| |
The coach finally reached Mill Grand House and not a moment too soon, as Emma struggled to get Lilly settled and Catherine and Sarah’s initial excitement had faded into annoyance for one another. They had spent the last stretch of the journey arguing about anything and everything.
When the coach came to a stop, the women and girls were greeted by her parents’ manservant, who assisted them from the coach.
“Welcome to Mill Grand House, Your Grace,” the servant said. “The coach will be unloaded, and your luggage will be brought to your bedchambers and to the nursery.”
“Thank you, Harold,” Emma said gratefully.
She turned to the nanny. “Take the children to their chambers. I will be along shortly.”
“Yes, Your Grace,” the nanny said and gathered the still arguing children. “Come along, dears.”
Emma turned her attention back to Harold and approached him. “How is my mother?”
“Perhaps it is best if Your Grace goes to the sick room and sees for yourself,” he said after an awkward silence.
Emma inhaled sharply. She had remained hopeful that her mother would make a recovery, as she was strong and able to endure most things, but the tone in the servant’s voice made her hopes crumble.
Making her way inside the manor house, she quietly ascended the stairs that led to the first floor. She was well aware of where the sick room was, as this was not the first time Caroline had fallen ill.
Her hands shook as she walked down the hallway and stopped in front of the door. She softly knocked, then stepped back.
The door opened and Roland appeared in the doorway. He immediately stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind him.
“Emma, my dear one,” he said as he embraced her.
“Father,” she said, not realising how much emotion she carried in her voice. “It is good to see you.”
“And it is good to see you, my dearest girl. How was the journey?”
“It was long, but worth seeing your face.”
“How are the children?” her father asked.
“They argued some of the way, but they are perfectly well. They are in the nursery. We can go to them in a moment,” she said.
“And Charles?”
“May I see her?” Emma asked, diverting the subject and not wishing to discuss Charles at that particular moment.
“Of course,” Roland said with a furrowed brow.
He opened the door and stepped to the side, allowing Emma access to the room. With shaky hands, she entered the dark room, but there was enough light from the lamp to allow her to see. Her eyes immediately filled with tears. Caroline was lying on her back, and the large lump in her belly was very noticeable. Her breathing was laboured, and it broke something inside Emma’s heart to see her mother in this manner.
“Emma,” Caroline whispered.
“My dearest mother,” she said and rushed forward to take her mother’s hand. “I’m here.”
“I am glad you came.”
“Of course. It is now my turn to care for you,” she said.
Her mother, clearly in pain, smiled but it appeared as more of a grimace. Emma’s heart broke even more.
“I shall leave you to rest, Mother, and I must get the children settled as well. I will see you in the morn.”
Caroline nodded and released Emma’s hand.
She stared at her mother for one more long moment, then quietly left the room. As she stepped into the hallway, her father moved back inside to tend to her mother once more. As tears filled her eyes, she drew in numerous deep breaths to compose herself.
Tears would not solve anything, and they certainly would not help with the situation at hand. She straightened her shoulders, composed herself, and put on a brave face for everyone in the house.
Emma made her way to the nursery, which had been converted to accommodate both Catherine and Sarah, as well as little Lilly. The children had already been changed into their night frocks and were neatly tucked into bed. Lilly was asleep in a crib on one side of the room, and Catherine and Sarah’s two beds were on either side of the large window.
She approached their beds and sat on the wooden rocking chair nearby, her hands still trembling from the stress.
“Mother, where is Grandmother?” Catherine asked.
“She is resting. She is feeling unwell,” Emma said. “You can see her in the morn, as you both need your rest as well. We’ve had a long day in the coach, and you deserve to sleep soundly.”
“When will Father be joining us?” Catherine asked.
“Your father is a very busy man, Catherine,” Emma said.
“He promised,” Sarah pouted.
“Well then, if he promised, he will be here as soon as he has tended to all his work,” Emma said with a nod. “Sleep well, my dears.”
“Sleep well, Mother,” the two girls said.
Emma kissed them each on the cheek and quietly left the nursery. Dragging her feet as she made her way to her own chambers, she noticed light coming from her father’s study and walked towards it. She found Roland seated on his leather sofa, drinking a glass of amber-hued liquid. His eyes were downcast, and his overall appearance was dishevelled, from his clothes to his hair. She was not used to seeing her father this way, but she certainly understood his heartache.
His gaze met hers and he quickly placed the glass on the table in front of him. “Emma, I though you retired for the evening.”
“I was on my way, when I noticed the light,” she said. “Would it be all right if I joined you?”
“Of course,” he said.
Emma smiled momentarily and sat opposite Roland.
“Your mother and I have been together more than thirty years. She was the first woman I ever loved, and the only woman I will ever love. I feel so helpless. There is not a single thing I can do to take her pain away. Not even the physician has much hope any longer. The growth continues to increase in size and will soon make it very difficult for her to breathe.”
Emma watched with a broken heart as her father began to sob uncontrollably, and she shifted from the chair to sit beside him. She embraced him lovingly and made every attempt to comfort and console him, although she was certain nothing she was able to say would be enough to mend his broken heart.
She was not even able to fix her own.
***
THE CHATTER OF THE women in the music room was cheerful as Charles passed them on his way to the smoking room. He had arranged for his brothers to meet him there while the women and children occupied themselves elsewhere.
Charles needed to speak to his brothers without their wives present, as it would give him more insight on how to win Emma back after the his bungling of the situation regarding Joseph. He was man enough to admit that he had been wrong to accuse her of being unfaithful, but he had not an inkling of how he could rectify it.
Clearly his brothers were much more skilled on the subject, and he hoped they would shed some light.
As he stepped into the smoking room he looked at his brothers, who were comfortably seated on the sofas, chatting amongst themselves. They quieted upon seeing Charles in the doorway.
“To what do we owe the pleasure of this meeting?” Thomas asked with a grin.
“This is not because Julia and I left before dessert, is it? We all know how you feel about that,” Robert asked.
“No, this is something of much more importance than dessert,” Charles said.
Robert’s eyes widened in surprise and he and Thomas exchanged concerned glances.
“I will be completely frank with you all this evening, and I do expect everyone to extend me the same courtesy.”
“Of course,” Robert said. “What is the matter, Charles?”
“As you all are aware, Emma and I are not in a very good place at the moment. We parted ways on bad terms, and I fear...”
“You fear what?”
“I fear she will not forgive me for my transgression. Not this time,” Charles said. “I accused her of being unfaithful, and it hurt her more than I...”
“Why the devil would you accuse her of such a thing? She is one of the most loyal women I know,” Thomas declared.
Charles pursed his lips and lowered his gaze.
Luckily, Robert came to his aid and rose to his feet. “I think there comes a time in every man’s life where he has a momentary lapse of judgement and does something he regrets. I know I have behaved in such a manner, and you all have as well.”
Charles glanced up and saw Thomas and James exchange looks. He knew they’d both had lapses in judgment, and they were in no position to cast aspersions upon him.
“I’ve made a mess of things and am fully aware of that. I’ve not been the perfect husband. I have never experienced feelings of jealousy before. I was not certain how to process those emotions, and I probably still do not.”
“You were jealous of Joseph spending an evening at a poetry reading with Emma?” James asked.
“It shames me to admit it, but yes.”
“Why are you ashamed?” Robert asked.
“Jealousy is a perfectly natural emotion, Charles,” Thomas said.
“But not for me. I have never felt jealous in that regard. Emma had never given me any reason to, either,” Charles said.
“Why now?” Thomas asked.
“Is it not obvious?” Robert asked.
The brothers, including Charles, stared silently at Robert, awaiting an elaboration.
“Charles is in love,” Robert said, and motioned towards their eldest sibling.
Thomas and James turned their surprised countenances towards Charles and grins appeared on their faces.
“You are in love with Emma?” James asked.
In the past, Charles would have argued and protested any sort of feeling which was more than platonic, but at that very moment he knew it would be futile.
“I cannot believe this,” James said softly. “My entire life I have been convinced you were unable to love any other person except yourself.”
Charles cocked his head and watched as James chuckled to himself.
“All right, all right,” Robert said, and fobbed James off. “That is quite enough. Our brother came to us with a problem, and instead of mocking him, we should try to assist him.”
James pursed his lips briefly and nodded. “Of course. I was merely jesting.”
Charles gave James a knowing nod and drew in a deep breath. “Emma and I parted on terrible terms. So much so, that she did not even wish for me to join them visiting her parents. I have hurt her more than I could ever imagine, and it was not intentional. I am certain she will not forgive me, and if she does not, I will completely understand. But that is not what I want.”
“What do you want, Charles?” James asked.
He paused for a moment and pursed his lips. There were many things he wished to say to Emma, and many things he wished to explain. He did not know how to put them into words.
His thoughts were utterly undistinguishable and they made no sense. He lowered his gaze and stared at his hands clasped together. “I had not been fortunate to marry for love as you all have, and I must admit, I am envious of that. I see the manner in which you and your wives look at one another. It has made me realise what is lacking in my own life. Only I realised it too late.”
“What do you want us to do?” Thomas asked.
“I am not certain whether anything can be done. Emma does not wish to have me with her. I have caused irreparable damage not only to our relationship, but to her as well. I do not know how to fix it,” Charles said, and his shoulders slumped.
Thomas, James and Robert exchanged worried glances and slowly approached their brother.
“Charles,” Robert said, “I can see it is difficult for you. We all can, but we know that Emma cares for you. She would not have behaved in that manner if she did not. She was hurt, certainly, but she is a rational woman and would not allow her emotions to cloud her judgement.”
“Perhaps they should,” Charles said with a sigh.
“What do you mean?”
“I do not wish for her to think rationally. I wish for her to tell me what she feels, because if there is even a small chance for us to reconcile, I will do everything in my power to show her that she is the most important person in my life. I cannot live without her,” Charles said. “I do love her. I never thought I would be able to say those words, but they are true. I love Emma with all my heart, and I am ashamed it has taken me such a long time to realise it.”
James smiled and placed his hand reassuringly on Charles’ shoulder. “Trust me when I say, I fully comprehend that.”
“Now that we are clear on your feelings, Charles, let us begin to form a plan of action on how you will be able to mend things with Emma,” Robert said.
“And,” Thomas said, “make her fall in love with you as well.”
“That would certainly be ideal,” Charles said, a hopeful smile forming on his lips.