For the first time in years Alida lay in bed without having to tell Graycie to shove over. She couldn’t get her last glimpse of Graycie out of her mind. Picturing that look of betrayal and grief added a bead of misery to her already very long string. When Graycie was older she’d understand. When she clocked all the benefits of being a full Citizen she might even be grateful. She’d realise Alida hadn’t sent her away because she stopped loving her, but because she loved her too much.
Alida sat up. She kept picking at the itchy scab of a thought. Maybe she’d sent Graycie away to make her own life better. Maybe everything she’d done had been pure selfishness. And for the dosh.
The shack that had been home to the three of them now seemed empty and pointless. The oily stench of the last meal she’d shared with Graycie – fried field mushrooms and nettles – still lingered. A neatly folded pile of Graycie and Mum’s threads filled one corner; Alida didn’t have the heart to take them to the recycler. Charcoal stick figures and smiling suns gazed down from one plywood wall. Faded cardboard pictures of colourful fish, fields of flowers and snowy peaks covered another wall. Those were Mum’s. They’d been there for as long as Alida could remember.
Heaps of times Alida had wished Mum and Gray would make themselves scarce so she could wank, or bring home a bedfriend, or just read a book without them both gabbing on and banging around. Now all she wanted was both of them back.
She needed to talk to someone. The only person she had left was Zave. She turned on the communications functions of her implant. Her inbox pinged and pinged and pinged. A flood of messages from Freel and Ganya. Her stomach fell. She didn’t give a shit what Freel thought of her because she never wanted another one of his gigs ever again, but he had a shitload of clout in the Demi-Settlements.
She trashed all of them except the most recent message from Ganya: Alida, I understand you not wanting to do this kind of work. It’s not for everyone. However, you’ve ticked off Freel. He’ll never let you work for him again. Keep out of his way for a while. He’ll cool down eventually.
Freel and Ganya were a hassle she didn’t need right now. She’d happily keep out of their way.
She called Zave and he answered almost immediately.
‘So you’re up then,’ Alida said, mouthing the words silently as she sent them on invisible currents from her own brain to Zave’s.
‘I was waiting for my next dose of painkiller.’
‘Painkiller? Why?’ Alida lay down and closed her burning eyes.
‘I got into some trouble, Al.’
‘What happened?’ Alida rubbed Graycie’s blanket against her cheek.
‘One of my new clients didn’t wanna pay. He beat me up pretty bad.’
‘No shit? Are you okay? Do you want me to find some help or something?’ Alida had guessed this might happen. He was lucky he hadn’t been killed. She rubbed at her temples, where a headache had been threatening all day.
‘Nah. The HealthSentinel nanites are on the job. I’ll be cool in a couple of days.’
‘Jeez, Zee. You have to stop that shit.’
Zave had always been such a wimp, getting Alida to stick up for him when some bully pushed him around. She couldn’t help him with this though. She couldn’t be his fists against the kind of characters he was messing with.
‘I will. I’m giving away passenger and then I won’t need the work. I’ll start scavenging again. I’ve learnt my lesson.’
She hoped it would be that easy. ‘I’m glad. I’ve missed the old Zave.’
‘Anyway, did you wanna chat about something?’
‘What do you mean?’ She pressed Mum’s pillow to her nose and breathed in the faint scent of Mum’s citrusy dry shampoo.
‘You called me at this loopy hour. The Alida I know is usually fast asleep by now. How slick is this MindLine thing, by the way?’
‘Yep. Slick. I guess I just wanted to test it out.’ Alida suddenly couldn’t bring herself to talk about Graycie. ‘I couldn’t sleep.’
‘You know there’s a sleep program on the implant, don’t ya, dickhead?’
‘Hell. I’m the one who’s meant to know these things. I’ve been gabbing on about the implant all day. Distracted, I guess.’
‘Gotta go. My painkiller’s up. It’s all I’m living for right now.’
‘That’s okay. Get some rest and I’ll see you soon.’
‘Laters.’
Alida disconnected. The throbbing in her head intensified and her guts swirled. She was making herself sick with all the stress and tension. She lay down and opened the IntelliEnhance sleep program. She set it for two cycles and activated the green Commence sleep program icon on her vision panel.