The sky brightened as dawn arrived. I vaguely remembered leaving the camp before bed time and travelling through the forest all night, but I didn’t understand why we would have done that. Mason slid me gently off his back. We were in some sort of small cave and I could hear the stream rushing outside. Mason stepped near the opening of the cave. Silhouetted with the filtered morning sunlight in the background, he looked like he used to in my dreams. My eyes got heavy and the next time I opened them, he was kneeling next to me. He tipped a huge, green, waxy leaf up towards my lips. The cool water rolled forward on the leaf and I forgot to tell my mouth to open, so it ran down my jaw. He tipped the leaf back for a second, then tried again. I was able to split my lips open just enough to let the water trickle in. My eyes closed and I saw my dad. He was standing in the snow. He seemed worried.
“Is something wrong?” I asked Sophie before she tipped a leaf full of water towards my mouth.
“Just drink.”
“Okay.” My throat didn’t open and the water choked me. “Are we in Britannia Beach?”
“Almost.”
My hands shook so bad it seemed as if I had a tremor. When I looked back up at Sophie, everything went dark. “I can’t see you. Where did you go?”
“I’m right here.” I felt her hand on mine.
“Why can’t I see you?”
“You’re just tired, Deri.”
“Can you tell Trevor to come here?”
“Yeah.”
The wound burned with a radiating throb that expanded over more and more of my back with each passing minute. It felt like someone had heated up a fireplace poker until it was white hot, then drove it into my body and twisted it around. Mason sat with me propped up in his lap. His arms wrapped around me to keep me warm.
“My dad is here. He’s with Cody. Do you want to meet him?”
Mason kissed my forehead. “Not right now, Deri. Tell him I’ll meet him some other time. Not right now.”
“Okay. What happened?”
“Don’t worry about anything right now. Just concentrate on getting better.”
“I’m shot.”
“You’re going to be okay.”
“But, they shot Orrett, right?”
“He’s going to be okay, too.”
“Did they shoot him because I called you Mason?”
“No. They shot him because I am Mason.”
“Are we in Mexico?”
“Just rest, Deri.”
“Okay.”
Dad, what if I don’t get to be where you are? What if I can’t be with you because of the bad thing I did? I think people are dead because of what I did. It’s bad. Really bad. I might not be forgiven. Obviously, I don’t deserve to be with you. That’s my punishment. I’m sorry if that hurts you. Maybe it doesn’t. I must be a colossal disappointment to you.
The damp floor of the cave dug into the bony parts of my shoulder blades and hips, but moving caused excruciating pain in my back, so I endured the discomfort. I wanted to whimper, but since I was starting to remember that it was entirely my fault, I wouldn’t let myself. I was glad I was the one who was going to die. I deserved to suffer and I was glad it was taking painfully long. I could feel a hand holding mine. It was rough and strong and it felt so familiar.
“Trevor?” I smiled. “Please keep Mason and Sophie safe. Sorry I screwed up.”
The hand moved and ran down the contour of my face. I fell asleep.
When I opened my eyes, it was getting dark again outside the cave, so at least one day had gone by. I turned my head to see who was holding me. It was Mason. “Where did Trevor go?”
“Uh, he’ll be back soon.” Mason rested his palm on my forehead as if he was checking my temperature. “He’s getting you some more water. He wants you to drink more water so you’ll get stronger.”
“Okay.”
I closed my eyes and dreamed about Trevor when he was old. He had children who were grown and their families were visiting for a summer barbecue in the back yard. One of his grandsons, who looked just like Trevor, asked Trevor to tell him his best rescue story. Trevor told him about the time he had to fly all the way to Mexico to try to save someone from men with guns. The grandkids all thought he was making it up.
I woke up from the dream and felt the dampness of the cave soaking into my skin. Sophie and Mason talked near the opening. He was shirtless and she was just wearing a bra and shorts, so obviously their shirts were still acting as gauze for my bullet hole. I tried to shout out to them. It came out like a husky whisper, “Tell Trevor to come back inside. I’m cold.”
Mason turned and walked over. He cradled me and moved me to a spot where the sun was angling into the cave, then he knelt and slid in next to me. He whispered in my ear, “Trevor’s looking for a way to get us out of here. I’ll keep you warm until he gets back.”
“Okay.”
When I woke up again, I knew Trevor was back. I could feel the side of my face resting on his warm chest. I could hear his heart beating and it made me feel safe. When he felt me move, he wrapped his arms even tighter around me.
“Trevor, I’m going to die. Will you be able to forgive me?”
“No,” he whispered almost inaudibly.
“Did you find a way to get Mason and Sophie home?”
He kissed the top of my head, but didn’t say anything. I wasn’t sure if he was reassuring me that he would get them home soon, or if he was consoling me because that wasn’t going to happen.
“I’m glad you’re here.” I tilted my head up and pressed my lips against his. It felt so good to kiss him again, almost like the first time. It felt as if electricity was pulsating through my body and it made me feel better.
The next time I woke up, Mason was sitting with me again. He looked tense and concerned.
“Hey.” I smiled and my lips cracked from the dryness. “Don’t look so worried. Trevor will get you out of here. He won’t quit until you’re safe. I promise.”
Mason forced a smile. “Trevor wants you to get stronger so we can all go home. Can you do that for him?”
I nodded.
“Do you still have the Tylenol 3s Orrett gave you?”
“Maybe in my pocket.”
Mason reached into my pocket and pulled out the plastic bag. He placed two in my mouth and tipped some water from a leaf in so I could swallow. I closed my eyes and concentrated very hard on healing my body because Trevor wanted me to. I imagined an army of little workers rushing around inside me. I pretended they were repairing everything that needed to be fixed. They cleaned and rebuilt all of my internal organs and tissues. It was kind of cute and funny. When they discovered the bullet wound, they all looked up at it like a meteor had created a big gaping hole in the ceiling. They each comically scratched their heads in bewilderment.
Sophie woke me up to drink more water from the leaf.
“Does Trevor think we can leave soon?” I asked her.
Her eyebrows angled together, her forehead creased, and her lips formed into her sympathetic pout. “Soon,” she said.
I faded in and out of sleep, or maybe it was consciousness. I lost track of how many times the sun had come and gone outside of the little cave. My dreams were crazy and didn’t make any sense. Sometimes, there were people who I didn’t even know in my dreams. Other times it was Sophie, Mason, and me. The three of us were sailing in a boat in the middle of the ocean and we realized there was a hole in the hull and we were taking on water. Sophie and Mason tried to bail the water out with big leaves, but it was filling the boat faster than they could scoop it out. I woke up all sweaty and breathing heavy.
By the following afternoon, I was able to sit up on my own and I was feeling a little bit better. Sophie helped me stand and walked me down to get cleaned up with the stream water.
“How many days have we been here?”
“Two,” she said as she helped me to sit on the shore with my back to the water. She reclined me and splashed water over my hair.
“That’s it? Trevor got here so quickly. How long did it take him to find us?”
Sophie didn’t answer. She cupped her hands to splash water over the rest of my hair.
“Sophie. How long has Trevor been here?”
She sighed, sat me back up, and moved to sit down on the dirt. She rested her elbows on her knees and looked at me with the most pitiful expression. “Trevor’s not here. You were just imagining him.”
“What?” I stood up but got dizzy and fell to my knees next to the stream. “No. He was here. He came for us. I know he did.”
“You were delirious. You only imagined him.”
“No.” I sat on my knees for a long time, staring out at the trees. “I was talking to him.”
“No. You thought you were talking to him.”
I folded my hands together and rested my forehead on them. I was pretty sure God only answered prayers for people who went to church, but I wanted to pray. I needed to.
“Dear God, please help Trevor to find us. I know he’s looking and I know he won’t stop until he finds us. Please guide him in the right direction and keep him safe. I know I have no right to ask You for any favours, but Trevor does and he’s going to try, whether You help him or not. Thank you.”
I looked over at Sophie and she smiled with sadness in her eyes. “Let’s finish getting you cleaned up.”
“Do you think God will answer my prayer?”
“Yes.”
I stripped down to my underwear, took my brace off, and stepped into the water. I dunked down just far enough to keep the bullet wound out of the water. I felt better for about two minutes before I remembered something that brought all of my hopes crashing down. My heart sunk into a heavy puddle in the bottom of my chest as I realized that my prayer wasn’t going to be answered. My visions had all been about Trevor being lost and never finding me.
I looked over at Sophie, who was swimming in the water. She didn’t notice that I was on the verge of freaking out. I held my hands under the water so it wouldn’t be obvious how badly they were shaking. I didn’t know if I felt more like crying or swearing. The whole reason I told Trevor not to go on any rescues was because I knew all along that he was going to fail. I just didn’t know it was me he was going to fail to find. The worst part was I knew he was going to try anyway. He was going to be devastated that he couldn’t rescue us.
“Do you think the cartel guys are still out there?” I asked.
She shrugged. “We heard some voices not far away yesterday afternoon, but they were too far away to tell what they were saying or who they were.”
I finished washing, climbed out of the water, and sat in the sun next to my clothes. My legs were shaking, so I hugged my arms around my knees to keep them still. The ring Trevor gave me sparkled in the sunshine. I stared at it as I spun it around and around on my finger.
“Mason and I think his dad has probably sent someone out to search for us.”
“I don’t think they’ll find us.”
“Why?”
“In my vision Trevor was lost and couldn’t find us. I think it means we’re screwed unless we get out of here on our own.”
“Great.” She waded out of the water and passed Mason on her way up to the cave.
He walked down and sat next to me on a rock. “Everything okay?”
I sighed and kicked the water. “Trevor doesn’t know we’re lost, and even if he did, he wouldn’t know where to start to look for us.”
“My dad will know that I went missing with you. They’ll figure it out. Someone will find us.”
“You think?”
“Sure. They’ve probably already sent a team out searching.” He sighed. “Unless the drug cartel stayed at the camp and prevented the volunteers from contacting my dad.”
“So, it’s possible that no one outside the camp knows what happened?”
“It’s possible.” He stood as if he was in pain and tried unsuccessfully to straighten his leg.
“What’s wrong?”
“The knee I had surgery on swells a little when I run too much on it.”
“A little?” I waded out of the water and followed him onto shore, then reached over to place my palm on his leg. “It’s the size of a cantaloupe, and hot. You need to soak it in the stream.”
“I have been. It doesn’t hurt. Now that you’re feeling a bit better, I’ll carry you again.”
“You can’t carry me if your knee is that swollen.” I sighed and closed my eyes to help me think. “I’m almost strong enough to walk. We can make our way down the mountain. All we have to do is find the main road or a village.”
“We have no food. You’re only going to get weaker. We’re all going to get weaker.”
“We don’t need food for a while. We’ll be fine as long as we have water.”
“Yeah? Did you see that in a vision?”
“No.”
He turned slightly when I said that, and I noticed he also had an injury.
“Mason! Your arm.”
“It’s fine. The bullet only grazed it.”
I examined the wound close up. “It’s still bleeding.”
“Again? Shit. It won’t stop, for some reason. It’s not even that bad.” He tore a leaf off a nearby tree and applied it with pressure on his arm.
“Here, let me.” I stood and moved his hand away so I could use both my hands to apply pressure.
“I can’t even tell you how sorry I am that I put you guys in danger. I want you to hate me,” he said and winced from the pain.
“That’s not possible. Besides, it’s my fault we’re in danger. I want you to hate me.”
“That’s not possible.”
I tipped my head up to meet his eyes. They had turned the darker shade of blue that only happened when he was sad. I suddenly remembered I had kissed someone when I thought Trevor was sitting with me in the cave. “Did I kiss you?”
He stared at me for a while, licked his bottom lip, and said, “No.”
“That’s good,” I said, even though I knew he lied. “I don’t want to complicate things.”
“Yeah, things are pretty complicated already.”
“Do you think Orrett is—?”
“I don’t know. Let’s not worry about any of that.” He stretched his arm across my shoulder and pulled me in for a hug. “Let’s just worry about getting out of here alive. Nothing else matters right now.”