I did not come into this world with an “I can do anything” mindset. Far from it. At 48 years old, I found myself unfulfilled emotionally, spiritually, and financially—in spite of being in the third year of a marriage to the love of my life. I had been working my tail off to be successful, but felt as though I was driving with one foot jammed on the accelerator and the other squarely on the brakes. I was exerting a massive amount of energy each day, but going nowhere fast. Every day I felt like Sisyphus climbing a mountain—only to be rolled back down to the bottom and admonished for daring to climb the mountain. Living this way was exhausting.
In hindsight, my mindset was rooted in scarcity and poverty. No matter what I accomplished, it wasn’t good enough. My favorite reply to people giving me compliments and acknowledging me for what I was accomplishing was, “Yes, but. . . .” I summarily dismissed people because I didn’t believe what I was accomplishing was up to the high standards I had set. My thinking was my biggest enemy. How did I get here?
On a day like any other for a 6 year old, I was playing in my bedroom when I heard my mother screaming. I ran downstairs and saw her blocking the doorway to our house and three men standing on our front steps. I ran and stood in the cradle of my mother’s arm and looked at the men with fear and confusion. They were not police officers delivering bad news about my father, nor were they thugs there to rob us. They were just men doing their job, which on that day was to repossess our furniture. And doing their job left my mother screaming and frantically telephoning my father to “Take care of this!”
During a recession in the 1960s in Scotland, repossessing furniture happened to other families, not to my mother. Christobel Rice Blane had married into one of the wealthiest families in Glasgow, Scotland. Life was exactly as she hoped until my grandfather died. My grandfather, David Blane, was an extraordinarily gifted businessman who started his business life pushing a large wooden cart up and down the streets of Glasgow, offering bread, fruit, fish, and any other product he could sell for a profit. He worked long, hard days and had an “I will do this” mindset.
In the time span of 40 years, my grandfather amassed a fortune. He had a Jaguar, MG, and Rolls Royce dealership, a scrap metal business, and a bookie joint. He raised his 10 children with silver spoons in their mouths and with the support of two nannies. The family home was built and named for a vacation property my grandfather found in Padua, Italy, and had not one, but two, billiard rooms. At one point, my father’s clothes were custom tailored and he drove one of the nicest cars in town. My father was the proverbial “big guy on campus.”
My mother came from the opposite side of the tracks. Her father was a laborer, who at one time worked in a coal mine. Their family had no money. When my mother was in high school, she had one dress she would wear to school every day. She would come home and iron it to wear again the following day. Cristobel knew she was poor and the thought that kept her motivated was the hope of “getting out of this godforsaken place” and making a better life for herself.
On one hand, the mindset with which my father was raised was one of affluence and privilege. My mother’s mindset, on the other hand, was one of poverty and scarcity. What happened on the day the repo men arrived galvanized my mother’s mindset and obliterated that of my father. For my mother, the highest hopes she had for her life came crashing down around her. For my father, any sense of self-worth or self-esteem shriveled like a raisin in the sun.
What does this have to do with me and my mindset? On that fateful day, my mindset as a 6 year old shifted from safety and security to fear and uncertainty. I came to believe that whatever possessions I had could and would be taken away from me. This mindset permeated my thinking; my perceptions of people, places, and leadership placed me squarely on track for the life I found myself living at 48 years old.
My intent in recounting this story is to provide you with context about how mindsets and the leadership you and I exhibit are the byproduct of nature as well as nurture. The only real choice we have is to acknowledge our current mindset, accept our role in creating or tolerating it, articulate the desired mindset we want to have, and then take action each day to create it.
I’ve found that 80 percent of a leader’s success is mental. There are leaders who believe that work is a long, slow slog through enemy territory on their belly with bullets flying over their heads. This mindset will produce lower performance 100 percent of the time. You cannot perform at the highest levels if your mindset is equally not at the highest level.
Although neuroscience and psychology have positively shaped my mindset, they are not the cornerstones of this book. I am not a psychologist, but rather a leadership expert who has successfully changed my own mindset, as well as the mindsets of my clients, for the better.
I wrote this book for two key reasons: First, in the world of work, the amount of untapped human potential inside organizations is staggering. After working in 43 states and seven countries on three continents, I’ve witnessed firsthand 65 percent of employees with a chronic case of JDTM: just doing the minimum. Their mindsets are characterized as exerting the minimum amount of effort possible while maintaining a positive annual review. But before you conclude that employees with JDTM are greedy, lazy, and selfish, consider the fact that leaders in corporations across all industries suffer from JDTM also and are the carriers of the JDTM virus. Far too often, the mission, vision, and values guiding organizations, teams, and individual employees are written by senior leaders while on executive retreats in mountain lodges. They are, in turn, devoid of any tangible connection with the people who meet and engage the customer on a daily basis. Employees suffer from JDTM because their leaders are unwilling to undertake the individual transformations required in order to transform their teams or organizations.
Second, on a personal level, I hope to enable more human flourishing. I believe in the biblical passage that reads, “And to whomsoever much is given, of him shall much be required.” I have an obligation and responsibility to take what I’ve learned and pass it along to others who can benefit. We will cover this in extended detail in the following chapters.
Before moving on, I have an assessment you’ll want to complete. These are not ethereal, navel-gazing questions that require you to sit on a cushion in a cross-legged position for 60 minutes. They are statements that, when considered thoughtfully and purposefully, will help you see the connection between your mindset and your results.
On a scale from 1 to 10 (1 is strongly disagree and 10 is strongly agree), rate yourself on the following statements:
1. I have a clearly articulated purpose for my leadership and personal life.
2. I have clearly defined the priorities that are in service of my purpose, as well as the people who matter most to me.
3. I have made non-negotiable promises to all of the people who matter most to me both personally and professionally.
4. I know with certainty and have articulated the behaviors I will exhibit in order to achieve my purpose, promises, and priorities.
5. I actively stretch my leadership every year with new projects that provide increased value to the people who matter most to me.
6. I have a remarkable ability to persevere in the face of adversity and setbacks.
7. I actively teach and mentor others in order to cement my learning, as well as to help others grow and learn.
8. When it comes to my thinking, I “play to win” as opposed to “play not to lose.”
9. I have cultivated a positive mindset, as well as positive self-talk.
10. I have a contagious and persuasive belief about helping others grow their leadership and enhance their mindset.
11. I praise myself for things I do well and eliminate or reduce the things I don’t do well daily, weekly, and monthly.
12. I take time to reflect and think creatively and strategically about my professional and personal life.
After completing the Transformational Leadership Assessment, consider the following questions:
• What statements received the highest and lowest scores?
• What are the implications for these areas being rated so high and low?
• If you could significantly improve one answer, which one would have the biggest positive impact on your leadership and your result?
Here’s what I’ve learned working with organizations such as Sony Pictures, Boeing, Nordstrom, Starbucks, and Microsoft: Transformational leaders are dissatisfied with being good, and instead believe in and strive for a state best described as “flourishing.” In this chapter, I start by presenting a new mindset about rethinking the world of work and position you for transformational growth.
If you want a flourishing business—a business that has top-line growth, greater profitability, high levels of customer satisfaction, and top talent retention—you must have flourishing relationships with your employees. In today’s world of work, the customer experience must be so compelling that customers would not consider going elsewhere. That can only be created by committed and happy employees.
When leaders commit to creating experiences that are compelling, noteworthy, and loyalty-centric, the only way to execute and deliver this strategy is through happy and satisfied employees. In no uncertain terms, if you want to create a compelling, flourishing experience for your customers but your employees are not flourishing, there is just no way for your business to flourish. The following is an equation that will transform your leadership and your results:
FB = (FE + FC + ME)
A flourishing business (FB) comes from flourishing employees (FE), flourishing customers (FC), and memorable experiences (ME).
Flourishing employees are created by flourishing leaders who commit to cultivating flourishing customers and producing memorable experiences. And yet, there are employees who should never be placed in customer-facing roles but find themselves there on a regular basis. Some of these people are so uncomfortable, incompetent, or indifferent to the customer that they should never be put in roles that require customer interactions.
Are there examples inside your organization in which unhappy employees are creating negative experiences for customers? Are there times when employees see a customer as an interruption and something to be tolerated, as opposed to a precious asset that needs to be cultivated and treated with respect? Is it ever acceptable in your employees’ eyes to be rude and uncaring? If you answer yes, the problem doesn’t rest with the frontline employee. The bigger question is: Do leaders walk through your doors each morning with a keen desire to make a meaningful difference in your customers’ and employees’ lives?
If you as a leader have lost this desire and are unable to feel enthused about making a difference in your most important constituents’ life, it is time to make an exit from the ranks of leadership. It is really quite simple. If you are not flourishing at work, it is time for a change—first in mindset and then in role, if need be. Your level of personal flourishing permeates and shapes your leadership and shows up in the customer experience.
The number-one lament of readers of my blog is that they feel overwhelmed and don’t have the time necessary to effectively lead. This feeling can happen for a variety of reasons, some of which are valid, whereas others are rooted in the leader’s mindset. Throughout the last 25 years, I’ve found six factors that contribute to the feeling of overwhelm—all of which create a mindset that lowers performance and stifles the well-being of customers and employees.
1. Underperformance is tolerated. Every organization has employees that underperform and others that over perform. The former are interested in having a paycheck and have little enthusiasm for increasing their performance. Rather than find a job at which the expectations are lower, they’re allowed to stay in their roles even in the face of underperformance. When underperformance is tolerated, a clear message is sent to all employees that this is acceptable and there are no repercussions. This mindset stalls growth and is a catalyst for even greater underperformance.
2. Miscommunication. When leaders feel overwhelmed and are continually running from one meeting to another without any margin or white space, miscommunication is assured. By that I mean you will miss the subtle nuances of interpersonal communication, and in the process of rushing from meeting to meeting, miscommunicate expectations due to the anxiety of needing to be in two places at once. This leads to false starts and the all-too-familiar rework required as a result of miscommunication.
3. Being tired, worn down, and burned out. In America, leaders pride themselves on pushing themselves to the limit. It is a badge of honor to say to family and friends that you work 70 hours a week. And yet, in study after study, the research shows that as the number of hours you work each week goes up, the quality of your work goes down. Greater effectiveness comes from leaders and employees who are energized, uplifted, and enthused about making a positive difference in the life of a customer. This is nearly impossible to do when a leader or employee is hanging on for dear life and trying to keep their nose above water.
4. Not having the skills to manage stress effectively. There are two types of stress we face at one time or another: eustress and distress. Eustress occurs when the gap between what we want and what we have is slightly pushed, but not in ways that lead us to feel overwhelmed. We see this stress as manageable and our goal achievable.
Distress is the opposite. The gap is unmanageable and the goal is seen as unreachable. This leads us to feel overwhelmed, out of control, and ineffective. Leaders need the ability to capitalize on eustress, as well as the ability to reduce or eliminate the causes and or effects of distress. And yet the number-one strategy for dealing with stress in organizations today is to put your nose to the grindstone and gut it out. There are times when this strategy is needed and the preferred way forward. However, too often working harder is preferred by busy and overwhelmed leaders over working smarter.
5. Poor time management and priority-setting habits. The exigency of a leader’s day-to-day work is one in which continual priority-setting is a necessity but not a reality. Being able to strategically and respectfully say no to bosses as well as customers is a key skill transformational leaders have mastered. When leaders look at their calendars and ask what percent of their time is spent in low-value producing activities relative to their most strategic priorities, what figure would you expect to hear? Eighty percent? Seventy? Fifty? All too often the figure from my coaching and consulting clients is 30 percent. With greater priority-setting skills, as well as good time management, a leader can increase the strategic use of their calendar by 25 to 50 percent, which has a transformational impact on their performance.
6. Unaware of the importance of mindset on performance. In business schools across the country, the number of classes taught on mindset and mental training is tiny. Yes, psychology is taught in broad and often theoretical terms, much like the tried-and-true courses on financial management and marketing, and new courses on social media.
What happens in between the ears of leaders and employees is in many ways what determines financial performance, market share, and talent acquisition and retention. When a factor as important as mindset is missing from a leader’s arsenal of tools, the results are less than appealing.
When you look at this list, undoubtedly you will be able to add other factors that lead you to feel overwhelmed. Just about all of these can be influenced by a leader. Happy employees are essential for happy customers. One of a leader’s primary jobs is to manage the mindset of his or her employees so the mindset of the customer is favorable and inclined to do more business with the organization.
How employees talk to themselves is critical. Some may feel that no matter how good an idea they create, management will never support them. If their belief and self-talk is rooted in defeatist language and beliefs, it is impossible to behave differently until what they tell themselves changes.
For example, Robert was a new coaching client in the healthcare field. He told me, as many of my clients do, of the 70-plus hours he was working and the demands on his time. He lamented feeling overwhelmed and frustrated because his day was spent in reactive firefighting mode. Things had gotten so bad that his employees had even asked him to become less reactive and to help them do the same. When I asked who was in charge of his schedule and how he spent his day, his answer was a resolute “hospitals and patients.”
Robert was right in one regard: His work was determined in many ways by the ravages of a career in healthcare, where a person’s life and well-being is influenced by his or her caregivers. These professions are surrounded by “a decision must be made now circumstances.”
But Robert also missed a crucial distinction. Although the external factors influencing his day were real, his response to them was equally so. Robert was not in charge of what happened to him every day, but he was certainly in charge of how he responded to what happened to him. How Robert responded rested squarely in the six inches separating his two ears. It wasn’t his boss, his hospital, or his patients. Robert’s mindset was in charge of the people, processes, and perspectives he brought to bear every day. Changing your mindset so as to unleash your human potential is what this book is about.
The good news is there are seven principles that will help you master your leadership mindset and convert your human potential, as well as the potential in your team and organization, into accelerated performance. Each of the following chapters corresponds with a different principle.