Chapter 43

“Hey, sweetie,” Misha said as she walked into Lena’s bedroom.

Lena smiled. “Hey, girl. Come over here and lay with me.”

Misha walked over and climbed onto the bed.

“Do you want anything?”

Misha shook her head.

“Well, how was the doctor’s appointment?”

Misha felt tears forming in her eyes. “I’m pregnant. And I have lost the only man and only woman I have every truly loved. I fucked up.”

Lena placed her arm around Misha. “I can’t lie, baby, you fucked up. But if you love that man, you need to go to him. But if you know that you are not going to be fully satisfied, then you need to let him go.”

Misha knew that Lena was right. “Lena, I have never been so happy before in my life. When I am with him, I am happy, just like when we were kids. But at the same time, I still am attracted to women. I don’t know if I am going to slip up again like with Cooley.”

“Misha, I understand,” Lena said as Misha laid her head on her lap. “I am, after all, in love with a man and a woman.”

Misha raised her head up. “Denise?”

“This doesn’t leave this room,” Lena said as she lowered her voice. “I love Brandon. I truly love Brandon. But after being with Denise, I admit that I love her too. I wanted so much to be with her. She makes me feel like I have never felt before. But I made the decision that here is where I am supposed to be. I value my friendship with her too much to jeopardize it again. And I love Brandon’s lying ass so much that I am willing to give him a second chance.”

“But why would you think you couldn’t be with Denise? You know she loves you too.”

“Because my heart truly belongs to Brandon. She only holds a piece of it. Brandon holds the most. If he didn’t, I wouldn’t still be here. So, Misha, you need to figure out who truly has your heart, Patrick or the lifestyle.”

Misha laid her head back down on Lena. She knew that she was right. She had a decision to make, but she wondered if it was too late to turn back.

 

 

Cooley sat in Lynn’s dorm room. She looked around at her desk. She had pictures of them in frames. Cooley laughed at a picture that Lynn took of her sleeping. She realized that Lynn really did love her. She just didn’t feel the same way. Cooley loved Lynn, but she was not and never would be in love with her.

Lynn walked into the room in her robe. “Just give me a few minutes to get dressed.” She pulled the robe off in front of Cooley.

Cooley looked at her body. It was nice, but it wasn’t the best she had seen. “Lynn, why do you like me so much?” Cooley asked.

Lynn turned around and looked at Cooley. “What do you mean?”

Cooley looked down at the picture of her sleeping. “Just what I said. Why do you like me so much? I’m just an average type of nigga. I ain’t worth shit. So, why you choose to be with me, even though you know we ain’t together?”

“Cooley, I don’t know. There’s something that I see in you, I guess. That first day at the bookstore, I felt this attraction to you that I don’t usually feel with anyone. I knew then that you were going to be someone special in my life.”

Cooley looked at Lynn. She could tell that she meant it. “Lynn, after graduation I’m leaving for Miami. I’m moving there, and I’m going to be in a very fast-paced industry. I kept telling you, we aren’t together, because I didn’t want you putting too much into me. I don’t know what the future holds, and I didn’t want you to ever place all your marbles in my bag.”

Lynn pulled her shirt over her head. “Cooley, I hear you. I do admit that I don’t want you to move ’cause I care about you. But I’ve been looking into some things, and maybe things will work out. I have faith that one day soon you’ll realize how much I love you and give yourself to me completely.”

“I don’t see—”

“Just let things happen, Cooley. Stop thinking so much and just go with things. That’s what I do.” Lynn smiled.

“Lynn, seriously, I’m telling you this as a friend. You gotta think with your brain, ’cause the heart and emotions get people into trouble. No matter what happens with us in the end, I just want you to know that I do value you as a friend.”

Lynn didn’t know what to think about Cooley’s statement, but she just smiled and let it go.

They headed out the door to the movies.