The panic that had tortured her all day raised its ugly head again.
“Where’s Owen? He was just right here...with Shawn.”
This couldn’t be happening. She never should have let him out of her sight again. This was where the arsonist had brought her son, which meant he had to be nearby, and now, if he’d managed to grab her son again...
“Owen?” She shouted louder this time as she ran outside onto the porch.
“Claire?” Shawn turned around. Owen stood next to him on the corner of the porch.
“Mom, are you okay?”
“Owen...” She picked him up and held him against her chest.
“Mom.”
She put him down, but didn’t let go of his hand.
“I’m sorry,” Shawn said. “We just stepped out onto the porch. I thought it would be safe with so many officers out here. The sheriff is taping this off as a crime scene and Owen wanted to watch. I told you I’d take care of him for you.”
“I know. I shouldn’t have panicked.”
“No, I don’t blame you,” Shawn said. “We should have stayed in the cabin. I wasn’t thinking. And you’ve already been through so much today. I really am sorry.”
Detective Kaufman walked up to them. “And I’m sorry to interrupt, but we are going to need to talk to Owen and see if he can give us any clues to who took him. And while I’d like to work on your timetable, the sooner the better. We need to find this man, and Owen has been with him.”
“Of course,” Claire said. “I understand.”
“We’re actually not far from Timber Falls, and I have colleague there who’s a psychologist and has worked with the police before. If it’s okay with you, we can go there immediately.” Detective Kaufman lowered her voice. “I also need to be mindful of your son.”
Claire pulled the detective a couple of feet away, but kept Owen in full view. “I agree that the sooner we find this person, the sooner this will all be over. I’m just worried about him. He doesn’t seem to understand the significance of what happened. I don’t know the best way of handling things, but I don’t want him to feel as if he’s in trouble.”
“I understand. Stacy is good at uncovering details without making him feel guilty or scared.” Detective Kaufman glanced at her watch. “I’m going to keep the teams searching for now, but I’ll have Deputy Griffin escort you back to Timber Falls.”
Thirty minutes later, Claire was sitting in a back room of the Timber Falls sheriff’s office, handing Owen a mug of hot chocolate with marshmallows someone had scrounged up for him. She’d asked Reid to come, as well, knowing that despite what they might feel toward each other, they had to put Owen and finding his kidnapper first.
Claire sat. “Owen, I’d like you to meet someone. Her name is Miss Porter.”
“Hello.”
“I’m happy to meet you, Owen. You can call me Miss Stacy if you’d like.”
Owen just nodded.
“Sweetie, I’ll be right here the whole time, but Miss Stacy would like to talk to you about the man who took you. And when you’re done talking with her, I thought we might go get some tacos.”
“Okay.”
“Just answer everything she asks you as best you can.”
Claire glanced at Reid before leaning back in her chair, hating how out of control she felt, how hard it was to not take over the conversation.
“It sounds like you’ve had quite an exciting day,” Stacy said.
“Yep.”
“Can we talk about it?”
“I guess.”
“What can you tell me about the man in the brown car?”
Owen took a sip of his hot chocolate. “I was waiting for my grandma. He told me my mom was hurt and he was going to take me to see her. Told me my grandma would come after she bought lunch. That it was important that we hurry.”
“Is that why you went with him?”
“Yes. But I don’t know why he told me that. My mom said she’s fine.”
“You know, Owen, I’m not sure why he said that, either, but I know that your mother and the others are doing everything they can to find out. But mainly they are just happy you are safe. It’s always scary for a mommy when she doesn’t know where her child is.”
“I was scared too.”
“Owen, we want to find the man so we can talk to him, but we really need your help.”
Owen shifted in his seat. “Would that mean I’m like a sheriff’s deputy?”
“I bet if you help me, we could find you a badge. Would you like that?”
Owen nodded.
“Good. Now, do you remember what the man looked like?”
“Not really. He had a mask on. Well...kind of a mask.”
“What do you mean, Owen?”
“He had a hat and glasses and a beard. But it wasn’t a real beard though.”
Claire fiddled with the zipper of her jacket, praying he’d be able to give them something concrete, but five-year-olds were more interested in fast food and video games than remembering a description.
“Could you tell me about his beard?”
Owen grabbed his hat off the table. “It was like my hat, but black, I think.”
“A knit cap.”
“Yeah...it looked kind of silly.”
“A beard beanie,” Reid said.
“A beard beanie. What’s that?” Claire asked.
“It looks like a beanie, but it’s for your beard.”
“Okay...” Claire pulled out her phone and did a quick Google search before stumbling on what she was looking for. “Like this?”
She slid the phone in front of Owen.
“Yeah. I told him it was funny. Wearing a hat on your chin. He said it kept his face warm.”
“Do you remember what else he said to you?” Stacy asked.
“He said my mom had been in an accident.”
“A car accident?”
“I think so. He was going to take me to the hospital to see her.”
“Did he tell you what Grandma was doing?”
“He told me his friend was going to pick her up after she paid for the tacos.”
“And then you drove to the cabin?”
“He gave me a video game in the car and told me I could play with it if I stayed very quiet.”
“So that would have been extra fun for you.”
“Yeah. He told me Mommy said it was okay.”
“Did you go to any other cabins?”
Owen shook his head. “Nope, just the one where Mommy found me.”
Claire made a mental note of the discrepancy. The couple who’d called in saying they’d seen Owen had given the police a different location than where he was found. Was that just a mistake or something significant?
“Did he talk to anyone on the phone while you were in the car or here at the cabin?” Stacy asked.
“I don’t think so. He just kept checking his watch.”
“Owen, I’m going to show you some photos to see if you can recognize him.”
Owen just shrugged. “Okay.”
Stacy went through a number of photos Claire had given her of men who had been at the fires and matched the height and weight description her mother had given the police.
“Do you see him here?”
“No, but it’s hard to tell.”
“Because of his beard?”
Owen nodded. “They don’t have beards.”
“That is true. Did he ever take off the cap?”
“Nope. He told me his face got cold in the winter.”
“What else did he tell you, Owen?”
“He told me that my mom was better and that she was going to meet us there. And then she did.”
“Yes she did. She was very happy to see you.”
“But she’s not hurt.”
“No, your mother is fine. You don’t have to worry about her at all.”
Owen scrunched his lips together. “I remember something else.”
“What’s that, Owen?”
Claire sat up in her chair and leaned forward, praying her son had something that would help them find the man who’d taken him.
“He had a tattoo.”
“That’s great. Can you tell me where it was?”
“I don’t really know what it was, but it was here,” Owen said, pointing to his wrist.
“So he had a tattoo on his wrist. Was it an animal?”
“No.”
“Do you think you could draw it?”
“Maybe.”
Claire pulled out a piece of paper and a pen from her bag and slid it in front of Owen.
Owen took the pen, tapped it on the table, then starting drawing something. “It looked like...fire.”
Claire glanced at Reid. It made sense. An arsonist with flames on his wrist.
“Does that help?” Owen asked.
“Very much. You did great. Thank you for helping out.” Stacy shot him a wide grin. “I’m going to talk to Deputy O’Callaghan about getting you a badge.”
“Cool.”
Stacy stood up. “Can I borrow your mom for a minute, Owen? We’re just going to be in the hall.”
Owen reached for his hot chocolate and took another sip. “That’s okay.”
Reid followed the women into the hall where Detective Kaufman was waiting for them, but this time, Claire stayed close enough so she could still see Owen through the doorway.
“The information he gave will help,” Detective Kaufman said. “We’ll add the tattoo to the BOLO.”
“Good.”
“I understand you want to stay here in Timber Falls?” the detective asked.
“At my parents’ ranch,” Reid said. “Griffin and the captain believe they’ll be safest there.”
“Are you sure your parents are okay with that? Are you okay with that?” Claire asked.
“Of course. I want you both safe.”
She studied his face, trying to read his expression, but there was no emotion or warmth behind his words. He was just doing his duty as Owen’s father. Just like she’d always feared.
And there wasn’t anything she could do to take back the past.
She’d almost lost Owen, and now because of what she’d done, she’d lost Reid for the second time.
Claire opened the car door, then kissed Owen’s sleepy face. “Hey, buddy...can you wake up? We’re at the ranch I told you about. They’ve got horses and a pond. You’re going to love it.”
Owen’s eyes widened. “Can I ride a horse?”
“Well, tonight we’re going to go get settled into the house and go to bed, but we’ll be here for a few days.”
“I think we can manage a horse ride tomorrow, if it’s okay with your mom,” Reid said. “Do you want me to carry him in?”
Owen slipped out of her arms. “I can walk.”
Claire marched up the front steps behind Owen, then stopped at the top of the stairs, suddenly feeling as if she were heading to an execution, not just into the father of her son’s childhood home. That was a problem. But how was she going to face Reid’s family with them knowing she’d never told them about Owen?
She tried to steady her breathing, but the anxiety lingered. Still, Owen was okay and that was all that mattered right now. Reid would come around, and if he didn’t...well...they’d go on with their lives and be okay, as they always had.
Then why is your heart begging to let him in?
She glanced at Reid, wishing he’d at least talk to her, but he’d been quiet the entire trip back to the ranch. The problem was, he had every right to ignore her. Maybe things would have been different all those years ago when she’d first found out she was expecting Owen. If she’d simply told Reid the truth then, they’d be in a different place today. But it didn’t matter now, because she hadn’t done that. And she couldn’t force Reid to love her and Owen.
Marci met them at the doorway with a broad smile. “You must be Owen.”
Owen nodded. “Yes, ma’am.”
“I’m Reid’s mom. And if it’s all right with your mom, I have some fresh chocolate chip cookies in the kitchen waiting for you.”
“Mom, can I?”
“Yes. Just remember your manners.”
“I’m going to put you in Reid’s old room,” Marci said to Claire. “It’s a good size, and we set up a cot in there for Owen.”
“Thank you.” Another pang of guilt raised its ugly head. “I really appreciate it.”
“Of course. I’ve also got tea and coffee.”
“Some tea sounds great. And thank you for letting us stay.”
“I’m sure Reid has told you that I’ve always loved a house full of people.” Marci turned to Reid. “Why don’t you get Owen some cookies and milk, then maybe introduce him to Sasha. And Claire, you go sit down in the recliner. I’ll bring you some tea in a minute.”
Claire watched as Owen followed Reid into the kitchen, seemingly right at home, then she headed into the living room where Christmas lights were twinkling on the tree. Her son needed a father figure in his life.
He needed Reid.
She sat down in the chair, knowing she should be helping in the kitchen, but exhaustion enveloped her. Today had pushed her to the limits emotionally and left her reeling, but Owen was safe.
Thank You, God.
She couldn’t forget she had so much to be thankful for.
“How are you holding up?” Marci asked, setting down a cup of tea beside Claire.
“I don’t think I realized how tired I am until I sat down.”
“From the little I’ve heard about your day, you’ve been through a lot. I’m so sorry.”
“I just want to thank you for letting us stay.” Claire picked up the tea and took a sip. “You’ve gone far beyond the call of duty.”
“We’re happy to have you. Owen’s absolutely adorable. You’ve done a great job raising him, and I know it can’t be easy being a single mom.”
“My mom helps out a lot. Traveling for my job has made it a bit more challenging, but I enjoy my work and am home most of the time.”
“Your mother’s coming down too, isn’t she?”
Claire glanced at her watch. “She should be here any minute, actually. She wanted to get Owen and me some of our clothes.”
“Good.” Marci cocked her head. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
“Of course.” Claire pulled the warm mug against her, not missing the serious tone in Marci’s voice.
“I know I’m prying, but Reid is Owen’s father, isn’t he?”
“I...” Claire nodded, taken off guard by the question. But at least everything was out in the open. No more secrets. No more hiding. “Yes. He is.”
“I can see it in Owen’s eyes.” Marci walked to a bookshelf next to the fireplace and pulled out an album. “He looks exactly like Reid when he was five.”
Marci set the album in front of her.
Claire ran her finger across the photo of Reid sitting up proudly on a horse. “Wow. You’re right.”
Marci sat back down next to her. “Does Reid know?”
Claire nodded her head. “He found out today, not in a way I ever imagined it happening.”
“I’m assuming you had your reasons for not telling him.”
“I thought I did.” Claire sat silently for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts as the guilt continued to pulse through her. “I found out I was pregnant with Owen about a week after he broke things off between us. I listened to some advice that convinced me I was doing the right thing by keeping it from him, and that Reid would only be saddled with the two of us and in turn become resentful. I didn’t want him to get back into a relationship with me out of a sense of duty, but now...now I don’t think I did the right thing. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you. Reid missed all these years of being with his son, and you missed out on being grandparents.”
“I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you.”
“I never stopped thinking about Reid, or questioning what to do, but every time I wanted to tell him, I would stop, and the more time passed, the easier it became to keep that secret. Now I’ve realized that the secret I was trying to keep doesn’t help anyone, it only can hurt.” Claire turned back to Marci, worried about her response, but all she saw in the older woman’s eyes was compassion. A compassion she didn’t deserve. “I really am sorry. I kept your grandson from you. I never should have done that.”
“I’m assuming Owen doesn’t know?”
“Not yet. But I’m going to tell him.”
“I think you should. He deserves to know who his father is. The time is going to come, as well, when he starts asking questions, and avoiding the truth is just going to get harder.”
“I know, but Reid’s angry at me.” She set her tea down beside her, as the anxiety returned. “He doesn’t think I did the right thing.”
“He’s hurt and rightly so, to be honest.”
“I know.”
“What else is wrong?”
“I’m scared. The arsonist is still out there, which means Owen is still in danger. I just wish we had more answers.”
“No matter what my son is feeling right now, I know he’s going to do everything in his power to keep you safe. Both of you.”
“I know.” Claire looked out the window where Owen and Reid were playing with Sasha on the front porch. “I just feel like I’ve hurt so many people. And I’m worried that he’s going to feel obligated to walk back into my life. That’s what I’ve always wanted to avoid.”
“And then resent you for it?”
Claire nodded.
“I understand what you’re saying, but Reid is just as much involved in this situation as you are. You can’t forget that.”
“But I don’t want him to feel trapped. That will only hurt all of us.”
Marci sat back in her chair. “This is butting my head in where it doesn’t belong, but I’m just going to say that he’s never looked at anyone the way he looks at you.”
Claire started to respond, then stopped. Just like Reid, she was going to need time to process everything that had happened and what him knowing about Owen meant for her future. For their future. She’d spent the past six years expecting Reid to reject her if he ever found out. The thought that he might care about her—and Owen—both relieved and terrified her.
“So what am I supposed to do?” Claire asked.
“For now, I’d give him some space. I’m not going to make you any promises, but I know Reid. He’s not one to hold a grudge. Give him time to deal with his hurt and what it’s going to mean to have you back in his life.”
“And if he doesn’t want me in his life?”
“Don’t go there. Not yet. Just give him some space.”
Owen bounced back into the living room in front of Reid, clearly on his second wind. “Can we get a dog, Mom?”
Claire chuckled. “We’ll talk about that later, but right now, it’s time for you to get washed up and head on to bed.”
Owen scrunched his nose. “You mean a bath?”
Claire smiled. “I do indeed.”
“Do I have to?”
“Owen...”
“Yes, ma’am.”
Marci stood up and set her hands on her hips. “If you want to come with me, young man, I’ll get you set up with a towel and a toothbrush.”
“I’ll be there in just a minute, Owen.” Claire waited for the two of them to leave the room, then turned back to Reid.
“I just... I wanted to thank you for letting me stay here. I know this isn’t easy.”
“It’s fine. I’m just glad he seems to be okay.”
“Me too, though I’ve got a friend back in Denver I want him to see. She helps kids deal with traumatic stress.”
“I think that’s a good idea.”
Claire glanced down at the floor, hating the stark barrier that had come between them. “I’m sorry, Reid. You have to know that. I truly am.”
“I really wish you’d stop saying you’re sorry. What bothers me the most is that if none of this had happened, I still wouldn’t know about my son. You’re only telling me how sorry you are because I found out and now it’s in the open.”
“Reid—”
“Would you have told me?”
“Maybe. Eventually. When Owen started asking questions.”
“I wish I could say this is all going to end well between us, but right now, I just can’t get past the fact that you never told me the truth. How am I ever supposed to trust you again?” Reid grabbed his coat off the back of the chair where he’d left it. “I need to get some air. You have plenty of people to make sure you’re safe.”
“I’m not the only one needing protection. He tried to hurt you. Twice. You could have been killed in that wreck,” she said trying to keep the desperation out of her voice. “Besides...this is the perfect time to get to know Owen. He’d like that.”
Reid turned back to her. “What do you want out of this, Claire? A happy family?”
“Reid...”
“I can’t just forget everything that happened. That I have a son. That you never told me.”
“Have you forgotten that when you broke up with me, it was because you weren’t ready to commit. You didn’t want a family. What was I supposed to do?”
He looked down. “I don’t know.”
“Surely we can find a way to make this work. Even if it’s just for Owen’s sake.”
“I want Owen in my life, Claire, because he’s my son, but I can’t do this. I can’t do us.”
She started to say something, then closed her mouth. It didn’t matter what she said. He was right. She watched him turn around and leave the house, slamming the door behind him. No matter how hard she tried to make things right with him, this wasn’t something she was going to be able to fix.