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Flames licked the ceiling.
“Damn dog is up on a ladder.” Ada didn’t move from her position leaning against the wall because she didn’t want to wrinkle her dress. She had to take it back when this performance was over.
“It’s from the peanut butter sandwich.” Silas grabbed the Irish setter by her elegant hindquarters and lifted her down to the floor. “Bad girl, Flames!”
Flames licked her lips and looked back at the ceiling.
“What about the ceiling?” Ada asked. “That’s the kind of memorable detail we’re trying to avoid.”
Ada snapped her fingers, and Flames trotted over. She swabbed at the dog’s muzzle with a wet wipe. Burgundy-red dog hair and peanut butter. “Who’s my favorite circus freak?”
Flames flopped down on the floor and gave her a mournful look. Mournful was her best look. It meant guilty or hungry or sad or clever. It was a multi-purpose look.
Silas clambered up the ladder and wiped a smear of peanut butter off the acoustic tiles. Peanut butter glistened on the top step, and he wiped that, too. He folded up the ladder and stuck it next to the fridge.
“Jasper didn’t like the plan?” Ada pointed to the wet spot on the ceiling. Like a toddler, Jasper threw things when he got angry.
“He never likes the plan.” Silas took a jar of peanut butter off the top of the fridge and dug out a spoonful.
“It’s a terrible plan.” A man in a rust-red jacket came into the dinky kitchen. “They always are.”
“But the performances always work,” Ada reminded him.
“Smash and grab,” Jasper said. “In and out in less than a minute. Wear a mask. Simple. No plan needed. You’re turning this into work.”
Ada twirled a diamond ring around on her thumb. Good quality, worth more than a new car. “I should really get this resized, wear it on my ring finger like a real married lady.”
“Which you’re not,” Silas said. “Not even close.”
Jasper shot his brother a warning glance.
“Maybe I ought to train Flames to work for the circus,” she said. “She can climb up the ladder to a trapeze and hang on by her teeth. One of us ought to break into show business.”
“Maybe we ought to stick to this plan,” Silas said.
“It’s not even her best trick.” She straightened the ring. She was only woman she knew whose only piece of jewelry was a thumb ring.
“We’re coming up on three o’clock, when everyone’s tired and dopey.” Silas came to stand next to her, and Flames perked up. Silas held the spoon down near the floor where Flames licked it.
“Peanut butter isn’t good for dogs.” Jasper kicked at the spoon, but Silas pulled it away. “It can kill them.”
“That’s chocolate,” she said. This was why she was still single. The cute one didn’t know anything.
“Chocolate has theobromine.” Silas moved the spoon back into Flames’ licking range. “Dogs can’t metabolize it like we do.”
And the other one only knew useless stuff.
“It’s almost three.” Ada stood and straightened her skirt. Both men took a long look at her ass. That’s what the dress was designed for, so it was good to see it working. “You have the fake Blanchett?”
Jasper patted his pants pocket.
“Here I thought you were happy to see me,” she said.
“Hey!” he said. “My real jewels are much bigger.”
“I’m guessing one carat. Maybe two,” Ada said.
Silas laughed.
Ada fluffed her wig and headed toward the door. She wasn’t going to miss this dumpy apartment. It smelled like peanut butter and testosterone and everything was beige, as if the good colors had fled.
The men fell in behind her, like they were supposed to do. Flames walked next to Silas. Silas was the planner—he had the connections and did the research. She trained the dog. All three put on the performance, four if you counted Flames.
Nobody said anything on the way to Tiffany’s. Silas and Flames got out of the car a block away. In the rearview mirror she watched Flames pee on a stroller. A young woman in a floppy purple hat waved her arms at him. Another memorable moment.
“I’ll park around the corner,” Jasper said. “The surveillance camera there doesn’t work.”
She slipped on a pair of oversized sunglasses. They made her look like Audrey Hepburn. Red lips, giant sunglasses, and a round ass. In Los Angeles, that described everyone. “How do you know it doesn’t work?”
“It’s not hooked up to anything. It’s just stuck on there. It’s not real.”
“Like fake boobs.”
“Those are real enough for me.” Jasper tucked their black SUV in between two other black SUVs. Triplets.
She flipped down the visor, fluffed her black wig, and put on another layer of Dior 999. The color popped against her pale skin. If she pouted those red lips, nobody’d remember what her face looked like even without the glasses.
Jasper had a chocolate-brown shirt under his jacket, teamed up with ridiculous facial hair he’d grown for the occasion, and a set of round hipster glasses. He looked like a producer. Handsome, fit, and hungry.
She wriggled out of the car, straightened her dress, punched Jasper on the shoulder for ogling, and walked back to Tiffany’s.
“How’s that song go?” she asked. “The one about the store?”
“What about Breakfast at Tiffany’s?” Jasper sang the title. He’d caught the tune, and she took hold of his arm. Good muscle tone under the shirt.
“Do they even serve breakfast?” he asked.
“They do not.” She dug her fingernails a little into his arm. “That’s the point of the movie.”
“There’s a movie to go with the song?”
“The movie came first, then the song came along thirty years later.” A little more than thirty years. Silas would know exactly, but he had the dog.
“You’re telling me we won’t get breakfast?”
“Ha ha.” She pushed him a little ahead of her.
He opened the door with a flourish. “Your majesty.”
She pouted her lips and sashayed inside. Chilled to a refined temperature and rich with the scent of Eau de Parfum, five minutes in here was better than breakfast. Jasper closed the door, and the street noise dropped away. The kind of silence only money can buy filled the space.
“We’re here to get my mother’s ring resized,” she told Jasper with a flirtatious smile. “Nothing else.”
“Maybe,” he said with an impish smile she hadn’t seen before but decided she quite liked. “Maybe not.”
She minced up to the counter and bent over a glass case to better flaunt her nice round assets. The man behind the counter looked where he was supposed to. Jasper fidgeted with his pocket, and she wanted to slap him.
“May I help you?” The man sounded as British as Mary Poppins holding a bag of scones. “My name is Nigel.”
“I’m Tiffany,” she said. “Like your store.”
Then she let out a high-pitched giggle she’d been working on.
Nigel smiled. He had perfect teeth, which wasn’t supposed to be a British trait, although Julie Andrews had great teeth.
“I came to get this resized to my finger,” she said. “My mother left it to me.”
Jasper touched her arm gently, like he was sad about her fictional dead mother. Her real mother wasn’t dead, just dead to her, which frankly ought to entitle her to more sympathy.
“If it’s a Tiffany’s product, we’d love to help you.” Nigel’s friendly smile had been replaced by an I’m-so-sorry-for-your-loss-and-hopefully-I-can-make-money-off-it expression. It was a pretty common expression in Los Angeles.
“My mother always told me my father bought it here when I was just a twinkle in my father’s eye. Like this diamond.” She held out the ring in the palm of her hand, and the man’s eyes went right for it.
He took it and examined it with a little jeweler’s loupe he stuck in his eye like a monocle. “It’s a fine stone, but I’m sure you know that.”
“I surely do, Nigel.” She gave Jasper a meaningful look. “My father would never get my mother anything less than the best.”
“Maybe we should get you something to match it,” Jasper said. “Something from me.”
Nigel tamped down a quick smile. They did look like easy pickings.
“The ring is not from Tiffany’s.” Nigel smiled. “But we could make an exception for you.”
“Could you?” She pouted again and took the ring and put it back on her thumb. “First, let’s see what my honey wants me to have.”
Jasper pointed to the most expensive piece on display. A necklace that dripped with lines of diamonds.
“That’s a very expensive piece, sir.” Nigel didn’t take it out.
People weren’t trusting these days. It must be the economy.
Jasper pulled out a black American Express card and set it down on the glass right above the necklace. It wasn’t real, but Nigel didn’t know, and his smile kicked up a megawatt.
Nigel unlocked the cabinet and took out the necklace with hands a reverent as if he were touching the Holy Grail.
Jasper took the necklace from him and fastened it around her neck. It felt ice-cold against her warm skin. She turned her head from side to side, watching rainbows spark out of the necklace.
“It’s nice,” she said. If she’d brought gum, she would have blown a bubble to show how bored she was.
“Do you have anything from a movie?” Jasper said. “Or something that’s been on TV?”
She took a deep breath and stroked a line of diamonds with one finger, pulling the finger down her chest and ending the movement between her breasts. She had to keep Nigel off guard, because Jasper was rushing. This should be a strip tease, with the reveal of one slow piece at a time.
“We do have a ring worn by Cate Blanchett at the Oscars.” Nigel jumped right to the climax. Probably a premature ejaculator, too.
“A ring?” She looked over at Jasper, as if challenging him. Was their imaginary relationship ready for a ring? Nigel fidgeted, waiting for Jasper’s answer.
“Maybe a friendship ring,” Jasper said.
“I’d love to see it.” She put a little throaty longing into her voice. “But just to look at.”
Jasper slid the glittery necklace off and gave it back. The heat of her skin had already warmed it, and she was sorry to see it go. Breakfast at Tiffany’s ran through her head. The song was about a breakup. Or maybe an almost-breakup.
Nigel took the necklace and carefully locked it up again, then disappeared in the back of the store. They kept Blanchett’s ring stored in a safe there. Silas had researched it carefully after they took the commission.
Tilting his face away from the camera, Jasper leaned in close and kissed the side of her neck. Her skin tingled under his lips.
“Slow it down,” she whispered. “You’re too eager.”
“I’m always eager.”
She tilted her neck to let him kiss it again because it wouldn’t do to have a fight with a man ready to buy her such an expensive ring. Then another kiss because the last two felt so good and there was nothing wrong with enjoying your job. It gave the act a veneer of realism. Jasper moved around toward her lips, and she closed her eyes in anticipation.
Nigel cleared his throat. He stood in front of them with Cate Blanchett’s ring. The piece was valued at over four million dollars. They’d only get a quarter to split three ways, but her breath still caught in her throat when Jasper slipped it on her ring finger. It was a little loose, as Silas had predicted.
“It suits you,” Jasper said. “Beautiful and elegant.”
The diamond reached from the base of her finger up to her first knuckle. It was an emerald cut, rectangular like a movie screen. Silas had said the glittering diamond was 20 carats. Divided into wedding rings, it would create one for every girl in her graduating class. But put together it made a glittering treasure fit for a queen of Hollywood. The kind of ring she’d always hoped to wear for real one day.
Like Cate Blanchett, she stepped onto her mark and played her role. She held her hand up in the air like the pope, and Jasper took her hand in his and kissed her knuckle. She giggled and shrugged her shoulders together to draw attention to her cleavage and keep Nigel distracted.
The door opened and brought with it the sound of traffic and the click of a dog’s toenails against marble. She wouldn’t have minded if Silas had waited another few minutes. After all her rehearsal, this was her big scene.
Nigel tore his eyes away from her chest. “We don’t allow dogs in here, sir.”
She caressed the top of the diamond with the pad of her thumb. These were the last seconds she would be touching something Cate Blanchett had touched. Soon, her connection to the world of Hollywood royalty would be severed.
“She needs to get out of the heat for a second.” Silas always looked so harmless. He never put people on guard. “She’s an old dog, and when the temperature goes up, she gets dizzy.”
“I’m sorry.” Nigel glanced back at Ada’s hand, clearly making sure the ring was still there. “But you’ll have to go.”
Keeping her other hand hidden from Nigel’s view and from the surveillance camera, she swiveled her index finger in a circle.
Flames launched herself across the room in a streak of mahogany red. Her forepaws landed on Ada’s chest, and they both went down to the floor, landing in the only blind spot in the room. Silas had calculated it to the inch, and she and Flames had hit their mark perfectly.
“Good girl,” she whispered.
Jasper dropped to his knees next to her. One knee cracked against the marble. That would leave a mark on his perfect, tan knee.
The ring slipped off her finger and one warmed in Jasper’s pocket replaced it. Even though they’d practiced the move a hundred times, she was impressed by how quickly Jasper managed it. Clever hands.
“Get this thing off me!” Her voice quivered with fear. “Bad dog!”
Flames whimpered, and her giant brown eyes looked disappointed. She’d have to make it up to her later.
“Come here, Flames,” Silas called.
As usual, Flames ignored him.
Together, Nigel and Jasper pulled the dog off. Jasper helped her up and straightened her dress. Hopefully it wasn’t damaged enough that she couldn’t return it. It had cost $927. Not that it mattered. With this score she could buy all the dresses she wanted.
“I’m so sorry.” Silas put on his goofy grin. “Are you OK, miss?”
“I’m not.” She smoothed her dress and touched the ring like she wasn’t sure it would still be there.
“I’d thank you to leave the store.” Nigel sounded commanding and stern. Mary Poppins had gotten angry.
Silas held open the door and called, “out!”
Flames shot out the door, and Silas went after her. Never a problem with that dog. She would give her a special treat when they got home.
“I’m so sorry this happened,” said Nigel. “Are you all right, madam?”
“Do you need anything?” Jasper asked at the same time. He ran his hands up and down her cold arms. That wasn’t in the script, but she let him do it anyway. It looked authentic enough, and it felt good.
“I need to go home.” She quivered her lower lip. “My head hurts, and I smell like dog.”
“You don’t,” Jasper said. “You smell wonderful.”
They turned to go.
“The ring,” Nigel said.
She took off the ring and handed it to Nigel.
“We can’t buy it now,” she said. “This occasion is ruined.”
She looked at the ring and did another lip quiver. The ring looked gorgeous. It was practically identical to the one Nigel had originally handed them, except this one had never touched Cate Blanchett, and also the diamonds weren’t real. Ada wouldn’t have minded keeping it. It would look good with her thumb ring.
Jasper put an arm around her shoulders, and she leaned against him. The ring in his pocket pressed hard against her thigh.
“Was that a pit bull?” she asked. “My neck hurts.”
“It wasn’t a pit bull, madam,” Nigel said. He probably worried she’d sue him.
“Maybe it was,” Jasper said. “It all happened so fast.”
“Are you hurt?” Nigel asked again. “Is there anything I can do?”
She shook her head and started toward the door. Jasper fell into step next to her. This was the hardest part of the dance. The last steps.
They walked out of the store together. She didn’t let go of Jasper until they got to the car. Silas and Flames had probably already taken an Uber to the pick up point.
Jasper opened the car door for her.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
Jasper always said ‘thank you’ at the end of a heist. It was one of the endearing things about him.
She slid across the warm leather. Her index finger spun the ring around on her thumb as she waited for the air conditioning to kick in.
“Do you trust Silas?” She asked as Jasper pulled away from the curb.
“We’ve done jobs before,” he said. “He’s never let me down.”
“Good.” She’d planted a seed. She might not ever need to harvest it, but then again she might.
“Is your heart racing like mine?” she asked.
Jasper took her hand and held it against his chest. His heart felt like it was trying to jump out of his body.
“We did it,” she said.
“We did it.” He grinned.
She turned on the radio and blasted it.
She and Jasper sang at the top of their lungs. They were both giddy from the heist, drunk on adrenaline and their future wealth.
Jasper took the long way back, heading across town and onto the freeway and looping back. She suddenly missed Flames. She’d yelled at the poor old girl, called her a bad dog.
Silas waited for them at the apartment. Flames came up with her head low, wagging her tail.
“You’re the best dog in the whole world!” Ada ruffled her ears and patted down her long russet back. “Good girl!”
Flames perked up and wagged her feathery tail.
“Good girl, indeed,” Silas said. “That was great!”
He grabbed her into an clumsy hug, then pulled Jasper in, too. It was an awkward three-way moment, but they were all grinning like idiots, and she didn’t mind. She snuggled in close, angling her body so Jasper got the benefit of her cleavage and she got some contact with his family jewels. Silas eventually stepped away, and their arms dropped.
He and Jasper started talking over the heist beginning to end, words tumbling in and out and over each other.
She sauntered to the fridge and took down the peanut butter jar. She scooped out a handful and let Flames lick it off her fingers.
“Good girl,” she said.
Flames swallowed awkwardly, then licked the last of the peanut butter off her fingers.
“That’s gross,” Silas said. “Now we can’t eat it.”
“We’re going out tonight. My treat,” she said. “So we weren’t going to eat it anyway.”
She crossed to the sink and washed her hands twice.
“I’ll take the ring,” Silas said to Jasper. “I’ll get it to the buyer, and we’ll meet back here tomorrow as planned.”
“I want to go with you,” she called over her shoulder, drying her hands.
“Don’t you trust me?” Silas asked.
Before she could answer, Jasper let out a moan that sounded like Flames when she’d delivered her first and only set of puppies. Trembling, Flames crowded up against Ada’s bare leg.
Trouble.
“What?” Silas asked. “What?”
“It’s not there.” Jasper’s words came out high and squeaky. “The ring’s not there.”
A cold pit formed in her stomach. She squared her shoulders and took in a breath, deep down into her diaphragm like she’d been taught in acting school. A calming breath.
“Check your other pocket,” she ordered.
Jasper turned out both pockets. A piece of blue lint drifted to the floor.
Color drained from Silas’s face. “You lost it?”
“I didn’t lose it,” Jasper said. “I had it when I got in the car, right?”
He looked to Ada for confirmation.
“I don’t know,” she said. “You took it off my finger. That was the last time I touched it.”
“You two did something with it when you were in the car.” Silas reached behind his back.
“Is the ring in there?” she asked. “Do you have it?”
Silas pulled out a gun. Its barrel was the biggest thing in the room, a giant gaping mouth ready to silence them all.
“Hey,” Jasper put up his empty hands. “Hey.”
“I put a tracker on your car, you know.” Silas kept the gun pointed at the two of them.
She pointed to the ground, and Flames lay down. She didn’t want the dog to get hurt.
“You what?” Jasper asked. “You didn’t trust us?”
“This is why I didn’t trust you.” Silas wasn’t the soft intellectual she’d grown used to. She would have to be careful.
“Good.” She put steel in her voice, to match the gun. “Download it. We didn’t stop anywhere.”
“We didn’t.” Jasper glared at Silas.
“So, the ring could be any number of places,” Silas said. “Somewhere between the store and the car or in the car itself. I watched you walk up so you didn’t leave it in the parking lot. We’ve all been in this room, so you couldn’t have stashed it here. Or maybe it’s on one of you.”
The gun jumped and settled as he thought through each alternative.
“Or I just lost it,” Jasper said.
That didn’t sound convincing.
“Or you have it, Silas,” she pointed out.
“I was going to have it anyway. Why would I make a big deal about you stealing it? Why wouldn’t I just take it and get the money and disappear?”
She could come up with reasons, but none that wouldn’t panic Jasper.
“Fine,” she said. “I’ll search Jasper.”
She took off Jasper’s jacket, felt the sleeves and the back and the hems. If the ring was in there, she’d be able to feel it. She made sure she wasn’t between the two men, then tossed the jacket at Silas’s feet, but he didn’t bend to pick it up. That didn’t give Jasper a chance to lunge for the gun, in case he was feeling frisky.
She stripped off Jasper’s shirt, pants, shoes, and socks. Nothing. He stood in front of her in, surprisingly, tighty-whities. He was definitely scared, because his family jewels had retreated so much the underpants looked empty.
“I always thought you’d wear boxers,” she said.
“Undies off.” Silas waved the gun at Jasper.
Jasper looked at her with pleading eyes.
“Don’t worry,” she said. “I’m an actress.”
That didn’t help with his embarrassment, but Jasper shucked off his underpants, then tossed them on the pile of discarded clothes. Silas had him bend over and spread his cheeks. She held his hand and stroked his hair. Flames looked at them like they were crazy.
“You’re next.” Silas waved the gun at her.
She stepped in front of Jasper. “Unzip me, but don’t drop the dress on the floor. Hang it over the chair. I have to take it back, and I don’t want it to get wrinkled.”
Here she was about to get shot, and she was worrying about $927.
She shrugged the dress off her shoulders. She hadn’t worn a bra, and she’d kicked her shoes off at the door, so that just left her thong. Not that it was big enough to cover that giant ring.
Flames swept her tail across the floor. She looked worried. When this was over, she’d get another treat. Assuming they both lived through it.
“I’m going to pretend you’re a hot prison warden.” She positioned herself in front of Silas and assumed the position. Jasper’s face was red, and his jaw worked. He was getting angry. Good. So was she. “See anything that shouldn’t be there, warden?”
Between her legs, she watched Silas’s gaze flick down to inspect her cavities.
That’s when Jasper made his move. He lunged past her and grabbed for Silas’s gun.
“Flames, stay,” she called.
She pivoted around. The guys were grappling on the floor, rolling around together. She grabbed for Silas’s hair, and the gun went off.
Silas lay still on the floor, a red stain spreading up from the wound on his stomach.
Jasper held the gun in two shaking hands. For a brief instant, she considered taking it from him, but then he turned on her.
“Do you have it?” he asked.
“I haven’t been out of your sight since we were in the store.” She turned in a slow circle in front of him. “And you’ve seen everything else.”
“Get dressed.”
She and Jasper yanked on clothes. He didn’t help her zip her dress, so she knelt in front of the dog.
“Zip,” she said.
Flames grabbed her zipper between her teeth and tugged it up to her neck. She petted the dog’s head.
“We have to go,” she said. “The police will come soon. There was a gunshot.”
“Help me,” Silas gasped from the floor.
Jasper swiveled the gun toward him.
“Leave him,” she said. “He doesn’t know my real name, and I bet he doesn’t know yours either.”
Jasper shook himself like Flames did when she was wet.
“We walk out that door,” she said. “We go our separate ways, and we pretend this never happened.”
A distant siren wailed. It was probably too early to be the response to the gunshot, but Jasper jumped and looked in that direction.
“Out,” she told Flames, and the dog bolted through the door. She scooped up her shoes and walked behind her. Her back itched all the way up and down, waiting for a bullet that didn’t come.
Once outside, she pulled down those giant sunglasses and pulled a foldable white cane out from behind the bushes next to the front door. Flames sat still while she put a harness on her.
They walked off together. A blind woman and her dog.
That night, in her apartment, she surfed the Internet, looking for any mention of Silas or Jasper. Eventually, she found that an ambulance had been called to the dumpy apartment but not whether Silas had lived or died.
The apartment had been rented by Silas, so couldn’t be traced to either her or Jasper. It sounded like Silas had been found by himself, so Jasper must have gotten away. She’d liked Jasper, and she was glad he was free. She started humming the tune about breakfast at Tiffany’s. It was definitely a breakup song.
Keeping the song going, she went to cupboard and finally gave Flames her treat: canned pumpkin. The dog loved it and licked two tablespoons clean.
Besides tasting great, pumpkin was a great doggie laxative.
