Chapter Nine
Marcus stood on the porch, clutching the wooden railing. The sun slowly dipped beyond the horizon, creating a beautiful orange and red sky. It looked like a storm was brewing. Although the scenery was surreal, agony gripped his heart.
He must kill Isabelle.
The longer he thought about ending her life, the more the ache in his chest grew almost to the point of suffocation. He devised plans in his head on how to go about doing it, but each way left a bitter taste of bile in his mouth. His stomach churned with indecision.
Logically, he knew he couldn’t kill her, and it had nothing to do with the time they’d spent together. He just couldn’t kill someone that might know about Napoleon’s plans. If Isabelle were indeed a spy, she’d know secrets that would help Captain Hawk obtain his revenge.
Wavy sandy colored hair blowing in the breeze captured his attention as Isabelle crossed the yard with Monkey. The boy motioned his hands in big circles, telling her some interesting story. The lad tended to over dramatize everything. Her eyes widened and remained on the boy. Marcus couldn’t help but grin. Indeed, she was very innocent. Although now he knew she played her part well. No wonder the emperor decided to make her a spy.
Monkey smiled, which made Isabelle laugh. She slid an arm around the boy’s shoulders and hugged him. Marcus’ stomach clenched. Already he missed her sweet laughter.
When she pulled away from Monkey, her gaze jumped up and met Marcus’. She smiled and gave him a small wave. His heart leapt, and he cursed the reaction. He couldn’t let his feelings discourage him from what he needed to do. Hardening his heart against her was the only way to survive.
Monkey pointed at a distance through the thicket of trees surrounding Marcus’ hideout, which took Isabelle’s attention off Marcus. He didn’t want her knowing his plans, but how could he act as if nothing happened? How could he refrain from shaking her senseless for her traitorous actions without wanting to pull her in his arms and kiss her endlessly?
Her head snapped in his direction again, her eyes wide. She said something to Monkey before leaving his side and striding toward Marcus. He gripped the railing harder and took a deep breath. Pretending would start now.
“Captain Hawk?” Her voice lifted as she climbed the steps. “Monkey tells me I’ll be returning to Plymouth tomorrow.”
“Yes.”
“May I ask why?”
Indeed, she was a gifted actress, because she almost appeared to be saddened over the news. She frowned, and her eyes held no light in them.
“There is still much I need to do,” he told her. “We need to return to get more supplies.”
She stepped closer and touched his shoulder. It took all of his control not to yank her into his arms.
“What, may I ask, have you planned for me?”
Inhaling deeply, he reminded himself to act as if nothing was wrong…as if he was still the love-struck fool. “You’ll be released, just as I have promised, my dove.”
“I see. Will you still find a solicitor to help me with my father’s estate?”
“Indeed. I know a man who will help you. I’ll contact him immediately after we arrive.” He stroked her cheek and forced a smile. “Have I not followed through with my promises?”
“Of course. It’s not that, it’s just—” She bit her bottom lip. Tears gathered in her eyes and she blinked them away.
His heart wrenched. Why was she doing this? And why wasn’t he strong enough to fight the attraction between them? He couldn’t let her get to him. She was a spy, and a mighty good one at that.
“What’s wrong, my dove?” With his fingers under her chin, he turned her face back toward him.
No twinkle touched her eyes when a smile wavered on her face. Her drab expression tugged at his heart, and he willed it not to affect him so.
“I’d hoped… Well, I have become rather fond of you, and it has been quite enjoyable being with you.”
He threw back his head and laughed, even if humor wasn’t the emotion. “Oh, my dear, Isabelle. Are you saying you want to join my crew of cutthroats?”
She scowled. “Well, of course not.”
“So tell me why you’d want to stay with me if not to become a highwayman?”
She stared at him with wide eyes. He knew why she wanted to stay, and if he hadn’t found the secret message in the dagger, he might have invited her to be his mistress. Thankfully, he stopped before making such a stupid mistake.
“I—I hoped you wanted me to stay,” she said in a low voice.
“Ah, but my lovely, there’s only one reason for you to stay.” He slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer. “But alas, my life has more meaning than just frolicking with a passionate woman.”
She huffed and pushed away from him. “Is that all I am? Just your entertainment?”
He shrugged. “What more could there be, my dove?”
Tears filled her eyes again before she swung away from him, marching into the house. His heart dropped the further away she moved. He would have wanted to be with her all the time, loving her and raising babies. But not now.
Not ever.
* * * *
Isabelle must change his mind.
She swiped the tears falling down her cheeks as she hurried into her room and closed the door. Wasn’t he getting closer to her as she was to him? Sometimes the way he acted, it was as if his heart softened the more they were together. Every time he’d kissed her, he’d put so much emotion into it. She knew for certain she loved him, but could she convince him he felt the same way?
She fell on the bed and curled her knees to her chest, staring at the wall. Only a few hours to convince him. A few hours to show him she was the woman who’d change his life.
Perhaps if she could remove his mask…
Her heart beat with renewed life as she sat up. Was that the key? If she knew his real identity, he couldn’t possibly let her go. She smiled. That’s what she’d do. Somehow she’d get him to relax enough for her to remove his mask.
She scrambled off the bed and changed her clothes into the sensual red silk gown he’d given her. Tonight she had to be the most charming, most passionate woman he’d ever encountered.
She didn’t hurry through fixing her hair, because there was still time to waste before Hawk retired for the night. He couldn’t know about her plans. Not until she was ready.
Time passed slowly, and she paced the small space in her room. Hawk hadn’t called for her. Wasn’t it time for the evening meal? Nervousness twisted in her stomach and made it impossible to eat, let alone think of food right now.
When she couldn’t stand it anymore, she left her room and walked the few steps to his. Moisture gathered on her palms, and she swiped them down the sides of the dress to dry her skin. Her heart knocked a quick rhythm against her ribs as she put her hand on the doorknob. Before she lost her courage, she pushed the door open.
He stood next to the small desk holding a sheet of paper. His head jerked toward her. She waited for him to say something, but he didn’t. His gaze darkened, but it was a different color than what she’d been used to seeing. Instead of tenderness in his eyes, anger coated them as if he wanted to shoot fire at her.
Convincing herself she wasn’t the reason for his anger, she walked further into the room on shaky legs and shut the door behind her. His attention dropped from her face to slide over her gown. Within seconds, his dark eyes became the color she remembered. Passionate and soft.
He placed the paper he’d been reading on the desk and turned toward her, still not saying a word. The silence bothered her, and she wished she could read his expression. Since earlier that evening when they were outside, his eyes had held the most confusing emotions, and she couldn’t determine what was wrong. She wanted to scream until he explained why he acted in such a way.
She cleared her throat. “I thought I would help you ready yourself for bed.”
“No need. I can manage by myself.”
Hawk answered too short and clipped. He turned back to his desk and shuffled through papers.
His rude dismissal left a hole in her heart and tightened her chest that she almost couldn’t breathe. Tears pricked her eyes again, but she refused to shed them. His behavior was unacceptable. She must find out why he treated her in such a way, and change his attitude. She had to make him love her.
On unsteady legs, she walked behind him and ran her hand up his arm. He stiffened, but didn’t say anything. Taking this as a good sign, she pressed on and rubbed her palm up and down his muscles.
“Hawk.” Her voice came out low. “I want to do this for you. If this is our last night together, I want to remember it…forever.”
Tears collected in her eyes and she quickly blinked them away. She couldn’t let him see how this affected her. Not yet.
Hawk remained stiff for a few silent minutes. Her heart pounded in a fierce rhythm. Surely, he would hear.
He breathed a deep sigh before turning to face her. This time when he looked into her eyes, pity laced their depths. She couldn’t decide whether to become upset, or hold her tongue. She chose the latter.
His gaze roamed her face, and hair. He grasped her shoulders as his thumbs rubbed circles on her skin. Tingles erupted, just as they always did whenever he touched her. She never wanted to be without this feeling again, but she feared he wanted to end everything.
“You’re very beautiful tonight, my dear.”
His tight voice let her know he fought his feelings. But why? “Thank you, Hawk. I wore this for you.”
The corner of his mouth lifted in a grin. “For me?”
She closed the space between them and ran her palms up his chest, before linking her fingers around his neck. “I think you know why.”
He cupped her face, his thumb drawing lazy circles near her mouth. “I do.”
With soft strokes, she ran her fingertips along his mask. “Can’t you tell how much I have come to care for you?”
His smile disappeared, pulling his lips straight. Even the color of his eyes hardened, so she quickly continued, “You have made me feel protected unlike any man has ever done before. I don’t want to lose this feeling, Hawk.”
Groaning, he pulled her tight and crushed his mouth to hers. Her heart soared and she clung to him. Sighing heavily, she enjoyed his wild kiss, but then he pulled away. When he stepped back, emptiness filled her chest.
He scrubbed his chin. “No, Isabelle. I have too much to do tonight.” He met her stare. Softly, he brushed his knuckles across her cheek. “Return to your room and rest.”
When he turned away from her, tears filled her eyes and she couldn’t stop them this time. He had crushed her heart and she didn’t know how to mend it. Dejectedly, she hurried toward the door. As soon as she placed her hand on the knob, she stopped. Once she walked out, that would be the end. If she couldn’t get him to change his mind now, she never would.
Swallowing the thick lump of emotion gathering in her throat, she turned around, pressing her back against the door for strength. He stood still, facing away from her. His body was too stiff. Obviously, something bothered him. Something she needed to fix.
“Hawk?”
Slowly, he turned toward her. No smile lit his face. Her heart sank further.
“Please—” She took a deep breath. “Please tell me what’s amiss. I’m practically giving myself to you, and yet you turn me away. Why…why are you acting like this? What have I done?”
Her voice cracked and she covered her mouth with her hand, not wanting to show him her quivering lips. But her whole body quaked with the sobs she held back. He’d be blind not to notice.
He shook his head as he walked toward her, stopping mere inches away. With gentle fingers, he stroked her cheek. “You did nothing, my dear. Forgive me for being this way, but much is on my mind.” A tear slipped down her face and before she could wipe it, he brushed his fingers across her cheek, catching it. “Please don’t cry.”
She grasped his hand and kissed his palm, keeping his gaze locked with hers. “You’re pushing me away, and I want to know why.”
Hawk leaned against her, pinning her to the door as his arms wound around her waist. She held in a sob as she rested her head against his chest. Softly, he brushed his lips across her hairline. The tenderness expressed made her want to bawl like a baby. Why did his emotions jump from one extreme to the other?
“Oh, my dear Isabelle. You’ve pleased me greatly these past few days, and I’ve been very happy. But alas, our time together has come to an end. Gabe will take you to Plymouth in the morning. I cannot keep you here with me.”
She lifted her head and looked into his shadowed eyes. “Why can’t you keep me? What if I don’t want to leave?”
His mouth lifted in a half smile. “You must, my dear. There’s no room in my life for a woman, and there will never be.”
She brushed her fingers through his hair, hoping to get close enough to the ties of the mask and remove it when the time was right. “You once told me you had a secret life in town. Is there any room for me there?”
“No. As much as it pains me to say this, I’m not a marrying kind of man. My heart is hardened and revenge is the only thing that drives me. I’ll not let a beautiful woman—no matter how passionate she is—turn my thoughts to love and family.” He kissed her forehead again. “Isabelle, find your betrothed and marry him. I’m certain he’ll make a fine husband. I hope you understand.”
Emptiness filled her, from the ends of her hair clear down to her toenails. Pain like she’d never experienced before tightened her chest. Removing his mask wasn’t important now. He really didn’t care for her like she did him. She wanted to cry all over again. At least she knew his true feelings. He was a bounder…a cad…a defiler of women. He didn’t give a whit about Isabelle’s feelings.
Anger pulsed through her and beat in rhythm with her heart. She pushed her palms against his chest and moved him back. “Oh, I understand more than you think. I understand why I looked at you differently from other men. I thought you were someone special, but you aren’t. You have no heart at all, Captain Hawk. You’re as ruthless as they come, and no better than the swine and gutter rats.”
She opened the door and glared at him. “I commend you for showing me your true self before I allowed myself to fall in love with you. Thank you for saving me from a fate worse than death.”
As she hurried to her room, she sighed with relief that he didn’t try and stop her. When she entered her room and slammed the door, the tears flooded her eyes while cries of agony wracked her whole body. Never had she wore her feelings on her shoulders before, and never would she do it again. She’d practically begged for his love, only to have him cut her chest open with a knife and crush her heart. She would never sink to that level again. From now on, she would control her life and not let other people trample on her.
She fell to her cot and cried, wishing the notorious Captain Hawk hadn’t captured her heart—and wishing she had indeed killed him on that first day.
* * * *
Isabelle’s crumbled heart lay in her chest, causing a horrid pain. Trying not to think about it, she looked out the window of the coach as the driver took her through the rainy streets of Plymouth. Excitement should be bouncing in her bosom since she’d never seen this place before. Instead, misery and dread lurked inside, making her wonder about her future.
The dirty, rotten, gutter-rat, Captain Hawk, had graciously assigned Gabe to blindfold her and take her—and her trunk—to the edge of town. After he uncovered her eyes, he gave her a little money to find a hackney. He also let her have his cloak to ward off the rain. The so-called generous man even went as far as to give her a name of a solicitor to get in touch with who would help her with her father’s estates. She’d rather empty her stomach all over the retched captain than to take his offer.
The clip-clop of horse’s hooves on the cobblestone road echoed in the early morning, leading her toward her father’s home. A few vendors were already about their business, calling out their wares.
Sighing, she frowned and rested her head against the wall of the coach. Tears pricked her eyes, but she blinked and forced the moisture away. Never again would she cry for that man. Hawk wasn’t worth even spitting upon, although she would certainly consider doing that very thing if she saw him again.
Being with him and his friends for all those days was enough to ruin her reputation, and she prayed her father’s estate would still be livable. She hoped she could sell his things in order to obtain some kind of lifestyle until sailing back to France to be with her aunt or uncle. She had made a terrible muck of her life, and she vowed never to listen to her heart again. Obviously, highwaymen didn’t fall in love and marry. She had set her sights too high, only to see them crumble in devastation before her eyes when he had so rudely turned her away.
The coach slowed in front of a square, two-story white house surrounded by a white and black picket fence. A decorative panel crowned the front door while flattened columns stood on each side. Five windows crossed the front of the house on each level, all closed behind draperies. The pitched roof displayed two chimneys on opposite ends. No smoke billowed from the inside. Isabelle’s hopes dropped. The house looked deserted. Would she be able to do what she needed by herself?
With help from the driver, she stepped down from the vehicle before he turned and collected her trunk. A knot tightened in her throat, and she feared what she would find once entering the house. It must be done. She couldn’t sulk forever over how she’d made a shambles of her life.
Isabelle’s legs shook as she made her way through the gate and onto the front porch. She rapped lightly on the door, waited a few minutes, before trying the door to see if it opened. It did. Darkness welcomed her from inside.
She clutched her hands against her bosom as she walked into the foyer. Smaller than what she expected to see, the hallway led to a staircase in the middle of the house.
“Is anyone here?”
Holding her breath, she prayed to hear a friendly voice, but lonely silence greeted her instead. Dare she stay in a house that she didn’t know for certain was still her father’s? She had no other place to go unless she asked the driver to take her to Viscount Lockwood’s place of residence, wherever that was. However, she wouldn’t do unless it was her last choice.
“Where do you want your trunk, Miss?”
The driver’s voice startled her, and she jumped around and faced him. She pointed to the empty space beside the door. “Right there, if you will.”
He nodded and set her trunk down, and then turned and walked out of the house. She waited until he climbed on top of the coach before she closed the door. Instead of lighting the lantern on the shelf, she walked into the nearest room and opened the curtains. Dust coated the thick drapes and drifted through the air. She sneezed, returning her attention to the room as a small amount of light came inside. Not one stitch of furniture sat on the wooden floor. Her heart dropped. She feared the rest of the house would be as empty.
As she walked toward the hall, the stairs creaked, making her stall in leaving the room. Someone else was here. Soft steps descended, squeaking each step on their way. Isabelle breathed faster, not knowing whether to stay still or run.
Her frozen limbs picked her choice of action and she stayed still and stared at the doorway leading into the front hallway. A shadow appeared on the steps and she held in a scream.