JUDE
The most beautiful house I’ve ever seen rises in front of me, practically a mansion. Nothing like the crappy apartments and motels where Dad and I stay. This place doesn’t have rats and roaches…or any of the other things that keep me awake at night.
Luca squeezes my shoulder, and I flinch, taking a step to the side and watching him carefully. I still haven’t figured out what the man wants from me, why he’s doing this, but I will.
Everyone always wants something…
He jerks his hand back apologetically. “Sorry. Don’t worry. The Hawkes will love you. They love everybody.” The corner of his mouth quirks up. “Even me and that can be really fucking hard sometimes.”
What does that even mean?
Ever since he found me, he’s been making weird comments like that, saying things that don’t make any sense. But I won’t ever ask. I keep my mouth shut as much as possible around Luca and Byron. There isn’t anything to say. Nothing I would ever want them to know.
Luca motions toward the front door, and I glance behind me at Byron, who offers me an encouraging smile.
Byron steps up next to me, keeping his hands clasped together in front of him, far away from me, like he can tell I might run if he touches me. “Let’s go in.”
In there?
It’s like something out of a fairy tale. Christmas lights hang from every eave and twinkle in the darkness settling around us. A sleigh with nine tiny reindeer sits in the middle of the yard, a Santa waving to the cars passing by, the mechanical “ho, ho, ho” cutting through the silent, chilly air.
We never had a sleigh. Never had a Santa. Never had a lawn or anywhere to hang lights. Not even a tree…
This isn’t where I belong. These people. This house…
I retreat a step, but Byron inclines his head toward the flickering holiday lights, encouraging me forward.
“We don’t need to stay long if you don’t want to.” He squats in front of me, putting his eyes on my level. “We’ll just get some of Nana’s great food and then head back home.”
Home.
He said the word so easily, like the beautiful condo they brought me to yesterday has suddenly become that for me. But it can’t be that simple.
Luca slowly walks up the path to the front door, then peers over his shoulder to ensure I’m following. I take one small step at a time, running my shaking hand over the unfamiliar crisp fabric of the button-down shirt they gave me.
He knocks but doesn’t wait for anyone to answer, just opens the door inward and motions for me to enter. The most magnificent scent hits me—something warm, rich, and spicy that makes my mouth water and my stomach rumble even though they ensured I ate breakfast and lunch, far more than I have eaten in a long time.
Christmas music plays from speakers I can’t see, and I scan the small entryway that branches off on either side into larger, open rooms. At least a dozen people sit and stand around a living room immediately to the right, chatting and laughing, a few even playing some sort of board game at a table in the corner.
None of them even look our way as Luca closes the door behind us.
He squats in front of me, his dark eyes soft. “Just remember, you have every right to be here.”
Can he read my thoughts?
Something sour climbs my throat, and I swallow it back so I don’t puke on these people’s beautiful floors.
Does he know?
That thought, that Luca and Byron might know what I was doing outside the club…
Don’t embarrass them.
I squeeze my eyes closed and force myself to breathe before I open them again.
Byron motions to the left toward a dining room where a long table is set immaculately with red tablecloths, fancy plates, and more silverware per person than I’ve ever seen in my life. “That’s where we’ll eat.”
Jesus, these people are loaded.
I look down at myself again, at the shirt and new dark jeans Luca and Byron bought for me—the first clothes I’ve ever had that came with tags still on them.
They feel weird.
Too tight.
Too clean.
Too new.
Luca raises his hand to rest it on my shoulder again but pulls it back before he makes contact and smiles. “You look good. Let’s see if we can find you a friend.”
A friend.
That’s what they said—that they were friends. That they wouldn’t hurt me. That they only wanted to help.
Others have promised that, too.
But they always want something.
My stomach turns, and I try to hide my instinct to gag.
That pretty blonde doctor from last night said I was okay, that I wasn’t sick at all, but I don’t feel right. My skin too tight. My chest weighed down by something sitting on it. My hands sweaty and shaking.
Luca pushes to his feet, his black pants falling perfectly into place again, and motions for me to follow him in. I don’t have a choice.
Where would I go if I left? If I ran?
We walk past the living room and dining room. Several people stop their conversation and watch us, their eyes wide or narrowed curiously. The blond doctor stands near a fireplace. She smiles and gives me a little wave.
I lower my head, hiding behind the hair that always falls over my eyes. Byron’s voice behind me makes me glance back, and I find him stopped, talking to a group in the living room. Maybe trying to explain why this strange little boy is in their home.
When I definitely shouldn’t be…
The instinct to turn and bolt out that front door, run and not stop until I find a familiar street and Dad, hits me so hard that I drop my eyes to the floor to check for any obstructions between me and my escape.
You can’t go back…
Somehow, my feet keep moving me forward, following Luca into a kitchen where he embraces an older woman with grayish-white hair and an apron over her green and red dress. He whispers something to her, and her eyes dart to me, widening slightly, still vibrant even in her old age.
She pulls away from Luca and approaches, bending down to me. “Hi, Jude. You can call me ‘Nana.’”
I stare, unable to pull my eyes from hers, and she stares right back at me, as if she can see straight into me and every dirty secret I hold there.
The corner of her mouth curls slightly. “I think I should introduce you to some of the grandkids.”
How many of these people are there?
Too many.
The sounds of dozens of people mix with the music, filling my ears, making it impossible to think. I wipe my sweaty hands on my jeans and continue to stare at the woman as she waits for a response from me that I can’t give her.
She pushes to her full height and offers me her hand. When I don’t slip mine into hers, she gives me another smile. “Come on.”
I glance up at Luca, and he nods his approval.
“Go with her.”
All the noise. The lights. The laughter. My head starts to pound as my chest tightens.
The woman who insisted I call her “Nana” leads me down a hallway with several open doors on either side. “Here’s the bathroom if you need it. These are the bedrooms. Most of the older kids are out back since the chillier weather doesn’t seem to faze them. Playing poker or something else they shouldn’t be.” She makes a tsking sound with her tongue and shakes her head, but her lips curl playfully. “I think Alessandra, Isaac, and Pope, who are closer to your age, are back here.”
Who?
She drops names like I should know who they are. Maybe she has no idea that I’ve only been with Luca and Byron for twenty-four hours and barely know their names.
We reach an open door at the end of the hall, and she steps through it. Three heads pop up from where they sit together in the middle of the bed. My eyes dart over the two boys quickly, but when they reach the girl, my breath catches.
Long dark hair spills around her face and down her back, and piercing blue eyes meet mine. “Who’s this, Nana?”
The two boys watch me suspiciously.
Nana motions to me. “Pope, Isaac, Alessandra, this is Jude. He came with Luca and Byron.”
The three kids exchange confused looks, then the girl slides from the bed and holds out her hand.
She grins at me expectantly. “Allie.”
I stare down at it until she finally pulls it back and shrugs.
“Okay, we were going to play Uno.” She points to the cards piled on the mattress. “You want to play?”
Uno?
Allie’s brow furrows, waiting for my response, and Nana squeezes her shoulder.
The older woman nods toward me. “Why don’t you just let Jude watch until he understands the game?”
“Okay.” Allie runs back to the bed and climbs onto it, grinning at the two boys as Nana retreats from the room with an encouraging smile. “Watch me decimate both of them.”
The dark-haired boy with blue eyes Nana introduced as Isaac scowls. “You wish.”
Allie elbows him as she deals the cards. “You two are about to get killed.”
I recoil and squeeze my eyes closed, all the air rushing from my lungs in one whoosh. Something heavy pushes against my chest, my vision blurring. I press my hand over my heart, trying to breathe, but all that comes is short, shallow breaths that won’t fill my lungs.
“Jude?”
My name comes from far away, as if somebody’s saying it from a different part of the house. I try to open my eyes, but the room spins around me. I stagger back toward the open door and into the hallway. Running my hand along the wall, I move forward until it hits the jamb of the next door.
Tumbling into the room to my knees, I try not to pass out like I have so many times before, fighting the darkness, scanning ahead of me with blurry vision.
An open closet.
I crawl into it, past some clothes, and into the back corner. Sitting with my knees pulled against my chest, I drop my head on them, trying to block out the memories racing through my mind.
Blood.
So much blood.
Pain.
Screams.
The clothes to my left move slightly, and I jerk my head up and press myself even farther into the corner.
Allie’s blue eyes meet mine, and she offers me a little half-smile as she pulls the closet doors shut behind her, leaving one cracked just enough that a tiny sliver of light filters in.
What is she doing?
She slips in and sits next to me. Her shoulder brushes mine, and she pulls her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them, mirroring me. Without a word, she drops her cheek against her knee so she’s facing me and gives me a tiny smile, barely visible in the darkness.
Silence settles around us—the noise from all the people and music muffled by the walls and clothes. Her steady breathing fills the air. Slowly, I’m able to take a breath again, then another.
Everything stops spinning.
The red that filled my vision disappears, and my shoulders relax on a heavy sigh.
For the first time in forever, for one second, I almost feel safe.
* * *
ANGELINA
I tug open the sliding glass door, but a chorus of grumbling sounds from behind me, making me turn back toward the table I just vacated. Kennedy, Atlas, and Astrid all glare at Bishop, who wears a smug grin on her face as she rakes all the money from the central pot toward her.
She points a finger at each of them. “You are all sore losers.”
They should be used to it by now. That girl is a damn shark.
Coen watches from his chair, his eyes on her pile, far too young to play with the older cousins but intent on being part of the action any way he can. I ignore their bickering and step into Nana’s house, beelining for the kitchen where Mom, Aunt Skye, and Nana are working on dinner and likely approaching the time they’ll need more hands. “Mom, you ready for my help?”
She glances up from whatever she’s mixing and nods. “Yes. I need you to make the salad and start bringing some things to the table. Can you please grab your sister and have her come help, too?”
“Got it.” I lean to try to see into the living room, where just about everyone has gathered for pre-dinner drinks and games. “Where is she?”
She nods toward the back hallway. “One of the bedrooms, with the boys.”
As usual.
They’re like three little peas in a pod. Practically inseparable. Except when Isaac and Pope get annoyed with Allie beating them at whatever game they’re playing.
“All right.” I make my way down the hall toward the sound of Pope and Isaac bickering in the back bedroom. Leaning against the doorjamb, I watch them shove a stack of cards around, debating who said Uno first. “Where’s my sister?”
They both shrug absently, and Pope motions toward the hall.
His dark-bourbon eyes flash toward me for a moment. “I don’t know. She disappeared after Jude.”
“Who the hell is Jude?”
Isaac and Pope exchange an awkward look, and Isaac shrugs, finally wrangling the cards from Pope.
Pope scowls at Isaac and leans back on his elbows on the mattress. “I don’t know. Apparently, he showed up with Byron and Luca. Looks like he’s about our age.”
“Huh…”
Where the hell did Luca and Byron pick up a kid?
I’m confident there’s a story there. There always is when Luca is involved, and I’m sure we’ll all hear about it later. Right now, I need to find Allie. “Any idea where they went?”
They both shake their heads and return to their card game, apparently unconcerned with the new arrival or Alessandra vanishing with him.
Though, they can’t have gone far.
I stick my head into each bedroom on my way down the short corridor, scanning for any sign of them, but I come up empty.
Where the hell did they go?
Nana’s house isn’t that big, and with everyone here, there shouldn’t be anywhere to hide where someone wouldn’t see them. Even if they tried to sneak outside, the adults in the living room or the guys at the table on the back patio would have seen them.
I wander out into the living room where Byron, Luca, and pretty much the entire Hawke clan sit or stand around, talking and laughing, the colorful lights on the Christmas tree in the corner reflecting off the glasses of whatever they’re indulging in tonight—likely some of Uncle Savage’s favorite Barolo.
Uncle Savage turns his head away from his conversation with Luca and Byron and raises an eyebrow. “You need something?”
“Have you guys seen Allie?”
He shakes his head. “No, why?”
Savage always knows what’s happening with everyone, which means wherever they are, they’re being careful to hide it. I sigh and run a hand through my hair. “Isaac and Pope said she went after Jude.”
Luca and Byron exchange a look, and Savage drums his fingers on his knee, his brow furrowed.
Byron climbs from his seat. “We’ll help you find him.”
He steps up to Luca and whispers something in his ear. Luca nods and gives me a tight smile, his already-dark eyes darkening even more than normal.
Unease starts to coil around the base of my spine.
They’re not telling me something…
Not that it’s unusual, especially when they’re discussing business. But this isn’t business.
What could they possibly be hiding about this kid?
That question lingers in my head as they follow me from the room toward the hallway.
Savage motions down toward the bedrooms. “Angelina and I will check the house.” His gaze darts to Luca and Byron. “You two check outside and ask the other kids out there if anyone has seen them.”
Everyone nods their agreement, and Bryon and Luca beeline for the front and back doors while Savage follows me down the hall toward the bedrooms.
I pop my head into Mom’s old room, now used mostly for storage unless someone has to crash here for some reason. My gaze bounces over the small space, and I start to leave when the slightly cracked closet door makes me pause.
When I was in here earlier to grab a jacket for Bishop to wear outside, I swear I left it open…
I take a few steps toward the closet, listening for any signs that Allie might be in there with this mysterious Jude, but the only thing filling my ears is the Christmas music Nana has piped through the house and the occasional raucous laughter from the living room.
What would Allie be doing in the closet with a boy she doesn’t even know?
Crap.
She’s only ten, and that was a long time ago for me, but I remember getting that first crush on a boy and wanting that first kiss. It would be just like her to rush for it with someone she had just met, too.
I pull the doors open all the way, exposing two sets of shoes in the corner, then tug the clothes off to the side to catch them in the act.
Better me than Mom or Landon, or God forbid, Uncle Savage…
Allie lifts her head from her knee and turns toward me, then shoots her hand out to my arm quickly before I say anything, her eyes wide with warning.
My gaze darts to the blond boy beside her, huddled in the darkest corner of the closet. The most brilliant Nordic-blue eyes I’ve ever seen stare back at me, brimming with so much fear in them that my heart instantly shatters.
What happened to this boy?
Allie squeezes my arm. “Ang, this is Jude. Jude, this is my sister, Angelina. She’s cool. You can trust her.”
Trust me?
It’s an odd choice of words for a ten-year-old, but seeing the petrified look in Jude’s eyes stops me from questioning it. Wherever he came from, however he got to Luca and Byron, it was a horrible road—one that’s left him scared and scarred. Anyone could see that with one glance at the kid.
I swallow past the emotion clogging my throat and offer him a little half-smile. “Hi, Jude.”
He doesn’t respond, just continues to stare at me as if he doesn’t quite understand what he’s looking at. I shake Allie’s hand free and slowly reach in and set my palm on his forearm where he has it draped over his knees. A little spark jumps where our bodies connect, but he doesn’t flinch away from my touch like I expect; he just stares at my hand on him for a few seconds before he glances up at me.
“It’s okay to be overwhelmed by all this.” I wave my free hand absently, then squeeze him gently. “I’ve been a part of this family for twenty-two years, and even I can’t handle it all the time.”
Allie glances between us, watching both Jude and me. “Our family is a little…” She struggles for the word. “Um…complicated?”
Exactly.
I nod my agreement and glance around the closet Nana uses to store all her extra clothes. “This is a good hiding spot. Quiet. Away from the fray. If you want to stay in here the whole time, I can bring you food when it’s ready and make sure nobody bothers you.”
A second of silence hangs in the tight space, then Jude releases a massive rush of air, as if he’s been holding it in his lungs the entire time, and gives a sharp nod.
Smiling, I squeeze his arm again. “Don’t worry. You’ll be okay, kiddo.” I wink at him, then push to my feet. “I got you.”
“Allie, Mom and Nana need help in the kitchen, but why don’t you stay here with Jude and keep him company unless he’d rather be alone?”
He glances at Allie and back at me, shaking his head. “I want her to stay.”
His words come softly, like he’s afraid to even speak them or what might happen if he does. The reality of what could have made him so timid and fearful makes tears burn in my eyes.
Allie beams at him, then places her hand on his knee, interlocking their fingers. “We’ll be okay. Will you bring me a plate, too?”
I nod, then retreat and close the doors, sealing them back into the space that seems to make that beautiful, broken boy feel safe.
What have Luca and Byron gotten themselves into?
Closing the bedroom door, I lean back against it, squeezing my eyes closed. Heavy footsteps make me finally look to the right, and Luca approaches, concern knitting his brow.
“Did you find them?”
I nod and motion toward the living room to ensure we’re out of earshot of the kids. He narrows his eyes but follows me from the hallway, and I pull him toward the small alcove outside the kitchen.
Scanning around to make sure no one is listening, I lean in closer to him. “He’s in the closet with Allie.”
His eyebrows rise to his hairline. “In the closet?”
“Not what you think.” That boy’s face flashes through my head, an image I doubt I’ll ever be able to forget. “He looked terrified, Luca, like he thought…”
I can’t even put into words what I saw in those blue eyes.
Luca sighs and runs his hand through his dark hair just starting to grow gray at the temples. “I’m worried about him. Do you think we should leave? Bring him back to our place?” He glances around at everyone bustling to get dinner ready. “Maybe this was too much on only his first full day with us.”
I rest my hand on his arm, giving him a gentle squeeze. For all the horrible things Luca Abello has done in his life, he has a good heart. Otherwise, he never would’ve been forgiven. He never would’ve been let into this family. He never would’ve gained our trust, and he certainly wouldn’t be with Byron. He’s trying to do the right thing with that boy back there—whatever that might be.
“I think he’s okay with Allie. He seems to like her.”
The corner of his lip twitches. “Well, that’s easy to do. She’s a good kid.”
I chuckle and pull my hand away. “Are we talking about the same Alessandra, the one who keeps stealing my makeup and clothes, even though they’re way too big for her?”
He grins at me. “You’re lucky you have a sister. I was an only child, and my father wasn’t exactly Dad of the Year.”
I flinch at his reference to Dom Abello, the man who caused so much agony for our family and so many others. If Luca hadn’t been raised away from his father for so long, I doubt he would have ended up even half the human being he is today.
A long sigh slips from Luca’s lips. “I don’t know what I’m doing with that kid, Ang.”
The uncertainty in his eyes, the worry for both that boy and for himself and Byron, renews my faith that he can do it. He cares too much not to.
“You and Byron will be okay. Is he going to stay with you for long?”
“I don’t know.” He rubs a hand against the dark stubble on his jaw. “This is all very new. We need to take some time to figure out what’s going to happen and what we need to do to make sure he stays safe.”
“Safe?” There’s that word again. “Safe from what?”
Luca glances around, then back down the hall toward the door to Mom’s room. “From the man who calls himself his father.”