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“You’re sure you’re still up to this?” Lex asked her for the millionth time as Carrie was getting ready for the day.
She was running a brush through her hair but set it down on the bathroom counter to give Lex a tough look.
“Yes, I’m sure, and I’ll be sure in ten minutes. I’m not going to break down, okay? You don’t have to keep checking up on me,” she assured her. Carrie knew that she was just trying to be a good friend, but after the umpteenth time of being asked if you were okay, any sane woman would break. She also knew that some of this concern was coming from a place of guilt. Lex felt horrible that she wasn’t there for her friend and, despite Carrie’s attempts at reassuring her countless times that she wasn’t mad, she was pretty certain that Lex hadn’t listened to her. That thought was the only thing that helped soften Carrie toward her friend.
If anyone needed a girls' day that was full of pampering it was Lex. Carrie was for sure not going to bow out because then neither of her friends would go and they would spend the day hovering over her, making sure that she was okay. That was seriously the last thing she wanted, right below cutting her own leg off.
“Let’s go,” Carrie told her, giving herself a cursory glance in the mirror to make sure she looked okay.
Lex still looked a little unsure, but eventually, she nodded her head and followed Carrie towards the front door where their purses were.
“You never did tell me about what happened when you went to David’s. Was it weird?” Lex asked her as they walked into the hall. Asher was leaning against one of the walls and immediately leaned into their conversation.
“Did you ever figure out the answer to the question we all want to know? Is David Clarke really amazing in bed?”
She rolled her eyes, but couldn’t stop a large smile from forming on her lips. Just the thought of what had happened last night between the two of them made her whole body tingle with anticipation.
“We didn’t sleep together.” She felt her cheeks heat up as she thought of how close they’d come to doing that exact thing. Lex and Asher must’ve seen something in her expression because they stopped in the middle of the staircase.
“But...did something happen?” Lex asked carefully as if she was scared of setting Carrie off.
She hesitated, but overall she knew that she was going to tell them. She didn’t keep anything from her friends.
“We almost kissed,” she said with just a hint of glee in her voice.
“You did? Tell us everything!” Asher demanded excitedly.
And so Carrie did. On the way to the coffee shop they were meeting Izzy at, she told them of how she had almost tripped, and he pulled her to his chest before he’d looked at her like he’d wanted to devour her. She even recounted when he pulled away and left her alone in his room.
“And then when I had a nightmare later, he stayed with me. The entire night.”
Asher fanned himself with his hand. “Wow. Now I’m jealous of you, bitch. You’ve experienced the one thing I’ve always wanted to do. Damn, that man is something.”
“He sure is,” she mumbled to herself as they arrived at the campus coffee shop. She could see Izzy sitting at a table kind of towards the middle of the room.
“Would you have gone through with it if he hadn’t stopped?” Lex asked her as they entered. Carrie threw a wave to Izzy before the three of them got in line to order their drinks.
“Definitely.”
“Do you think things are going to change between you guys now?”
Carrie thought about it but ultimately knew the answer. David had been adamant about it, so adamant that she couldn’t possibly misunderstand what he wanted.
“No. He doesn’t think he’s a good enough guy for me and, even if that weren’t the case, he’s too scared of my brother to do anything about his feelings. He doesn’t want to risk their friendship, and I can’t ask him to do that.” It sucked, but it was the truth.
The two of them were disappointed but could tell by the look on her face that she didn’t want to keep talking about it. Today was all about forgetting their troubles. It was time for her to start trying.
~~~
IT WAS A PERFECT SATURDAY for pampering themselves. After introducing Izzy to Asher—who immediately hit it off with her—they went down to the spa for treatments. Carrie had a fresh mani/pedi and, because of Lex’s insistence, had a Brazilian wax which hurt like a bitch. She began to think of ways to get back at Lex for putting her through that without at least forewarning her of how much it would hurt.
She left feeling five pounds lighter than when she had entered. They decided on a local diner, which just so happened to be the one that John’s girlfriend worked at.
Carrie was pleased to find Taylor behind the counter when they walked in. She remembered John telling her about Taylor lessening her hours and had worried that she wouldn’t be able to see her. Since the semester started, she hadn’t seen much of her newest group of friends. All she had was the group text thread that the four of them were on.
“Hey, Carrie. How are you doing?” Taylor asked her when they took their seats at the counter.
“Good, good. What’s new with you? How’s Christopher doing?” She missed that little guy. She knew that she would have to make plans to go see him over the next weekend. She had a feeling that he was going to become family, so she needed to make sure that she spoiled him like a good aunt was supposed to.
“I just finished signing up for my winter classes, so I’m getting pretty excited about that,” she told her with a large smile. “Christopher is loving having me home, especially over the summer. He loves our new house and keeps begging for a dog, but John and I both keep putting that conversation off. I think John’s wanting to do a big old barbecue next weekend. Why don’t you come? The whole group is going to make it... even David.” She lifted her eyebrows suggestively at his name (the girls had found out her little crush on him just before the summer hit, and they were continuously telling her to tell him how she felt). “You guys can come too.” She looked at Asher, Izzy, and Lex, giving them an inviting smile.
“Sounds like fun, but I’m going up to see my family next weekend,” Asher told them, frowning.
“Knowing me I’m going to have a lot of homework to catch up on... like usual,” Lex said with a wry smile.
They all looked at Izzy who shook her head. “I see enough of my brother as it is.”
“Oh, that’s right,” Taylor said. “Jace is your brother?”
“Yup, as of today he is, anyway.” Carrie could tell by the mischievous look in her eyes that she wasn’t as against her brother as she was making it out to be. From the few stories that Carrie had heard, she could tell that the two of them were pretty close. Carrie knew from her own experience with John that brothers could annoy the living daylights out of you sometimes.
“Carrie, you’ll be there, right?” Taylor asked her.
Carrie sighed but knew that she wasn’t possibly going to turn down seeing David again.
“I’ll be there. Text me the details.”
She just had to hope that she and David wouldn’t inadvertently give away what had happened yesterday. The last thing she wanted was her brother knowing about her almost being attacked and then the almost-kiss that David and she had shared.
~~~
OVER THE NEXT FEW DAYS, David couldn’t get his mind off Carrie. He worried about her and how she was dealing with the aftermath of the attack. He knew he should’ve resisted, but he couldn’t help but drive to the university to see her. He had to know that she was okay.
Since classes were over, he went straight to her dorm, and a freshman let him in. He’d memorized her dorm building and the number of her room when he’d dropped her off the other day, so he went directly there, ignoring the looks girls were sending his way.
He knew he should’ve texted her to tell her he was coming, but part of him was worried that she would tell him no. He wasn’t sure if he couldn’t handle hearing that.
He knocked on the door, holding his breath as he waited for her to open it. As the seconds dragged on, he couldn’t help but feel like a preteen kid with his first crush. Before he could think about that for too long, the door opened, and Carrie’s gorgeous brown eyes met his.
“What are you doing here?” she asked him.
“I had to come check on you.”
Something softened in her expression, and she held the door wider so he could step into her dorm. He was relieved to see that Lex wasn’t there.
He turned back to her. “How are you doing?”
She gave him a small smile. “I’m okay. Lex and Asher have helped me put it behind me. Is that the only reason you’re here?” He could see hope in her eyes, but he knew he wasn’t what she was hoping for.
He’d thought that he’d just needed to check up on her, but as he stood in front of her, he knew he needed more. He couldn’t leave this blatant wanting between the two of them.
That didn’t mean he had to act on his impulses.
“I just wanted to check on you,” he repeated. The words sounded false to his own ears.
She gave him a small smile as she tried to hide the disappointment that was in her eyes, but he knew her too well. She couldn’t hide from him.
She stepped around him to head to the door, but when she tried to brush past him, his hand shot out on impulse and grabbed her wrist. It was a light hold—she could’ve easily tugged her wrist from his grip—but she didn’t. She gave him a questioning look.
“What’s going on, David?”
He tried to think of John and the way he would look at him if it ever came to light that he kissed his sister, but he suddenly couldn’t recall why that mattered. At this moment, nothing mattered but Carrie.
He turned around and pulled her closer to his body, lifting his hands up to frame her face. He drowned in her chocolate-brown gaze.
“I don’t think I can go another second without kissing you.” He wanted to give her a fair and clear warning of what he wanted, that way, if she didn’t want the same thing, she had plenty of time to push him away. But that was the opposite of what she actually did.
“Me neither,” she whispered.
He slowly leaned down until they were so close he could count her eyelashes and hesitated as he tried to remember the reasons he shouldn’t be doing this. She apparently couldn’t handle his hesitation. She threw her hands around his neck and intertwined them in his hair. Before he knew what was happening, she was pulling him down and crashing her lips against his.
Nothing could compare to the feeling of her mouth against his. It was euphoria in its purest form. Neither of their hands drifted past their shoulders, but he took the opportunity to wind his hands through her hair like he’d wanted to do ever since he could remember.
He pulled her body close to his so he could feel every inch of her against his skin. He wanted nothing more than to shed their clothes, but he knew they weren’t ready for that.
The kiss lasted seconds or hours, he couldn’t tell, but when he finally pulled away from her, he felt like he’d just run a marathon. His heart was beating fast, and his chest was moving up and down with his quickened breaths. As he looked down at her bright eyes, he knew that he may have just made a huge mistake, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to care.
~~~
OVER THE NEXT WEEK, David felt horrible every time he talked to or saw his best friend. John had a right to know what happened with his little sister, but he knew that she wouldn’t want him to know. And David really didn’t want him to know about how he had made out with his sister just a few hours after she had been attacked. It wasn’t his finest moment, but he didn’t regret it. Not one bit.
When he heard that Carrie was going to be coming to the barbecue that weekend, he almost turned down the invitation, thinking that he could make up a work emergency. But just when he was about to pick up the phone, he realized how cowardly a move like that would be. He couldn’t go the rest of his life without seeing Carrie just because his body felt so unlike his own when she was around. He just had to put in a lot of effort to make sure that John didn’t suspect anything was going on between them.
He spent the entire week making sure that Mr. Mitchell had everything he could ever need. He was still a little unsure if this was the path he wanted to take in life, but that didn’t mean he was going to start slacking on his job. He made sure all of the legal documents were printed, signed, and sorted just the way Mitchell liked them.
When he woke up the morning of the barbecue, he was careful in taking care of his appearance. He showered, shaved, and took time to make sure his outfit matched. He picked a warm brown sweater, pushed his sleeves up to his elbows, and then paired it with a dark pair of jeans. Since it was an unseasonably warm day, he knew that he wouldn’t need to bring his jacket with him. He even ran his hands through his hair a few times before he realized what he was doing.
Fucking hell, he thought to himself. He was acting like a middle schooler with his first crush. It shouldn’t matter to him what Carrie thought of him. Nothing could happen between them... no matter how much he wished differently.
When he pulled up to John’s new place, he parked behind Carrie’s car. Here we go, he thought to himself. He pulled down his visor and tried to practice looking neutral, but he just kept looking like he needed to use the restroom. He shook his head at himself before he stepped out of his truck and walked up the pathway that led to John’s front door, letting himself in.
He had to say that he was pretty proud of his best friend. He had the girl, an amazing little kid, and a loving home. He had the whole package, and sometimes David wondered if he even knew that.
“I’m here. The party can start now!” David called out as he walked through the house. Taylor and Carrie were lounging in chairs out on the deck while Christopher was playing with a soccer ball and John was flipping burgers.
“Good on you for making it. The others should be here soon,” John told him.
“Anything I can do?” David offered right before Christopher came running to him with the ball.
“David, can you play a game with me?”
David looked at John to make sure that he didn’t need him, but he just waved his concern away. “I’ve got it handled. Keep the little man entertained.”
As he followed Christopher off the deck, he passed the girls. He leaned down and gave Taylor a quick hug and laid a hand on Carrie’s shoulder in greeting. It was supposed to be a small gesture, but when his fingers glazed over a small amount of skin that was showing through her tank top, he felt a stupid shiver run up his spine. He was quick to pull his hand away from her as if she burned him. He knew that John hadn’t seen anything, but by the playful look in Taylor’s eyes, he could tell that she suspected something from that short interaction. He was quick to leave them before running after Christopher and getting lost in a small game of soccer.
~~~
PART OF CARRIE HADN’T wanted to tell Taylor and the girls what had happened between her and David, but she was naive if she thought that they wouldn’t notice the way that they kept glancing at each other. The way that he had touched her when he got there hadn’t helped matters. She saw Taylor’s eyes light up, but she didn’t bring it up until the rest of the guests were there, so there was less of a chance for John to overhear them.
As the meat cooked on the grill, the guys were all tossing the ball back and forth while the girls were sitting around the table, nursing their drinks.
“So, what’s going on between you and David?” Taylor asked with a playful look in her eyes.
“Yeah, don’t think that we haven’t missed all the heavy looks that the two of you have shared. If it was possible, you would be on fire with how you’re looking at each other,” Rory told them. She was dating Izzy’s brother, Jace, and Carrie loved her. She always said what was on her mind, which Carrie admired her for.
“Did you two finally do the nasty?” Luna asked jokingly. Luna had been dating Simon, the last of the four guys, for almost four years now. The two of them reminded Carrie of an old married couple in the best way.
“No,” Carrie said with an eye-roll, but when she caught David’s eye again, she couldn’t help but add, “But we did kiss, though.”
The three girls gasped in unison.
“What? When did this happen?” Rory asked in disbelief.
Carrie gave them a small summary of what had happened a few days before, from everything with Richard to when David had dropped her back off at her dorm and then when he’d come back to check on her. They were all so wide-eyed by the end of her tale that she was pretty sure one of their eyes would pop out of their head. Their jaws were close to touching the table. It was safe to say that they were surprised.
Taylor was the first one to speak. “I’m so sorry that happened to you. Are you sure that you don’t want to go to the campus police or even the real police? It’s not too late.”
Carrie shook her head. “No, I’m fine. It’s done and over with. I don’t plan on going to a party any time soon, so I shouldn’t be running into that guy for a long time.”
“Are you sure that you two aren’t going to be able to work something out?” Luna asked her while looking back and forth between her and David.
Carrie shook her head again. “The biggest obstacle is John.” She gave Taylor an apologetic look before continuing. “David doesn’t want to ruin his friendship with him, and he’s pretty certain that if we pursue a relationship, it will hurt the two of them, and I can’t really blame him for that.”
Taylor shook her head while eyeing John from across the yard. “It’s stupid to let that fear get in the way of a relationship though. John would get over it. I don’t think he would let either of your relationships go just because he doesn’t approve of something happening between you two.”
“You think so?” Carrie asked her, stupid hope clawing up her chest at the thought that John wouldn’t hold it against her.
Taylor nodded her head. “You two mean a lot to him. There’s no way he’s dumb enough to ruin that.”
Carrie was quick to change the subject before she could suffocate from the hope that she was clinging to. She listened to them talk about their jobs and was able to forget, even for a little bit, about the possibility of her and David.
Hope could be a dangerous thing.
~~~
THE BARBECUE LASTED almost three hours before the group dispersed. David walked her to her car as she was leaving.
“Is it safe to say that the girls know something’s up between us?” he asked her with a crooked grin.
She gave him a sheepish smile. “Yeah. They—especially Taylor—suspected something since you got there.”
He sighed. “I overestimated how difficult it would be to be around you and not be able to touch you like I want to.”
They were by her car now, and she leaned against it, looking at him through her eyelashes.
“You want to touch me?”
He groaned softly. “You have no idea how much.”
She knew that she shouldn’t ask, but the words were out of her mouth before she could stop them. “Tell me then. What do you want to do to me?” With the way his eyes darkened, she could tell that he enjoyed her words.
“If we weren’t outside your brother’s house right now, I would definitely kiss you. I’d slide my hands all over your soft skin.” He stepped closer so their feet were just an inch apart, not touching her even though her body begged for him. She knew that if their skin grazed each other, the game would be over. “I would kiss the spot right behind your ear that I know is extra sensitive. When I have you panting for release, I’d slide my hands down your jeans where I would find you wet for me. Hm?”
She swallowed and let out a small gasp before giving him a nod. She’d never been so turned on by someone’s words before. They kept eye contact for a minute before he dragged his eyes away from her and backed up a few steps.
“You should go, Carrie.” She could hear how close he was to losing his self-restraint in his voice.
She wanted to fight him and show him how good they could be together, but this wasn’t the place. She made a promise to herself then and there that she wouldn’t let him walk away next time. Next time, she would show him just how good she could make him feel.