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“Stop staring at me.” Ivan glared over his shoulder at Myriam, who was standing half-hidden behind the frame of the open doorway to their apartment's tiny garden. “I can't concentrate when you're staring like that.”
She didn't move. It was impossible to be rid of her. He was trying to be professional about it, but her constant presence was grating on him. Was it too much to ask for a few minutes of privacy?
With a sigh, he turned away from her and tried to regain some focus. Katas. He was supposed to be doing his Ga'Un katas. Slow, precise movements, elegant, balanced, the foundation and extension of the dirty-fighting style of the N'Ptalini meant to strengthen his body and calm his mind. Waves on the surface smoothening out until nothing but stillness remained.
The Dancing Crab. The Lonely Mourner. High Tide, Low Tide. The Sun Griffin Awakens. Song of the Mother Whale. High Tide, Low Tide. The Mountain that Shelters Us. The –
The annoying little brat.
He whirled around. “WHAT!? What is it you want from me?!”
At his sudden outburst, Myriam all but jumped behind the door frame but didn't leave.
He rubbed his face with his hands. Had he just yelled at a traumatised little girl? Yes, the situation was driving all of them crazy, unable to do anything, sitting on their hands, hoping that Yaden and that over-groomed Psions Guild Speaker would dig up something they could finally smite.
Not that he would have been able to smite much, right now. Thinking about using his powers made his head whine in pain like a high-running engine with sand in the gears. Not too bad, he could have easily ignored it. But he had done so once before, and had paid the price, when he had overextended himself badly during their first training session after his initial manaburn. He remembered all too well how that had felt, so it was definitely not a place he had any intention of going back to any time soon. So he would sit here, guard the family, stay calm, and recover.
But as much as he hated all of that, it was no excuse to act as he had done. Arrogant, cold, selfish.
Almost like Anya.
Shuddering at the thought, he braced himself, plastered a hopefully consoling smile onto his face, and slowly approached the door. It was a small miracle that Myriam had decided to trust him the way she did and he should cherish it.
“Hey, Myriam?” he spoke softly, trying hard not to rattle her any further. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled at you.”
A mop of black hair appeared around the corner, and parts of that hideous, green, lizard plushie she insisted on carrying around.
“I'm not used to having children around, and not being allowed to use my powers, well, it makes me jumpy as fuck.”
She blinked at him with her huge eyes, cautious but thoughtful.
“Oh, for fuck's sake, if you like, you can watch me all you want.” He gestured invitingly into the tiny garden. “Here, you can sit on that rock, so I won't accidentally stumble over you.”
She gave him a tiny smile and slid into the garden, soundlessly arranging herself on the decorative rock in a lotus pose with the lizard in her lap. He gave her an encouraging nod and returned to his spot to continue his katas.
There would have been a bit more space for his exercises in the living room, yes, but the garden was significantly nicer. It was merely a rectangular space between several adjoining pavilions, only a few metres across, but nicely planted, with several small trees and shrubs. There was a birdbath that Colin euphemistically called their 'pond' and a handful of, admittedly artfully distributed, rocks, and gently curving mounds of moss. It was tiny, but beautiful, and it had a scant two square metres of fine gravel, which Ivan was standing on right now.
Centring. Breathe in, breathe out. High Tide, Low Tide.
The Dancing Crab. The Lonely Mourner. High Tide, Low Tide. The Sun Griffin Awakens. Song of the Mother Whale. High Tide, Low Tide. The Mountain that Shelters Us. The –
“Didn't you say you were not supposed to use your powers?”
Ivan snapped out of his trance. “What the -” He hissed, but caught his tongue at the last second.
His first instinct was to scream at her, to put the fear of God into that insolent, ungrateful brat, to hurt her until she would respect her place. To act like a cheap copy of his sister.
That image worked like a bucket of ice water, his temper utterly extinguished before it could flare up properly.
No, never. He would never be like her. Anya had only ever done what she had thought was right, was proper, and she had caused immeasurable pain. He would never be like that. He was better than that crazy bitch in every regard. And that fucking included little girls under his care.
“Yes, I did.” He managed to smile at her. “Why d’you ask?”
“'Cause you move energy?”
Somewhere, very deep in the back of his mind, memories were stirring of his combat teachers telling him colourful stories of the way his katas also influenced the surrounding energies. But he had always assumed they had been visual aids to understand the motions, not actual facts. “I do?”
“Mhm.” She slid off her rock and carefully arranged the lizard in such a way that it could keep watching them, before she took position next to Ivan. “When you do this -”, she waved her arms in an admittedly cute approximation of the Dancing Crab, “it goes all upward and out, like a fountain.” Next was her version of the Sun Griffin, “And this is all radiant, like the sun.”
“You can see all that?”
She shrugged. “Yes?”
“That is, wow.” He smiled at her, this time genuinely impressed. “I can't sense ambient energy for the life of me. I only learned to read residual mana when we were searching for you.”
“Oh.” She crinkled her nose. “Can't everyone sense that?”
“Obviously not.” He flashed her a grin. “Many psions can, but it takes a lot of skill and training, because it's passive and part of the nature that surrounds us.” He looked down at her, her expression wide-eyed and eager to learn, scared and scarred and yet, too curious to stay away. “You are one of a kind, you know that? You fit right in here.”
Her face split into a wide smile, a little sad, but definitely the happiest Ivan had seen her.
“You think you can teach me?” she asked.
“What? The katas?” Ivan blinked. Was this what being a good, big brother felt like? Kinda awesome.
She nodded vigorously. “Those motions. It looks so nice. And maybe I can teach you to sense the ambient energy in return.”
“I doubt that, but you can certainly try.” He moved a step to the side so they both had an even share of the tiny gravel patch. “Let's start with 'The Dancing Crab'. It's fun, and apparently, one of those I am doing right.”
Myriam carefully matched his stance and followed his lead, giggling when he gave her the silly-sounding instructions that came with the form.
He was already better than Anya, in every way. He had made a scared little girl smile and have fun, and it felt like the best thing ever.
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