Living in Chaos

Holden

After spending two days with Dina, returning home feels ominous. Like swimming in dark waters with creatures lurking beneath the surface. Boyd asked where I was, but didn’t bat an eye when I said I stayed at my girlfriend’s place. He either doesn’t care or he wasn’t surprised. I haven’t talked to him about Dina, but I have with Phoebe, so the rumour mill has likely spread the word. I just hope no one said anything to our mother, because I’m not ready for that confrontation yet. A few days of peace—post exams, but more importantly, post ‘I love you’ exchange—is all I want right now.

That’s not what I get, though. My phone chimes with an SOS message.

Phoebe: Help!

A one-word message and I know exactly what she’s hoping for.

Holden: Be there in 2

Like a good little brother, I arrive at my sister’s house to rescue her from her own child. Aaron has been working double shifts a lot lately because the police force is short staffed, and as a result, Phoebe’s anxiety level has been at an all-time high. Most of the time she asks for help, I’m sure it’s just because she wants some adult interaction.

“So, are you going to tell me where you’ve been for the past two days? I had to tell Mum you were doing the night shift with Grace and sleeping all day. Do you understand how hard it is to lie to that woman? She knows something.”

Grace is fussing in my arms, so I hush my sister, acting like I don’t want to disturb the baby. Really, I just need a second to school my features, so I’m not grinning like an idiot and giving away the answer before I can say it.

I clear my throat to make sure my voice sounds like a man and not a prepubescent boy. “Thanks for doing that. I didn’t mean to put you in that position.”

“What are siblings for?” Phoebe beams at me, new creases forming around her tired eyes.

Knowing Phoebe stuck her neck out for me to lie to our super-spy mom, I decide it’s time to fess up. I know my sister will be happy for me, anyway. “My girlfriend twisted her ankle, so I stayed to help her with her dog and stuff.” That’s it. Calm and cool. Well played. I mentally pat myself on the back for keeping composed.

Phoebe, on the other hand, instantly loses her mind. “Girlfriend? You mean Dina? The girl with the flashcards? I knew it. Tell me everything, Holden. Everything.” She sits down on her red sofa and pats the seat beside her.

“You know your daughter isn’t going to let me sit.”

“Good point. Okay, so when did this girlfriend thing happen? How did you ask her?”

With my eyes locked on a decorative glass bowl on the coffee table, I think back over the past couple of days. “I didn’t. It just kind of happened.” That realization makes me worry a little. “Should I have made some grand gesture? Does that sort of thing matter?”

After adjusting herself with a decorative pillow atop her crossed legs, Phoebe imparts some wisdom on me from the pages of her favourite books. “Woo the woman. This isn’t a caveman romance. You can’t just walk in and declare she’s yours. Whack her on the head with a club… or a dictionary, or whatever you’d use.”

My brows furrow of their own accord. “I wouldn’t whack her on the head with anything.”

“Not the point. My point is, it’s an important foundational moment of a relationship. If you want her to take you seriously, you have to show her you’re serious.”

Part of me thinks I would have gotten better advice from my friends, but a tiny fraction sees her point. “Fine. Will you help me come up with something that’s not straight out of a cheesy rom-com?”

“I can’t control where my inspiration comes from.”

Twenty minutes later, I have a plan in place. Tomorrow, I’ll put it into action.

Maybe it wouldn’t have been a bad thing if I replicated a romance novel. This feels next-level corny. But I’m already at Dina’s door, pizza in hand, so there’s no turning back.

She answers a moment after I knock, dressed in a pair of small shorts and a tank top, just like last week when I showed up after my exam.

“Hey. What are you doing here?”

“Study food?” I hold up the pizza like a peace offering. “I thought you might be hungry.”

She holds out her arm to welcome me inside. “Oh, sure. Come in.”

“I should have called, but I wanted to surprise you. If you’re busy—”

“Dickens, get in here. I have time to eat.”

I step inside, shifting the pizza box to balance on one hand so I can lean in to give Dina a kiss. She tastes like orange pekoe tea, and I’d be perfectly fine getting my caffeine fix this way for the rest of my life.

She pulls away and swipes the pizza box from my palm. Her apartment is so small, she’s at the kitchen counter in a couple of steps.

I’m worried she’ll open it before I’m ready, so I try to stall. “Where’s my little buddy?”

“Preventative measures. He was in the bedroom when you knocked, so I shut the door.” She nods toward her room, giving me the go-ahead to open it.

The little fluff-ball comes whipping out of the room as soon as I set him free. He tries to do a hairpin turn, but his feet are slippery, so he runs in place until he gets some traction. Now, when he comes running for me, I don’t fear for my pant legs. He jumps up to greet me like we’ve been best buds forever. “How’s my little Cujo?” I rustle the long hair along the side of his face, which he enjoys, because he leans into my hand.

“Cujo? Really?”

I chuckle at Dina’s deadpan expression.

“The first time I met him, I thought that would be a better name. Nacho sounds too cute. He needs a name that strikes terror into people’s hearts.”

“Hate to break it to you, but most Torontonians would think of Curtis Joseph, the old Maple Leafs’ goalie. Not Stephen King’s rabid dog.”

She has a point.

“Fine. Hellhound it is.”

Her lips tilt in an irresistible smirk as she turns to grab plates from her cupboard. “What kind of pizza did you get?”

I’m almost embarrassed to say it. “Double cheese.”

“Hmm. Can’t go wrong with extra cheese. Do you want to eat now or wait a bit?”

I want to cut bait and run back home to tell my sister what a terrible idea this is. It’s far too late for that. I can only hope Dina maintains her sense of humour and takes pity on me for being so ridiculous.

“Whatever you want. I can eat.” I hold my breath and wait as she turns around to open the box.

She lifts it open at a painfully slow pace, giving me ample time to berate myself a little more. We both pause when she spots what’s inside. A glorious double cheese pizza and a note taped to the lid. One that says, This is extra cheesy, but will you be my girlfriend?

I imagine my sister at home, busting a gut over this scenario right now. She couldn’t have possibly thought this was a good idea. Is this what her novels are touting as romance? Why did I listen to her?

“Is this for me?” Dina asks. She’s as confused as I am embarrassed. “I thought we were already…”

I walk over so I can wrap my arms around her. “We were. Are. I let my sister convince me I had to make a gesture. This was the best I could come up with.”

Dina starts shaking in my arms, making me afraid she’s sobbing into my chest. When she takes a gasping breath a few seconds later, it becomes clear she’s in a fit of giggles. Though, it looks like she is crying, too. Her unreserved laughter prompts mine, and soon we’re both in hysterics, which seem to renew every time either of us stands upright and sees the pizza box again.

“Dickens, this is… I don’t even know.” She puts in a good effort to rein in her hysteria, but we’re at the point now, once it’s started, it’s hard to stop. “Cheesy. Oh my gosh. That’s hilarious.”

“I’m glad my embarrassment is entertaining for you. Remind me never to take advice from my sister.” I wipe my eyes because even I teared up from laughing so hard.

“It’s perfect. I love it.”

Now that we’ve both caught our breath, I hold her tighter. “I love you. So what do you say? Do you want this level of romance all the time?”

She guffaws into my chest, telling me she thinks I’m joking. “I love your level of romance. And you.”

It may have been a really, really stupid idea, but it created a moment I’ll remember forever. And that, I am grateful for.