We would be returning to the grind the next morning once we got to Boise, and regardless of having the most relaxing day ever, I was worn out. It made for better sleeping, so I climbed into my bunk soon after we hit the road. I pretended that my early bedtime had nothing to do with the thing with Max, but something about it bothered me. He’d always been broody, but something was off about how he’d been after I asked him about his day. Not to mention my father’s reaction—maybe that had been the tipoff that something was amiss.
Sandy stayed up front with the guys, but they brought their voices down several notches now that there were people in their bunks. I could still hear them after I pulled my curtain closed, but their voices were muted enough that it was background noise.
I was about to put my earbuds in with some quiet music to help me fall asleep when I heard the shuffle of someone else’s curtain. I rolled on my side and angled my head to look out the tiny sliver of opening to see that Dave had climbed into his bunk. He left his curtain open a little, as he normally did, but as he settled in, rolling to his side and facing the wall, all I could see was the back of his head.
Grabbing my phone, I took a chance and turned the Wi-Fi on, grateful to my best friend when only a few messages came in. I scanned them and noticed a text from my father, sent earlier in the day when I’d been in the spa.
Hope you’re having a great day off! Just wanted to let you know that while we’re here, Max has decided to visit his family.
I should have mentioned earlier, but wasn’t sure if he was going to make the side trip.
Oh God. How had I not realized that he lived near here? Of course I had all the files on the guys with their home addresses and emergency contact information, but it’s not like I had it all memorized. I closed my eyes, trying to remember where Max was from...Oh right, some small town in Montana. And we were in...of course, Montana, halfway between Minneapolis and Boise. As I thought about it, I realized Dad and Linda had probably chosen this spot as the layover so Max would have the opportunity to visit if he wanted to. Knowing my father, he’d probably made sure to schedule stops like that for all the guys wherever possible.
Stupid, stupid, Vanessa. How could you not remember?
I wondered if Sandy or even Dave knew. He hadn’t seemed surprised that Max wasn’t with the rest of the guys watching sports in the hotel lounge. I’d just assumed he was decompressing by himself.
I texted Dave. Did you know Max was visiting family today?
As I waited to see if he’d respond, I absently went to my home screen to check the various social media. I was curious to see what people were saying about Wiretap and then realized I no longer had active accounts. While it was a little frustrating, at the same time, it was a relief.
My phone vibrated in my hand and I went back to the text screen to see Dave had responded.
He’d said he might but I wasn’t sure he had until Graeme told me when I was packing tonight after the pool.
God, I felt so stupid. Why hadn’t anyone told me? Of course, my father had tried. He must have assumed I’d see his text before returning to the bus. But had Sandy known? I had to think she didn’t or she would have said something. Some days it seemed like Max was her favorite thing to complain about.
Why? Dave sent.
I asked him how he spent his day.
Nothing wrong with that, Dave sent back.
I typed in the worst part: Then I asked him if he was off partying.
Ouch.
Right? I sent.
Not your fault, Dave texted. You didn’t know.
I should have known. I forgot he lives around here.
You can’t know everything. You’re not an encyclopedia. Anyway it’s your day off.
I didn’t type it, but couldn’t help but think that a day off wasn’t supposed to mean a day off from thinking. But he was right and while I felt like an idiot, I couldn’t be expected to remember every detail.
He’ll get over it, Dave sent when I didn’t respond.
You looking forward to tomorrow? I texted, suddenly very eager to change the subject.
TBH? Yep. Playing’s a rush. Where are we in the am?
I’d planned to go over my files first thing in the morning (I always got up before the boys, mostly so I had no competition for the bathroom, but also so I could get ready for the daily debrief) but I remembered that we’d made plans to take the boys to the local zoo for some fun publicity shots. I hadn’t decided yet if I’d go with them, but would after I went through the day’s itinerary so I could see where I was most needed.
The zoo. Should be fun.
There any elephants there?
Shut up.
:P He sent back. Better get some sleep. Big day tomorrow.
Sleep well, I texted.
I was about to turn the Wi-Fi off and plug my phone in, tucking it between my mattress and the outside wall of the bus for the night when I scrolled through and found Max in my contacts. I had all the guys’ numbers for emergencies, but I had yet to have a text conversation with him. Taking a deep breath, I opened a text and sent: I’m sorry about before. Didn’t realize you’d gone to see your family today. Hope everything’s ok.
I had no idea if he had his phone on and wasn’t expecting any sort of response, just needing to get out my apology, so I was surprised to see the three dots appear under my bubble.
Thanks. Wasn’t sure I wanted to see them. Yesterday was my g/fs birthday.
I cursed inside my head. Ugh. I’m so sorry, Max. Must be hard for you.
It is. ... The three dots stayed there for a long time, taunting me before they then disappeared.
How was I supposed to respond now? What if he was done texting? Was I supposed to just turn off my phone and go to sleep? What if...
But then I got another message from him: I miss her so much. She would have loved what’s happening to the band. How well we’re doing.
I’m sure she would have, I sent, even though I had no way to know for sure. Obviously, since she’d died before I’d even met Max. But I imagined any girlfriend would be hugely proud. He was such a great talent and even after what he went through, it would have been a waste for him if he’d bailed on joining the band.
I don’t know why I just told you that, he sent quickly.
I was tempted to text back that it was because he was in the bunk of truth, but he wouldn’t get the joke. And it’s not like it was the time for jokes anyway.
I’m glad you did, I sent. I’m here to talk anytime. I’m not just your fill-in tour manager, I have great listening skills, too.
Thanks, he sent. And then: better get to sleep, I hear I have a date with a giraffe tomorrow. Want to be rested up for that.
I smiled at his joke not because it was funny but because it meant that even though he hadn’t explicitly said it, I knew he was over what I’d asked him earlier. And because maybe it meant talking to me had helped him, even a little. Maybe we’d just turned a corner.
Night, Max, I sent back and then turned off my Wi-Fi before tucking the phone away and closing my eyes.