First Lady,

Raynetta Jefferson

 

I couldn’t get those pictures out of my head for nothing. Nor could I explain why this time seemed so different from all the others. Maybe because my fears had come true. That was, Michelle had a hold on Stephen that he wasn’t willing to let go of. For him to still be involved with her confirmed one thing. He liked her a lot, and for me, that was troubling. Confronting her would be a waste of time. Just as arguing with him was. Stephen knew darn well that he’d had sex with her. He was just trying to spare my feelings and make me believe that he had been putting forth every effort to save our marriage.

Those pictures proved that that was in no way the case. Whether he was upset with me or not, that was the wrong thing to do. And this time, there would be consequences for his actions, because I was tired of being the good wife. I had to do something that would hurt him to the same degree that he had hurt me. For years, and throughout our entire marriage, I had never been unfaithful to him. Not once had I ever sought revenge, but this time would be different. This time, I intended to pursue what I wanted, and not surprisingly, that was one night, just one, with Alex.

After being ignored by Stephen for two days and avoiding him, I put a plan in motion to be alone with Alex. Three days later I told him that I needed to be driven to several events that afternoon. He had no idea what I had been up to, and when the afternoon rolled around, we set off. After he had driven me from one event to the next, I informed him that I was ready to return to the White House.

“But before we go there,” I said from the backseat, “I want to stop at the Omni Hotel to see a friend of mine who just arrived. I promise you that I won’t be long, okay?”

“No problem. And by the way, I enjoyed listening to your speech today. Your message was powerful, and I’m seeing a lot of positive changes in you as the first lady.”

Now, why did he have to go there? I wondered if he would feel the same way after this evening. “Thank you for saying that. I appreciate your compliments. They really mean a lot to me.”

I sat back and enjoyed the ride. When we reached the Omni Hotel, Alex parked in a valet spot and was given clearance to escort me inside. The lobby area was nearly empty, and without being seen, we made our way to the elevator.

“What floor is your friend on?” he asked when we got in the elevator.

I told him where to go, and Alex led the way to the suite while observing our surroundings. He was so good at his job, and after we reached the suite, he knocked on the door.

“What’s your friend’s name?”

“Uh, Tracy. Tracy Buchanan.”

Alex hadn’t a clue what I was up to. He waited for Tracy to open the door, but I knew that she would never come.

“Did you tell her you were coming?” he asked.

“I did, but she told me to just go inside if she wasn’t here when I stopped by.”

I removed the key card from my purse. The card had been delivered to me yesterday at the White House, and the suite was already paid for in full. I stuck the key card in the slot, and when the green light flashed, I opened the door. The first thing that I saw was an ice bucket with wine in the center of a table. On one side of the room was a spacious sitting area decorated with yellow, white, and gold accessories. The old-fashioned cherrywood furniture resembled much of what was in the White House, and all the furniture was polished to perfection. Silk drapes covered the windows, and thick crown molding went from wall to wall. A double-sided fireplace lit up the sitting area, as well as the bedroom area, which was open. Plenty of velvety pillows were on the bed, and dimly lit lamps sat on the nightstands. A lounging chair was in a corner of the bedroom, and a small desk was on the other side. Alex took a seat in the sitting area, then reached for the remote to turn on the TV.

“Nice room,” he said, unbuttoning his suit jacket and propping his feet on the ottoman. “I hope your friend comes soon. If she doesn’t, I’m afraid I may fall asleep.”

I certainly didn’t want him to do that, but when he yawned, I predicted that I didn’t have much time.

“If she’s not here in ten or fifteen minutes, I’ll call her. Meanwhile, I need to use the bathroom. Yell loudly if she comes.”

Alex turned his head sideways and looked at me as I entered the bathroom. I shut the door, then gazed at the huge mirror. I started to feel nervous about this. This was the first time I would ever ask a man, with the exception of Stephen, to make love to me. There was also a part of me that felt guilty. I wondered how Stephen made this seem like an easy thing to do. I bit my nail, but when thoughts of those pictures flashed before me, I decided to push forward. I unzipped my fitted skirt, watched it fall to the floor. My silk blouse was next, and then I removed my heels.

Underneath it all I wore a sheer black negligee with silk thong panties. My breasts were clearly visible, and when I turned around, so were my meaty cheeks. My hair was full of long curls today, but in an effort to look sexier, I had clipped part of my hair up in the back. Several strands dangled along the sides of my face. To wet my lips even more, I had painted them with a shimmery nude gloss. I examined myself in the mirror, thinking about the last time I got dolled up for Stephen. It had been a while—he was always too busy. Nonetheless, he would probably kill me if he knew what I was up to. I didn’t think Alex would tell, and even if he did, I would do as Stephen had done and would not confess.

Finally, it was showtime. I sprayed myself with several dashes of perfume, then looked in the mirror at my nipples, which had already hardened. I opened the door to the bathroom, and from a short distance I saw Alex, with his head leaning slightly to the side. He was snoring lightly, with the remote still in his hand. His chest heaved in and out, and as I stood in front of him, I looked at his coal-black hair, which was trimmed on the sides and spiked more on top. His thin body was fit and displayed much strength. I smiled as I thought about him doing away with his glasses, per my request. He hadn’t worn them since our discussion that day. That proved to me that he cared about what I thought of him.

Ready to wake Alex, I straddled his legs, which were still propped on the ottoman. I bent over until I was face-to-face with him. My lips barely touched his before he jerked his head back and squinted. His eyelids fluttered; eyes grew wider and wider.

“Who . . . What are you doing?”

Alex appeared out of it—maybe a bit confused. That was until I stood up straight, allowing him to see all of me. He quickly removed his legs from the ottoman, then adjusted himself in the chair. After several blinks, his eyes traveled from my breasts to the tiny gap between my legs. The tip of his tongue quickly rolled across his lips before he cleared his throat. His eyes shifted back to mine.

“Why are you dressed like that?” he asked. “Are you waiting for the president or for your friend?”

I moved my head from side to side. “No, I’m not waiting for the president, nor am I waiting for a friend. The only thing I’m waiting for is for you to remove yourself from that chair, take off your clothes, and have sex with me. I know you want to, Alex. I can see it in your eyes.”

Alex swallowed a lump in his throat, then sat up straight. He grabbed at his hair before wiping across his sweaty forehead.

“Just so you know, I don’t appreciate jokes. This is not funny, Raynetta. Why would you do something like this?”

“Do you really think this is a joke? I wholeheartedly confirm that it is not, and I’m willing to do whatever to prove it.”

Kicking things up a notch, I reached for the string on my thong, lowered it past my hips. Alex glanced at my goodies, then lowered his head into his hands, refusing to look.

“Stop this, Raynetta. Please stop this. I don’t want to see you like this, and I wish you . . . you would go put on your clothes so we can leave.”

I tossed the thong in his lap, hoping that he got a whiff of my sweet scent. “You don’t want to leave, Alex. Neither do I. What you really want to do is take off your clothes and touch me all over. I’m granting you permission to do that, so what are you waiting for?”

Alex wiped down his face, then looked at me again. He tried not to look at my private parts, but he couldn’t help himself.

“I’m leaving,” he said in a stern tone. “You can stay here if you want, but—”

He couldn’t find the right words to say. And without any further ado, he stood to leave. As he stepped away from me, I grabbed his hand and made him face me.

“I’m not going to beg you to do this, but here’s the truth. I’m tired of being nice. I’m sick of playing by Stephen’s rules. I don’t want to keep being his doormat. You, of all people, know what he has done to me. The only other man I’m interested in is you. The only other man I’ve thought about is you. You’re the one who makes me laugh when I want to cry. You understand me, and you are so kind and sweet to me. Allow this to happen, even if it’s just once. It will be our secret, and I will never, ever tell one single person. You have my word.”

Alex appeared to be defeated, but he also looked as if he wanted to run. “I . . . I don’t know how to respond to what you just said to me, but the one thing I will say is there is no way in hell that I’m having sex with you. I’m not interested in you, and I’m sorry that the president is making you feel this way. You need to speak to him about your concerns, Raynetta. Talk to him, because all of this . . . this is wrong.”

His rejection didn’t feel good. Maybe I was wrong, but then again, maybe I wasn’t. “I don’t believe that you’re not interested in me. Your eyes tell me that you are. I see the way you look at me.”

“I look at you that way because it’s my job to pay attention to you. And while you’re a very beautiful woman, I . . . Again, I’m not interested.”

Feeling desperate for an explanation, I pushed, with frustration in my voice. “Why not? What is wrong with you? Am I not good enough?”

Alex reached out and held my shoulders. He searched my eyes before taking a deep breath. “You are more than good enough. I . . . I’m just not into women. I’m gay, okay? I prefer men.”

It felt as if someone had punched me right in the gut. I couldn’t even repeat what he’d said, and I was so embarrassed that all I could do was slowly back away from him and apologize. My eyes watered; this was one very disappointing moment. Alex couldn’t bear to look at me, and when he headed for the door to leave, I rushed into the bathroom to gather myself. I quickly wiped my face with a wet towel, then removed the clip from my hair. As I raked the strands with my fingers, thoughts of what had just happened made me feel sick.

I was too ashamed to leave the room and go meet Alex in the car. Of course he would wait for me, but I just didn’t want to face him right now. More than anything, I was ashamed of myself. This wasn’t me, and as beautiful and intelligent as I was, my insecurities had gotten the best of me. I was so pleased that Alex had the courage to stop this. I wasn’t sure if he had told the truth about being gay or not, but if I had to put some money on it, I would say that he wasn’t. He had just made the right decision for both of us. And if he hadn’t done so, I would be living with many regrets.

Feeling slightly better, I splashed my face with water. I patted it with a towel, then laid the towel on the counter. I had to call the front desk, ask them to find Alex parked outside, and tell him to leave. I didn’t want him to stay the night, and this was the perfect opportunity for me to relax and reflect. I opened the bathroom door, and to my surprise, Alex stood on the other side, naked. I swallowed hard, then quickly glanced below his tight abs. His chest heaved in and out, and without saying a word, he grabbed my waist, pulled me to him.

“I don’t know why I can’t walk away,” he said. “But I wish like hell that I could. You very well may be the death of me, Raynetta, but I’ve waited many months to do this.”

Alex’s lips touched mine, but I backed my head away from him.

“No, I’m sorry, but you were right,” I said. “We can’t do this. We shouldn’t be doing this, and I apologize for bringing you here. Please forgive me.”

He ignored everything I’d said, and as he pulled me toward the bed, I was surprised by his aggressiveness.

“No, we should be doing this,” he said. “I’ve always wanted to do this, and you don’t owe me an apology for anything.”

It wasn’t until Alex pushed me back on the bed that I realized how serious this was. He lay on top of me while holding my hands over my head and roughly sucking my neck. I kept turning my head from side to side, trying to make him stop.

“Alex, please,” I said, attempting to get through to him. “I don’t want this. You don’t, either, so let’s just go and—”

“No,” he replied, then released my hands. “You can’t tell me what I want. I know what I want, Raynetta, and that would be you.”

Alex expressed just that sentiment when he yanked the sheer fabric aside to expose one of my breasts. His whole mouth covered it, and as I squirmed and tried to push him away, his body seemed to get heavier. I rejected his touch over and over again. Did my best to convince him not to go further, but Alex would not listen.

“You’re going to regret this.” I squeezed his hand to prevent him from touching me. “I said I don’t want this, and you must listen to me before this goes too far.”

“I am listening. I’m listening to your body, which says you do want this. You need this, and you can’t just walk away from what we’re feeling now.”

I tried to walk away, but to no avail. Alex was one strong man. He held me down, and within a matter of seconds, he entered me, using much force. I felt so responsible for this; I shouldn’t have ever brought him to this hotel room. I was the one who had seduced him, so was it fair for me then to say no? Hell yes, it was, but saying no had come too late. I lay there like a bump on a log, numb. And seeing how uncooperative I was, Alex opened his eyes, which were previously tightly closed.

“What is wrong with you?” he said, halting his strokes. “You just can’t do this, Raynetta. Don’t you understand that I have feelings too?”

I slowly nodded my head. “I do, but please get off of me. Now, Alex, right now.”

He released a deep sigh before easing out and backing away from me. Disgust was written all over his face, and after he went into the bathroom, he slammed the door. I remained on the bed, numb as ever. What a huge mistake this was, and unfortunately for me, I had a feeling that I had unleashed a monster.