From the lowliest peasant to the pharaoh himself, the ancient Egyptians were crazy about bread. Wheat was the “staff of life” that fueled their civilization, and during the Middle Kingdom they even used bread as a unit of measure and currency, instead of money. Rather than getting five bucks for a job, a worker might be paid five loaves’ worth of stuff. Egypt loved carbs so much that the Greeks called them “the bread eaters.”
The Greek writer Herodotus scoffed that the weirdo Egyptians “kneaded bread with their feet,” but it’s a good thing for us that they did. Some historians think that’s how leavened bread was first invented! The Egyptians might have discovered that bread turned out lighter and fluffier when they kneaded it with their feet—because the baker might have had a yeast infection between his toes, and yeast makes bread rise! Yuck.
There was one downside to eating so much bread. Sand gets everywhere in the desert, and Egyptian bread often had a lot of grit in it left over from the process of making flour. A lifetime of eating sandy bread would scrape up and wear away people’s teeth—even the pharaohs’ teeth! We know from studying his mummy that Amenhotep III was a dentist’s nightmare. He may have been the sun god incarnate, but he probably didn’t smile very much.
Here’s a lunch idea that combines two Egyptian favorites—baked goods and corpses.
YUMMY MUMMIES
INGREDIENTS
1 TUBE REFRIGERATED BREAD DOUGH
1 PACKAGE HOT DOGS
3 SLICES AMERICAN CHEESE
COOKING SPRAY
KETCHUP AND MUSTARD
1. Preheat your oven to the temperature specified on the tube of dough (probably 350° or 375°). This recipe uses an oven and a sharp knife, so get help from a grown-up, or you might face the wrath of the pharaoh.
2. Lay the dough flat. Then use a kitchen knife or pizza cutter to slice it into a series of narrow strips, half an inch wide or less.
3. Cut each slice of cheese into four strips. Place each hot dog on a strip of cheese.
4. Wrap several dough strips as “bandages” around each hot dog and cheese strip. Leave a gap about half an inch from the end of the hot dog—this will be the mummy’s face.
5. Place your mummies on a cookie sheet about half an inch apart. Embalm them lightly with the cooking spray.
6. Seal the pyramid!!! (Close the oven.) Keep an eye on your mummies to make sure they don’t come back to life and make trouble. Within 12–16 minutes (depending on the kind of dough you used) they should be turning a light golden brown, and then it’s time to raid the tomb.
7. After your grown-up helper removes the mummy tray from the oven, use a toothpick to put two dots of mustard on your mummies’ faces for eyes. Once they’re cool, serve the mummies with little “canopic jars” of ketchup and mustard for dipping.
