GOOD MORNING MARGE. … I come to borrow a cup of sugar and a half stick ’a butter until tomorrow…. I got a recipe for a “no-egg” cake…. Ain’t that somethin’? What will they think of next? My cousin Ellie give me the recipe for it, I told her if she come across a recipe for some “no-meat” meat balls to be sure and give me that … now that’s somethin’ I could really use.
Oh no, Marge, Ellie ain’t workin’ now, She can’t work with that son of hers. Bobby ain’t but 12 but already he’s broke one rib and a arm and his forehead is always lumped up…. Yeah, her husband is doin’ a little better on the job … got a little raise … so she quit her place … Bobby was climbin’ up lamp posts and fallin’ off of back alley fences. Child, when she heard ’bout him playin’ leap frog on the roof ledge she whipped him and then figured she’d best stay home and watch him before he ruined himself altogether.
The woman she worked for wasn’t bad as folks go so Ellie decided to give her two weeks notice. Well, honey, I can’t tell it like Ellie can … you oughta hear her! Well anyway she told this lady ’bout Bobby and explained how she had to leave and … bless Bess! the woman fell out…. You heard me, she fell out! That’s just what I said! There she was cryin’ and moanin’ and just a-carryin’ on…. Now Ellie was speechless ’cause she had no idea the woman was that crazy ’bout her…. When the woman gets her breath back she starts groanin’: “Oh Ellie we were so fond of you and I never thought you’d leave us…. Oh I never thought you’d leave us.”
“Never?” Ellie asked her. “Really never?” and that woman was dead serious.
“Ellie,” she says, “I thought of us as just one big family…. What’s wrong? Why do you want to leave?”
Well, Ellie gets her a glass of water and some smellin’ salts and sat down and explained all over again … slowly. She tells her ’bout Bobby and ’bout her husband real clear. When she was through the woman asked her, “What have we done to you? Has anyone hurt your feelings? Aren’t you happy?”
Well the upshot of it was that there was no way that Ellie could explain anything so’s she’d understand it ’cause the way Ellie told it to me, this woman had read “Gone with the Wind” four times and … and … well, it’s just given her ideas … that’s all…. Look out Marge! The coffee is boilin’ over…. Girl, stop actin’ the fool now!