IT WAS WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY sixth, and my seven charges sat in their usual positions around the tables: Shawn and Ethan to my left, Angelina, Tessa, and Codi to my right, and Luke and Jason straight ahead at the base of the U. Only Tessa, however, looked my way. Jason was digging through his backpack with the enthusiasm of an archaeologist on the verge of a great find. Codi’s find appeared to be locked in her compact, Shawn’s on the other side of the window, Angelina’s and Luke’s in the books they were reading, and Ethan’s in the design he was drawing on the back of his hand with a black marker. Votives flickered on the tables. The background music was Rascal Flatts this time, singing about a candle in a hurricane.
I handed out Granny Max’s oatmeal raisin cookies, thinking back to her words. “Sounds like you’re being put to the test, my dear, so you need to prepare.” How could I help these kids give voice to their inexplicable experiences and, as Granny Max put it, express and utilize their energies in altruistic love and service? Maybe in the process of stepping out of my ivory tower, I needed to take some risks. With or without Dr. Matt’s consent. No doubt, the answer to my questions would come. But if the past was anything to go by, they would sidestep any attempt at control and ignore any demands that the students and lessons proceed my way.
So, where should I go from here? My charges were running out of patience. And out of time.
I leaned against my desk and waited.
Jason dropped his backpack to the floor, hands empty. Codi exchanged her compact for a cookie. Angelina ear-tagged her book and set it aside. Luke, Shawn, and Ethan carried on with what they’d been doing, and Tessa, sweet Tessa, continued looking at me with a faint smile.
“We need shifters,” I said.
Jason scrunched his face. Otherwise no response.
More waiting, which caught Codi’s attention. She wasn’t used to me being quiet. “What’d you say?”
“We need shifters.”
“Uh?”
“Aides. Helpers.”
Ethan scowled, eyeing the tattoo-like drawing he’d sketched on his left hand. “You mean totems?”
I strolled to the back of his table and paused behind him. He’d drawn an owl. “Sort of.”
I moved on, peering over each student’s shoulders until Luke put his book down and I had Shawn’s attention. “What, for instance, can we use besides cookies to turn things around when we’re in the dumps?”
Codi passed her cookie over a candle until it smoked, then blew on it and put it down. She wore blue lipstick today, and her brows were black and heavily arched. This, along with her ghostly pallor, made for a look of dark drama—Vampire Goth. It was hard to look away.
“Music works for me,” Jason said, while Rascal Flatts crooned in the background about tasting what you’re made of.
“Music is definitely mood altering,” I said, “though some types can make you melancholy.”
Jason feigned a gag. “Like Country.”
“I’ve been meaning to ask you to bring in your own music,” I said, “on condition that you point out its mood and theme.”
Codi picked up her charred cookie and sniffed it. “You can bet it won’t be Country.”
“Mom always tells me to go watch the grass grow when I’m bored or cranky,” Luke said. “She says sometimes it’s good to do nothing.”
“I like to read,” Angelina said. Her skin appeared rosy today, her eyes clear and bright. Maybe Jason had been wrong about her critical condition.
Codi reached for a second cookie, having gouged the first like a sacrifice. “I talk to my friends. They don’t mind my whining.”
Jason coughed into his hand to hide a grin. “What’s the point, Ms. V?” He wore a tweed jacket, black T-shirt, khakis, and brown loafers, dressy for a day at school. Heck, he dressed better than many of the teachers.
I returned to my usual position at the foot of my desk. “I’m talking about replacements for the bad stuff.”
“She means instead of drugs and alcohol,” Shawn said, his eyes flat as they peered from beneath rounded upper lids.
“Yes, alternatives less harmful than nicotine, alcohol, and—”
“Like peanut butter and love,” Jason said.
“Ha.” Wise guy.
“I heard that squeezable honey works,” Luke said. “It processes similar to—”
“Get real, Luke.” Codi’s hand fisted as if of its own accord and chunks of the cookie dropped onto the table.
“Talk about getting real…” I eyed the smushed cookie Codi was wiping from her hand and wondered if it had prompted unanticipated therapeutic benefits. “I wasn’t planning on sharing this yet, but…what the heck. I invited my sister to talk to you about alcohol, tobacco, and drug prevention tips.”
“Your sis-ter?” Jason’s voice rose on “sis” and dropping on “ter” with such a tone of disbelief, you’d think I’d just announced the sky was falling. “No offense, but if she’s anything like you, um—”
“She’s waiting to hear if she’s been accepted into the DEA basic agent training program in Quantico, Virginia.”
Jason’s brows shot up; his eyes widened.
“A lecture from a narc,” Codi said. “What the hell for?”
Good question. The answer to which I couldn’t share. At least not yet. Straight out honesty would, in this case, do more harm than good. They wouldn’t take kindly to hearing that Dr. Matt suspected one or more of them of experimenting with drugs. “It’s never too early to talk about prevention. Like wearing a seat belt to avoid injury and death.”
“That’s a stretch.” Codi’s attention lingered on the remains of the ravaged cookie in her hand, which, to my relief, meant she wasn’t probing my mind.
“It’ll also give you a chance to meet my sister. Her name is Veronica, and she provides barf bags with her presentation.”
Tessa’s face contorted as though she’d just bitten into a slug instead of an oatmeal cookie. “Barf bags! Ugh.”
Jason scratched his jaw, which appeared rough, like fine-grade sandpaper.
“I understand her presentation can be quite upsetting,” I said.
Codi looked suddenly cheerful. “I can take it.”
“Do you and Veronica look alike, too?” Tessa asked, her expression wistful.
“Exactly, except her hair is black.”
“That makes you, Maya, and Veronica triplets.” She clapped her hands and bounced in her seat like a game show contestant. “When’s she coming?”
At the mention of Maya, my throat closed up, making it hard to swallow, let alone speak. “Not until mid-March. I still have to okay it with Dr. Matt.”
Tessa slumped in her chair. “That’s a long time.”
“By then it’ll…” Codi coughed, then clammed up.
“What’s your shifter when you feel bad?” Ethan asked.
I looked at Jason. He looked away. “Well, yesterday my shifter was an oatmeal cookie.”
“What’s your shifter on other days?” Ethan asked.
I pulled the stone mouse from the leather pouch I wore around my waist as often as fashion allowed. “On most days, this does the trick.” I set the totem on the table in front of him. “It has seen many places and has had many owners besides me.”
Luke shoved his glasses up the bridge of his nose and leaning forward with laser focus. “Where’d you get it?”
“Initially, my soon-to-be-adoptive son gave it to me. His name is Joshua.”
“Tell us about him,” Tessa said.
With these kids, you never knew where a subject might lead, from shifters to drugs, barf bags to Joshua. I hesitated, knowing I should share but unwilling to do so. “Maybe someday.”
“Why not today?” Tessa was persistent now that she was no longer impersonating a gray ghost.
“Because this isn’t about me.”
“Sure, it is,” Jason said. “You’re our teacher.”
“And that makes your story our story,” Tessa said.
“Maybe someday,” I repeated.
I took five stones out of my pouch and set them on the table in front of Luke. “I use these to mark the five directions of my Medicine Wheel, which, by the way, is another one of my shifters.” I positioned four of the stones in a circle, yellow for the East, red for the South, black for the West, and white for the North. Then I placed the green stone in the center. “When I feel the need to conquer some critical self-attacks or seek answers to seemingly unanswerable questions, I construct a big circle, sit inside, and meditate.”
“A magic circle?” Luke asked.
“Only if by ‘magic circle’ you mean a place to bring out desired changes. The Medicine Wheel is more like a circle of knowledge. When my sister’s fiancé, Ben Gentle Bear Mendoza, comes with her in March, he’ll explain.”
The room grew quiet, and I wondered at the cause, until Dr. Matt cleared his throat. “I hope you planned to run that by me first.”
He’d come in unannounced, which was fine. He had every right as principal to observe my interaction with the class unrehearsed. But for him to interrupt a lesson to enquire about guest-speaker logistics was another matter.
At my tight-lipped silence, Dr. Matt added, “I came by to check on your progress.”
“So far, so good,” I said.
Dr. Matt frowned.
“Our purpose today, Uncle Matt, is to find our shifters,” Shawn said.
At the lift of Dr. Matt’s brows, Shawn hurried on. “We’re going to find out what we can use to pull our energy from a frequency of negativity to one of happiness. We’re going to find out what we want and believe we deserve it. Then use that information to dig ourselves out of some deep, black holes. In other words” —Shawn took a shaky breath— “apply the knowledge to circumstances outside ourselves and beyond this room.”
I was reduced to putty by Shawn’s comment. As, it seemed, was Dr. Matt. His eyes welled up and his chest expanded. Smart as Shawn was, the words hadn’t come from him. Not by a long shot. Someone else had planted them, and the thought that Shawn had allowed it, warmed my heart. “I have this field trip planned…” Might as well leap into the breach and seize the opportunity while Dr. Matt was in a receptive mood. “To the James Lick Observatory on Mt. Hamilton.”
Dr. Matt nodded. I could have announced a trip to Mars and he probably would have reacted the same; with a nod and a blank stare.
I pressed on. “And another to the Winchester Mystery House. I think a little inspiration is called for.”
“Mom won’t take me to the Winchester Mystery House,” Angelina said. “She says it’s haunted by Mrs. Winchester’s ghost.”
Angelina’s words brought Dr. Matt out of his daze. “Well, we’ll see about that.”
On gathering up my stones, I noticed that my mouse was missing. My heart did a clumsy flip. “Has anyone seen my totem?”
Heads shook. Tessa scrambled to the floor. “Maybe it fell off the table somewhere.”
Nope. Someone had taken it, and I had a pretty good idea who it was.
But I said nothing.
For now.
***
I knocked on the door frame of Dr. Matt’s office the next afternoon before class. “Hi. Do you have a minute?”
“What’s on your mind?”
“The field trip to the James Lick Observatory.”
The blank look on Dr. Matt’s face was not encouraging. He gestured for me to sit across from him at his desk.
“Since this is all new to me, I don’t know the proper procedure to follow. There must be permission slips to fill out—”
His raised hand stopped me dead. “Sorry, no field trips.”
“But—”
“This after-school option is still in its infancy, and I’d prefer not to put it in jeopardy.”
Jeopardy? “But you said I had your complete backing and there’d be volunteers for—”
“It’s early yet, and a few issues have come up since then that I need to check into.”
I sank into the same chair I’d occupied during my first visit to his office. What had caused the optimistic philosopher who’d hired me to turn into Mr. Caution? “What issues?”
“Issues I can’t discuss with you at this time.”
Okay, I could understand his restraint due to possible litigation in case of a field trip emergency. He would have to plan for an assortment of eventualities, which was nothing to scoff at. But to outright say no… “If they limit my ability to lead the class, I should at least know what they are.”
He picked up a pen and started doodling on a legal pad. It was a Mont Blanc, a Boheme Bleu. I knew because I owned one just like it, a gift from my parents on my graduation from San Jose State. But I’d never considered bringing it to school.
“You’ll know in time.” He eyed me with what appeared to be regret, then rose from his chair and turned to face the parking lot, still free of the parade of cars that would soon pass through to pick up students after school. His back was ramrod straight, rather impressive with the Armani suit that looked sculpted rather than tailored to fit his body. Taking his silence as a dismissal, I stood and headed for the door.
I sensed rather than saw him turn from the window.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
I shrugged and walked out of his office.
Funny thing, it sounded like he meant it.
***
“What do you mean, he won’t let us go on the field trip?” Jason’s disappointment came as a surprise. I hadn’t realized the school outing meant that much to him.
“Dr. Matt said no.”
“But my dad was going to volunteer to help supervise.”
His dad? Wait. I thought they weren’t getting along.
“I know what you’re thinking, Ms. V. That me and my dad have issues. But he’s a cosmologist…” He frowned at Codi, who had gone wide-eyed at the news. “Cosmologist, not cosmetologist.”
“Oh, I get it,” Codi said. “You had me going there for a second.”
Jason shook his head and continued, “Anyway, Dad gets to apply for observation time on the Lick Observatory 3-m Shane telescope. It’s nearly impossible for kids like us to get anywhere near an instrument like that. But, if he’s able to pull some strings… I mean, think about how awesome that would be.”
Frustration filled my chest like toxic fumes. The field trip would have been an opportunity for father and son to bond, let alone serve as a learning experience for the rest of class. “I don’t know what to say, Jason. My powers are limited here.”
Instead of sulking, he gave me a sly smile. “Don’t worry, Ms. V, I have a plan.” He looked more wolf-like than ever.
Codi came alive at the news. Until then, she’d seemed to be having a bad day. Her hair was stringy and lifeless instead of jelled into its usual high peaks. “Guess we’re going then, cause when Jason puts his mind to something, watch out.”
Angelina leapt up on tiptoes and spiraled like a ballerina who’d been practicing for just such an occasion. “Go, Jason.”
He grinned. “I’ll update you on Monday if my plan pays off.”
Whatever he had in mind, I was all for it. Dr. Matt had been wrong in denying us this small excursion. Plus, I appreciated the way Jason was taking a stand on the class’s behalf. “In that case, why not conduct a little research on the Lick Observatory?”
I didn’t have to mention it twice. Luke and Codi headed for the encyclopedias that were rapidly becoming time capsules filled with information meticulously researched, edited, and losing value with the mainstream. The rest of the students dug into their pockets and backpacks for their BlackBerries and notebook computers.
No further instructions required.