Chapter 4
The first day of school was more like a fashion show than an academic day. Women and men wore their best outfits as if they were headed to the club instead of campus, especially freshmen. Older students laughed as new students wore their stilettos on campus, not realizing just how much walking they would be doing. The smart ones knew how to look fly and to be comfortable at the same time.
Music blared from the speakers set up in the university center for the first step show of the year. Sorority girls strutted while fraternity men yelled their various calls. It was a freshman’s paradise, the one place they could see everyone, Greeks, jocks, artists, and more.
Cooley looked herself over one time, making sure her pink and white striped polo shirt hung just right. She brushed the back of her neck while she patted down one side of her curly, mini Afro.
Nic shook her head; she wasn’t as big on fashion as Cooley. She was comfortable in her jeans and T-shirt.
They could hardly tell it was nearly autumn. The sun was beaming down, causing most to pull out their shades and short-sleeved gear. Frat brothers walked around with their towels to match their Greek colors. Women still sported their skimpy summer clothes and flip-flops.
Denise patted the top of her head. “These braids are about to kill me.” A brief autumn breeze rushed through the quad, giving Denise’s scalp temporary relief.
“Stop patting them, bruh. They’re hot,” Cooley said. “I told you she was gon’ make you look like you are headed to the pros.”
“Well, if I have to endure that type of pain to look like a ball player, I’ll keep my ponytail,” Denise said, hoping for another breeze.
“How I end up hanging with y’all two non-dressing fools?” Cooley teased. She pulled out a mirror to check her short curly Afro. She had let her hair grow out from the short boy cut. Even though her hair was naturally curly, she placed a mild texturizer in it to give it just the right amount of curl.
“Whateva. I don’t know about you, but I’m going to class and practice. I’m not getting fly for that. I am happy sitting here in my shorts,” Denise said.
“I feel you, Dee. This is supposed to be school, not a runway. Besides, my girl likes the way I dress.” Nic smiled.
“Y’all crazy. You are your appearance. Nic, you need to let that hair down and put on something fly. And, Dee—Fuck it! You’re just hopeless.”
“Fuck you!” Denise laughed.
“Like I said, my girl likes it,” Nic boasted, holding her head high.
“Aww, there you go with that sappy shit,” Cooley said. “Damn, this is the last year. I’m so ready to be up out this bitch,” Cooley said, placing her shades on her face. That was one thing they all agreed on.
“What’s up, Cooley?” A petite girl walked up. You could tell she cut her shorts herself by how uneven they were. They showed the majority of her butt cheeks.
“Ahh, shit, Bree, what’s up? What the deal, mami?” Cooley stood up and gave the girl a hug. She had messed around with Bree, but never went the entire way.
“You got it. Word on the streets is that you doing it big boy-style, working at Jam Zone,” the girl said, batting her long, fake eyelashes.
“I was doing it big before Jam Zone, and you know it.”
“You right, you right. So what’s up wit’ cha? Heard you not wit’ ole gal anymore.”
“Damn, you sho do hear a lot about me,” Cooley said.
Nic and Denise attempted to hold back laughter.
“You know I like to make sure I keep up with what I want.” The girl leaned her body up against Cooley. “So what’s up? You wit’ her or not?”
“That’s a negative, but I’m in chill mode right now, shorty. But I’ll get at cha when I’m able again,” Cooley said.
Denise and Nic were amazed.
The girl looked over at Nic. “Your name is Nic, right?” She smiled.
“Um.” Nic looked confused. She had never seen the girl a day in her life. “Yeah.”
The girl smiled. “Yeah, I saw your show last year. That was hot. My friend Peaches is crazy about you. She thought you were just so fine. I can give you her number if you like.”
“Um, thanks, but no thanks. I got a girl.” Nic timidly looked down at her book.
Denise couldn’t help but laugh.
“Well, looks like all the sexy studs are off the market. Dee, you just don’t give no girl a chance. My girl Tee been trying to get at you since freshman year.”
“You already know the deal, Bree,” Denise said.
“Well, I will see you all lata. Let me go break the news to my girls. Holla.” Bree walked off.
“You in chill mode?” Denise questioned Cooley. “What’s up with you?”
“Nothing. I’m just not looking to mess around right now,” Cooley said.
“I never thought I would see the day.” Denise laughed.
“Damn! Y’all act like a nigga just can’t get right.” She smiled, pointing at Nic. “Look at this mutha over here. Girl’s finna start throwing the panties at you. They would throw them at Dee, but she already turned them all down.” Cooley laughed.
Denise threw up her middle finger.
“Well, they can just throw them at someone else ’cause not a girl on this campus or in this city interests me more than what I already have,” Nic said.
“I know I said chill with that sappy shit. Aww, damn!” Cooley slumped down in her chair a little as Carmen and Misha approached. She watched Misha glance at her through her shades.
“You all are never going to believe this,” Carmen said as she and Misha walked up to them.
“Believe what?” Denise questioned.
“Lo is back to dick now,” Carmen said as she sat on Nic’s lap.
“Whuuut?” Denise and Cooley said at the same time. Lo was a hard stud. There was nothing feminine about her.
“Yeah, she goes by Loretta now. She married some club owner or DJ something,” Carmen added.
“Get the fuck out of here!” Cooley was shocked, “She was a bigger ho than—”
“You?” Misha interjected.
Cooley threw her a smirk.
“Yeah, and Tisha is pregnant, but I always knew her ass was going,” Carmen said.
“Oh, not miss ‘I can’t stand dick’ Tish. That bitch claimed she was so gay. Fucking sike-a-dyke.” Misha rolled her eyes.
“Hey, if the girl wants to be back with men, then y‘all gon’ let her go back to men. It’s not like y‘all fuckin’ any of them,” Nic said, noticing how upset Misha seemed.
“Nic, you don’t understand. Women like that make it hard for women like me. They are the reasons that men feel like they can talk to me any kind of way.’Cause these bitches will yell they are gay but in the same breath will drop the panties. So, men think all of us are the same way.”
“Not to mention, that’s the reason that all these STDs are starting to hit the lesbian community more.’Cause these bisexual women are sleeping with men and then having unprotected sex with women. And it’s usually the ones that aren’t up front about who they are.”
Cooley and Denise listened as Carmen, Misha, and Nic talked. Denise thought about her experience with her ex, Crystal. She’d caught her in bed with a man. Her mind then went to Lena. She was crazy about her, and she was sleeping with a man every night.
“And look who’s headed our way,” Cooley said as two women walked toward them. Both were passing out flyers to everyone who passed their way. “These bitches get on my la—What’s up, Nyla?” Cooley said to the petite feminine woman.
“Man, so much. How are all of you black people doing today?” Nyla responded.
“Yeah, how is everyone?” the other girl said. She was much taller than Nyla and wore long locks. “How are you, Carmen?”
“I’m good, Neo. How are you? Loving the locks,” Carmen said to the stud.
“Things could be better.” Neo handed Carmen a flyer. “You know the majorette choreographer, Devin, was bashed a couple of days ago.”
“Get the fuck out of here!” Misha said. “Was it on campus?”
“Yeah, it was. You know, over by the drama department. We’re having a planning meeting to figure out how to deal with the way things are getting on campus.” Neo handed Misha and Carmen flyers. “You two should come. Carmen, we missed you in the Gay Student Alliance last year.”
Cooley cleared her throat. “Um, what about us?”
“What about you?” Neo said with a slight attitude.
“Why you gon’ single out C and Misha but not us? Maybe I’m wrong, but I think it’s three gay-ass studs sitting at this table too.”
“Cooley, come on, like you’re really interested. You haven’t been in the Alliance any year you’ve been here,” Neo responded.
“Just ’cause I’m not joining the Alliance doesn’t mean I wouldn’t participate in anything with an issue like this. I was cool with Devin. Not to mention, if someone was to get bashed again it would probably be one of us before Carmen or Misha. After all they can pass, we can’t. You of all people should understand that.”
Neo sighed. “Fine, Cooley, if you want to come, then come.” She handed Cooley a flyer. “I will see you all later.”
“Fake-ass nigga,” Cooley said when Neo and Nyla walked away.
“Cooley, why you have to act like that?” Carmen asked.
“I want to know why she had to flirt with you like that,” Nic said to Carmen.
“She was not flirting.” Carmen smiled.
“How was I acting?” Cooley interrupted. “The girl is fake. Just a few years ago she was just like Misha’s little girl Tay, trying to jock my style. Hating on me and shit.”
“Whatever,” Misha said.
“But you don’t have to act like that. People change,” Carmen added.
Nic ignored her. “She was completely flirting with you.”
“How was I actin’?” Cooley said again.
“Oh, Nic, I love it when you’re jealous.” Carmen kissed Nic.
“Dammit, how the fuck was I actin’?’” Cooley yelled.
“Like you really give a fuck about coming to the meeting or the alliance,” Misha said.
“Wait, how do you know I wasn’t? Damn, that’s fucked up that you all don’t think I care about gay rights and shit.”
“Cooley, so you would join the Gay Student Alliance?” Nic asked.
“Hell naw. Man, the only people who join that are newly out and proud lesbians, curious women who want to act like they really give a damn about bridging the gay and straight gap, when they just trying to find a date, and ugly chicks, ’cause that’s the only way they can meet people.”
“That’s fucked up, Cooley. I was in the G.S.A. my freshman and sophomore year,” Carmen said.
“My point exactly. I didn’t see you joining last year when you went off and thought you were sexy all of a sudden and when you got with Pretty Tony over here,” Cooley said.
Nic threw up her middle finger at Cooley.
“Whatever. I was just busy,” Carmen said.
“Exactly. We aren’t nerds without lives like the people who join the G.S.A.” Cooley put her shades on and smiled.
Misha shook her head.
“And what’s that all about, Misha?” Cooley asked.
“You are pitiful,” Misha said.
“Anyway, new subject.” Cooley looked over at Misha. “Mish where yo’ little gal at?”
Misha rolled her eyes. “She is in class. Where is your groupie of the week?”
“Ahh, you got jokes. No groupies, shawty. I’m gon’ wait for you to get ya shit together and come back where you know you supposed to be.” Cooley smiled.
“Changing the subject again,” Misha said. She knew she had to get off the subject before she got any weaker in the knees. “So are y’all going to see Oohzee perform at Escapade this weekend?”
“Hell, yeah, you already know! Me and my bruh here are on the show,” Cooley said, giving daps to Nic. Oohzee was the most popular exotic entertainer in the lesbian nation. She was notorious for pulling studs up on stage with her and flipping them over onto their backs with her acrobatic moves. Many up-and-coming entertainers had tried to copy her style, but few of them had the pull that Oohzee had. After pulling Cooley on stage the last time she was here and having her way with her. Cooley had been in love.
“Who is Oohzee?”
Everyone turned to see Lena walk up. Denise’s heart began to beat rapidly.
Lena looked at Denise and could feel the butterflies fluttering around in her stomach.
“Oohzee is my future baby mama.” Cooley looked at Misha. “Well, that is, since Misha won’t act right.” She grinned.
Misha rolled her eyes at Cooley. “Whatever, fool. Well, I guess I will see you there,” Misha said. “I gotta get to class. See y’all later.” She started to walk off.
Cooley jumped up and followed. “Misha, hold up,” Cooley yelled after her. She felt as though history was repeating itself. She had run after Misha the first time they met.
“What, Carla?” Misha responded with a hint of attitude.
“Damn, Misha, why you gotta act like that with me? I thought we are better than that.”
“Sorry, Cooley, I just can’t be all around you like that. Tay doesn’t like—”
“Misha, why are you dating that clown anyway? You know about her rep—”
“Oh, no, you didn’t say anything about reps. After all, I did date you, and your rep is ten times worse than hers.” Cooley knew she was right. She was still known as “Killa Cap Cooley.”
“Man, Misha, that’s not fair. You know how much I care about you. I changed all that for you.”
“Yeah, and you reverted back to your old ways the next damn day! Yeah, Carla, I know about your little fuck fest the last day of school,” Misha snapped.
Cooley knew then that Misha still cared about her.
Cooley lowered her head in defeat. “Misha, look me in my eyes and tell me that you don’t still care about me.”
“Cooley ...”
“You can’t do it, can you?” Cooley walked closer to Misha. Her eyes were piercing Misha like a knife. The heat began to rise between them. They were electric.
Misha cut Cooley off and backed up. “Cooley, we can’t do this. I can’t go there with you. I am with Tay now. I am happy. Let’s just agree to work on our friendship. That’s all we can have.”
Cooley took a step back. She refused to show just how hurt she really was. “A’ight, dig that then. See you around, shorty.” Cooley turned around and headed back to the courtyard. She refused to give up that easily.
“Hey, Dee.” Lena finally mustered up the nerve to speak.
“How are you, Lena?” Denise asked. She had almost forgotten just how beautiful Lena was. Denise tried not to stare at Lena’s frame. She noticed how Lena’s short Baby Phat shorts were hugging her thighs and butt perfectly. She wondered if it was the breeze that was giving her chills.
“I am good,” Lena said. She tried not to pay attention to Denise’s brown skin. She wanted to feel up and down her muscular arms. She loved seeing Denise in wife-beaters; they hugged her body, showing off just how toned she was. “Hey, want to walk and talk?”
Carmen and Nic watched as Denise and Lena walked off.
“Soooo, are you thinking what I am thinking?” Nic said.
“Yup, that’s disaster waiting to happen.”
Denise and Lena walked in silence for a while. They made small talk about each other’s summers. Lena could feel herself being drawn toward Denise and tried to fight it. They sat down on a bench in front of the library.
“I have, um, really missed you this summer,” Lena admitted.
Denise’s heart skipped a beat. “Really? I have missed you too. I didn’t want to bother you. I know you’ve been real busy.”
“Yeah, wedding planning and—”
“Yeah, wedding planning and Brandon.” Denise could feel her stomach sinking.
They both became silent.
“Dee,” Lena whispered.
Denise looked at her. Their eyes met.
“Do you think about, you know, what happened last semester?”
All the damn time. Denise thought to herself. “Well, yeah, sometimes I do. But I know it was just a kiss.”
“Do you really think it was just a kiss?”
“What do you think it was, Lena?” Denise looked at Lena.
“I was just wondering. That’s all.”
“Lena, like I told you last year, you were just a little curious. It’s no big deal. We made the right decision not to act on that. Hell, you are about to be married after all.”
“Yeah, I guess you are right. So, are we still friends?” Denise asked.
“Yeah, of course, you are one of my best friends.” Denise hugged Lena. Neither one of them wanted to let go.
They parted ways, both trying to shake the feelings before they got around anyone who would notice.
Cooley stood in front of the bookstore bulletin board hoping to find a band or two to check out. She wanted to have something interesting to take to Atlanta during Christmas break. She knew she’d made a great impression over the summer at Jam Zone and hoped to secure a job over Christmas break.
“You don’t see any ads for a freshman English book, do you?”
Cooley turned to see an attractive girl staring at the bulletin board.
“Naw, I don’t. You know what, I think I have a freshman English book in my dorm. You’re a freshman?” Cooley sized the woman up. She was definitely great potential, but she hadn’t gotten the gay vibe from her yet.
“No. I’m a senior, but I am trying to help a girl from my church out. She was a Katrina victim. Lost most of her family.”
“Well, in that case, follow me.”
Cooley and the girl headed into the bookstore. Cooley picked up a new freshman English book and bought it. She could tell the girl was impressed. They headed out of the bookstore.
“Wow, that was really nice of you.” The girl smiled, exposing two rows of perfect, white teeth.
Cooley smiled back. “My pleasure. I am always about helping people.”
“And who should I say helped her get this book?”
Cooley figured the girl couldn’t be gay. All the gay girls on campus knew who she was. “My name is Carla, but most people call me Cooley. And your name is?”
“I’m Lynn.” Lynn shook Cooley’s hand. “I thank you again, Carla.”
Cooley watched as Lynn walked away.
Damn shame, Cooley thought to herself. She hated to see straight women pass her up.
Before Denise could make it into her room, there was a knock on the door. She opened it to find Rhonda standing there in a long black coat.
“Can we talk?” Rhonda asked her as she walked into the apartment before Denise could answer. She headed back to Denise’s room.
Denise closed the door and slowly followed Rhonda back to her room. “What’s going on, Rhonda?”
“I fucked up, Denise. I am sorry about that. Let’s not throw away what we have over a small argument,” Rhonda said, turning her back to Denise.
“Man, I can’t deal with you getting all pissed over my friends. They have been there for me for years, and your feud with them is bringing me stress.” Denise sat on the bed. “I’m too damn blessed to be stressed.”
Rhonda was still turned away from Denise. “I agree. It will never happen again.” She turned around slowly. The jacket was now unzipped and exposed her nude body.
Denise was in shock.
Rhonda walked up to her and began to sensually kiss her neck. She pushed Denise back onto the bed and straddled her.
Denise felt funny. She put her arms between Rhonda and herself.
“Rhonda, I am not ready to be doing this,” she said as she sat up, causing Rhonda to get off of her.
“Denise, we have been dating for almost five months and you have never put a hand on me. What’s up with you?” Rhonda was quickly becoming upset. She jumped up and put her jacket back on.
“Man, I told you from jump that I am not looking for anything serious, and now you wanna act all brand-new.”
“Denise, I have been waiting on you for five damn months. I figured maybe you were fucking another girl, but we spend all our time together. So what’s the deal? It must be that bitch you were all hugged up with by the library today!”
Denise’s eyes widened. “Oh, so now you spying on me?”
Rhonda knew she was caught. “No, it’s not like that. I saw you walk away with the girl and my friend saw you at the library with some girl—”
Denise cut her off. “You know what, Rhonda, save it. This isn’t going to work.”
“Denise, I’m sorry,” Rhonda said.
“Rhonda, come on now. I can’t do this. Let’s just be friends.”
Rhonda looked at Denise and sighed. “You know what, fuck you, Denise!” She stormed out the room.
Denise heard her slam the front door. Denise sat back down on her bed. Drama, she thought to herself. She decided to make the vow she made to herself again. No more women until I graduate.
Lena heard her phone ring. It was Brandon. She pressed ignore. She wasn’t in the mood to talk to him. She picked up the phone and called Carmen instead.
“What’s going on, girl?” Carmen said when she answered the phone.
“Nothing much. Hey, what are you and Nic doing this weekend? I was thinking you all could come over this Friday and have dinner with Brandon and me.”
“Oh, Friday won’t work. Remember we’re going to the club to see Oohzee perform?”
“Oh, yeah. I still don’t know who Oohzee is,” Lena said.
“Girl, she’s the baddest damn dancer in the land. You want to venture out to the gay club with us again?” Carmen laughed.
“No, I don’t think that would be a good idea. I saw Denise today.” Lena expected a response, but didn’t get one. “Carmen, did you hear me?”
“Yeah, I heard you. What did you want me to say?” Carmen responded. She knew that Lena was still feeling Denise.
“I don’t know. I told her that I still think about her,” Lena confessed.
Carmen’s mouth dropped. “Really now. What did she say?”
“She turned me down. Told me to go home to Brandon.” Lena felt her eyes starting to water.
“Oh, I’m sorry, Lena. You may not like what I am about to say, but she’s right. That is something you need to let go of. You know curiosity kills many cats.”
“Carmen, it’s not that easy. I have been trying to all summer.”
“Well, I suggest you try harder. Maybe you should talk about this to someone who is impartial. After all we’re talking about my best friends here. I love you, girl, and I want the best for you. And the best is your fiance.”
Lena knew Carmen was right. “You’re right, C. I just need to try harder.”