Chapter Twelve

Thia put her hand on the rail, a wave of exhaustion washing over her. Her boots, wet with melted snow, took more effort than normal to lift onto the next step. Get upstairs, she thought, make sure there’s a fresh log on the fire. A long soak in the tub will feel wonderful before bed. I’ll ask Caelynn what Adam and Jinaari said in the morning.

Stopping in front of the entrance, she glanced back to make sure no one had followed her. There were only paladins left in the common room, plus Wilim, but it was habit. The only time she wouldn’t do that is if one of her friends was behind her. The wood beneath her palm, worn smooth with their touch, vibrated slightly. The portal opened and she stepped through.

Turning around, she set her gloves down on the small shelf attached to the wall.

“We need to talk.” Caelynn’s voice was strained.

Thia stopped working the buttons on her coat, stunned. “Okay,” she said, her hands finishing up. Shrugging it off, she placed it on one of the pegs below the shelf. “About what?”

“What in the name of all the Gods did you do today?” The words came out as an angry hiss.

Turning around, she saw Caelynn standing behind a chair, her hands grasping the back tight enough that her veins rose beneath the blue skin. “I . . .” she stammered, “I needed time alone. I don’t know why you’re angry. Sure, it’s later than I thought I’d be gone, but you just told Lukas—.”

“Screw him! This is between you and me!” Caelynn screamed, pointing at her. “Nobody knew where you were, Thia! I had to lie to Adam and Jinaari, make them think you were sleeping! I have never done that before! Ever! Not to the two of them!” She took a breath and Thia drew back from the ferocity of her words. “If you needed time alone, why didn’t you just say something? I would’ve made sure you got it, plus kept anyone else away. Instead, we were tearing apart the city because we were terrified that you’d been abducted! And you get found by Kasmin!” She lowered her head for a moment. “I know you’ve been trying to keep it together, Thia. I’ve seen the cracks. Adam and Jinaari haven’t, but I have. You’ve gone through more in the last six months than most people will in their lifetime. Eventually, something was going to give. If you’d just said something to me, I would’ve helped you.”

Thia walked over to a chair and sat down, the weight of Caelynn’s words hitting her like blows. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I didn’t think about that.”

Caelynn sat down opposite of her. “You should’ve. I’ve been worried sick for hours! The three of you are my family, the only one I have left. I know you don’t trust me like you do them, but I see you as a sister. I swore to Jinaari I wouldn’t lose you again, and he trusts me not to. Even after what happened in the conduit. When I discovered you were missing, I thought I’d lost you forever.”

“Wait, what are you talking about? What happened in the conduit?”

The bard’s eyes grew wide. “Didn’t he tell you what happened when you were taken?”

Thia shook her head slowly. “No. When I woke up, I asked if we’d lost anyone in the fight. He asked what happened when I was Lolc Aon’s prisoner. Neither of us brought up how I ended up a captive until later, in Cirrain. Even then he only said that Alesso was behind it. I don’t know anything beyond going to sleep in the room and waking up in a box, naked.”

“I, um,” Caelynn bowed her head; her pink hair hiding her face. Thia could see her hands shaking. “I was on watch with Alesso when you were taken.” The words came out as a whisper.

Her stomach churned. “Go on,” she said. There has to be more! She wouldn’t have given me over! Pan would’ve killed her! Jinaari and Adam would’ve made sure she was handed over to someone for judgement!

“It was about an hour into my watch. Adam had woken me up like normal. He and I would share the watch with Alesso. We knew not to let Pan babysit him.” She sighed. “Jinaari took a few turns, when we first started to go down, but Adam and I thought he needed to sleep more. That’s when we volunteered to do it. Alesso wasn’t a talker, and neither of us were interested in being friendly. There were a few times where Jinaari pulled him aside, when you were in the tent, and had words with him. I don’t know what he said those times. Probably warning him to lay off you or something.”

“Caelynn, what happened? I have a right to know.”

The pink head bobbed in agreement. With a sigh, she straightened up and looked at her. Thia sat back, shocked. Caelynn’s face was full of guilt. “Everyone else was asleep. He got up; said he was going to take a piss. Next thing I knew, something sharp hit my neck. I swatted at it and found the dart. Whatever they used; it was fast. I couldn’t move, talk, nothing. I just fell over and laid there, helpless, while the fog entered the room. It made me even more tired. The last thing I saw before I blacked out was two of them stripping you, tying you up.” Tears began to trickle down her face. “When I woke up, there was nothing left but your gear.” She looked at Thia. “It was my fault. I heard footsteps in the conduit, thought it was Alesso. I should’ve known better, done something.”

“It’s not your fault.” Thia’s heart broke at the guilt on Caelynn’s face. She cares, and I repay it by doubting her?

“It is,” she insisted. “If I had paid better attention . . . we were all worried about him, that he’d betray us at some point. I shouldn’t have let my guard down. We were so close to Lolc Aon’s sanctuary! I thought we were in the clear, past all her traps.”

Thia moved her chair closer. Taking her hand, she said, “Caelynn? Look at me.” Meeting her gaze, she continued. “No matter who was on watch, it was going to happen. If it’d been Adam or Jinaari, they would’ve used a stronger sedative. That’s all. It was perfectly planned. Alesso never said a word about the conduits until we found the one he was told to use. That room where we rested, all of it. I don’t think it’s your fault. Neither does anyone else.” She paused. “I’m sorry I scared you like I did. That wasn’t my intent, though I’m not upset about fooling the host of paladins downstairs.”

Caelynn giggled. “Oh, Lukas was livid. And he doesn’t hide it nearly as well as Jinaari.” She sighed. “Are you okay? Really?”

Thia sat back. “I am now. You’re right; I wasn’t handling things well. I kept them bottled up too long. It’s been one thing after another hammering away at me, and I’m woefully inept at dealing with the effects. I talked with Elian, and she suggested I go somewhere and let it all out.”

“Thia,” Caelynn looked at her, puzzled. “Elian’s been out of the inn all day. One of her kids was ill.”

“I talked to her, in the kitchen.” She leaned forward, burying her face in her hands. “I know I did. She’s the one that gave me the idea to make a duplicate of myself.” Raising her head, she stared at Caelynn. “I’m not mad,” she whispered. “I know she was there, along with several others. She had the tea set out, like she expected me.”

“We’ll have to talk to Adam about that, but I can’t help but think it was a set-up of some kind. We already know Kasmin can do illusions, and he found you.”

“You think it was him? A way to get me alone?”

Caelynn shrugged. “At this point,” she said, “I wouldn’t be surprised. If it was him, he’s even better trained than we thought.” She looked at Thia. “You won’t like this, but the only way to make sure it wasn’t him is for you not to be alone again. Up here, that’s one thing. He can’t come here. But out there,” she waved a hand toward the exit, “is different. I don’t want to suffocate you like Lukas did, but we gotta keep you safe.”

“I understand.”

“Good. I want to go back to what you said about making a duplicate. You can do that?”

Thia nodded. “Yes. It was only the second time. The first was when we’d come back from Tanisal. This time, I gave it enough magic to look and feel real in case someone stopped ‘me.’ Including instructions on what to say if someone asked where it was going. Once it left the kitchen, I slipped out a side door.

“I ended up near the docks. There was a sheltered alcove in the side of a cliff, with a path that led up to it. I hid in there and, don’t laugh, I cried. It’s like all the pain and grief I’ve held onto since Papa died came out at once. Kasmin found me as I was regaining my breath.” She paused, “I’m sorry you had to lie to Adam and Jinaari. I thought I’d be back before I was missed. I didn’t realize how long I was up there. Did they tell you anything?”

Caelynn nodded. “They’re meeting Amara tomorrow. From what Adam said, they’re starting back once Jinaari talks her into coming with them.”

“I’ll make sure I’m here when he calls again. I promise. And I’ll tell them that it’s not your fault. This was my doing.”

“Whatever he’s using has to stay in Helmshouse, so he won’t be able to do it again. But they’ll be back sooner than they thought.”

Thia relaxed slightly. “I’m glad to hear it. Kasmin asked me questions about them. I tried to make it sound like they were close by.”

“That’s odd.”

“What do you mean?”

Caelynn moved forward in her seat. “Think about it, Thia. In the two meetings you’ve had with him, you asked all the questions. He’s never once asked one of you. Then, he somehow finds you when you’re alone, vulnerable, and they start coming. I don’t like it.”

Thia ran a hand through her pale blonde hair. “It didn’t seem odd at the time, more like he was trying to make conversation.”

“What all did he ask you?”

Thia shrugged. “Where Pan, Jinaari, and Adam were. He was surprised he hadn’t met them yet, just you.” Her mind began to replay the conversation. “He got excited to hear Adam’s name, claimed he never could remember it. Knows you play here, wanted to come and listen to you. We talked about rumors he’d heard down in Byd Cudd about me. About all of us.” She felt her cheeks grow hot. “Said the one thing he didn’t expect when he met me was for me to be pretty.”

“Smooth.”

“What do you mean?”

Caelynn rose. “He’s trying to find out who you’re close to, where they are. That’s something I would’ve thought he’d been told before he was sent as an Envoy. The Barren, if not all Byd Cudd, knew we were coming and who we were. Why does he act like he doesn’t know?” She moved to a small cabinet where the group kept some food and mead. “There’s something about his claim not to remember Adam’s name that bothers me. Something Adam told me in passing once.” Shaking her head, she sighed. “I can’t put my finger on it now. If I wake you up in the middle of the night, you’ll understand.”

“He said he’d heard that one reason Agrana was screaming for my head was because Jinaari and I were closer than she wanted. But that doesn’t make much sense, either. Tomil was told Amara was sent to Helmshouse because he wanted her dead so he could marry me. Argh!” she flopped back into the chair in frustration. “Why are there so many people talking about things they know nothing about!”

Caelynn handed her a goblet. “Here.” Thia took a sip of the wine while her friend settled into her chair again. “They talk because they can. When they see someone, who has something they want, they don’t like it. So, they make up stories to make the other person look bad. It’s possible both rumors came from Agrana. Or neither. There could be a score more that haven’t reached Almair yet. The goal is distraction, to discredit you. If you’re the Daughter of Keroys, slayer of the Forsaken, that’s one thing. A woman who sleeps around and wants political power? A crown? That’s different.” Tilting her head to one side, she looked at Thia. “I wonder why this surprises you. From what you’ve said about life at the cloister, you know how vicious rumors are. One small comment taken out of context can become an avalanche of lies within minutes.”

“That’s different, though.”

“How?”

Thia shifted in her seat. “They weren’t jealous of me. I wasn’t pretty, like them. I didn’t have parents who were rich, well connected. There wasn’t any reason for it. And now I’m being targeted not for who I am but what I am. I can’t control that!” She rubbed at her neck, working on a knot in the muscles.

“First off, you’re beautiful. Smart. Damn good at magic. All things that those girls weren’t. Thia, you spent so many years hearing the lies they’d spew that you grew to believe them. It was easier to think something was wrong with you instead of them. Thing is, that’s what they wanted you to think. I bet any number of them had things going on in their lives that were hard for them. Then you came along, outdid them at all the lessons, rose up to be trusted by Father Philip. You can’t let the shadow of the past dictate your life now.” Caelynn moved closer and put a hand on hers. “You rejected the life that you would’ve had with your mother, accepted the one you have now. Part of that is understanding that we all love you for who you are, not because you’re Marked. We don’t fear you, Thia. To us, you’re beautiful, kind, and have a sense of what’s right. I know I’ve blurred the line in my life. Adam has, too.” She giggled, then her face grew serious. “You’re the only person that’s Jinaari’s equal in that arrogant sense of honor he has. I think that’s one reason why he trusts you as much as he does. He knows that you’ll do what’s right, even if it’s what hurts you the most.”

She felt tears form in her eyes. “But,” she hesitated, “what if I don’t know what that is?”

Caelynn smiled. “We all have that fear. Even Jinaari, with all his bravado. I’ll never admit this if you tell him, but I saw his face while you were unconscious after the fight with Lolc Aon. He was trained for battle, and it tore him up watching you fight one that he couldn’t help with.”

“And I repay him by running off, scaring you and his brother paladins to death, and having unsupervised conversations with someone who may be a spy. Way to go.” Thia couldn’t keep the self-loathing out of her voice.

“No, Thia. You did what you needed to do to find your strength again. That’s all. We were watching you far too closely for all the wrong reasons. As to consorting with spies, I’m wondering if that’s not a bad idea.”

“What do you mean?”

Caelynn sat back, curling her legs up underneath her. Smiling over the rim of her goblet, she said, “He’s obviously interested in something, Thia. Something he can only get from you. Let’s invite him to come listen to me play, have dinner in the common room with you. We’ll work it out so you know it’s not an illusion. I may not have near the stores the rest of you do, but I can weave some magic into my music. We’ll sit you both near enough to the stage that I can pick up if he’s lying to you.”

“But what if I say something wrong? I’m not sure I didn’t earlier tonight. The way he reacted to Adam’s name, for example.”

“That’s nothing. The thing most don’t know is that no two warlocks have the same name. There never was, or ever will be, any other who uses that name. Adam told me it was part of the final ceremony granting them their full powers. They had to choose a new name; one no other warlock ever used. That way, if they screwed up in a big way, it was easy to know which one.” Caelynn put her drink on the table and rose. “I’m heading to bed, and suggest you do the same. Tomorrow, we start playing games with someone who has no idea what’s about to happen to him. By the time the men are back with Amara, we’ll know exactly who this Kasmin I’chal is and what he really wants in Almair.”

Thia stood up. “You really think we can pull that off?”

“He’s respectful of your power, which is good. But he’s shown that he has little knowledge of who or what I am. That’ll be his downfall.”

Thia turned and headed to her room. Pausing at the doorway, she looked back. “Caelynn?”

The pink haired woman stopped. “Yes?”

“Jinaari once told me there’s different kinds of family. The ones we were born into, and the ones we chose. I didn’t have a sister growing up. Would it bother you if I told people you and I were related?”

Caelynn smiled. “There’s nothing I’d like more.”