{ 11 }
Pain washed over him. He couldn’t prevent it any more than he could stop his reaction being obvious to Erin. “I didn’t know.”
He watched his long tall beautiful bundle of nerves jump to her feet and pace to the window.
“Your mom sounded so happy about telling me. Like here I am, Sadie’s new mommy, your new wife, the person to fill the missing seat at the family Christmas table.”
“I’m sure she didn’t—”
“But don’t you see? It would be so easy, so convenient. Here’s me, all broken hearted from losing a child and the man I thought would be my husband, and here you are, a single dad with a child who needs a mother and a nameless puppy who seems to have moved in with me. Click. Puzzle pieces fit together, the picture’s whole again. But I’m not a puzzle piece. I’m a woman who’s frankly a little messed up. I can’t fix your heartbreak any more than you can fix mine. Life doesn’t work in that simplistic fashion.
Irritation flashed into anger as irrational as it was sudden. “I don’t recall asking you to marry me or to take over as Sadie’s mother. I like you. I think you’re interesting, confusing, frustrating. You’re kind to my dog, nice to Sadie. I thought you’d be around for a while so we’d have a chance to get to know each other. End of story.”
“And Christmas dinner?”
“It’s a turkey. Mashed potatoes. Mashed sweet potatoes doused with maple syrup that I would frankly avoid. It’s not a wedding banquet.”
“But your mother’s trying to make me part of the family, she—”
“My mother’s been choosing me new wives for a while now. It’s a hobby for her.” He shrugged. “She misses having a daughter-in-law, wants me and Sadie to be happy. That’s not a crime.”
She seemed to lose some of her rigidity. She turned to face him. “And Sadie? What about Sadie’s wish for a new mommy?”
“I don’t want to burst your balloon here, but Sadie’s latest list also includes a horse. And a swimming pool. The list’s half fantasy. She knows she won’t get everything she wants.”
“I can’t, Jared. I can’t give that child hope that isn’t there.”
“Okay. Don’t come for Christmas dinner. Sit here alone and make earrings or whatever you do all day. But an invitation to Christmas dinner shouldn’t send you running all over the country.”
She shook her head. “It’s not only that. I think I need to leave.”
“Sounds to me like you’re running away.”
When she put her hand to her face he saw that the thumb and middle fingers of her right hand were wrapped in Band-Aids. His frustration immediately turned to concern. “Did the dog bite you?”
“What?” She followed his gaze. Glimpsed the bandages. Laughed shakily. “Oh, no. I put them on to prevent blisters when I’m cutting plastic.” She rubbed her hands together. “It’s very hard on the hands.”
He wanted to kiss her so badly it hurt. Instead he said. “You’re working well here, you’re making friends, you’ve got your wish to be away for the holidays. And now you’re running right back.”
“I know. I never should have got involved. Not with you, or your family, or the dog. I’m not ready. I’m not healed. I’m a mess.”
The puppy, hearing the tension in their voices, rose and, with his tail between his legs, crept over to Erin and rubbed up against her leg. She leaned down to pet him. Jared bet she didn’t even realize she did it.
“What about him?” he asked, gesturing to the dog.
“This was only temporary. It’s not good for him to get too attached to me.”
In the beat of silence he heard the awful music she listened to.
“Sorry to have troubled you,” he said, cold anger settling in his belly. But it wasn’t the temporary dog sitter he was angry with. It was himself. For letting himself get involved again. Feel again. What a fool.
He walked toward her. Her eyes widened slightly but he didn’t touch her, merely bent down and scooped up the pup.
As he headed to the door, he said, “Let me know if you need a ride to the airport.”
“You’re taking him now?” she asked, a tinge of panic in her tone.
“No point dragging things out. Sorry for the inconvenience.”
“No. He wasn’t. Wait.” She ran forward. “At least let me say good-bye.”
She came up to him and he caught her scent and the lost expression on her face nearly did him in. Who knew what the future held? He sure as hell didn’t. But to run away like this before giving things between them a chance? Who did that?
She put a hand on the pup’s head, smiled sadly as the little guy licked her hand. Then, when she put her face to his, he licked her nose. “You are the best dog ever. I hope you have a happy life and make Sadie and Jared happy too.”
She rubbed her knuckles over the soft fur, and as she did so her hand touched his. He felt a burst of electricity, connection, something.
And then she pulled away and turned back to the cottage.