{ 8 }
He was simply taking some decent dog bones and puppy chew toys, Jared reminded himself as he banged his way down the rutted drive to Erin’s place. It was the responsible thing to do when a woman was looking after your dog.
Neighborly.
If he also wanted to check up on her, knowing she was hurting, that was his business.
He pulled to a stop in front of the cottage and jumped out of the truck. The day was gray and overcast but the rain had stopped. For now.
He banged on her front door but heard nothing.
Her car was out front so he knew she was home.
He banged again.
Waited.
“Erin?” he yelled through the door.
Nothing.
He felt the first stirrings of unease. If he hadn’t needed to get home for Sadie last night he’d have offered to stay on her couch. Nobody knew better than him how the blue demons could get to a person in the night.
He banged again.
Yelled.
“Erin,” he shouted in frustration. He barely knew the woman. She hadn’t seemed the kind to harm herself, but… He tried the door. Found it unlocked.
For a split second he pondered the morality of walking into someone else’s home uninvited, then got over himself and walked in. “Erin?” he called again.
She wasn’t in the main room, or the bedroom, no signs of Erin except the elusive scent of her.
He heard the river rushing by outside, swollen from all the rain, and suffered a bad moment. Then he put down the bag he was holding and cursed himself for a fool.
The dog wasn’t here either. Nor, when he glanced at the spot beside the door, was the leash.
Shutting the door behind him, he debated with himself, then plunged off down the path beside the river.
He didn’t have far to go down the shaded green path that dripped when any part of him brushed against a branch. The dog saw him first and went into full on happy fit, pulling on the leash and yipping. It was obvious that Erin had been brooding, but she smiled when she saw him and strode toward him on long jean-clad legs tucked into the boots he suspected the puppy napped in.
A gray woolen short coat and a red scarf and somehow she looked like she’d stepped out of a magazine. It was probably all that hair, curling and swinging around her shoulders that made her look so glamorous.
The pup had reached him now, and his whole body wriggled with happiness. Jared squatted to pat him. “Hey, buddy.”
“Hi,” she said. “What brings you out here?”
“I bought the dog some real chew toys. How are you doing today?” He glanced up.
“Better. Thanks for being there last night.”
He rose and fell into step with her as the three of them made their way along the trail.
“Did Sadie wake up?”
“Nope. Never even knew I was gone. She tired herself out finishing her list for Santa.”
He reached into his back pocket for his wallet. Pulled out a folded piece of paper covered in Sadie’s best, most careful printing. Offered it to Erin.
The letter said:
Dear Santa. I have been a good girl all year. Mostly. Please bring me a:
Puppy
Kitten
Puppy
Puppy
Sparkly nail polish
Each time she’d printed puppy she’d drawn a dog in a different color of crayon.
“Well,” Erin said handing back the note. “She’s pretty clear about what she wants. She’s going to be one happy little girl come Christmas morning.”
“Yeah.” He let out a breath. How to explain the confusion inside him? “Thing is, she’s five. A dog is a big commitment. He’ll be around for a long time.”
“So will Sadie.”
“I know. But…” he shoved his hands in his pockets. Watched the little dog romp and play, stopping to sniff at every bush, to cock its head at every unfamiliar noise. “I’m not sure I can take the risk. We had the dog less than a day and lost him. Sadie’s lost so much. What if something happened to the dog? How could I live with myself if I gave her a dog, let her fall in love with it, and then something happened to it?”
“I don’t know,” she said slowly, watching the dog. “Do we stop ourselves from loving again because it’s too painful to lose someone or something we love?”
He turned and so did she so they were looking into each other’s eyes and he saw his own sadness reflected. “I don’t know either,” he said. “Do we?”
{ ♥ ♥ ♥ }
Normally her work soothed her, but today Erin couldn’t focus. The snoozing pup at her feet seemed oblivious to the fact that his fate hung in the air. How could he know that he might soon have yet another new home? According to Jared, the farmer who’d given him the dog was willing to take it back and find another owner.
Erin hated the thought. If only she were more settled… The pup flopped onto its back and she rubbed his belly with her foot, clad in the purple and turquoise slippers Jared’s mother had knitted. Already they had a routine. They were up early, went out for a short walk, then back to the cottage for breakfast. When she settled to work, he’d crawl under the table and curl at her feet. Often, he put his chin on her toes. In the evenings, whether or not she bothered with a fire, he curled on the rug in front of the fireplace.
She could see all the flaws in Jared’s arguments for not keeping the dog, even as she understood them.
Love was a risk.
Love made you vulnerable.
But if you hid out and tried to avoid love and commitment, what kind of life was that?
{ ♥ ♥ ♥ }
When she realized she was out of silver wire she was glad. She needed an excuse to get out of the isolated cottage and away from her own thoughts.
She leapt up, startling the dog who let out a startled woof, then, seeing her rise, scrambled to his feet, tail wagging.
Since she’d found him desperate and howling after leaving him for half an hour that first day, she’d taken him everywhere with her. Truth was, she enjoyed his easy company and his antics made her laugh.
“Come on then,” she said, taking down his leash. He bathed her hand with an ecstatic tongue and danced all the way to the Jeep. He still couldn’t jump up into the vehicle without her help but she felt him growing stronger every day. Once he was settled in the front, he sat up and looked out the side window, tongue hanging out in anticipation.
Kaslo’s main street was bravely decorated for the holidays. Dark green plastic wreaths hung from the lamp posts, their brightly painted ornaments faded from years of being rained on, she assumed.
Today, there was no rain. In fact, a weak sun brightened the day--and her mood--considerably. The pup danced along in front of her, dashing up to every passerby, as though knowing he was absolutely irresistible.
More than half the people she passed stopped to pat him, or talk to him, or simply say to her, “Cute dog.”
She tied him up briefly when she ran into the hardware store for more of the silver wire she used to make her own earring hooks, but he was so miserable without her that she kept him with her as she walked the length of the street.
She was looking in the window of the pet store, contemplating a dog bed in red and green checked fabric hanging in the window, when a child’s voice cried, “A puppy. Look, Grandma, a puppy!”
Erin turned in time to watch Sadie tumble to her knees and reach out for the dog who wanted nothing more than a playmate at his level. He wriggled, snuggled, licked and generally showed off all his cutest poses to her laughing delight.
Erin and Trish Gardiner exchanged a horrified glance. It had never occurred to Erin that she’d bump into Sadie, and even if it had–she glanced at her watch-–“Shouldn’t you be in school?”
Sadie turned a laughing face up to her. “It’s Christmas vacation. Is he your dog? How old is he?”
“I—” She had no idea what to say or do. Trish Gardiner didn’t seem any better. She stood there stunned for a second, then, seeming to come to a decision, said, “I am so glad we ran into you. I was going to phone you. I’m having a few people over for an open house Friday evening. I hope you’ll come. And please, bring your dog.”
“Oh, that’s so kind of you, but—”
“Nonsense. It will be nice for you to meet some of your neighbors, and”-– she checked that Sadie was fully occupied with the dog-–“Jared so appreciates all the help you’ve given him. Maybe if he sees her and the pup together…” She shrugged.
Erin had a feeling that Jared might not be too pleased to hear that she and the dog were coming to his mother’s Christmas party, but she suspected Trish was right. Sadie would have a chance to play with the puppy at least. Maybe seeing them together would help Jared decide on whether to keep the dog or not.
“Thank you,” she finally said. “We’d love to come.”
“What’s the doggie’s name?” Sadie asked.
“He doesn’t have a name yet.”
Sadie laughed, the full bellied laugh of childhood. “He doesn’t have a name? That’s silly.”
“I know. Maybe you could help me think of one.”
Sadie nodded. “I wish I had a puppy.”
“Anytime after five,” Trish said, before taking Sadie’s hand. “Come on, darling girl. We’ve got to hurry if we’re going to be home in time to help Daddy pick a Christmas tree.”
As Erin walked back to the car, she said to her four-legged companion, “She’s right, you know. It’s silly not having a name.”
He looked at her and opened his mouth, giving her a doggie grin.
“Mom, it’s not a date!” Jared reminded his mother.
“I don’t care. Erin’s going to be there and you should look your best. Wear the blue shirt I got you for your birthday.”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “We’re friends.”
“She comes from New York. Men know how to dress there, you know. You should show off your hot body.”
“Mother!”
“What? Just because I’m your mother doesn’t mean I’m blind. I’ve seen the way women look at you.” She tapped his chest with a manicured fingernail. “You, my son, are a major hottie. So dress like one. And make sure you arrive early to dish out the drinks.” She kissed his cheek and was gone.
It was a Christmas open house, not a gala dinner, but Jared put on the blue shirt anyway. And spent a few extra minutes shaving.
He’d been horrified when his mother told him that they’d bumped into Erin and the dog in town. He’d asked her to invite Erin to her annual open house, thinking it would be good for her to get out of that lonely cottage and mix with people. But he’d never imagined the puppy getting an invite.
How was he going to prevent his daughter from begging him to keep the little mutt if she ever found out it was meant for her?
Then Sadie came dancing into the room in the new pink dress his mom had bought her. “You look like a princess,” he told her.
She glanced up at him, a mixture of mischief and innocence that always twisted his heart. “Grandma says I’m a monkey.”
He chuckled. Truth was, she was both.
“You ready to go to Grandma’s house? I think some of your friends from school will be there.”
“And the nice lady with the red hair said she’d bring her puppy.” She laughed. “Do you know what?”
“What?”
“It doesn’t have a name.”
“What do you think it should be called?”
“I don’t know. But I’m working on it.” It was one of his expressions and the way she used it made him grin. Already she was in kindergarten. Soon she’d be in grade school, then high school. She was growing up so fast sometimes it scared him that he wasn’t going to be able to keep up in the parenting department. There was an awful lot he didn’t know about being a parent, especially to a little girl. But he was working on it.
{ ♥ ♥ ♥ }
Erin arrived just before six. Jared didn’t know he’d been looking out for her until he saw her arrive and immediately went to the door to greet her.
“Wow,” he said. “You look beautiful.” She did, too. In a green dress that clung where it should, tall boots and bold earrings that he was certain she’d designed and made herself.
Her hair was its usual glory, tumbling around her shoulders like a toss of copper coins.
She laughed. “Thanks. You look very nice too. I like your shirt.”
He could not tell her his mother had bought it for him, so he said, “Thanks.” And then knelt to give some attention to the dog who was letting him know he was happy to see Jared by wriggling and yipping and head-butting him just above the ankle. He’d barely given the dog a scratch behind the ears when Sadie came running forward and immediately fell to her knees.
“Doggie,” she cried in delight and Jared was immediately abandoned by his furry friend who wagged his tail so hard when he saw Sadie that he fell and rolled over making them all laugh.
Trish came toward them, trailing a multi-colored scarf and the Chanel perfume his dad had always bought her for birthdays. “Erin,” she said, holding out her hands. “I’m so glad you came.”
“Thank you for inviting me,” Erin said, and digging into her bag pulled out a box from the Kaslo bakery. She lifted the lid and said, “Oh, how sweet of you. Christmas cookies. And I’m guessing that big gingerbread man is for Sadie.”
“I hope that’s okay.”
“Lovely, dear, thank you.” She glanced between them. “Jared will get you a drink and introduce you around.”
He couldn’t help the warmth he felt toward this woman who would think to get a child her own special cookie.
She fit in, he thought, watching how graceful she was with people. How she listened as though every word mattered. She charmed most of his mother’s friends.
She certainly charmed him.
A warmth began stealing over him. He supposed it had been happening since he met her, but he hadn’t recognized the feeling because he’d thought he’d never feel it again.
Damn it, he was falling for the lanky redhead with the sad eyes and easy laugh. When their gazes met, he felt an intimacy he hadn’t known in a long time.
When eight o’clock rolled around, he found Sadie. She was, naturally, with her new friend, and he could tell the two of them had tired each other out. The dog and his little girl were flopped on the living room floor. He thought she was telling the dog a story.
“Okay, Sadie,” he said. “Time for bed.”
She rose reluctantly. The dog stood with her. “When can I see the puppy again?”
“I don’t know. We’ll have to ask Erin.”
“Ask me what?” He hadn’t heard her approach and here she was. “I came to say good night, Sadie. Thank you for looking after the dog so well.”
Sadie said, “You’re welcome. When can I see the puppy again?”
Erin glanced at him and he gave a helpless shrug. Then turned her attention back to the child. “Would you like to come tomorrow and help me take him for a walk?” She turned to him, “If it’s okay with your dad.”
“Can I, Dad? can I?” her tired face lit up.
“Of course we can.”
“I get to see you tomorrow,” she informed the dog, then plopped to her knees and kissed the top of his head.
He sneezed.
“Run up and brush your teeth and get your pajamas on and I’ll tuck you in.”
“Can Erin come too?”
They exchanged startled glances.
“I’m sure she’s—”
“I’d like to, if it’s all right.”
{ ♥ ♥ ♥ }
“This is my dad’s old room,” Sadie told Erin when they reached her room. “It’s where I sleep when I stay at Grandma’s house.” She was snuggled into a single bed with a blue coverlet. The room may have once been Jared’s, but there was plenty of girl stuff filling the space now: a huge doll’s house, a series of stuffed animals with big goggling eyes that she’d seen displayed in the toy store window, all lined up on the bed, a rocking chair and a dressing table. On the table was a photo of a younger Jared and a young woman with hair a shade darker than Sadie’s, big blue eyes and the smile of a woman who has everything she ever wanted. In her arms was a small child. The woman looked so much like Sadie that she had to get a closer look.
“That’s my mom and dad and me,” Sadie said.
“She’s beautiful. Just like you’re going to be when you grow up.”
Sadie yawned.
“You in bed yet?” Jared said as he came into the room.
“Of course.”
“Your pretty dress will get crumpled,” Erin said, rescuing the pink bundle from the floor and hanging it in the closet. While she did this, Jared said good night and kissed his daughter’s forehead. “Sleep tight,” he told her.
“Don’t let the bed bugs bite,” she answered back in one of those exchanges that were clearly routine.
She glanced up and found Jared watching her. There was such closeness in the moment. She putting clothes away, he tucking in the child. She felt for a second as though this were her family. Crazy thought.
“Good night, Sadie,” she said and on impulse smoothed her hand over the child’s soft hair. “Sleep well.”
“See you tomorrow.” And then Sadie turned over onto her side and pulled a much tattered and clearly loved cloth kitten into her arms.
“She’ll be asleep in seconds,” Jared whispered as he closed the door and they stepped out into the hall.
The ebb and flow of chatter and laughter wafted up. But up here it was quiet, the lighting dim. He turned to her.
“Erin, I—” and then he didn’t say anything more. He simply pulled her to him and kissed her.
It seemed the most natural thing in the world. And the most unexpected.
She felt herself melt against him. He was gentle and strong all at once. When he felt her soft sigh of pleasure, he tightened his arms around her. Deepened the kiss.
When he pulled away slowly, he looked down into her face and said, “Oh, Erin. I think you are bringing me back to life.”