They Find out their Grandparents are A lot Alike
“Linda, I don’t know why, but while I was under it came to me that we have several million dollars in cars at the house. Are they all insured?” “Our cars are corporate owned and insured internally.” “If we would have an accident we don’t have insurance cards to show we have coverage.” “Yes we do. I will show you when you get out of here. There are also corporate cards that list the people that can drive the cars. They are all in the glove box of each car. Yes, I got new cards that list you as the primary driver and me as secondary,” Linda replied. “You should be primary as they are your cars.” “They are our cars and you are the man of the house so you are the primary. That’s the Swedish way.”
“Whatever you say, sweetheart. That is the way it was with my grandparents, normally as long as grandma agreed. Grandma refused to use or even have electricity in their house. It was the work of the devil.”
“My grandparents are the same way. They have a wood burning cook stove, a wood burning stove, oil lamps or candles. They have a big old summer kitchen with a huge fireplace.”
“That sounds like my grandparent’s house. They raised their own food for the most part. They would get a calf and put it with their cow and fatten it up and have it butchered. The same with a pig and they raised their own chickens for eggs and to butcher. My great grandparents also had an old fashioned well that you cranked up the bucket.” I said.
“That’s unbelievable. That was the way my great-grandparent’s house was too!” Linda said. “What did your grandparents do?” I said.
“They were farmers. Grandpapa would use a tractor if he could borrow one and otherwise he used a herd of horses.” “You mean two horses. That is called a team of horses here. My grandfather was a farmer and Baptist Minister on Sunday. They were terrific people, they were closer to being my parents than my parents were. That is the reason I moved out when I was 16. I could not stand it at home. I moved out of Columbus as soon as I graduated and got divorced from my first wife. I did not even wait for graduation.”
“I had no idea that you were not close to your parents.” “That is why I knew how you felt when your dad could not stay for your birthday,” I said. “Promise me we will not be that way to our child or children,” Linda begged. “I promise I will love them almost as much as I love their mother. I could not love anyone else as much as I love you.” “Not even Donna?”
“Oh come on, please forget that. I never loved her not even a little bit.” “I know she just was a place for you to put it for a night. I think you call them one-night stands.” “That’s right, but that is not what happened.”
“Then what have you been doing for nine the months we have been together?” “Waiting till we get married.” “The other wives say that a guy cannot wait that long without getting it off. They say that their husbands could not wait until they had the baby. So they had to take care of them. When you get out of here I will take care of you so you don’t look someplace else.” “Sweetheart, I don’t mind waiting till we get married. You are worth it.”
A lady came in and said, “Here is your supper”. Linda said, “Let’s see what you got and then I will go get you real food. That looks terrible. There is a White Castle across the street. Would you like that?” “Of course you would like that,” Doug said, “That is where you ate most of the time or else Shakey’s.” “That’s right. I would have starved if wasn’t for WC.”
Linda said, “I will be back as soon as I can.” “Baby be careful,” We hugged and kissed. “If you don’t stop kissing me I never will get back. Which do you want kisses or food?” “Kisses!”
“Well me too, but the babies need food.” “Yes dear, I love you so much. Get your money out before you get there so that no one sees how much money you have.” “Yes dear. I will take it out here. I love you.” “Be careful, please.” “Yes dear.”
It seemed like it took her forever to get back. When she came back she had a big bag of burgers and a bag with fries, onion rings, two extra-large chocolate shakes and two extra-large sodas.
“Is there anything left in the store? How did you carry all of that?” “A nurse was there and helped me. I was sure glad because I did not know how I was going to get it all back here. Let’s pray and eat I am hungry now.” We prayed for the Lord to bless the food to our bodies and thanked him for bringing me through the surgeries.
Linda said, “I never thought that White Castle was good, but they have the best burgers I have ever eaten.” “Before we started going together, I almost lived on WC.” “Our lady friend, Elsa, was at the counter and she remembered us. She said, you put that money in my pocket didn’t you?” I said, “What money?” Elsa said, “I knows it was you and Wil, you two are great people. Most white people could care less about a Negro lady.” “I came from Sweden and we are Christians. I mean Wil and I are and we believe that all people are God’s people.” “Bless your heart, sweetie.” “I would like to invite you to our church if you would come.” Linda said. “I would love to, but I don’t has no way to get there.” “Wil and I could pick you up if you would like.”
“Where is Wil?” Elsa asked. “He is in the hospital across the street. He was shot by a burglar night before last. He just got off of critical care.”
“Oh my, coulds I comes and visit him?” “I know he would be thrilled to see you. He is in room 356.”
“I get off in an hour, but I have to catch a bus in an hour and half,” Elsa replied. “That will be great. If you miss your bus I will have our driver take you home. That way we will know where to pick you up on Sunday.”
Linda said, “Elsa is going to come and see you when she gets off work. She seems like such a sweet lady. I invited her to go to church with us Sunday.”
“That’s great but how is she going to get there. She does not have a car. She rides the bus all the time.” “I told her we would pick her up. I told her Albert could take her home and that way we know where she lives.”
“You are a real angel. You are so beautiful. If I have not told you that before.” “Only about a thousand times, but I love to hear it. I love you so much.”
Albert came in and Linda gave him a WC. “I got these when I was a boy they are very tasty.” The lady from WC came in and said, “Wil how are you doing?” “Great, now I have my WCs, my beautiful wife and some of my best friends.”
“Albert this is the lady that has helped keep me fed for years. I don’t know if it is the anesthesia or what but I cannot remember your name and I feel bad about that.”
She told Albert her name is Elsa and reached to shake his hand. He took hers and said, “You have done a fine job of keeping him fed.”
We talked for a while and Linda told Elsa how scared she was when she thought she might loose me and all about what happened.
Elsa said, “I done went and missed my bus.” Albert said, “If it is alright with My Lady, I could take you home. I am just sitting here waiting for them.” We said, “Sure and get directions to her house, we are taking her to church on Sunday.” They left and I laughed, “I wonder what she is going to say when she sees it is a Roles.” Linda said, “She will be shocked.”
“Well, I wonder if they are going to let you out today.” “I don’t know. I just might walk out. I am tired of this place and I want to get home with my baby.” “You mean babies.” “Right, babies. Say, you look like you’re getting little fat.” “Watch it shorty, I will have to beat you up again.”
“Who is going to beat who up?” “Hi, Jim I thought you did not know what happened. Jim this is my beautiful wife to be Linda.”
“At the counter they told me you were here with your wife. I thought you had sneaked one in on me.” “No, the guys that brought me in said that Linda was my wife, so there would be someone to make decisions for me if I could not.” “That was good thinking. I don’t understand how you got a shot off after being hit,” Jim said. “Come here, I did not. Linda did, but we cannot say that because she is here on a student visa and she could get in trouble for it.”
“Man, I would not think so, but who knows with immigration. Where are you from?” “Sweden, you could not tell by my accent?” “I thought so, but I did not want say something wrong.” “You won’t say anything to anybody about Linda shooting?” “Shooting that pile of trash. No, but that is too bad, I was going to recommend her for a meritorious civilian award.”
“I have the best award in the world, my Wil. I love him so very much!” Linda said. “I can tell that just by the way you look at each other. The reason I wanted to meet with you was to let you know, the last one of the mob was executed on last Monday. They are all gone now. I was a little concerned that this guy may have been part of the family, but he is just a low life burglar. He will go away for a long time. You were sure right when you said she is beautiful. You better watch out or I might run off with her.” Linda said, “No offense, but there is not a chance in the world!” Jim laughed, “None taken. Wil is one of the best guys I know. When I needed an arson investigator Wil spent hours of his own time working on the case and all he got for his work was a thanks from the governor and a bag of White Castles. That and the knowledge that those murdering slime balls are gone.”
`“Well I think he is the greatest guy I know, as long as I can keep him away from Donna. Ha, Ha!” Linda chuckled. “You are never going to let that go are you?” Jim said, “Who is this Donna? You cheated on this beautiful doll?” “No, I did not really cheat on her. It was before we ever went out. Donna made a pass at me and I needed someplace to put it so I almost had a one night stand with her. She had spread it around so Linda would hear. I think she thought it would break us up. I would not go out with her if she was the last girl on earth. Linda sure likes to get her digs in about it.” “Give the guy a break. I know he would not cheat on you,” Jim stated.
“Linda stand up. See how fat she is getting?” “Oh, somebody is going to have a baby,” Jim said surprised. “Sure enough and it is all her fault.” “Now wait a minute, I know you had something to do with this.” “I was sitting there minding my own business in the spa and she jumped on me and you know the rest.”
“That’s more than I needed to know. Are you happy about it?” “We are thrilled! It was my birthday present and he made it official.” “When we went to the doctor for our pre-wedding exam Linda had a fit, she weighed 116 pounds! She has gained 6 pounds, she 5’ 2” of beauty. I was 5’ 101/2” and 245 pounds. She said that she would have to lose some weight. The doctor said that she should eat right and he gave her some vitamins to take and told her they would watch her weight.”
“I cannot believe that I am going to be a dad. It is just unreal till I see how she is growing. I am the luckiest man in the world. You will have to come to our wedding on June 23, at 1000 hours. Do you think you will come? I would like for you to be my best man.” “I would love to, but you know how my work is. I never know where I will be. So you should get someone that you could count on. I am sorry. I have to go, you guys take care,” Jim said.
Albert came in, “Do you know where she lives? Down in the slums! I mean way down in the slums! She lives in a cardboard shanty. It is deplorable! Nobody should have to live like that.”
“That really upset you didn’t it?” “Yes, she seems like a nice lady.” “She has waited on me for three or four years and has always been terrific to me.”