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When Carrie woke up the next morning, the first thing she noticed was how hot she was. It almost felt like she was running a fever. Just when she was about to sit up, though, the previous night came rushing back to her.
The party.
Richard.
Calling David.
Coming to David’s apartment.
Oh, God...the almost-kiss.
Then asking him to stay with her...
How the hell were they supposed to get past this? She was worried that things would be awkward between the two of them. Especially when part of her thought that he regretted how close they’d gotten the night before.
She was lying with her back against his chest and his arm wrapped around her waist, explaining how warm she felt. Her legs were also entangled between both of his. She thought that the best thing for her to do was to just move away from him and pretend this had never happened. It would be the only way to save face once he woke up and realized the position they were in.
But then she thought of the fact that this could very well be the only time she woke up in his arms. She didn’t want to move a single muscle. She just wanted to stay right there, memorize the way his body felt next to hers, the way his breath felt against the back of her neck, and the way that the considerable hard-on he was sporting felt against her lower back.
That last one was a must to remember.
After a few minutes of cherishing the position they were in, she decided to follow her initial instinct: put space between them so it wouldn’t be awkward when he woke up. She began to slowly wiggle out of his grip so she wouldn’t wake him up, but the hold he had on her kept tightening every time she moved even an inch away from him.
“Stop,” she heard him mumble from behind her.
She immediately froze. “Did I wake you up?” Stupid question, of course she woke him up. “I’ll just get up and make some coffee or something so you can go back to sleep,” she told him.
She started moving again to get out of his grip, but just a few seconds passed before his grip tightened on her hip again.
“Stop. Moving.”
She was embarrassed at how long it took her to realize what the issue was. Her ass was moving in a certain way over a very sensitive part of his body. Her face flamed red with her embarrassment as she froze again...What was she supposed to do now?
Just a few more moments passed before he groaned and turned so he was lying on his back. Once his arm was off her waist, she moved so there was about a foot of space between their bodies and turned so she was facing him. She propped her elbow on the pillow and rested her head on the palm of her hand as she looked at him guiltily.
“Sorry.” She bit her lip self-consciously.
“Don’t do that,” he groaned.
“What?” Her eyes widened at the sound of his voice. So rough and gravelly.
“Bite your lip like that. It’s really not helping my situation.” He motioned with his eyes towards his lap where a very impressive tent was perched under the sheets.
Her hand lifted automatically to cover her mouth as she mumbled another apology.
He gave her a crooked grin that set her stomach all aflutter. “It’s fine. It’s normally not so bad in the mornings.”
She wanted to ask what made it bad, whether it was really her and her proximity to him through the night, but she didn’t want to hear him deny that. It was best sometimes to live in her fantasy instead of reality.
He cleared his throat. “How’d you sleep?”
She sighed as she tried to get her thoughts away from the way that his lips had almost touched hers. “Good, I mean...after my...you know...” She hated how she was all of a sudden, talking like a love-struck middle school student who was having her first conversation with her crush. Add it to the already growing list of embarrassing things she’d done since she’d woken up not even ten minutes ago.
He took pity on her ramblings. “I’m glad I was able to help. So...what are your plans for the day?”
She had to think about it. “I made girls’ day plans with my friends to introduce Izzy to Asher and whatnot.”
His eyes sparkled with mischief. “Can I talk you into having breakfast with me before I take you back, at least?”
She was nodding her head before she could even think about it.
“Okay. Let me get dressed, and I’ll figure out what ingredients I have.”
She unashamedly watched his ass as he walked out of the room after grabbing a change of clothes. She may or may not have been biting her lip when he turned around and caught her staring. She quickly averted her eyes, but not before she heard a dark chuckle come from him and the door shutting behind him.
“Oh, God,” she moaned into her hands. She should’ve just stayed asleep.
~~~
DAVID DESERVED AN AWARD for his self-restraint. He wanted nothing more than to rip his clothes off of her and devour her body, but he had to force himself not to.
As he was undressing, he couldn’t help but remember the way her body had felt moving against his when he woke up. He nearly took hold of her hips and thrusted against her ass, but he didn’t.
The longer he was in her presence, the shorter his restraint became. He should’ve just told her to get dressed and then taken her back to her dorm, but he couldn’t help wanting to spend just a little more time with her. He rarely ever got complete alone time with her without John nearby.
The thought of his best friend, her brother, tempered some of the fire that was in him. He would certainly not appreciate where David’s thoughts were going. He’d vented to him multiple times throughout the years that he didn’t want Carrie to be with someone that had an arduous history with women—someone that didn’t take relationships seriously and David was clearly that person.
He hadn’t been in a serious relationship in... forever. He didn’t like the thought of being vulnerable in front of someone, giving someone your most cherished pieces and hoping that they didn’t walk all over your heart. He was pretty sure his mom didn’t think that David’s father would break her heart when they started dating, and look how that turned out. David may have had a great stepfather now, but that didn’t mean he didn’t remember all of the hard years before that. Back when he barely saw his mom due to all of her jobs and the way that she had cried when David’s father left them when he was only five years old.
Why would he willingly put himself in that position?
So he’d been with women in the most casual of circumstances. It wasn’t like he took advantage of them; they knew exactly what they were getting into when they got in bed with him. For a majority of them, all they wanted was to say that they had bagged one of Gaines University’s most elite hockey players anyway.
Once he saw Carrie again, though, things began to change for him. He felt something for her the moment his eyes met hers when she’d walked through his dorm room that first time. If he’d noticed before, he would have taken better care not to sleep through the women of G.U. He would’ve made sure that he was the kind of man she deserved because, if he knew one thing for certain, it was that he knew he was not that man. She deserved someone that was able to give her his full attention at any time and would put her first.
He wanted to punch whoever that was in the face.
All of that came down to one thing. He had to make sure that she understood nothing was going to happen between them...God, he didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but he didn’t see any other option.
~~~
ONCE CARRIE HEARD THE bathroom door open, she rushed out in the hallway so she could change out of her clothes. She hated that her only option was her slinky dress and thigh-high boots from last night, but it was better than wearing his clothing for the whole day. If she was surrounded by his scent for too much longer, she thought she would go crazy.
She folded his clothes and placed them on his bed before grabbing her boots and setting them by the door. Only then did she go into the kitchen where David was grilling up eggs, bacon, and hashbrowns for the two of them.
“That smells amazing,” she told him as she sat down at the little kitchenette that was in the middle of the room.
“Thanks. There’s coffee there if you want it,” he said while motioning towards the mug that was sitting in front of her. She was surprised when she took a sip, and it was exactly like she liked it.
Just enough sugar and cream that she couldn’t detect the taste of the bitter coffee.
Now, how did he know that was how she took it?
“Are you a mind reader or something? How’d you make it this perfect? Normally people make it too sugary or not with enough sugar,” she remarked.
He just shrugged his shoulders without meeting her gaze. “Just a guess.”
She narrowed her eyes but ultimately decided not to push him. It was nice thinking that he paid enough attention to her that he’d memorized her coffee order.
After he had set her plate down and sat in the seat next to her, he brought up the elephant in the room.
“I guess we should talk about last night...What happened before I left my room...”
She sighed. She would rather take her fork and stab her eyes out, but she knew that talking it over was the mature thing to do. Fuck being mature.
“I guess we should...”
He took a bite of eggs before starting. “I hope this won’t make things awkward between us.”
Her eyes widened as she shook her head diligently. “God, no. I don’t want that at all.”
“Good.” He seemed to smile to himself before it slowly disappeared. “No matter what we feel...nothing can happen. John would never forgive me for touching you. He would hate me forever.”
She felt saddened at his words, but she should’ve seen them coming. She knew how close David and John were. There was nothing important enough that could come between their friendship. She hated that she felt so dejected.
“I know.” She didn’t have much of an appetite now, but she forced herself to eat another bite just for something to do with her hands.
He set a hesitant hand over hers. “That doesn’t mean that I don’t want you, Carrie. I just know that I’m not the right guy for you, you deserve so much better than me.”
She looked him in the eyes as she spoke next. “What if I don’t want someone better?”
He closed his eyes as if he was in agony. “Don’t say that.”
“Why?” She was proud of how strong her voice was in the face of this heartache. “Why should my brother dictate what happens between us?”
He shook his head, crestfallen. “It’s not just John. You deserve someone that will give you their full attention. Someone that hasn’t been with a million girls and can make you feel special.”
“David, it doesn’t matter to me how many girls you’ve been with. I know that you would treat me well.” She put her hand to her heart to emphasize her words before continuing. “And I’m not the kind of girl that thinks you need to give her your full attention all the time. I can’t even do that right now...I have classes and homework that need to come first sometimes.”
He took his hand away from hers and looked back down at his plate. “That’s different.”
“David, I’m not going to force you into being with me, but I know what I felt last night. That moment meant something to me, and if you’re not ready to find out what we could be... then that sucks.” She couldn’t think of any better words to describe what was going on in her head. They were juvenile, but they were the truth.
She wanted him to change his mind, more than anything, but she could tell that it wasn’t going to happen. She needed to swallow her pride and accept that she couldn’t convince him otherwise. She would hold back the tears that wanted to fall until she was in the comfort of her bedroom and she could cry into her pillow like an adult.
“Okay, then,” she said into the quiet kitchen.
They finished off their plates less than ten minutes later. She went to the door to zip up her boots while David grabbed his truck keys from his bedroom. While she was alone, she gave herself a pep talk; yes they had almost kissed, but she didn’t want their friendship ruined by that simple act. She would rather have David in her life as a friend than not at all.
~~~
WHEN THEY WERE IN THE truck on their way back to her dorm, she finally pulled her phone out to turn it back on and check her messages. As expected, her phone began pinging with texts from Lex and Asher—they were both worried for her.
Asher: Where’d you go, girly?
Lex: What do you mean, you’re leaving with David?
Lex: David Clarke?
Asher: Lex just said you left with David. I hope you get some, girl!
Lex: Why aren’t you texting me back?
Lex: If you don’t respond I’m calling the police.
Lex: David let me in a little bit on what happened tonight. Call me or text me tomorrow, sweetie.
Asher: What the hell happened tonight? I’ll see you tomorrow for all of the deats...
Carrie looked at David. “Did you really call Lex and tell her what was going on?” She felt a warmth flash through her chest that he did something like that. It was such a simple thing, but it showed that he cared.
“I had a feeling you hadn’t texted her more than that time in the car, so I knew she would be freaking out. Since I didn’t want the police knocking on my door in the middle of the night, I let her know that you were with me and that you were safe.”
“Thanks,” she told him quietly. What she really wanted to do was jump over the console and devour his mouth with hers, but she thought that might have been a bit dangerous given he was driving.
The awkward tension surrounding them slowly dispersed the longer they drove. Things began to go back to feeling normal between them for which Carrie was grateful. By the time they were pulling up to her dorm, they were laughing and throwing jokes back and forth at each other’s expense.
As she was just about to say goodbye to him and jump out of the truck, a serious look came over him, and he placed a hand over her thigh to stop her from leaving. She swallowed back her gasp as she stared at him and waited for him to say something.
“Don’t go to any more parties. I can’t handle the thought of something happening to you.”
She knew that she should’ve fought back, but she was pretty sure that parties were going to be off the table for the foreseeable future anyway, so what was the point? And if it helped alleviate some of his fears then all the better, right?
“I won’t,” she promised.
He sighed in relief. “Text me if anything happens, okay? No matter the time I’ll be there for you.”
This time it was her that placed her hand over his that was still lying on her thigh. She squeezed it reassuringly.
“I will.”
~~~
LEX AND ASHER WERE both waiting for her in the dorm’s living room. They were shocked when they heard what had happened and were quick to dote over her and make sure that she was okay. She had to reassure them a thousand times that she was fine and that Richard hadn’t really had the chance to do more harm to her. They wanted her to go to the campus police, but Carrie knew that they wouldn’t really have anything to go on. She would rather put it behind her than relive the moment over and over again for complete strangers.
Lex felt awful when she realized that Carrie had put herself in that position for her.
“You should have told me that you weren’t comfortable.” She put her hands on Carrie’s shoulders to make sure that she understood how serious she was. “Never think that a man is more important to me than you are. You’re my best friend. You and Asher.” She added the last part when Asher jokingly gasped. The three of them laughed together, but Lex was quick to sober up and give Carrie a stern look.
“I know. It won’t happen again.”
That was for sure.