We watch from the kitchen window as DS Forbes gets into his car.
“You need to sort things out with Stephen,” I say as the black Volvo disappears down the street.
“Why should I?” Mark’s tone is defensive, but I can hear the pain behind it.
It’s a good question. I’ve been thinking about Stephen for days. I was so, so angry with him after I met him in the pub. I felt as though he was deliberately trying to destroy what little life I have left by getting his own back on Mark. Only he wasn’t, was he? Not completely. He was telling me things other people had kept from me. Wherever I look I unearth another lie or another secret and Stephen is one of the few people who’s been straight with me—or as straight as a broken drunk can be.
“He’s your brother, Mark.”
“Stepbrother.”
“You used to be close.”
“That was a long time ago.”
“He needs you. And you need him.”
Mark yanks at the handle on the dishwasher door and pulls out the tray at the top. There’s a saucepan and baking tray jammed in with the mugs and glasses instead of down at the bottom where the jets are stronger.
“Stephen’s in a bad place,” I say. “He’s drinking too much. His marriage is on its last legs and he’s torn up about Billy.”
Mark hooks his thick fingers through the handles of several mugs and transfers them to the mug tree by the kettle.
“I think he’d talk if you reached out to him.”
“And why would I want to do that?”
“Because you miss him. Because you both need someone to talk to. And because your argument is eating away at you as much as it’s eating away at him. Don’t you think Jake would go back and sort things out with Billy if he could? He’d do it in a heartbeat. Don’t leave it too late to talk to Stephen. That’s all I’m saying.”
He reaches for the saucepan, then rests his hand on top of it.
“I’m just so tired, Claire. I’m tired of fights and tension and not knowing from one day to the next what shitty thing is going to be thrown at us next. I just . . . I just want to rewind time and go back to when things were good. You know?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Remember that time?” He looks at me, his eyes lighting up. “When the kids were little and they wanted to go camping but we couldn’t afford it so we borrowed a tent off Dad and set it up in the garden. The boys said they were going to stay in it all night but we knew they were both secretly scared and neither of them wanted to be the one to admit it and come in?”
“We threw marbles at the tent through our bedroom window!”
“They couldn’t get out fast enough!
“They were good times.” His smile disappears and sadness fills his eyes. “When did it all go wrong?”
“They grew up. We did too. We were so young when they were born, not much more than kids ourselves.”
“You haven’t changed at all.”
“Haven’t I?”
“I meant it as a compliment.”
“I know.”
“Claire.” Mark takes a step toward me and his fingers brush the skin on the back of my hand. “I never wanted to hurt you. Not then, not now. I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy and what—”
“All right, Mum? Dad.” Jake steps into the kitchen, followed by Kira who raises her hand in a half-hearted wave.
“Hello, sweetheart.” I take a step toward him and give him a hug.
“Kira.” I reach for her too but her shoulders twitch away so I plant a kiss on her cheek instead.
“DS Forbes just left,” Mark says and they both stiffen. “Jason Davies wasn’t responsible for Billy’s disappearance. It was all bullshit. He made it up to get attention.”
Jake stares at him. “What?”
“It’s true,” I say. “The police looked into it and he was nowhere near Bristol the day Billy vanished. He was in Aberdeen. He was there for the two weeks.”
“Do they know that for sure? Maybe he traveled down here? You hear about it all the time, murderers randomly driving somewhere just to kill someone and then—”
“Jake.” Kira pulls on his arm. “Jake, please don’t—”
“Don’t what? Don’t get angry? My God. I could have . . . I nearly . . .” He looks at me and shakes his head. “I’m so sorry, Mum.”
He walks back out the back door without saying another word. Kira runs after him.
“Should we go after him?” Mark asks.
I shake my head. “No, let him go.”