Chapter 27
Dear Natasha,
My aunt Beatrice was the official funeral maven. She was the first to show up and the last to leave. She helped with funeral arrangements, told people which foods to bring, washed dishes, selected the hymns, and wrote the obituaries. Are there people who do that for a living? It would make life so much easier.
Need Help in Monks Misery, Maryland
Dear Need Help,
There are funeral event planners, funeral consultants, and funeral event coordinators who can do exactly what you’re describing.
Natasha
“Ihope these aren’t the plants Kelsey was hoping we would water,” said Nina.
“Oy. Somebody made a mess out there.” I stepped outside. Whoever had done it had left a shoeprint in the middle of the dirt. “Guess we’d better notify Wolf.”
I called him on my cell phone. While we waited for him to arrive, Nina and I had a quick look around the house, but everything else was in order.
“Think Kelsey heard someone out there last night and that’s what spooked her?” asked Nina.
“That would be my guess.”
* * *
Wolf went through the house again and took a close look at the damage to the garden. “Don’t clean this up yet. I’d like to get someone over here to take photographs of that shoeprint. Is there any way you can get in touch with Kelsey?”
Bashfully, I told him about the white cloth I was supposed to tie on a bench.
To my surprise, Wolf smiled. “That Kelsey is one smart lady.”
“Are you going to put out an all-points bulletin on her to find her?” asked Nina.
Wolf gave her the look of a patient parent. “She’s not under arrest, Nina. I’m not happy that she skipped town. But it’s not illegal for her to leave. Not yet anyway.”
While we waited for the crime scene crew to arrive, someone banged the door knocker. Since Wolf was with us, I didn’t hesitate to open the door.
Jay Charles stood on the stoop. “Sophie!” He blinked in surprise. “I didn’t expect to see you here. Is Kelsey all right? I recognized Wolf parking on the street.”
“Please come in. I suspect he’d like to know if you heard any noises last night.”
Jay stiffened. Whispering, he asked, “You didn’t tell him about the ghost voices, did you?”
I was pretty sure I had tried not to mention that to anyone. “No. Have you made any progress?”
A flush of pink crept up his face. “I can’t believe that I, a man who makes a living looking for facts—concrete facts from which one can draw conclusions—am even discussing ghosts. I admit the research on my house has been fascinating, though. I wish the building could speak to me. It saw so many tragedies and intrigues, as well as happy times.”
“So you no longer think you have ghosts?” I inquired.
He took a deep breath and beamed. “During the Revolutionary War, the house belonged to a Molly Jones. Molly’s husband was killed by the British, leaving her a very angry, but wealthy young widow. In retaliation, she hosted formal dinner parties where spies could meet to pass on information. Apparently, some of the spies would leave information with her. She hung a pink petticoat out to dry with the laundry as a signal that she had information to be picked up.”
“Amazing!” I said. “How exciting to know that information that passed through your home may have helped the country!”
“I’m told women weren’t respected at the time, so they were generally overlooked as sources of news and secrets. They think that’s how Molly managed to keep it up without being suspected.”
“Do you think Molly is haunting your house?” I asked.
Jay cocked his head and lifted his shoulders. “I’m still not completely sold on the existence of ghosts. I haven’t discussed this with many people, mostly discreet historians. I don’t want it getting out that I’ve gone loony! However, it has been suggested by some that the murmurings I hear may be from Molly and her guests. It’s true that I only hear them in my dining room. The odd thing is that I never heard them until recently. Certainly not when my wife was living. We’d have discussed anything that unusual.”
“Would you feel better if I came over and listened the next time you hear them? I’d be happy to do that.”
“I couldn’t impose on you. It only happens late at night.”
“It wouldn’t be an imposition at all. It’s not as though I live far away. I would be interested in hearing Molly and her friends.”
“Thank you for your offer. You’re very kind.”
Wolf strode up. “Good morning, Dr. Charles. Did you hear any unusual noises last night?”
Jay shot me a desperate glance, which I interpreted to mean that he hoped I wouldn’t mention the ghosts. “As a matter of fact I did. It was well past midnight, probably around one in the morning. It sounded like something crashed and broke out on the street. I sat up in bed but didn’t hear anything more, so I went back to sleep.”
I had no idea what Wolf was thinking, but I couldn’t help thinking Jay wasn’t particularly helpful. After all, we already knew it had happened. Jay hadn’t provided any information of interest other than the time that it happened.
Jay followed Wolf to the little side garden where the pots had smashed.
“Wow. They’re a good distance apart. I guess the sound of the first pot breaking woke me and then I heard the second one,” said Jay. “If Gavin still lived here I would think it might have been some kind of prank by youngsters.”
“Have you noticed anyone lurking around on the street or in the alley behind your house?” asked Wolf.
“No, but I must admit that I haven’t been on the lookout for anything of the sort. A lot of people came here to the Habermans’ yesterday since Natasha informed us we had to come. So there was a good bit of traffic. Anyone would have blended in. I didn’t know half the people in attendance.”
“Did Hollis mention to you that he feared his food was being poisoned?”
Jay stared at Wolf wide-eyed. “He thought Kelsey was trying to kill him? He never breathed a word about it to me.” Jay staggered to a sofa in the living room and sank onto it. “Roughly a year ago, Hollis told me about an investment that was going to skyrocket. I should have recognized that he wasn’t a terrific source of investment advice. After all, he was a lawyer, not a broker. Anyway, I put a lot of my money into it and took a very bad financial hit when it crashed and burned. Hollis lost money, too. And now that I know he was afraid someone was poisoning him, I can’t help but wonder if he recommended the investment to someone else who lost everything and killed him in revenge.”
Wolf observed Jay quietly. “Did you murder Hollis?”
A flicker of shock crossed Jay’s face. But he recovered immediately. In a subdued tone, he said, “No. Hollis was my friend. He made a bad call, but I was the one who greedily invested far too much on something speculative at best. No one forced me to make that investment. I was shattered for a few days, but Hollis lost a bundle, too. He meant well.”
He spoke so calmly and rationally that I believed him. I thought Wolf must, too. Surely a murderer wouldn’t be so elegantly composed.
The door knocker sounded again. I opened the door to the crime scene crew. Nina, Jay, and I spent the next hour watching them. As far as I could tell, they didn’t find anything of particular interest.
One of them climbed into Gavin’s tree house. He came out grinning from ear to ear. “That takes me back. I wish I could sit up there reading comic books and listening to the birds. I bagged a couple of candy bar wrappers, but I doubt that anyone who would break huge flowerpots would have taken the time to have a snack in the tree house.”
After they left, Jay brought over two large planters for the rose trees. The three of us repotted them and hoped for the best. Kelsey could always change the pots when she came home if she didn’t like them.
I locked up Kelsey’s house, then Nina and I went home to change out of our dusty clothes. We met again in half an hour to walk down to the waterfront in search of the bench where I was supposed to leave an all-clear sign for Kelsey.
The mock lighthouse was part of a waterfront restaurant. People rested on four double-length benches in an open area in front of the lighthouse with the Potomac River merely feet away. I noted how easy it would have been for Gage to fall into the river unnoticed.
“Which one do you suppose it is?” asked Nina.
“Good question.” We walked around them all, looking for some sign.
It wasn’t until I stood with my back to the mock lighthouse and gazed out at the water that I spotted a camera mounted high on a pole and aimed right at me.
On a hunch, I pulled out my phone and searched the Internet for webcams in Old Town. Sure enough, I found one at the marina and saw myself in the image.
“Look at this.” I beckoned to Nina.
She checked the image and looked up at the camera. “Wolf is right. Kelsey is pretty sharp.”
Nina and I waved at the camera, just in case Kelsey was watching.
“I guess it’s that first bench.” I looked forward to the day we could hang a white scarf there.
On the way back we stopped for barbecued chicken sandwiches. The first people I saw when we entered the area of outdoor tables were Humphrey and his mother. It was too late to dodge them. I smiled sweetly, waved, and steered Nina to a table on the other side.
“What’s with you?” asked Nina.
“Humphrey’s mother is oddly rude to me. I have no idea why she doesn’t like me, but she actually told me to leave her son alone!”
“Aah. Once upon a time he was crazy mad for you. Maybe his feelings have returned.”
“That’s all I need.”
After we ordered, Humphrey dropped by our table. Pale and wan, he pulled out a chair and sat down with us.
But before he could say anything, Nina demanded, “So what’s your mother’s problem with Sophie?”
Poor Humphrey. I didn’t think he could be any paler. A red flush grew on his cheeks and the tips of his ears. “Has she been unfriendly?”
“Don’t worry about it, Humphrey.” I patted his poor little pale hand. “She’ll be going home soon anyway.”
“Maybe. She might stay longer. She has taken a real interest in Jay.”
“But she’s much older than Jay. She could almost be his mother!” Nina’s brow creased in disbelief.
“Love knows no age, Nina.” Humphrey leaned toward me. “I’m sorry if she was rude, Sophie. Do you remember a girl in high school named Brandi Truett?”
The name rang a bell with me. “A loud redhead?”
“That’s the one. My mother wanted to bring Brandi with her to match us up—a horrifically misguided love match. Can you imagine me with her?”
“No, I can’t. But that was back in tenth grade. She’s probably gorgeous now.”
“Not so much. I saw her the last time I visited my mom. She talks like a foghorn.”
Nina laughed so hard she almost spit a gulp of her soda.
“At the time, I just wanted Mom to stop trying to match us up, so I may have mentioned that you have ruined me for all other women.”
Nina laughed even harder.
“I didn’t think about what might happen if Mom actually saw you. And I might have reminded her of my interest in you when she suggested she bring Brandi with her on this visit.”
At least it wasn’t some etiquette breach or hateful thing I had said or done. “All is forgiven. I shall bear this burden with grace now that I know I’m saving you from Foghorn Brandi.”
“Thanks for being a good sport. I have to get back to Mom, but I wanted to know if you think Natasha is secretly in love with me.”
Nina laughed so hard that she actually gasped for air. I hoped she wouldn’t fall off her chair. I delicately kicked her under the table.
Dear heaven! I hated to let Humphrey down. But as usual, I guessed it was better to tell him the truth. “Probably not.”
“My mother says Natasha is exhibiting all the signs of infatuation.”
Uh oh. Was this how his mother intended to get rid of her rival for Jay’s interest?
“Sophie, you can’t imagine how she kissed me at your dinner the other night. I’ve never been kissed like that in my life. It was . . . full of passion!”
“Honey, I think she may have been confused when she collapsed.” There, that was a nice way of putting it. It allowed him to save face.
“Well, she sure wasn’t confused when she woke up and kissed me. She wouldn’t let go of my head.”
I would have to take another tack. “Have you heard from her since then?”
“She was at the gathering for Hollis, but she was very busy introducing my mom around.”
I suspected that what seemed like a generous and kind thing to Humphrey was in reality Natasha’s way of steering his mother away from Jay. I seized the mention of Hollis as an excuse to change the subject. Wolf had already provided answers, but I was desperate to distract Humphrey. “Did your friend ever give you the result on the poison tests?”
“I should have called you with them. I apologize, Sophie.”
“And?”
“They tested for rat poison, ethanol, which is in antifreeze, a couple of drugs known to cause breathing difficulties, belladonna, and arsenic. That’s hardly a comprehensive test. I understand Wolf has ordered additional testing. But so far the mac and cheese, the meatball sandwich, the cheesecake, the pasta Alfredo, and the doughnuts came up clean.”
“In other words, we still don’t have a definitive answer.”
“Right. But some of the most common poisons have been ruled out. I’d better get back to Mom. If you see Natasha, tell her I send my best.”
I shook out of my thoughts about Hollis and poisons. “If you want Natasha, I suggest you wear bow ties.”
Humphrey stood up. “Women find them sexy?”
“I can’t speak for all women, but apparently Natasha does.”
“Thanks for the tip, Soph.”
Humphrey returned to his table about the time our sandwiches arrived.
I looked at Nina. “So it appears that Hollis was probably wrong about Kelsey poisoning him.”
“But the important thing is that he was afraid he was being poisoned. That indicates some kind of problem in his life. He thought someone was after him,” she said as she lifted her sandwich and eyed it.
“What if it wasn’t Kelsey he was afraid of? Could Cindy have poisoned Hollis’s food?” I stared at my barbecued chicken sandwich. “Seems unlikely.”
Something didn’t add up. Kelsey had Hollis on a heart-healthy diet. Unless the cops took all the fattening food from Kelsey’s refrigerator, there wasn’t anything like cheesecake or doughnuts or meatball sandwiches at her house. “How could I have been so stupid?”
Nina gazed at me as she chewed.
“Don’t you see? Kelsey had Hollis on a diet. She wanted him alive. She wanted him to be healthy. The foods he gave me were lunch foods that he must have bought. He was cheating on his diet.”
I smacked my hand flat on the table. “It wasn’t Kelsey whom Hollis feared might poison him. It was someone at work!”