CHAPTER 59
“Open up, Maxwell, I know you’re in there!!” Andre yelled, banging on Maxwell’s front door. “Open up!”
“Man, are you crazy!” Maxwell asked, yanking his door open. “This ain’t the ghetto, man. You can’t just knock on the door like you the police!”
Andre brushed him aside and walked into the apartment.
“Come on in,” Maxwell said sarcastically as Andre walked over to the bar and fixed himself a stiff drink.
“Man, it’s eleven in the morning! What’s your problem?”
“My kids. They acted berserk this morning. I caught them packing some clothes up, trying to run away. Can you believe that? Like they in a battered home or something. Then they told me I need to stop making their mama cry. Told me they were going to find their mama a new husband. They said—and get this—I was verbally abusing her. Verbally abusing her? Since when these kids start picking up such mess? At school? Or is it the TV?”
He finished his drink and poured himself another.
“Man, you know how kids are—”
“No! They were serious. They were so angry…”
Maxwell watched as Andre walked over to his sofa and cried.
What is wrong with my friends? One is pissed, not taking my calls, and dating a fat black girl, and the other one is reaping what he sowed, sitting on my sofa crying like a baby.
Maxwell sat down on the sofa and gave Andre a minute to compose himself.
“You know, Tony was right. All this time, I have been holding out a piece of my heart to Rosslyn. Fourteen years and I can still remember her smile,” Andre said, wiping tears from his eyes.
“But it wasn’t real, man. It was a fantasy—”
“I used to resent marrying Brenda. Back then, I wasn’t in love with her. But she was, she was loyal, man. I could count on her, you know? Looking back, Rosslyn always made me feel unsure of myself, like if I made a mistake she was outta there. And in the end she did leave me. That’s why I chose Brenda. I knew she would never leave me, never make me feel like I wasn’t good enough.”
“Did you ever think that you made her feel like that? Made her feel—” He stopped and thought about Yolanda. He shook his head. “Made her feel inadequate?”
“I know this whole time y’all saw how I was treating Brenda and knew it was wrong. Deep down, even I knew it was wrong. But I thought,” he sighed. “I don’t know what I thought. But I didn’t know I was making her cry. I never meant to make her cry,” Andre said, in a small voice.
“Do you love her?” Maxwell asked.
“Yeah. I’ve always loved Brenda. I know she isn’t the most attractive woman. But her heart? It’s the most beautiful thing in the world. Yeah, I love her.”
“Well, Chrisette Michele is gonna perform at Ray’s tomorrow night. Maybe it’s time you showed her a nice time. Get her mama to watch the kids, you know, a nice romantic evening. And don’t worry about the kids, they’re resilient. Just give them some time. Be there for Brenda and they will be okay.”
“Yeah, I know. It’s the worst feeling in the world seeing your life and knowing you could have done better.”
Maxwell nodded. Looking at his friend like this made him think about Tony and what he had said. I am a coward. I do love Yolanda. And I’ve blown it.
* * *
“Hello?”
“Tony?”
“Maxwell, dude, stop calling me. I don’t want to talk to you.”
“Look, we gotta talk.”
“About what? Do you know how many times I wanted to tell you about Sharon? How many times I wanted to call you and tell you I’ve found the love of my life? But I knew you would be immature about the situation…”
“Immature?”
“Did I stutter? All you care about is what other people think. It’s like all you do is rate women all the time on how they look. That was cool in college, but we’re grown men now. That’s not what it’s all about.”
“I know man, I know. And I’m sorry. From the heart, brother, I didn’t know it was that serious.”
“Well, it is. I proposed to her last night. We’re getting married this spring.”
“Congratulations! Man, that’s great—”
“Cut the crap, Maxwell. You don’t have to pretend that you’re excited. I already know how you really feel.”
Tony sighed.
“It really doesn’t matter anymore. What’s done is done. I know what Sharon looks like. And maybe when she’s ready, she’ll lose the weight. Or she won’t. Either way, she’s beautiful.”
“That’s wonderful, man. And regardless of what you think, I am happy for you. So when do I meet the girl?” Maxwell asked.
“Soon. We’re going out of town this weekend so I can meet her parents. Maybe when we get back from Chicago, you and Yolanda—”
“Gotta stop you right there, man. Things not going too well with us.”
“What did you do?”
“Why it gotta be me all the time? Maybe she—”
“I’m gonna ask you one more time, what did you do?”
“It was at the family reunion. I don’t know what went wrong, but I guess some of my family were dogging her because of her weight, and you know…”
“No, I don’t know.”
“She asked me if I was ashamed of her.”
“And? What did you say?” Tony asked.
“I sorta told her I was,” Maxwell answered.
“Sorta told her, or plain out said it?”
“Man, it doesn’t matter. All I know is she’s not taking any of my calls, and at work she’s all cold.”
“Can you blame her?”
“No. So what do I do?”
“Get on your knees and beg,” Tony said.
“I ain’t doing all that.”
“Is she worth it?”
Maxwell thought about all their long conversations, the way she laughed, the way she looked when the sun touched her soft skin. He loved the way she made him feel, as if he could do anything. It was funny, he only thought about the way she looked when his friends were around. But he thought Yolanda was beautiful, inside and out. He couldn’t believe how blind he’d been, how had devalued her good qualities because she didn’t have a J. Lo butt or big breasts. She was a good woman. The kind of woman you want to bring home to mama. The kind of woman his mama would have been proud to call her daughter. Maxwell was ashamed, not of Yolanda, but of his shabby treatment of her. Why was I such a coward with her? Why didn’t I walk that girl into my family reunion, announce she was my girlfriend, and not care what anybody thought? He didn’t want to be like Andre, messing over a good thing, or his father. He wanted to be what his mother raised him to be: a good man.
He sighed. “I miss that girl, Tony. Miss her a lot. Yeah, she’s worth it.”
“Well, little doggy, time to get on them knees and get to begging.”