenneth’s custody threat. Do you think we could get Malcolm to come over in the morning?”
Daniel nodded. “I’m sure we can. He’s not a family law attorney but he may have some insights that will help ease your mind.”
“That would be great. If he can’t help me, maybe he can recommend somebody back in Atlanta. I don’t want to be blindsided if Kenneth decides to go through with his threat.”
“I’m sorry for all of this, Destiny,” he said. “All I’ve tried to do this whole time is help you and protect you. Your getting arrested was never even a consideration.”
She sighed again. “I know,” she said. “It’s not your fault. In a way, I wish I could blame somebody else, but the only person to blame is me. This is all on me.”
“What can I do to help?” he asked.
She gave him a sad smile. “You’ve done more than enough already. You don’t have to stay out here and babysit me. I’ll be fine.”
“I’m not babysitting you, Destiny,” he said. “You’re my lady and I’m supporting you. That’s the way relationships work.”
She met his eyes. “But ours is not a normal relationship.”
“How do you mean?”
She lifted her shoulders in a slight shrug. “It’s not wise for undercover cops to get involved with their targets, is it?”
“That doesn’t apply to us because I’m not a cop and you’re not a target.”
“Not technically, but it’s close enough.” She looked directly at him. “How much of your concern for me is because of the case and how much is because of your interest in me? Were we spending so much time together because you enjoyed my company or because you wanted to keep watch over me?”
“Why can’t it be all those things?”
“It can, but it makes everything complicated. You see, I know how I feel about you, but I’m not sure you know how you feel about me.”
“So now you know my feelings?”
“I’m not trying to be offensive, Daniel. I’m just being honest. When I left Atlanta, I thought I knew where we were as a couple. Tonight, I have no idea.”
“Those are your insecurities,” he said. “Not mine.”
“Maybe they should be.”
“What are you saying?”
She released a deep breath. “I think we both need to take a step back and reevaluate our relationship. I need to reconcile the Daniel I left in Atlanta with Daniel the investigator. He’s still a great guy but I don’t know him well.”
“There’s only one Daniel.”
“That’s easy for you to say but not so easy for me. I’m just asking for a little time, Daniel. I’m not running away and I’m not pushing you away. I just need some time not just to figure out how I feel about you but to also figure out how I feel about myself. According to Malcolm, I need to stay out here a few extra days. I see now that I need that time to get recalibrated.”
“And you can’t do that with me here?”
“I could, but I don’t think that’s best for us in the long run. You need to get back to your life and rethink how I fit in it, and I need to do the same with you.”
He began shaking his head. “I don’t need to rethink anything,” he said. “I know how I feel about you. I—”
She pressed her fingers to his lips. “Don’t say it,” she said. “If it’s true tonight, it’ll be true when I get back to Atlanta. Emotionally, I’m not prepared to hear anything more. Not tonight.”
He pressed a kiss against her fingers. “Even though I don’t want to, I’m going to honor your request and get a flight back to Atlanta tomorrow. But I want you to know that I’ll be waiting for you to come home to me.”
“I’m counting on it,” she said. After pressing a soft kiss against his lips, she got out of the car and headed into the hotel. She didn’t bother to look back though she knew in her heart that Daniel was waiting for her to do so. They needed a clean break, if only for tonight. For both their sakes, she kept facing forward.