Love Is All There Is

‘That Love is all there is, Is all we know of Love.’ – Emily Dickinson

So, civil partnership has arrived. What will the future bring now Britain has sat up, and taken notice of legally acknowledged LGBT unions? How will this impact on the gay community as a whole and change the way gay men and lesbians conduct relationships?

In the past, lesbians and gay men especially had to conduct their relationships in a covert manner. Homosexuality was illegal in Britain until 1967 and many homosexuals were unable to express publicly their natural thoughts and sexual desires, the great playwright Oscar Wilde being one such example. Even Queen Victoria did not acknowledge that such a phenomenon as ‘lesbianism’ existed. So haven’t we come a long way!

Throughout the 1980s and 1990s, gay people gradually became more visible in society and gay scenes started to spring up, particularly in larger metropolitan areas. Homosexuals were increasingly able to be far more open about their relationships, and although there were sometimes cultural and religious dilemmas with being openly queer, the taboo and stigma of homosexuality was finally being dispelled.

But what could gay and lesbian couples really aspire to that involved legally recognised commitment, a union that was respected in government like heterosexual marriage? Of course, LGBT couples have been able to live together, and even adopt children together in recent times, but the opportunity of being able to spend a lifetime together hasn’t pasted any legally binding glue or the cement of traditional marriage. Of course, civil partnership is not for everyone, in the same way that marriage is just a scrap of paper to some heterosexual partnerships; but it’s all about having a legally recognised choice that society at large will acknowledge and respect. Of course, conservative religious and right-wing groups will be less forthcoming in accepting civil partnerships, but it would near impossible to wipe out pockets of homophobia with one piece of legislation, however progressive and pioneering it may be. However, at least with the Civil Partnership Act, the Government has passed something inherently positive and life-changing to reaffirm a belief that LGBT couples can, and will, make long-term commitments to one another.

But let’s stop talking about all this formal business for a moment and talk about what’s really important: love! Surely that is one of the main reasons why the majority of gay men and lesbians will be tying the knot in the foreseeable future. I think that this should be the primary reason why any couple chooses to get hitched. It may sound a little cheesy and contrived, but love is a beautiful, sacred entity and is a fundamental part of the ceremonial vernacular insomuch as you commit to cherishing and honouring your partner ‘’till death do you part’ – scary prospect!

Of course, another crucial consideration is to protect each other’s assets and to marry for financial means. While this is perfectly acceptable for couples looking to have economical peace of mind both today and tomorrow, I hope that civil partnership doesn’t pave the way for marriages of convenience, i.e. a marriage entered into for expediency rather than love. After political groups like Stonewall have fought so hard to get us on level pegging with our heterosexual counterparts, why exploit civil partnerships and all that it stands for? Andy Forrest, the organisation’s communications officer, has said, ‘I think having civil partnerships is going to mean a lot more security, financially, without the need to seek legal recourse, which in turn means less stress and that will be beneficial.’ So let’s have less stress in our lives and show the country how stable, healthy gay relationships are an important aspect of contemporary society values. Let’s keep those dissolution (divorce) rates down and show the sceptics how loyal and devoted we can be. And maybe even shift some stereotypes in the process too.

You should remember that by and large this book is about civil partnership, and although it is virtually the same as marriage in all but the name, it is different and we should embrace that distinction. We have the chance to really express ourselves, our values and our ways of life in an alternative marital environment. Throughout 2006, celebrations will mark some of the first civil partnerships in the country, and it will be fascinating to see how far and in which direction the market goes over the forthcoming years. Just as in any niche of society, the LGBT community will continue to evolve, grow and develop. We’ve gone from moustaches to mullets, dungarees to dykerama so who knows where the future of the gay community lies? With same-sex male and female couples having the option of a legally binding union, the community as we have known it will be forever changed and adapted, and this must surely be a positive step forward for each and every LGBT individual and their friends and family.

So, trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever. Make that commitment and show the world that civil partnership isn’t a gloomy life sentence! Go on, it might just be one of the most important and rewarding decisions of your life.

Goodnight and good luck.