Burn It Up

Holden

I was sitting in my office, trying to get some research done, but my thoughts kept drifting to Dina. My mother is still refusing to see beyond ancestry, and her close-mindedness has broken my heart in two different ways. The obvious one being that Dina is no longer in my life, and that reality hurts more than I thought possible. The second reason being, I can’t believe my mother even had formed an opinion someone is superior or inferior because of their skin colour, let alone had enough conviction in that mentality to demand I end my relationship.

My mind is a raging battlefield with no end to the carnage in sight.

Boyd appears at our office door, panting, snapping me out of my inner torment. “The library is on fire.”

“Which library?”

“The public library!” He steps into the office and uses his phone to show me the local news crew on the scene.

The cameras pan the area, and what I see renders me paralyzed. Dina is sitting in the open doors of an ambulance, in hysterics, with an oxygen mask on her face.

“That’s Dina,” Boyd states.

It takes a few seconds, but Boyd’s sharp words bring me back to reality.

Now I’m running down the sidewalk along Bathurst Street toward the scene. Thankfully, the rain has let up, so it’s no longer falling, but the streets are soaked. Each step is splashing water halfway up my thighs. My pants and shoes are getting heavier as I run farther. My adrenaline is pushing me forward, even though I can barely breathe myself. The motivation I feel after seeing the image of Dina sitting in that ambulance, wrapped in a foil blanket, is stronger than the pain from my burning lungs.

I round the corner and see her. Still seated in the ambulance, still crying. Firefighters try to keep me back, but I shout at them and tell them my girlfriend is in the ambulance. Finally, someone takes pity on me and lets me through. Hopefully, they don’t ask her for clarification on that title.

“Dina!” I run the final few metres and crouch in front of her, so I’m level with her eyes. “Are you hurt? What’s wrong?”

She blinks several times before shaking her head. “Na-na—” Her breathing becomes erratic, so I try to calm her.

The paramedic at Dina’s side informs me if I’m upsetting her, I’ll have to leave. I can’t leave her. Not until I know what’s wrong.

Then I realize her bags are not with her. Dina almost always has her bags.

“Dina, where’s Nacho? Did you leave him at home?” Stupid me for asking. She wouldn’t be crying so hard if she had.

She shakes her head again and blubbers, “Nacho…”

The paramedic pushes me back and asks me to give Dina space.

From fifteen feet away, I shout, “I’m going to find him. Don’t worry, okay? I’m going to find him.”

My first course of action is calling Boyd to report in and see if he can come help me and bring one of Phoebe’s coats, since it looks like Dina doesn’t have one. He’s on his way. I try calling Phil and Sam, but neither of them answers. Their weird working hours mean they’re probably sleeping. Next, I want to call Angel, but I don’t know her number, so I take a minute to track her down on social media and send her a message with my number. I do the same with Hollis, hoping neither of them blocked me in solidarity after what I did to Dina. Worst-case scenario, if we don’t find Nacho, she’s going to need people around.

Boyd arrives fifteen minutes later, poised to help me find the angry little dog. He questions firefighters while I speak to other library patrons. I find Julie, who is being interviewed by a police officer, so I wait a moment until she’s free.

“Julie, have you seen Dina’s dog?” I whisper, not wanting others to know Julie was aware a canine was being smuggled inside.

She gasps and claps her hand over her mouth. “No. I didn’t even know Dina was here. Have you spoken to her?”

“Not really. She’s in the ambulance with an oxygen mask on. I tried to speak to her, but she’s too upset.”

“Oh, the poor dear. No, I haven’t seen a dog anywhere. Does she know if he came outside? I hope he’s not inside anywhere.” She glances at the library, which isn’t engulfed in flames, but heavy smoke is dissipating from a couple of upper windows.

The firemen are slowly filing out of the building. I watch as Boyd intercepts them and flashes a photo of Nacho on his phone. Each of them shakes their head.

“I hope so too.”

I make my way over to where I left Dina and find her with a blanket still wrapped around her shoulders, but the oxygen mask has been removed. That’s a positive sign. I drape Phoebe’s puffy coat over Dina’s shoulders, engulfing her and the metallic sheet.

“Hey.” I place a hand on her shoulder, and she collapses against my chest, sobbing. “We’re going to find him. I won’t stop looking.” I kiss the top of her head, even though that’s not my right anymore. It gives me too much credit to say I broke her heart, but if I meant a fraction to her that she does to me, I’m certain breaking up with her has taken its toll.

What I can do is find the one male creature she loves more than anything who won’t break her heart.

Dina settles after a few moments, and her breathing regulates. She leans back, pulling herself away from me. “I’m sorry. Nacho has never been anywhere but home alone. I-I’m so scared.”

Boyd rushes up behind me. “Good news and bad news.”

I try to put my arm around Dina to brace her for the bad news, but she leans away.

Boyd continues, “They didn’t find Nacho inside and they’ve done a full sweep. But the good news is, nothing much burned. There’s just a lot of smoke damage. So if he is hiding in there somewhere, chances are he’s okay.”

Our options are limited right now. We can’t get inside to search and have to leave that to the professionals. So I devise a plan. Addressing Dina, I say, “You wait here so you can be around while the firefighters do their sweep. Boyd and I will start canvassing the area. He’s small, so he could have gotten out when people were rushing outside.”

That prompts a fresh wave of tears, though Dina keeps herself composed enough to nod.

“I messaged Angel and Hollis, but neither of them replied. Do you have your phone?”

She reaches into her back pocket and pulls out her phone. “Yeah. I’ll call them.”

“We’re going to find him. There are people everywhere. Someone must have seen him and you know he wouldn’t cooperate to go home with anyone else.”

Dina chuckles, relieving some of my worry. “That’s true.”

“Okay, text or call me with any updates.”

With a quick nod from Dina, Boyd and I head in opposite directions. Him toward the pet store Dina and Nacho frequent, and me toward the Fort York National Historic Site where Dina walks him every day. I’m not sure how he would have gotten across a busy city street, but anything is possible. He could have darted across while traffic was at a stand-still.

Each person I pass along the way, I show a photo of Nacho on my phone and ask if they’ve seen him. Chances are they’d remember a tiny demon dog. If I see anyone with shredded pant legs, I’ll know I’m on the right track.

I cross at the main intersection, walk past the bus stop, making sure I ask each waiting person, but still have no luck. Then I head into the beautifully manicured space that was once the scene of a dark and dramatic event in the city’s history from the War of 1812. On any other day, I’d revel in the historical significance of the site and take in the immensity of what happened on this very land. Today, I revel in the historical significance in my relationship with Dina. We started and ended in this spot.

The site itself is over forty acres, so I won’t be able to cover all that ground myself, but I’m hoping with the help of other pedestrians, I’ll be able to mend this broken piece of Dina’s soul.

As for the other part I’m responsible for, I’m unsure how to ever fix that.