Little-brains with their puny bodies moved in and out of focus on screen, singing about love and feeling awesome and having fun. Ferrassie had been swinging between numbness and panic since her bashing and interrogation. If she sat very still and concentrated on something, like the communal screen, she stayed in the numb zone. She kept her breath shallow and resisted even blinking, focusing on one point and letting the images and sounds swirl around her.
The panic came when she let herself think about what would happen when the bus to medical research finally arrived. Then she wanted to run or scream. She could do neither. She was confined to the workers’ barracks, and if her whereabouts were ever in question, cameras and Neo detectors all over the city could locate her by her clone tattoo.
Daylight dimmed until the lights in the rec room blinked on. The reek and chatter of day workers soon filled the air. The couch cushion sank a little as someone sat beside her. Ferrassie didn’t move, kept her focus dead ahead. It could only be one of two people. Every one of her dorm mates, the Neos she’d considered her buddies, avoided her now. Except for Shuqba and Amud.
‘Here, I brought you some soup.’ Shuqba waved a bowl beneath her nose.
Ferrassie hadn’t been that bothered about coppers when she’d stayed on the right side of the law. Now they represented LC and all the dramas in her life. Every time she saw Shuqba she got a stab of fear in her chest that she had come to tell her it was time to go to medical research.
‘I’m not hungry.’
‘You should eat something. Amud tells me you haven’t eaten anything since yesterday.’
Amud. His sooking and blubbering and smoochy claims of undying love made it harder to get numb. Sometimes she wished he was less loyal. Sometimes she wished he would leave her alone. Because that’s what she truly was. Alone.
‘I don’t have any currency. I’m restricted to Nutri-Shakes,’ Ferrassie said.
‘I know. I used my credits. I had enough for an extra bowl of soup. Please – it’ll go to waste if you don’t eat it.’
Ferrassie held out a hand for the bowl. ‘Ta.’ With any luck Shuqba would go away if she ate. She took a spoonful of the thin savoury broth and her stomach clenched in protest.
‘Also … there’s someone here to see you.’ Shuqba perched on the edge of the couch.
Ferrassie shifted her eyeballs towards Shuqba, using as few muscles as possible.
‘That Sapien truck driver. Lars. He’s in the foyer.’
‘Lars?’ Why would he want to see her? He was probably angry at her for dropping him in it.
‘He said he wants to see how you are.’
Ferrassie shrugged. They had made a connection during the trip. What did any of that matter now? He would be another reminder of all the dramas.
‘I’m not keen to see him.’
‘Perhaps that’s for the best. He’s being investigated for anti-LeaderCorp activities. Associating with him could look bad for you.’
Ferrassie frowned. Since when did Shuqba – or even Amud, for that matter – decide what was best for her?
‘I’ll inform him and then I’ll come and sit with you for a while. Perhaps we can get you showered and into some fresh clothes.’
The last thing Ferrassie wanted was Shuqba sitting with her, babying her. Couldn’t she see there was no point in eating, showering or changing? Ferrassie wouldn’t have Shuqba or Amud or anyone else making decisions about her life. It was the last scrap of control she had.
‘Know what? I changed my mind. Bring Lars up. I want to see him.’
Shuqba blinked and sucked in her cheeks. ‘All right. I’ll fetch him.’ She stood stiffly, like she was about to crack it. Ferrassie nearly laughed for the first time in days.
Someone logged on to the Keeping Up with the Cavemen channel. Ferrassie’s panic built. Her favourite show had become her biggest trigger. She put her soup bowl down on the table and went back to her bed in the dorm.
Amud came out of the shower room wearing only his briefs. ‘Hey. I was coming to see you.’ He sat and rubbed her back with a circular motion. His muscled body was close to hers. She wanted to sink into the oblivion of it. Anything to keep the thoughts and panic away.
She couldn’t. Lars was coming to see her.
Shuqba and Lars found her in the dorm. Ferrassie sat up, surprised at how chuffed she felt at the sight of the little-brain. Amud stood and looked Lars up and down.
‘Ferrassie. How are you?’ Lars had an uncertain half-smile on his mug. His hands were shoved into the front pockets of his slacks and his narrow shoulders were shrugged forward.
‘I’ll leave you to it.’ Shuqba gave Lars a filthy look. ‘You can find your own way out, right?’
‘Yes, thank you.’
Shuqba cleared out and Lars and Amud both stood awkwardly by the bed. Amud’s fists were clenched.
Ferrassie swung her legs over and placed her feet on the floor. ‘Can you give us a moment, Mud?’
‘Sure, right. I’ll see you later.’ He leaned over, gave her a smooch on the forehead and dragged his feet as he crossed the dorm.
‘Have a seat,’ Ferrassie said to Lars. She straightened her blanket and pretended to wipe her nose on her shoulder as she took a whiff of her armpit. She was ripe. She probably looked dodgy too. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d brushed her teeth.
‘Thank you.’ Lars sat on the bed beside her. ‘Officer Shuqba brought me up to speed. I’m terribly sorry about the way events unfolded.’
Ferrassie held her arms close to her sides to keep her reeking pits contained and tried not to breathe in Lars’s direction.
‘I’m sorry if I messed things up for you. You would’ve gotten into the city no worries if I wasn’t there. They wouldn’t have searched your cargo and found those slummies either. And now you’re being investigated by LC. That’s gotta be my fault.’
‘No. It’s not your fault. My troubles have nothing to do with what happened the other night. My alleged anti-LeaderCorp activities have been under investigation for a while now.’ Lars lowered his voice and glanced around the room. ‘Is there some-where we can talk more privately?’
Rubbernecking Neos lingered in the dorm, pretending to be busy folding their clothes, straightening their beds or cutting their toenails.
‘Let’s head up to the greenspace.’ Ferrassie stood and made for the stairwell.
‘Excellent.’ Lars followed her up the stairs. ‘So, was that chap your boyfriend?’
‘Nah. He’s a good one though. We have a casual thing.’ Ferrassie opened the door to the rooftop greenspace. Was Lars into her? Little-brains had never checked her out in that way before. Not that she’d ever cared. Spoilt, entitled little-brains with their generic, wimpy bodies had never interested her. She didn’t believe the species were meant to mix, even though the genetic evidence showed the original Neandertals had interbred with little-brains. A lot. She’d never been able to understand why they would want to. On the other hand, something about the way Lars looked at her and the way his mouth quirked to one side when he spoke was … sexy.
It was pointless. Even if she wasn’t being sent off to medical research any day, a relationship with a little-brain would be enough to land her there.
They leaned over the roof railing. Night had fallen and the streets below streamed with the lights of solar cars, trucks and bicycles. It was the rush hour before curfew. All those lives carrying on while Ferrassie’s was skidding to a stop. She wanted to spit off the edge and let it hit the ground. Like everything else now, it would be pointless. Before long a cleaning bot would come through and disinfect the street once again. Everything was out of her control. She wouldn’t miss City 1. It wasn’t for her or her kind.
‘There are some things I want to tell you.’ Lars turned towards her. ‘The truth is I was involved with an anti-LeaderCorp group a year or so ago. We didn’t get up to much. The odd meeting where we complained and discussed LeaderCorp’s human rights abuses and denial of democratic elections. Someone, a traitor, lifelogged one of the meetings and sent it to the authorities. Luckily for me, I missed that particular meeting. The others were stripped of their citizenship and ejected from the city. They had no evidence to implicate me, but they had my name. They’ve been trying to pin something on me ever since.’ Lars paused and looked out over the city. ‘I fear our association has done you more harm than it’s done me.’
‘Wouldn’t matter if I’d come into the city with you or someone else. Either way I’m screwed.’
A tear rolled down Ferrassie’s cheek – the first she had shed since returning from her Neo Control interrogation. Amud had done enough blubbing for the both of them.
Lars put his arm across her shoulder and she crumpled into him. It was the most comfort she’d felt in days.
‘I have an idea,’ he said, when her sobs had ceased.
Ferrassie wiped her tears with the sleeve of her pyjamas.
‘An idea that could get you out of medical research. But I’m not sure I can pull it off.’ He attempted a frown with his smooth, line-free mug. ‘I still have some contacts in resistance groups. I’m hoping to get in touch with someone who could help you.’
‘That could be dangerous for you. Especially if LC are watching.’ Ferrassie had never before considered how dangerous life could be for little-brain Citizens. LC’s giant fist clamped onto everyone. ‘I don’t want you to risk yourself for me.’ Some part of her kind of did, though. The worst that would happen to him would be making a new life outside the city walls. The Demi-slums were rough. Facing torture and death at the medical research facility was rougher.
‘Don’t worry. I’ll be careful.’
Ferrassie nodded, although she doubted there was anything anyone could do against the unstoppable, all-seeing force of LC. Even the idea of anti-LC groups was a joke. LC would swat them away like flies. Something in Lars’s eyes gave her hope though. She trusted him. If he said he could help her, she believed him.