38: The Challenges of Being a Caregiver
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.
JESUS WAS THE SMARTEST PERSON who ever lived, and when He speaks, we need to listen. He calls to those who are laboring and feeling the pressure of the task: “Come to me . . . and I will give you rest.” He tells us not to be anxious.
Yet caregivers do feel anxious at times. We feel the load of caregiving. We need to give ourselves permission to rest and manage our self-care.
The role of a caregiver is both challenging and fulfilling. Caregivers often place the care receiver ahead of themselves and neglect their own emotional, physical, and mental health. It’s so important to have boundaries and look after your well-being; without this, you won’t be able to survive. A spouse said to me recently, “My husband has Alzheimer’s, and now I’m in the hospital.”
Here are four self-care points I would suggest you consider in this crucial role.
Manage your stress. Identify what your stress symptoms are. Discern between what you can’t control and what you can control. Pay attention to warning signs, such as lack of sleep and becoming more irritable. Give yourself permission to take breaks. That means asking for help and engaging in activities that are more life-giving. Caregivers find it a challenge to ask for help. Someone recently said to me that it’s easier to give than to receive. Think about practical responses when people ask, “How can I help you?”
Build a partnership with your physician. Many will discuss the issues of their care receiver and yet will not talk about their own issues. You will need to do some homework here to prepare for these appointments.
Incorporate exercise into your weekly schedule. This is “me time.” Don’t allow other demands to replace it. You don’t need to make a major time commitment. Walking for twenty minutes, three times per week will be beneficial.
Listen to your emotions. We’re emotional beings, and our emotions are messages to us. Feelings such as guilt, anger, disappointment, and resentment are key messages we receive from our emotions. Take action, because these emotions won’t go away.
My message to you is that you need to take control of your self-care. I recognize that this can be challenging. But Jesus says, “Learn from me . . . and you will find rest for your souls.”
Questions
- What challenges do you face in being a caregiver? What are the rewards?
- How are you doing? We have three areas of life —spiritual, physical, and emotional. On a scale from 1 to 10, where are you at in each?
- What can you do to increase your well-being in each of these three areas?
- Jesus says, “Learn from me.” What do you need to learn from Jesus?