THE KIDS RETURNED TO school on April first, heads hanging.
So much for positive thinking.
“Um, Ms. Veil…” Luke tilted his head to peer at me like a red-haired, bespectacled Einstein—minus the moustache. “We’ve changed our minds about Spring Fair.”
I sat on the edge of my desk, the coward in me relieved, the teacher disappointed.
Tessa put both hands over her mouth and giggled, earning her a jab from Codi. Jason cleared his throat and stretched out his arms like an orchestra conductor, minus the baton. “A one, and a two, and a three…”
“April fools.”
I pressed my hand to my chest to keep my heart from leaping out.
“For a minute there, you looked relieved,” Shawn said, his brown eyes bright as glass beads. “You’re trying to trust us, but we’re only thirteen, compared to… How old are you Ms. V?”
“Twenty-nine and proud of it.”
Codi grimaced. “Practically an old maid.”
“She’s getting married soon,” Tessa announced. “A double wedding. Ms. Mask told me so. Is your fiancé as cute as Ben, Ms. Veil?”
I rolled my eyes. As cute as Ben? Hell yes. “They’re practically twins.”
“Will we be invited?” Ethan squinted at me as if memorizing my face for a future lineup. “Your sister said it would be okay with her, if it was okay with you.”
My skin prickled. Was Ethan hearing Maya too? “Which sister?”
“Ms. Mask.”
“Oh,” I said, relieved. My students must have made quite an impression on my tight-lipped sister for her to share such personal news.
“Well?” Codi asked, a wary glint in her eyes, a pulling back, a suspicion that I’d forget them in June.
“We may be getting married at St. Mary’s by-the-Sea Episcopal Church in Pacific Grove. Where Maya used to sing in the choir.” And where we held her funeral.
“You could get married on the moon, and I’d be there,” Tessa said.
These kids touched me in a way I would never have thought possible. Had Veronica felt the same? “I promise to send you all an invitation.”
Luke cleared his throat. “Umm, back to Spring Faire. Our parents are coming tomorrow to help us set up.”
***
Next afternoon, a BMW, an SUV, and two pickup trucks—one vintage red, the other a black king-cab towing a U-Haul trailer—pulled into the parking lot east of our classroom. A few teachers with rooms nearby used this area to park. Otherwise, it remained secluded from prying eyes. Ron Ardis dodged the bar sidestep of the king-cab on his way out the door. Luke’s mom, however, planted both feet on the SUV’s running board as though about to descend a steep mountain. I didn’t recognize the two women getting out of the Beamer or the one driving the vintage truck.
“They’re here!” Tessa dashed out the rear classroom door with five classmates in tow. I watched through the window to match parent with child. Codi ran to the vintage truck and pulled down the tailgate, ignoring the woman sliding from the driver’s seat—a woman in sweats and running shoes, her brown hair twisted into a sloppy ponytail like someone waylaid after a workout at the gym. She walked to the back of the truck in slow, measured steps as if traversing a slippery slope instead of level blacktop.
Tessa and Ethan approached the two women leaning against the BMW. The petite blonde held up a set of keys. Tessa grabbed them and sprinted to the back of the car. The tall brunette frowned as Ethan followed Tessa without a backwards glance.
Ron waved me over when I approached the parking lot. I made a wide circle around the busy kids on my way to his side. Luke’s mother rushed up and gave me a hug. “They’re so excited.”
“They’ve found a mission, that’s for sure,” I said into a mass of red hair.
Ron directed me toward the two women staring at me as if I were a celebrity. The brunette was taller than I’d estimated, had at least three inches on me. I found it hard not to cower under her intense brown-eyed stare. “This is Judge Stein, Ethan’s mom,” Ron said. “Your honor, meet Marjorie.”
“Hello,” I said.
Judge Stein reached for my hand and squeezed, conveying a positive message: I’m on your side. “Although my husband and I don’t always agree with your methods, Ethan’s attitude has improved beyond our expectations since enrolling in your class.”
I smiled, cringing inside. Was she the one fueling Ethan’s protests against discussing anything even hinting of God in the classroom?
The blonde I’d considered petite compared to Judge Stein, appeared about average in height when standing next to me. She wore jeans, a white T-shirt, and a turquoise windbreaker, neat and crisp, but nothing to write home about. In fact, none of the women were dressed to impress. “My name’s Lisa,” she said. “Tessa adores your class.”
Barely had I responded with a “Nice to meet you,” when Ron nudged me toward the woman in sweats and running shoes. “I’d like you to meet Blanche, Codi’s mom.”
Blanche? I didn’t think women bore names like that anymore. Okay, so the name meant fair and white, but Blanche Baad? I opened my mouth to form a polite greeting but was spared from coming up with more than a simple “Hello” when Jenny drew our attention back to the kids. “They’re really pumped up about Spring Faire.”
“They’re doing some serious hauling,” Ron said. “Looks like the makings of a rummage sale.”
I nodded on both counts. Tessa and Codi foraged materials from the BMW and red pickup like worker bees, while Ethan, Jason, and Shawn stood waiting for instructions, calling to mind drones kicked out of the hive. How had they accumulated all this stuff in two weeks? And how had they convinced their parents to lug it all over?
Ron read my face and laughed. “Worried?”
I wrapped my arms around myself to control a shiver. What if these kids—still fragile, still emerging—were mocked or, even worse, ignored?
“Oh, come on, teach. What’ve they got to lose?”
I raised my eyebrows, as I often did with his son—Wolf child, King of Hearts.
“They’re already accustomed to being ridiculed by their classmates,” he reasoned. “So even if this project falls a bit flat, it won’t be the end of their world.” He paused, allowing his words to sink in, then added, “Anyway, seeing them this excited counts for something.”
Ron’s persuasive argument brought to mind one given by Granny Max during our cookie-baking therapy session. “You’re helping me express and utilize my energies in altruistic love and service.”
Shouldn’t I help my students do the same?
Judge Stein murmured something that sounded like agreement; Jenny and Lisa voiced their unwavering enthusiasm for the Spring Fair projects; Blanche only blinked, apparently oblivious to the electricity in the air. Maybe her name fit after all.
“This is the kind of excitement I experience on making a new discovery in the cosmos,” Ron said, his gaze wistful.
I found it hard to reconcile this man to the one Jason had described during our telepathic conversation in the nature area. Was this a case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, or just plain misunderstanding?
“It would be nice to experience that kind of excitement again,” Lisa added, no doubt reliving some of her own fond memories of middle school.
“I have refreshments in the kitchen next to our classroom, if anyone’s interested.” Though I directed my offer to Blanche, she didn’t meet my eyes or otherwise acknowledge my presence. Instead, she headed toward the building as if intuiting where comfort lay.
I glanced at the others for confirmation that something was off, but their expressions gave nothing away. “I assume you’ll all be coming back tomorrow to witness the big event.”
Judge Stein grimaced and put her hand to her hair. “Sorry. I have another commitment. Ethan assured me it’s okay.”
Don’t even think about faulting her, I told myself, though I felt like giving her a good shake. Of course, Ethan wants you to come. What can be more important than your child?
“We’ll be there,” Lisa and Jenny said in unison, then broke into giggles.
I glanced at Ron. He winked. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“What about Blanche?” I tried to keep my voice neutral, but Ethan and Codi were about to be left out in the cold.
“I doubt it,” Lisa said.
I shrugged before heading to the kitchen.
Halfway there, I heard the slap of sneakers on blacktop and turned to find Codi jogging to catch up with me. She wore a black T-shirt under her trench coat today, featuring a skull with a princess crown. I pictured my sister Veronica at her age, just as strong, just as brave, just as troubled, carrying a weight no child should be forced to bear. “I thought you should know,” she said, sounding a bit breathless. “My mother’s an alcoholic.” She zeroed in on the open weave of my brown sweater, the kind of sweater one’s grandmother would knit, the kind that makes you feel as though you’re bundled in a chunky blanket. “I can get into people’s heads and mess with their minds, but I can’t help my own mother. Why’s that?”
I thought of how Maya had chosen love over life, and there hadn’t been a damn thing I could do about it. Followed by a reminder from Tessa next to James Lick’s grave. “Maya’s life wasn’t yours to live.”
“She walks her own path, Codi. All you can do is love and forgive her.”
“Even when she hurts me?”
“Especially when she hurts you.”
“Like Mr. Lacoste hurts you?”
And Cliff and my adoptive mother and the man who stole Maya from me. “When we hold back forgiveness, we block the flow of good in our lives.”
She bit her lip.
“Uh, Codi. My dad quit drinking after Maya died.”
“Does someone have to die first?”
I flinched. “Sometimes it takes something less drastic.”
“Like what?”
Codi wasn’t wiping her tears, so why should I wipe mine? I wish I knew. “Every case is different, so…”
Shawn walked by and waved, a reminder that no one was here for him either. “Codi, are Shawn’s folks out of town?”
“I don’t know…” Her forehead twitched. “Why don’t you ask him?”
She had me there, but I preferred prying the information out of her rather than going directly to the source.
A knowing smile lit Codi’s tear-streaked face. “Considering he reads your mind all the time.”
The thought of him reading my mind still bothered me, but I returned Codi’s smile. If she could find humor in the situation, so could I.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “He won’t share.” A wink. “But if he did, I bet he’d have some great stories to tell.”