The Honeymoon

These days when we talk of honeymoons, we often think of the ‘honeymoon period’, that first few giddy months of a relationship. The term honeymoon harks back to a golden past where even a kiss before marriage was considered risqué. It was the first time that a couple could truly be together and sleep together. The chances are that your honeymoon – should you choose to take one – is not going to be the first time you’ve ever shared a bed together. Some of you will have been together so long that it may seem unnecessary to take a honeymoon, others for just enough time to know that spending more than a few days alone in some far-flung five-star hotel will be enough to have you climbing the walls. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you are not in love, just that you’re not, well, in that honeymoon period anymore. But it would take a true cynic not to want to mark your civil partnership with some kind of quality time together, even if it’s just for a night somewhere special.

As you’ve probably gathered by now, the theme of this book is to: make your own rules. If you think of the honeymoon as a special holiday, then that’s probably what you’ll get, at best. If you think about it as a chance – whatever your budget – to do something that you’ve both shared a passion for, or always wanted to do together, then there’s a real opportunity to grab some of the profundity that is hinted at by the original meaning of honeymoon.

Whether it’s lying on a tropical beach, jumping out of a plane at 10,000 ft or holing up in a gale-lashed fisherman’s cottage somewhere near Aberdeen, both of you should think about what would be a perfect way to mark your honeymoon. Write this down. You may both have chosen the exact same villa on Gran Canaria, but probably you’ve come up with something different. Excellent: it’s these kind of differences that attracted you to each other in the first place. Now you’ve got an opportunity to do something that combines and builds on these desires. Make sure you’re in agreement and that you’ve got the budget and start planning. Yes, spontaneity is key to having a good time, and there should be plenty of room for ad-libbing wherever it is you go, but the golden rule to having a great holiday is sensible planning. We all know bad holiday experiences are a disappointment, but for a honeymoon it can be devastating.

where to go

While it’s unlikely that you’ve chosen distinctly gay-unfriendly Iran as your ideal honeymoon destination, there are many other places around the world, even within liberal countries, that won’t be so quick to share your newly wed joy. If you’re sure you just won’t be able to keep your hands off each other in public, then maybe you should head for one of the world’s ‘gay Meccas’ from London’s Soho to Sydney’s Oxford Street or San Francisco’s Castro. A honeymoon partying in a queer capital will suit some just fine, others may find it all just a little bit unromantic; and if you’re the jealous types, it might be wise to enjoy the tolerance of the location but stay off scene at night. There are, of course, plenty of other destinations worldwide where gay-friendly accommodation is easy to find, but where you can also escape the sex-charged atmosphere of the scene.

where to start

Traditionally, it’s the job of the groom to organise and book the honeymoon. Well, that’s not even going to get you to the airport, is it? Within your relationship, it’s probable that one of you enjoys logistical tasks a little more than the other. If one of you wants to take the lead, fine. Just make sure the other is happy to help out where needed. Attempt as much as possible to split the costs, even if it means making sacrifices. The more you feel that this is your shared experience the stronger it is likely to be.

research

Assuming you have both come up with some sort of happy compromise over the kind of honeymoon you want and roughly where to go, start thinking more carefully about what you want from your time away and find out everything you can about the destinations you are interested in. Read the guide books and magazines to get a feel for the atmosphere and facilities of the destination. It is ultimately a very personal decision, but communication and research is important to ensure you choose the honeymoon accommodation and resort that are right for you. One thing you’ll have to think about is organising the time off from work, which will also force both of you to ask, ‘How long does it to take to say “I Love You”?’ A honeymoon time period ranges from a dirty weekend to a month’s travelling the outback.

same-sex honeymoon packages

As with wedding ceremonies, you can always buy a tailor-made honeymoon package. These can range from the very basic right up to the most extravagant, including safaris or even your own private plane to ferry you between destinations. Breathtaking views from some of the world’s leading luxurious hotels have made European destinations like Italy appealing, as well as the romantic appeal of Venice and Verona. Among the more unusual destinations being offered now are rice boat cruises at Kerala on the southern tip of India and trips to Sri Lanka. But the average same-sex couple is likely to avoid the most predictable newly-wed destinations. Among the more diverse selections have been bookings to Vietnam.

honeymoon options

Before you decide where you want to go, perhaps you should think about the overall style of honeymoon you want.

Surprise

Everyone loves surprises, but the implicit message of a surprise honeymoon is that the person making the plans is somehow the leader or breadwinner of the relationship. The obvious thing to plan here is a holiday you will both enjoy and to make sure that you have a good idea of your partner’s expectations – then, basically, exceed them! Think about something your partner will really look forward to, and remember to let them know what sort of clothes to pack.

Relaxing

If all you want to do on your honeymoon is relax and spend some time together, then you should probably avoid the stress of long-haul flights. Why not try a cottage in the UK, which could serve you better than a gay resort in Ibiza?

Adventure

Your honeymoon could be an excuse to have a fabulous holiday together; if so, go for a bit of adventure. Whether it’s an African safari, white-water rafting or trekking across the Himalayas, make sure you do thorough research before venturing out.

Sun, sea and sand

Walking hand-in-hand on a white, sandy beach is, to some, the high definition of a honeymoon. As long as you’re not the type to get severely bored navel-gazing and pondering on the meaning of life whilst reading a Jackie Collins novel, a sweet and simple honeymoon will be a nice sunny resort.

Action

Walking, skiing, or rock climbing will sort out all the weight you’ve put on from having too much civil ceremony cake. If you’ve lasted this long in your relationship, there’ll be no harm in registering for a bit of extreme sport action.

Road trip

Disappear into the sunset, or as close as British weather can offer, Thelma & Louise style. Although driving can be stressful, this holiday will secure a strong bond between you, alternating who sits in the passenger seat, who reads the map, who loses the keys, etc, etc.

Best of both worlds

For the unromantic and more realistic couple, find a holiday that caters for both of your needs. Popular choices nowadays consist of dual centre breaks, combining a week of beach-based relaxation with a more active or city-based week.

top european honeymoon destinations

If you fancy a change of scene, but don’t want to travel to the other end of the world, Europe has some fantastic cities that could be just what you’re looking for.

Amsterdam

The heart of uninhibited Europe, Amsterdam is most famous for its canals, red light district and coffee-and-cannabis houses. Its laidback attitude means it is a youthful capital and a long-time favourite stage venue for the lads. Of course, it is also considered to be one of the most liberal cities for the gay community to enjoy. It has a large gay scene with hundreds of gay bars, discos, saunas, video stores, bookshops, restaurants and hotels. This is a honeymoon destination for a couple out for excitement rather than a quiet romance.

Dublin

Another classic stag destination with a high dosage of pubs offering the ultimate place to savour the tastiest pint of Guinness in the world. The city has its romantic and literary side too, Dublin has been home to some of the world’s greatest writers, notably, Joyce, Shaw, Wilde and victim of unrequited love W B Yeats. Count yourselves lucky.

The gay scene is as friendly, playful and eccentric as you can imagine, starting south of the river with the Stonewall Café, a mixed but favoured gay venue. It’s also a hotspot for practising homosexual vegetarians, with lots of New Age restaurants on offer. A hearty honeymoon for those who like a drink or two, or three or four.

Prague

Known as the ‘Golden City of a Hundred Spires’, Prague is a fairytale destination for a honeymoon crammed with romantic architecture. One of Europe’s most beautifully preserved cities, its heart-stopping skyline is dominated by castle turrets, minarets and domes. The city is bisected by the swirling Vltava river and overlooked by seven hills, one of which is surmounted by Prague castle and its royal parks and gardens. It is small enough to wander around on foot, but there are always horse-drawn carriages for evening rides.

The first gay pride event was held just recently, but Prague has quite a large and well-developed gay and lesbian scene. A mix of romance and culture with a side-serving of gayness, Prague is a perfect honeymoon destination.

Ibiza

Already a favourite destination for the glam gays and lesbians who frequent Ibiza town’s Calle de la Virgen, you’ll find gay bars, gay restaurants, gay shops and a lot of overly tanned bodies. Ibiza is a prime location for same-sex honeymoons – particularly among same-sex party animals, presumably.

Ibiza is just a hop, skip and jump from other gay-friendly destinations, such as Barcelona and Palma. Ibiza town itself together with Figueretes, a suburb to the south of the city, forms the gay hub.

Reykjavik

This city is culturally very active, with a lively array of museums, cafés and music venues where you might even catch a glimpse of Björk. Alcohol is not cheap, but that doesn’t stop the locals from getting absolutely wasted. There’s not much in the way of a gay scene, but if that’s not what you’re after then Reykjavik is an ice cool honeymoon destination for those looking to escape the smell of amyl. And taking a bath in the steaming water of the geysers is high on anyone’s romantic to-do lists.

If you’re the type of modern gay couple looking to fit into a homogenous society, Iceland is the ideal, albeit expensive, honeymoon city. With a mere 300,000 Icelanders, you will receive a warm welcome. It’s also ideal for a weekend break or shorter honeymoon, being a little under three hours from the UK.

Rome

If you’re looking for a place that smashes the romance barometer look no further than Rome. History, culture, religion, style and cuisine, Rome has it all. With its ancient architecture making a perfect backdrop to your honeymoon snaps. You can even trot around on a Vespa with your partner packed on the back to really get in the spirit of the city.

You’ll also be able to find a host of gay places to stay, eat, relax and party at, with quite an uninhibited selection of men’s bars, most of them including showers, strippers and videos! Steer clear of this wrong side of Rome if you’re going for the romance and not the smut.

around the world

If you really want to push the boat out and make this a holiday to remember, here are some great suggestions that take you further afield.

Las Vegas

If you’ve already gone down the Elton John route on your civil partnership, you’d be wise to spend your honeymoon amid the bright lights of Las Vegas. This oasis of decadence and kitsch glamour is home to 19 of the 20 biggest hotels in the world; and let’s face it, after the money you’ll have blown on this shindig you’ll be up for winning some money back in the casinos.

Bali

Known as the Island of the Gods, Bali has been a favourite haunt of Europeans looking for a cultured tropical island ever since it became a Mecca for artists in the 1930s. With a landscape of tropical rainforest, the island is studded with mystical shrines and Hindu temples and has a culture of traditional music and dance. It also has a thriving outdoor rave scene, with thumping beach parties never too far from the serenity.

New York

For those of you who can’t get enough of the ghetto, what better way to spend a honeymoon than in the city that never sleeps. Offering round-the-clock entertainment, you and your partner will be overwhelmed by everything on offer, particularly if you’ve been before or know a good guide. Shopping at Fifth Avenue or cruising in Greenwich Village, it’s all there for you!

travel advice

Depending on where you are jetting off to, there are always things to take into consideration, such as immunisation and vaccinations, and also countries with poor human rights records that would be particularly unsuitable for a same-sex honeymoon. You should also check that your destination is not going through any political or social upheaval at the time of travel and that there is no severe warning or disruption by natural disaster. If you are worried about a specific destination, the UK Government has a daily updated website to help advise you. See also other sources of travel info given later.

before you go

E-mail yourself

E-mail yourself all the important information: airline numbers, credit card phone numbers, passport and driving licence numbers. This way if your documents are lost or stolen, you will be able to access your missing details.

Tickets, money, passport!

Any way you want to remember it, these three vital things are all easily forgotten on your day of departure, especially when you’re most probably still recovering from the party. If you forget everything else, it doesn’t matter, so concentrate on the basics.

Travel insurance

Remember: travel operators will insist that you have cover before they’ll send you on holiday. However, they cannot demand that you buy a policy from them, provided the cover you have is comparable. Apart from covering items that might be stolen while you’re on holiday, including small amounts of cash, travel insurance offers many other important benefits. Policies usually include cover for medical expenses – useful if you fall ill or if you’re unfortunate enough to be attacked and injured. You must disclose any pre-existing medical conditions.

If you’re travelling within the EU, don’t forget your European Health Insurance Card, which has replaced the old paper E111 form.

Travellers with chronic diseases

If your partner suffers from a chronic disease, or is HIV positive, certain circumstances, measures and limitations have to be taken into consideration.

All vital medication should be brought with you in your hand luggage, in sufficient quantities for the whole holiday, as experience has shown that your suitcase could end up somewhere completely different from where you actually land! Many countries have strict regulations on bringing medicine into the country, so a statement written by your GP saying that the medicine in question is vital and for your own exclusive use can ease your arrival. If it is a serious illness, such as HIV infection, you are unlikely to be able to obtain a pre-travel health statement; in connection with an ordinary insurance policy. You should think carefully about medical facilities in your chosen location and find out, for example, if a patient suffering from AIDS-related illness will be able to receive suitable respiratory care and medicines.

top tips for insurance

top tips for travelling

honeymoon checklist

Travel agent name

celebrity wedding

John and Jackie Kennedy made their honeymoon destination Acapulco world famous just for, well, going there. Choose an individual destination and start a trend of your own.

vox pop

Max, 39, and Sebastian, 33, Henley-on-Thames

‘Bringing on the tradition of a honeymoon for a civil union initially felt a bit silly. We’d been together for the last four years and already had fantastic holidays together. We opted for a long weekend away in Paris. We decided that the destination should at least be a romantic one, but then kept the duration of stay short so that we get back to our lives and got back to being normal, only this time as civil partners! With a honeymoon, it’s really each to his or her own. I wouldn’t discourage others to have a really long holiday, it just wasn’t for us. We both definitely feel that a honeymoon, however long or short, is necessary, especially after all the

stress incurred in the previous months!’