Bliss York

“WHO IS HE Bliss?” Micah asked the moment we started dancing. He was staring at Nate over my shoulder. Trying to figure out how he knew him.

“He’s from my past. But his fiancé doesn’t know and she’s my boss. It’s best the past stay passed. Please don’t say anything. I don’t want any further discussion.”

Micah scowled and turned his eyes to mine. “He’s the guy from that summer.”

I imagine most people don’t have their first love or relationship remembered as having been so important and vital by EVERYONE around them. Nate was “the guy” because he was the only real one I had when I was a teen before it all came crashing down. My sickness came soon after Nate and permanently changed my life. He was B.C. and would forever remain B.C., innocently cast into that roll. Nate was remembered for having played it. Being there before my diagnosis.

It was only a matter of time before they all knew who he was. Which meant this dance had to be short and was getting shorter every second. When I’d invited Octavia to come here tonight all I’d been thinking about was forcing myself to be around them and getting accustomed to that. I didn’t think she would come. This wasn’t her kind of place. She didn’t “slum” with the locals and whatnot.

Until I saw them walk in the door I didn’t think my friends would remember Nate. It hadn’t even crossed my mind.

“Are you okay? I mean with him being here? And engaged?”

As if there was an answer to that. A normal person would be fine. It was seven years ago. I should be completely okay with it. That was what made sense.

“Yes, of course. It was another lifetime ago,” I replied.

“B.C.”

“Exactly.”

The song finished. I had to move. “I need to get back in case someone else remembers who he is. Otherwise it will be like lightning striking in a big dry forest. When it catches one, the rest will catch to, and then the forest will burn.”

“Very good analogy Bliss. He’s talking to Larissa. She looks pissed off. I guess she remembered him. There’s tree number two a burnin’.”

Crap!

I hurried over to the bar just as Nate was turning around to leave. I quickly scanned his face for any sign of anger. I only saw mild frustration. Glancing at Larissa behind him I noticed her scowling at his back. Yep, okay, she remembered him. Alright, here we go. Trees just a burnin’ and a burnin’.

“Do I need to be concerned that anyone else may recall who I am and want to kill me?” He asked and smiled disgustedly.

“I think Micah will help if they start to. I’ll be back at the table in a minute. I need to get a drink.”

“Why did you invite her, hell, us, into this, knowing what would happen?”

Good question.

“I’m not sure. Trust me I’m regretting it. Bad idea. Really bad idea.”

Nate started to say something else and then stopped before he walked off.

I turned my attention to Larissa who was eagerly waiting for me. She knew I was here to talk to her. I rarely drank that much.

She asked “why can’t the fiancé know you once had a thing?” Her expression spoke volumes, said she was annoyed, and so I answered bluntly and directly.

“Because he didn’t tell her right away and now he thinks it will cause an issue. I like my job. I don’t want to lose it.”

Larissa rolled her eyes. “This isn’t fucking junior high. He needs to be a man and get that shit out, air his clean and dirty laundry. He should tell the damn truth and be done with it.”

“It’s fine. I think it’ll be better with her not knowing. Forgetting it ever happened works for me.”

Larissa leaned forward, as close as she could get, resting her arms on the bar. “Does it really? It works for you? Or does it work for him?”

She thought I was protecting Nate. That’s why she was pissed.

“Octavia is spoiled and thinks she’s entitled. She’s been a good boss, but if she thought I was a threat, she’d get rid of me in an instant. I need the job and the income and without any experience she gave me the chance I needed. I don’t want to lose that. Even if I have to hide a secret.”

“Bliss, you’re making a mistake. He still has a thing for you. It’s in his eyes. I’m never wrong about that. But he’s not man enough to admit it. Don’t forget that. Don’t ever settle. You deserve a fairytale more than anyone I know. What you went through was tremendous. Devastating, and you have to have the best.”

Because I was sick? What I went through was “tremendous” and I “have to have the best?” These were words, part of the collection, I was used to hearing. But there was one always left unspoken. The “big word” never added to their comments. It hung silently in the balance. They all assumed because of it I should have the best. After CANCER it was supposed to be easy? No, nothing was. I still had to live this life and it was still going to be hard. Just like it was for everyone else.

“Thanks,” was all I could say. If I said what I really felt about that I’d sound like a brat and have to stand there, arguing back and forth. So, I walked away with a smile on my face I didn’t feel, but had already perfected, a long time ago when I was sick. My “false grin” was one of the best. I should win an Academy Award.

“Bliss!” Saffron’s voice carried above the crowd and I cringed. She was already drinking and drunk. I could hear it in her slur. Where did she find all these people who would give her alcohol?

“And she’s here. I’ve already texted Holland. There she comes,” Crimson said, pointing to the door where Holland was walking in. She was dressed normally. Like she had been at home comfortably reading. Which I was sure she had been.

“But James is here! I came to see James!” Saffron giggled, her boobs almost falling from her top, which by the way was the size of a napkin.

Holland paused. The hurt in her eyes was quickly masked. She definitely had a thing for James.

“I’ll take her outside,” James said. He put his arm around her bare waist as Saffron beamed up at him, leaning into his body, loving the man like a puppy. “You’re here,” she cooed. “Jamesy is here with me.”

“Yeah, but you already knew that,” was his response.

“I was hoping he’d stay at the table and leave this alone. Why are guys so dumb?” Crimson replied disgusted

I didn’t know the answer to this question. But I was wondering the same myself. Surely James knew what he was doing? How could he miss the look in Holland’s eyes whenever she looked at him? Saffron was identical to her, but Holland didn’t dress like Saffron and she was quieter, more withdrawn.

Was that what men wanted? The drawers of attention like Saffron? Damaged goods with expiration dates? I focused on the group at the table. Nate’s arms were around Octavia’s waist. They were talking and laughing, Jimmy being entertaining, because when he wanted he could be that. Nate seemed happy. Content.

My heart cracked a little more and weakened. I’d asked for this by inviting them. It was time I accepted it and learned to live with it.

 

Nate Finlay

IT HAD BEEN quiet last night on the way back to Octavia’s house. When we walked inside she went to her room and closed the door. No words. Nothing.

There was no question as to what was wrong. I knew. It would take a complete idiot not to know what was up her ass. Hell, I knew this was going to be an issue while I was doing it. But fuck me if I hadn’t been able to stop myself.

Bliss was hard not to watch. I tried. God, I so fucking tried. I did everything I could to keep from looking at her last night. But I was a man and Bliss . . . well Bliss was Bliss. She was hard to ignore. For me she was damn near impossible to ignore.

Finally, I had just given in and watched her. Let my eyes follow her every move. Knowing all along Octavia would notice and a fight would follow. Not because she was a jealous person. She wasn’t. She didn’t have time to focus on anyone other than herself. Very little room for jealousy.

No, Octavia was pissed because my looking at Bliss had been a slap in the face to her. Others saw it. Knew she wasn’t my center of attention and that she couldn’t deal with. I was fairly certain she was just going to take this out on me. Not Bliss.

However, I wasn’t about to test that theory. When I woke up to find Octavia’s bedroom already empty I hurried my ass up and got to her store. Bliss wouldn’t be there for another hour so I had time to fix this shit if she in fact was going to let Bliss go because of me.

Walking into the office that Octavia had me set up for her in the back I could smell the expensive French perfume she loved to wear. It was appealing. One of the first things that got my attention when we met. I liked things to smell good and Octavia always smelled amazing. Money could do that for you.

She shot an annoyed glare my way before going back to whatever she was doing on her computer. “You’re a bastard,” she said with a hiss in her voice.

“I’m sorry.”

I learned from my father that apologizing to a woman was easier than arguing with one. Sometimes this worked and sometimes it didn’t. I was hoping this was one of those times that it worked. The frown in her brow however told me I was fucked. This wasn’t going to be that easy.

“In front of all those people. Never, Nate Finlay, never have you humiliated me that way. If you had, we wouldn’t be engaged and living together right now. I’d be done with you.”

This was dramatic. Not her usual response to things.

“I was trying to figure her out. You’re planning on leaving her here alone to run the place in a little over a month.”

Octavia shot her heated gaze up from the screen and leveled me with it. “Don’t fucking patronize me. She’s beautiful and has that innocent farm girl thing. You couldn’t take your eyes off her. It was obvious to everyone. Including her and she’s as naïve as a female her age can be. Don’t act like you did that for me.”

Okay so maybe I should have gone with a different angle. But damn I didn’t have one. Not really. I wanted to look at her last night and I had given up trying to pretend I wasn’t drawn to her. Fascinated with her. Fuck it to hell. This was not the shit I wanted to deal with. This was not easy. I wanted easy.

“No woman her age that looks like that can be that naïve. I didn’t trust it. I studied how her friends treated her and how she handled herself. You thinking she’s trustworthy because she’s some farm girl from Alabama is fucking naïve if you ask me.”

Had I even sounded believable just now?

Octavia frowned. Like she was thinking about what I’d said as if it made sense. Surely she saw through my bullshit.

“You think I’m being too trustworthy?”

No. Not one damn bit. Bliss was as trustworthy as Octavia was ever going to get in an employee but this seemed to be working so I went with it. Anything to get Octavia over her snit and save Bliss’s job.

“I did. Yes. But you’re right. The girl is everything she appears. A bit immature for her age but she’s middle class and needs a job. She seems willing to prove herself and the people close to her really like her. They trust her. And she didn’t once meet my gaze last night. She didn’t try to flirt or even give me a smile.”

Octavia nodded slowly. “I noticed that. She had to see you watching her but she didn’t take advantage of it. She ignored you completely. I respect that. We need to tell her though the truth. That you had been measuring her up. Testing her. She doesn’t need to think you have any interest in her. She’s not like us. She doesn’t need to think she could fit into your world and mess up the best opportunity she’s going to get in this town. God knows women can be stupid when it comes to you.”

Most of what she had just said pissed me off.

Scratch that.

All of what she had just said pissed me off. I hated the elitist way Octavia’s mind worked. It was the one thing I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to live with the rest of my life. Or any part of my life. Bliss wasn’t less than us because she had grown up differently. My own mother grew up very similar to Bliss and she was one of the smartest women I knew. That meant nothing.

There were some fucking idiots that had grown up at the country club with me. Money didn’t make you important. It wasn’t a one way ticket into the world of the elite. Especially for people like me and Octavia. We weren’t rich. Our parents were. We were trust fund kids. Not exactly impressive.

But Bliss’s job was at stake and I knew I had to play the role. Keep my thoughts to myself. Pretend I agreed. I could question this all later. When I wasn’t standing here in front of a woman that was watching my every expression.

“Bliss isn’t like us. You’re right. She’s a farm girl from Alabama with an inferior education and very little sense of the real world. She lives in a bubble here in Sea Breeze. One she won’t ever get out of or hope to break free from. But that makes her safe. She’s a good employee and one we now know you can trust.”

Just saying all of that bullshit made me hate myself. It wasn’t true. Bliss had beat a disease that took lives daily. If she wanted out of this damn town she’d get out. She’d create herself. She would achieve any goal she set for herself. She would fight until she had it. I believed that.

Octavia nodded. “Good. I’m glad you agree.” She then let out a laugh. “The idea of her ever fitting into your world is ludicrous anyway. I guess I was tired last night. Being too sensitive. I should have known you weren’t interested in someone like her. I’ve never known you to settle for someone so beneath you.”