CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

SLIPPING

Miko lifted Ivy’s light cotton shirt to examine her ribs. They were severely bruised by the raider who’d taken her a week ago, and a yellow and green ring surrounded Ivy’s left eye and crept down to her cheekbone. She winced at the pain as Miko wrapped a cloth around her ribs, restricting Ivy’s movement. Miko was a healer and had told Ivy that no bones were broken but that she’d still have pain for a while.

“You look like you’ve been kicked by a horse,” Miko mentioned as she tied off the cloth.

“It feels like it,” Ivy said through clenched teeth.

Finn had stayed in bed for a few days following the attack. His wounds were worse than Ivy’s, and she felt a stab of guilt every time she saw him. His face was badly bruised and cut. Miko said he had a slight concussion but that he should heal just fine. Ivy had been in the doorway of Finn’s room when Miko was caring for his injured ribs. Ivy’s eyes ran down his bare chest, over the corded muscles of his arms and broad shoulders that hunched when Miko touched at his ribs.

Miko’s fingers roamed over his abdomen, and Ivy felt her cheeks grow hot, but Finn didn’t seem to notice Miko at all as soon as Ivy walked through the door. Miko turned and gave Ivy an icy look as she packed up her supplies, brushing past Ivy out the door. Finn pulled his shirt back on, wincing at the pain.

“Hey,” he said, his cheeks turning pink.

She hadn’t slept well in the past week, usually waking to nightmares, and turning to see her bed empty. Finn had stayed with her the night of the attack but had since retreated to his room. Ivy didn’t want to ask him to stay. That was selfish, and she knew he needed to heal. He hadn’t tried to kiss her again since that night either, and every day that passed, Ivy could feel Finn slipping away.

They spent their days seated up on her balcony, talking about little things, and watching some other men use the sparring pit. Prince Kal took advantage of their absence and fought there nearly every day, smiling up at Ivy every time he took a break. She could see that it bothered Finn, but he remained silent. They didn’t speak of that night in the sandpit or what might have happened, but she still felt Finn’s eyes on her every time she looked away.

Now, she approached Finn as he stood up. “Hey. Are you feeling well enough for a walk? Ronin is leaving today with King Mashu’s Shadows, and we should go see him off.”

“Sure.” He grabbed his sword belt and strapped it on, Ivy watching his fingers work the buckle. Heat crawled up her neck, and she turned to lead the way when she felt Finn’s hand wrap around hers.

“Are you feeling well?” he asked in return.

“I’m fine,” Ivy replied.

“You always say that.” Finn let go of her hand, and brought his up to caress her cheek, looking at the healing bruise around her eye. She could see the pain in his features as his thumb brushed over the bruise. “I’m sorry for this,” he said quietly.

“You saved my life, Finn, so stop saying that you’re sorry. I could never repay you for what you did.”

He took a deep breath and withdrew his hand before following her out the door.

The sun was high in the sky, and pink flower petals drifted through the air, covering the cobblestone road. Ivy could smell the flowers and the ocean in the breeze and let herself smile as she took it in. Finn plucked a flower from a low hanging branch and tucked it behind her ear, his fingers lingering and sending heat up Ivy’s neck.

“Beautiful,” he whispered. His russet eyes drifted down to her lips, and Ivy’s pulse spiked. The way Finn looked at her was like nothing else around them even existed. She could feel herself being pulled to him, gravitating closer, but Ivy turned away, and they continued to stroll down the road toward the docks.

“When do you think he’ll return?” Ivy kept her eyes on the boats that sat bobbing in the water below.

“I don’t know. It could only take a few days or a few weeks.”

“Ronin told us not to wait for his return to continue with our training.”

“I don’t think either of us is in any shape to train,” Finn argued. Ivy felt disappointed at the thought of delaying their nightly practice any longer. It had been a week now, and she couldn’t take sitting on her balcony one more night, looking down at the empty circle.

“We could start slow,” Ivy persisted. “We’ve already missed a week.”

“Fine,” Finn said with a smile. “But only straw men, I won’t fight you. Not yet.”

Ivy agreed, and her heart beat a little faster as she thought about tonight.

Ronin was helping the Shadows load weapons and supplies onto the ferry when Ivy and Finn approached, but stopped when he saw them. Ronin had come to visit them a few days ago as they lay abed, nursing their wounds. He praised Ivy on her fighting skills and courage during the attack as he heard the story from Ser Osmund. Finn didn’t take the praise as well. Ivy had been listening through the wall when Ronin went to his room. Finn felt insulted by Ronin’s words and yelled at him to get out, telling him no one seemed as concerned for Ivy’s life as he was. When she heard Finn say that, she wondered if it were true.

Ser Osmund had made a promise to her father, though he admitted that he failed. Then she remembered the traders that almost killed her and how Ser Osmund had fought for her life. She knew the Ser Osmund would do anything to keep her safe, but he also seemed to trust Finn more and so relaxed about keeping an eye on her all the time.

“Are you feeling better?” Ronin addressed them both. Finn stayed silent, and Ivy assured her trainer that she’d be ready when he returned. “And you, Finn?”

“Just as Ivy said. We’ll be ready,” Finn replied coldly.

Ronin nodded his head and put a hand on Ivy’s shoulder. “Your father will be proud of you. I doubted your commitment when you arrived, but you’ve shown me the warrior inside of you. Your father should reconsider his rules about female knights.”

Ivy’s heart fluttered at that. Her father had promised to reconsider upon her return, and if Ronin thought Ivy good enough to be a knight, perhaps that would be enough to persuade her father.

“Thank you, Ronin.” Ivy slightly bowed to him.

Ronin turned to Finn and told him to keep Ivy close, to which Finn replied, “Always.”

The ferry pulled away from the docks just as Ser Osmund was walking up, out of breath.

“Did you run here?” Ivy asked. The knight nodded his head, trying to regain some air to his lungs. “Why didn’t you ride Eclipse?”

“That horse grows more stubborn by the day,” Ser Osmund complained as he held up a bloody hand where Eclipse had bitten him. Ivy giggled at him. Ser Osmund and Eclipse had been feuding for years, and he’d surely drive the knight mad by the time they reached home.

“Maybe you should retire Eclipse when we get back to Godstone,” Ivy offered, still smiling at him, but when she turned to Finn, he wasn’t smiling. Every time Ivy mentioned going home, he grew quiet.

“Yes, well, let’s hope that stubborn horse doesn’t kill me on the road home,” Ser Osmund joked.

The three of them walked back up the hill together. Ser Osmund retreating when he caught the scent of fried fish leaking out from the kitchen. The walk had made Ivy lightheaded, and she remembered that she hadn’t had anything to eat or drink today.

“So, what now?” Finn asked.

Ivy shrugged her shoulders and stumbled on the steps of the barracks. Finn caught her by the elbow and helped her up. “Are you alright?” he asked.

“I’m—”

“Fine. Yes, I know,” Finn teased her. “When was the last time you had something to eat?”

“Yesterday, I think. I just got lightheaded.”

“I know the feeling. Why do you think I stayed in bed for so many days?”

Finn walked Ivy to her room then left, saying he’d be back with some food. She poured a small cup of wine to ease her head and went to sit on the balcony. The familiar clack of wooden swords crawled up the terraces to where Ivy sat. She peered over the edge to see Prince Kal sparring with a Shadow that Ivy frequently saw lingering around the prince. She figured Kal had asked his guard to train with him since Ronin seemed to have little time for the prince these days. Ivy watched the two sparring and had to admit to herself that Kal was a skilled fighter. He wasn’t nearly as strong as Finn, but he was quick.

Ivy heard someone scoff behind her and turned around to see Finn holding a tray of food, his eyes on the prince below. She gestured for him to join her on the balcony, but he put the tray down inside and asked if she needed anything else, his tone cold. “Only your company,” she said with a timid smile.

“You should rest before practice,” Finn replied. Ivy stood to block his view of the men below, and only then did he meet her eyes, helpless to return her smile. Ivy thanked him for the food, went inside, and closed the door behind her, shutting out the prince and his Shadow.

Ivy looked at the array of food Finn had brought her. “Would you like some?”

Finn shook his head and started for the door. “Eat and get some rest. I’ll see you tonight.” When he was gone, Ivy devoured most of the food and some water. Her head already felt better, but she decided to lie down anyway.

She fell asleep almost immediately and dreamed of her attacker again. This time Finn wasn’t there to save her, and the raider slit her throat and dumped Ivy into the sea. The black water surrounded her as she watched her life escape from her in the form of tiny bubbles. When she tried to swim up, she felt something wrap around her ankle and pull her down deeper. A distant voice crept toward her through the water, yet it sounded as though the person was right next to her. Then a woman came into view, and Ivy smiled, feeling a warmth wrap around her, and she began to swim off with the woman, but then another voice called to her. It was Finn.

“Ivy!” he screamed, over and over. Ivy tried to swim to him, but the woman flashed her fanglike teeth, and Ivy screamed, her mouth filling with water. Ivy watched the inky water rising above her as she was dragged down. Above the surface, the stars began to flick out, one by one.

Ivy woke up to Miko shaking her ankle. She offered Ivy a cold cloth for her head, and Ivy noticed she had sweated through her clothes.

“Nightmare again?” Miko asked in a small voice.

“Why are you here?” Ivy took the cloth and held it to her brow.

“Finn asked me to wake you at sunset. So you don’t miss practice.” She thanked Miko as she gathered Ivy’s bedclothes to be washed. Ivy changed her clothes, slipping on a blue cotton shirt and some dark pants, then strapped on Promise and ran her finger over the handle of the knife Rayner had given her. The sun was already gone, pushed away by the moon when Ivy arrived at the sandpit, but Finn wasn’t there.